Monday, June 24, 2019

X-Men: The Dark Phoenix

*Sighs*

Guys.  This one...this one's going to be painful.  I've found a movie that's going on my Worst Of for the year.  And this is coming from my first ever fandom.  AND it's one of my favorite story lines but once again, they manage to screw it all up.  This is the second time we've gotten this specific plot but at least this one was closer to the source material.  Even then, that's not saying much.  There was so much wrong with this...before I get into it, let me tell you about something that happened to me.  Maybe then you'll understand why I'm so disappointed.

As many of you know, I'm part of a trivia team.  I go almost every Wednesday.  Once or twice a month, the place has a theme.  So far, I've competed in Game of Thrones and Marvel, both times I failed miserably.  When I heard there was going to be a X-Men themed trivia night, I got excited.  By the way, guess what I'm reviewing?  Anyway, I love the X-Men.  I have comics, graphic novels, visual guides, seen all the movies...I'm borderline obsessed.  Seriously, I know more than the common person should know.  My point is, this was my first fandom and I dove deep into it. 

So, I won trivia last week.  Not my team, literally me.  I beat out all the other teams to win $50 and some various prizes.  Like I said, X-Men is my thing.  That's how much I love this stuff.  So I was excited when I knew Dark Phoenix would be adapted into a movie.  I mean, yes, we got the Phoenix story before, but we all like to pretend that X-Men: The Last Stand didn't happen.  I could go on and on about how much I disliked that movie, but that's another story for another day.

Let's talk about the latest Dark Phoenix offering.

I don't even know where to begin with this one.  It was plagued with rewrites, reshoots and lots of problems.  And believe me, it shows.  The story was choppy, the characters were one dimensional and a lot of it felt strange.  The villain, if you can call it that, is barely even present and if you took it out, the movie might have improved.  A lot of elements are introduced, then left unfinished and the movie feels incomplete.  They don't really have a sense of finalty and as far as I know, this is the last movie in this current franchise.

Well...I did some research and they're going to do more movies.  They want to focus on the younger mutants so...this *might* be good.  I am worried about their next endeavor, "The New Mutants" because it was scheduled for release this year and was pushed back to next year.  I really hope they don't mess this one up as bad as they have films in the past.  Don't get me wrong, the first iteration of the X-Men movies were good.  X-Men and X2 were actually good.  The Last Stand was trash.  The Logan films were both good and disappointing as the completely messed up Wolverine's backstory.  Plus, there was some terrible CGI.  Don't even get me started on the "introduction" of Deadpool.  We don't talk about that.  So when I heard they were doing an origin series, yeah, I was excited.

Needless to say, I'm disappointed.

I mean, come on.  They hinted at a huge story line in the end credits scene in "Apocalypse".  They teased Mr. Sinister.  For those of you who don't know, Nathaniel Essex (the briefcase they showed had the name Esssex on it) is better known as Mr. Sinister.  And if you don't know who this baddie is, well, sit down kiddies, I'll tell you.  Essex is a villain who was so bad that even his wife knew it.  She's the one who called him Sinister and the name stuck.  Not only that, he had a massive role in another very popular mutant's life.  Did you know that Remy LeBeau AKA Gambit was adopted?  Mr. Sinister hired Remy do to some dirty work and trust me, this led to more shenanigans.  But my point is, they had so many things they could have touched on but nope, they left all that ignored.

So what we got instead was a 114 minute snooze fest that couldn't live up to expectations.  And no, I'm not being harsh because I'm an X-Men uber fangirl.  I'm saying this as your average movie goer.  To make matters worse, they give away huge details in the trailers.  For instance, before I saw the film, I already knew Mystique would die because they basically already showed it to me.  So when the scene rolled around, it wasn't shocking or heartbreaking because I was already aware of it.  What could have been a beautiful send off for a beloved character was ruined.  Yet, it then raises some questions.  Mystique shows up in later films, the ones that are set in a more current time so...plot hole.  And don't use the Days of Future Past logic.  I mean, it could explain every plot hole but that would be such lazy writing.

Dark Phoenix had almost no enjoyable moments.  In fact, it was quite forgettable.  Nothing really jumped out at me or made me excited.  It was mostly me being confused by the characters and not being sure what the actual story was.  Was it an attempt to show Jean dealing with past trauma?  Was it the Phoenix saga?  Were we going to get a history of Genosha?  Who were the other mutants on Genosha?  Who were the mutants who went with Erik to New York?  Is this why Kurt Wagner decided to become a priest? 

While I'm discussing certain characters, I want to address something mildly spoilery.  Nicolas Hoult plays a decent Hank McCoy, I'll give him that.  However, in Apocalypse, he mentions he's created a drug that suppresses the mutant gene, allowing Charles to walk again or something.  I don't remember, I haven't seen the film in a while.  He uses it on himself to appear human, but that wears off.  In Dark Phoenix, he's able to shift between his human and blue form, which is something that's never been addressed before?  So is he a shapeshifter?  Because he's always been big, blue, furry, Beast.  I wish these things got clarified.

Now, let me touch on Vuk, the villain of the story.  She's barely visible.  We get a weak backstory about her people dying because of the Phoenix force and that's it.  That's all we know about her.  She has no other qualities to her, other than being bland.  If Vuk had been removed, I wouldn't have minded.  Seeing Jean struggle with her powers and inability to control them was enough story, but nope, we had to add an additional, somewhat pointless layer to it.  Vuk and the D'Bari are maybe in 20 minutes of the movie.  But we have no backstory so I can't view her as sympathetic.  Vuk comes off as vengeful so I really couldn't find a reason to like her as a character.


I wanted to like this movie, I really did.  But once again, the story was butchered.  And now that Disney has acquired Fox, who knows what will happen next with this franchise.  I mean, they've done a decent job with Marvel but Fox tends to be a bit more edgy with their choices.  I don't know if this means we're going to have all future X-Men films watered down to make them more family friendly but I sincerely hope that is not the case.  X-Men makes it a point to touch on issues that people don't want to discuss, like discrimination, racism and even homosexuality.  It's always been this way.  Don't believe me, have a look at my autographed copy of X-Men that has the first ever gay wedding on it's cover and yes, Stan Lee (God rest his soul) signed it.

So, New Mutants has the potential to be good, as all films do.  The constant push backs have me worried because some times, many of the times, all the add ons can really destroy a film.  For example, in Thor: THe Dark World, Loki was supposed to die.  But, people reacted so negatively that they brought him back.  And you all know I love Loki and Tom Hiddleston, but I though having him die in the noble way he did was perfect.  Bringing him back felt like a mistake and honestly, he really didn't have anything to do in Ragnarok, then just got killed off again in Infinity War.  Movies can't decide between being good and pandering to the audience.  Not everyone is going to like your finished product, that goes for everyone.  At least create something you're proud of.

Trust me, this is a lesson I've had to learn in a very hard way.  It's the reason I lost all confidence in my skills as a blogger and film critic.  I was trying to write things I thought people would want from me, not write what I wanted to.  I made posts I wasn't proud of because I felt I had to churn stuff out.  The truth is, I have to do things in my own time so I can be proud of what I'm posting online for you, my lovely reader, to read.  Otherwise...why do what I do?

Dark Phoenix isn't the worst X-Men film out there.  The Last Stand is.  However, it still doesn't know what it wants to be and that was its downfall.  Instead of creating something that was potentially amazing, we got a generic, confusing mess that didn't have a satisfactory ending.  Hell, they left it wide open for a sequel.

Dear cinematic gods...don't let there be a sequel.

I know this review seems like it's been a little...off and maybe cut abruptly short, but I am rather ill at the moment.  I've been working on this review for a week and I really wanted to finish it because I also plan to review Shaft, which I saw.  My friend Sin surprised me and took me to see it, so I'd like to talk about that too.

Plus, I was talking to some other friends, Shadow and Pink, about Disney and princess and things like that and they gave me some very interesting ideas I want to talk about in a future blog.  So, there's something for everyone to look forward to.

I'm Cora Valentine, better known as TheCinemaChick and if I had a mutant power, I'd be an empath.

Love you guys and I'll see you in the next blog.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

GODZILLA!!!!!

Hello everyone who reads blogs on the internets!  My name is Cora Valentine, most of you know me better as TheCinemaChick because I'm a girl who reviews movies a lot!  I meant to write this review last week but you know, sometimes things just slip away from me and I don't get around to doing them until the next week.  I'm such a procrastinator, really.  I admit to it.

But you don't want to hear about that, do you?

...do you?

Nah, we're gonna skip over my personal problems (for now) and focus on the movie that is causing me a mixed reaction.  I was incredibly excited to see it but after seeing it, I honestly don't think it lives up to the hype.  It's not a disappointment by any means, I just don't think it knows what it wants to be yet.  There are so many messages and conflicts that are presented that it just got muddled.  Unfortunately, it also caused the plot to suffer.  While it was visually stunning and overall entertaining, it just didn't live up to the standards I had set in my mind for it.

Let's go back a bit before we dive into this new film, shall we?

I love the Godzilla movies.  I remember watching the old claymation ones as a kid and honestly, I still love them.  When I heard they were getting remade for a more modern audience, I was excited.  There were so many possible stories and it could have done almost anything, but I feel it is holding back for some reason.  The first Godzilla movie, which came out  in 2014, was enjoyable.  Fry, Butterfly and I all saw it together.  We came to the general conclusion that it needed more Bryan Cranston in it.  However, it had a cohesive plot that worked with the monster attacks.  The plot didn't suffer for the action.  I would say it was a solid film.  Let's...let's just not talk about the Matthew Broderick film from 1998, okay?  Can we all just agree to let it go and bury it in the sands of time?

Then, in 2017, we had another addition to this revamped monsters series.  Kong: Skull Island was also enjoyable, however, it was also problematic.  Bear with me on this one, it's going to get a little strange.  Again, overall, I liked the movie.  It was fun and set me up for future movies.  The cast worked perfectly, with one exception.  This is where I'm going to nitpick.  I love Tom Hiddleston, I really do.  He's one of my favorite actors but damnit, I got sick of seeing him in the Kong movie.  I get it, he's a main character, but they shoved him so far to the front that he overshadowed the giant ape the movie was about!  After seeing it with Fry, I told her that the movie was basically just Tom Hiddleston arm porn.  They really wanted us to look at his arms as he fought in slow motion and I freaking HATED it.  I loved the movie and it's post credit scene, but I could not stand Hiddleston in the film.  And it's not his fault.  He's the victim of poor writing and truthfully, I think they pushed him so far into the foreground as a cash grab.  Put his face on something and people will eat it up.

Tom Hiddleston, you deserve better.

Which brings me all the way back to 2019 and the new release Godzilla: King of the Monsters.  Again, I enjoyed it.  I had a lot of fun with the film, even though the run time wasn't the best.  I understand why it's well over 2 hours but there are times when it just drags and you feel the run time.  For the most part, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen because there was so much going on.  Now that I've time to think about it, I have some issues with the movie as a whole.  As always, I'll try to be as spoiler free as possible.  I won't talk about any major plot points, just stuff you've probably seen in the trailers.

Fry and I saw this last Tuesday and to my surprise, the theater was fairly empty.  I thought there would be more people there since the summer movie season is in full swing now.  It didn't bother me because no one was around us, so I admit, I cracked a few jokes during the film.  I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M A HYPOCRITE!  DON'T @ME!

Yes, I'm extremely, anti talking during movies.  I make no secret of it.  I am the person that will throw something at you tell you to STFU if you won't shut up.  But the theater was empty except for like 3 people way at the top, okay?  It's not something I do normally...except at Aladdin because I was singing along.  Not helping my case, am I?  Damn.

Anyway, this Godzilla picks up after the events of the last one.  I'll admit, I must have forgotten a few details because I didn't remember this family from the last movie.  But sure, they were there.  Let's go with that.  You've seen them in the trailer, Eleven is now the daughter of the woman from The Conjuring series.  The thing is, and this might be a bit spoiler-ish, the characters don't really matter.  There are maybe 2 you should pay attention to, everyone else is just there.  First, we have Emma Russell, who is the...protagonist?  Nah...she's more like an anti hero...I think...she's doing what she believes is right, but for the wrong person.  She's inciting chaos because she believes her actions will bring about peace.  What's that called?

Mrs. Whiteside, help me out here?  I'm drawing a blank!

The other person you should remember is Ishiro Serizawa, played by the always amazing Ken Watanabe.  Really, those two drive the plot.  I mean...if you can call it a plot.  I'll get to that in a moment.  Emma and Serizawa are sort of on the same side because they both want to protect Godzilla.  However, Emma choices end up screwing her over and basically, she's an idiot.  Never ally yourself with the guy who identifies as any kind of terrorist.  Even if it's Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance).  Another problem with this movie: Charles Dance is clearly billed as the antagonist but he's barely in the film!  I legit forgot he had a role until he popped up at the end.  If you're going to highlight someone and push them as the bad guy, don't shove them so far into the background he's forgettable.  That's what happened here.  I didn't even know his character's name until I looked it up on IMDB. 

Let's start off with what I enjoyed about Godzilla: King of the Monsters.  The visuals blew me away.  Props to the special effects team on this one.  I was awed by how good they made the creatures look.  Remember, I'm not a fan of CGI, but in this case, it worked out beautifully.  Even then, the non animated scenes were also brilliant.  They paid attention to small details and it worked.  I was sucked in because there are moments on screen that are truly breathtaking.  For instance, when they introduce one of the monsters, they way they did was so well done, I was speechless.  I would even go so far as to say this may be a contender for Best Special Effects. 

The cast was decent.  Millie Bobby Brown managed to separate herself from her role in Stranger Things.  I mean, I did look at her and think of Eleven, but that was only in passing.  She is branching out and kudos to her.  What is a kudos, by the way?  Anyone?  Help a girl out here?  Anyway, I thought she did a great job and I look forward to seeing her future endeavors in the acting world.  Charles Dance, though not very present, does give off the bad guy vibe. Granted, I don't know if it's because he's just born to play bad guys or if it's because I associate him with Game of Thrones.  Like Brown, Dance also managed to shed the persona of the role he will forever be known for.  Yet, he really didn't get a chance to shine as the villain, which is sad.  You guys know I love a good villain.  Maybe he'll have a bigger role in the sequel? (**MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT THERE**)

What didn't I like about this movie?  The plot.  They had a good solid plot in mind but they chose visuals and action scenes instead.  Like, yes, I get it, you have to do this thing for that thing to happen, but they stop bringing up the thing!  The catalyst for the war of the monsters disappears during the second act.  While I love how good the film looked, I cannot believe they sacrificed what could have been a damn good story too.  The second act is mostly just the (**SEMI SPOILERYISH**) introducing new monsters, having monster battles and the humans trying to kill said monsters.  And no, I haven't said monsters enough.

Like, I didn't even get the names of all the titans they introduced, so I had to make up names for them.  We get Godzilla, obviously.  We get a slew of monsters I won't name so I don't spoil anything else for you but again, they are barely shown.  Angry Fawkes (not the creature's real name but I don't know what it was so that's what I'm calling it) had one good fight scene before disappearing until the finale.  Mega Mamoswine (again, no idea what it's called) was nothing more than a cameo.  Same with the Muto from the last movie.  It showed up once.   Then we have Aragog's American Cousin, Gary.  Who are these Titans?  Why are the relevant?  How did they get released?  How were they captured or suspended or whatever?  It's never mentioned!  It's basically "Oh hey, there's Gary, let's release him".  They never stop to explain how important, if they are important, these creatures are.

I get it though.  You're on a time constraint, but it would take, what, like 4 minutes to give me some exposition?  Not only that, you spend so much time setting up this family, only to basically ignore it and occasionally show some teen angst.  Again, Brown did amazing but she can do better.  And they give a huge middle finger to the audience because they set up one ending, then just go "Nah, let's just change it all up last minute".  Again, it works, but why do it that way?  It felt like a last minute re-shoot.  And okay, I can buy that there might be an alternate ending, but it didn't feel organic to the character at all.  She spent the entire movie trying to do a thing, realized she lost another thing then just up and did something else?  I know it all sounds confusing but if you've seen the movie, you understand it.  Or, I'll explain it to you in private so I don't spoil it for someone else.

Overall, I would say yes, see Godzilla: King of Monsters.  It's a visual treat and it's just a lot of fun to sit through.  Despite the weak plot and the lackluster characters, it wasn't too bad.  I loved seeing all the monsters depicted on screen together.  The CGI is just perfect and oh yes, the ending was well worth the two hour wait.  Plus, they have really awesome call backs to their previous films.  So you do see bits from the previous Godzilla and from Kong, which help tie the series together as a whole.  Granted, my stupid self said, "so that means more Tom Hiddleston?"

Don't ask okay?  Just let me have my moment.

There's also an end credit scene you need to stick around for!  Fry and I were the only ones who wait because I said, "Kong had a post credits scene, this one's going to pull a Marvel and have one too, I just know it."  And BAM, I WAS RIGHT!  The employees at the theater confirmed it as they cleaned.  And it's kind of important because it sets up the next film and if they are going off what they showed in that scene, then the next one is going to be so freaking good!  The monster battle scenes were so good in this one, I can't wait to see what's in store for the next one.

Guys.
Guys!
GUYS!
So, I did a little research on the internet and apparently, the next movie is going to be a prequel, "Godzilla vs. Kong" which is slated for a March 2020 release!  I just found all this out and got really excited.  Wait, a prequel.  That really does mean there's a chance for more Tom Hiddleston!!  I just really love Tom Hiddleston, okay? 

You know what, I'm satisfied with my review.  I'm getting back into my own personal groove and it feels good.  I feel like me again.  And since, I've written a lot, I'm going to end things here.  If you're curious, it took me an hour and 45 minutes to write this, this includes checking IMDb and the internet for various sources, proofreading and editing. 

But I'm happy with how this has turned out.  I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I'm Cora Valentine, AKA TheCinemaChick and in my next blog...I have some big news to share with everyone.

I love you all, thank you for sticking with me all these years, through my highs and lows, my many hiatuses and all my self doubt.  Whenever I have someone asking what movie I'm doing next or when my next post will be, it makes me feel like I'm finally doing something right.  Film is my passion.  Thank you for sharing this with me.

In the immortal words of Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica: Take care of each other.  Love each other.  Love yourself.

See you guys next time.