Hey guys, I'm the ever Marvel loving girl, TheCinemaChick! If
you don't know, Thor: The Dark World has finally come to theaters and
fans are flocking to it. I have seen it as well, on Thursday when it
was completely empty. Seriously, there was only about thirteen of us
in there. I'm guessing early showings are losing steam since the
last few have been utter disappointments to me. At the same time, I
don't mind because even though I'm totally against distractions
during a movie, I'm the jerk who never shuts up. Seriously, I notice
things that I feel should be pointed out so I'm going to point them
out.
I have to admit that last night, my Marvel knowledge was put to
shame but that's another story for another time.
And yes, I am a week late in writing and posting this, but my
sincerest apologies! I had 2 exams and 2 quizzes last week so I had
to spend all my time studying so I wouldn't fail miserably. I didn't
exactly do well but I didn't do horrible.
Ah, enough about my scholastic life. You're here to discuss the
latest installment of Thor! I can say this right off the bat, this
movie is not about Thor. This is all about that mischievous,
conniving and all around, somehow loveable Loki. While he is a
fairly minor character and doesn't get much screen time, he steals
the entire movie. When he is present, he commands presence. You
focus on him and only him. That isn't to say Thor, Jane, Odin,
Frigga and Darcy are just standing around idle, but you have to
admit, Tom Hiddleston brings a great charisma to the character.
I don't want to spoil this movie because it truly is worth
watching. However, I didn't care for it as a whole. There were
parts of it that dragged for me and there was far too much...I don't
know how to say this...there were tons of flat characters. I'm sorry
but Thor, not Chris Hemsworth, has absolutely no personality. He's
just some big, hulking Norse god who is moping over a girl. You are
Thor! He's supposed to be a badass, not some emo! Then there's
Jane, who has spent the last, roughly 2 years I want to say, looking
for a way to get Thor back. Seriously? You're a physicist!
I make no secret of my dislike for Jane Foster. She's about as
exciting a paper towel. I'm also not a huge fan of Natalie Portman
but I think she is a decent actress. This just isn't her strong
suit. In “The Dark World”, she is what we like to call a Mary
Sue. She's borderline useless. She has a few times where she seems
like she could be useful but then she does something stupid. Her
best moments come at the end during the big battle with Malekith.
Before that, I don't care about her. Darcy is far more interesting,
animated and she has a wicked sense of humor. I would much rather
hang out with Kat Dennings.
Let's talk about the evil guy for a moment. I freaking love
Christopher Eccleston. I make no secret of that. He is wonderful as
Malekith and he is delightfully sinister. He's unrecognizable in
full makeup but his voice is obvious. I would have loved to see more
of him but his screen time is limited so it can focus more on Thor
and his relationship with Jane.
Oh, can I point out how stupid Jane is? I'm not bashing her but
come on! She gets trapped in a pocket universe and sees a strange
object that doesn't make sense. The normal reaction would be to find
a way out and get to safety. Nope. She touches the thing and
becomes infected with the Aether. Seriously. I can't help but think
how dumb that is. You never touch the creepy object when lost in a
strange place. You don't know where that's been or who's touched it!
That's something we learn as kids. Don't touch strange objects. If
she hadn't touched it, she wouldn't have awakened Malekith, pit the
universe in danger and oh yes...oh wait, I can't say that one. That
would be a spoiler. But trust me, it's a huge surprise. I sure
didn't see that one coming.
Sorry. I just really don't like Jane. The movie is fairly
straight forward. This happens, which causes a chain reaction. A
lot of things are shown in the trailers or if you are internet savvy,
you've seen a lot of things on Pintrest, Facebook and Tumblr. By the
way, whoever posted the end of the movie on Tumblr, shame on you!
How dare you ruin the movie for the rest of us? And no, I did not
seek out spoilers. I enjoy that site because there are loads of
pages dedicated to different fandoms, like Tom Hiddleston,
Supernatural, Doctor Who and lots and lots of cat pictures. Beware
those sites. Spoilers ahead. Browse at your own risk.
The film felt very long to me, too long honestly. Like I said,
the scenes with Loki are the best because he brings sass. There is
no other way to put it. He is sarcastic and cracking jokes the whole
time until...well, I can't say. Trust me, I want to say what happens
but I do not believe in spoilers. Trust me, I'm going to put myself
through hell this coming weekend with the Doctor Who special. I have
to wait two extra days until I see it. I know...hell.
Also, let's discuss plot holes. In the first film, Thor destroys
the Rainbow Bridge, making it impossible for him to go back to Earth.
In “Avengers”, Loki implies that Odin used dark magic to get him
there. Well...now the bridge is fixed. How did this happen? How do
you fix a mythical bridge like that? Seriously, this is something
that has bothered me for a while. While we're given an amazing
description of Malekith and the Aether and the Dark Elves, almost
nothing else gets a decent explanation. It's like, Eric Selvig's
storyline. How did that come about? Why does Darcy have an
assistant? Where did he come from and what is his major? I hate
movies that just bring things up then never tell us why this happens.
It's like we just have to accept what happens.
Basically, I can see why people are flocking to the theater to
see this. It has some great action, the story is mostly solid and
the characters are memorable. While Odin isn't at his best and
Frigga...WHY?? I can't tell you what happens but it's almost like
Joss Whedon planned this movie. If you don't understand, Whedon
likes to kill characters. Ok, I just spoiled it for you. She dies.
However, she dies in a badass way. The post credit scenes are
mediocre, but the second isn't worth sticking around for. I know, I
know, it's a Marvel movie therefore you have to by unspoken
obligation to stay.
The ending was a twist I did not see coming and usually I can
predict these movies. However, ir feels like a transition film.
It's like, we needed to see what Thor was doing between his first
movie and the second Avengers movie. Apparently, he becomes a mopey,
mildly whiny man with the hots for a mortal woman. Sounds like a
typical romantic comedy, only with no comedy. That's why Loki
becomes a necessity for this franchise. He is bringing in the
masses. Well, Tom Hiddleston has skyrocketed to stardom because of
these movies. He's not really even in the first half of the film but
he dominates the screen when he's there. He brings dimension to the
wooden acting around him.
There are people actually petitioning to get Loki his own film
and I welcome that idea. I would like to see what happened to him
between “Thor” and “The Avengers”. However, if its purely a
fangirl film, where its made solely to appeal to the audience because
of a name, I won't see it. If a Loki film does happen, it needs a
strong plot with equally strong actors.
I would say if you are going to see “Thor: The Dark World”
skip the 3D. Once again, it adds absolutely nothing to the overall
effect. You aren't missing anything but seeing it in 2D. I saw it
in XD 3D which honestly, was a waste of money for me. Then again, I
went to a triple feature so I paid a little more than the average
ticket price.
Guys, I am so sorry that I have not been as active this year. I
got burned out a little for some reason and for a few months, I had
no desire to review. I never meant to abandon this thing entirely
but I plan to rebound. I will be a better CinemaChick and I will do
my best to bring you more snarky commentary on the new releases. I
also plan to resume “Bad Movie Bonanza” and “Trailer Trash”
with Kit Kat in the near future. I will also take another look into
my past to pick up the “Back to Basics” series. I have also
wanted to look at some old school Disney films and the ones you may
not have seen or even heard of. I have a lot of ideas in mind so
there's a lot to look forward to in the end of the year and into
2014.
For those who have stuck with me, I thank you from the bottom of
my heart.
To any potential new fans, welcome to the fold.
I'm TheCinemaChick and I am actually in class at this very
moment.
