GODZILLA!!!!!

Hello everyone who reads blogs on the internets!  My name is Cora Valentine, most of you know me better as TheCinemaChick because I'm a girl who reviews movies a lot!  I meant to write this review last week but you know, sometimes things just slip away from me and I don't get around to doing them until the next week.  I'm such a procrastinator, really.  I admit to it.

But you don't want to hear about that, do you?

...do you?

Nah, we're gonna skip over my personal problems (for now) and focus on the movie that is causing me a mixed reaction.  I was incredibly excited to see it but after seeing it, I honestly don't think it lives up to the hype.  It's not a disappointment by any means, I just don't think it knows what it wants to be yet.  There are so many messages and conflicts that are presented that it just got muddled.  Unfortunately, it also caused the plot to suffer.  While it was visually stunning and overall entertaining, it just didn't live up to the standards I had set in my mind for it.

Let's go back a bit before we dive into this new film, shall we?

I love the Godzilla movies.  I remember watching the old claymation ones as a kid and honestly, I still love them.  When I heard they were getting remade for a more modern audience, I was excited.  There were so many possible stories and it could have done almost anything, but I feel it is holding back for some reason.  The first Godzilla movie, which came out  in 2014, was enjoyable.  Fry, Butterfly and I all saw it together.  We came to the general conclusion that it needed more Bryan Cranston in it.  However, it had a cohesive plot that worked with the monster attacks.  The plot didn't suffer for the action.  I would say it was a solid film.  Let's...let's just not talk about the Matthew Broderick film from 1998, okay?  Can we all just agree to let it go and bury it in the sands of time?

Then, in 2017, we had another addition to this revamped monsters series.  Kong: Skull Island was also enjoyable, however, it was also problematic.  Bear with me on this one, it's going to get a little strange.  Again, overall, I liked the movie.  It was fun and set me up for future movies.  The cast worked perfectly, with one exception.  This is where I'm going to nitpick.  I love Tom Hiddleston, I really do.  He's one of my favorite actors but damnit, I got sick of seeing him in the Kong movie.  I get it, he's a main character, but they shoved him so far to the front that he overshadowed the giant ape the movie was about!  After seeing it with Fry, I told her that the movie was basically just Tom Hiddleston arm porn.  They really wanted us to look at his arms as he fought in slow motion and I freaking HATED it.  I loved the movie and it's post credit scene, but I could not stand Hiddleston in the film.  And it's not his fault.  He's the victim of poor writing and truthfully, I think they pushed him so far into the foreground as a cash grab.  Put his face on something and people will eat it up.

Tom Hiddleston, you deserve better.

Which brings me all the way back to 2019 and the new release Godzilla: King of the Monsters.  Again, I enjoyed it.  I had a lot of fun with the film, even though the run time wasn't the best.  I understand why it's well over 2 hours but there are times when it just drags and you feel the run time.  For the most part, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen because there was so much going on.  Now that I've time to think about it, I have some issues with the movie as a whole.  As always, I'll try to be as spoiler free as possible.  I won't talk about any major plot points, just stuff you've probably seen in the trailers.

Fry and I saw this last Tuesday and to my surprise, the theater was fairly empty.  I thought there would be more people there since the summer movie season is in full swing now.  It didn't bother me because no one was around us, so I admit, I cracked a few jokes during the film.  I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M A HYPOCRITE!  DON'T @ME!

Yes, I'm extremely, anti talking during movies.  I make no secret of it.  I am the person that will throw something at you tell you to STFU if you won't shut up.  But the theater was empty except for like 3 people way at the top, okay?  It's not something I do normally...except at Aladdin because I was singing along.  Not helping my case, am I?  Damn.

Anyway, this Godzilla picks up after the events of the last one.  I'll admit, I must have forgotten a few details because I didn't remember this family from the last movie.  But sure, they were there.  Let's go with that.  You've seen them in the trailer, Eleven is now the daughter of the woman from The Conjuring series.  The thing is, and this might be a bit spoiler-ish, the characters don't really matter.  There are maybe 2 you should pay attention to, everyone else is just there.  First, we have Emma Russell, who is the...protagonist?  Nah...she's more like an anti hero...I think...she's doing what she believes is right, but for the wrong person.  She's inciting chaos because she believes her actions will bring about peace.  What's that called?

Mrs. Whiteside, help me out here?  I'm drawing a blank!

The other person you should remember is Ishiro Serizawa, played by the always amazing Ken Watanabe.  Really, those two drive the plot.  I mean...if you can call it a plot.  I'll get to that in a moment.  Emma and Serizawa are sort of on the same side because they both want to protect Godzilla.  However, Emma choices end up screwing her over and basically, she's an idiot.  Never ally yourself with the guy who identifies as any kind of terrorist.  Even if it's Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance).  Another problem with this movie: Charles Dance is clearly billed as the antagonist but he's barely in the film!  I legit forgot he had a role until he popped up at the end.  If you're going to highlight someone and push them as the bad guy, don't shove them so far into the background he's forgettable.  That's what happened here.  I didn't even know his character's name until I looked it up on IMDB. 

Let's start off with what I enjoyed about Godzilla: King of the Monsters.  The visuals blew me away.  Props to the special effects team on this one.  I was awed by how good they made the creatures look.  Remember, I'm not a fan of CGI, but in this case, it worked out beautifully.  Even then, the non animated scenes were also brilliant.  They paid attention to small details and it worked.  I was sucked in because there are moments on screen that are truly breathtaking.  For instance, when they introduce one of the monsters, they way they did was so well done, I was speechless.  I would even go so far as to say this may be a contender for Best Special Effects. 

The cast was decent.  Millie Bobby Brown managed to separate herself from her role in Stranger Things.  I mean, I did look at her and think of Eleven, but that was only in passing.  She is branching out and kudos to her.  What is a kudos, by the way?  Anyone?  Help a girl out here?  Anyway, I thought she did a great job and I look forward to seeing her future endeavors in the acting world.  Charles Dance, though not very present, does give off the bad guy vibe. Granted, I don't know if it's because he's just born to play bad guys or if it's because I associate him with Game of Thrones.  Like Brown, Dance also managed to shed the persona of the role he will forever be known for.  Yet, he really didn't get a chance to shine as the villain, which is sad.  You guys know I love a good villain.  Maybe he'll have a bigger role in the sequel? (**MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT THERE**)

What didn't I like about this movie?  The plot.  They had a good solid plot in mind but they chose visuals and action scenes instead.  Like, yes, I get it, you have to do this thing for that thing to happen, but they stop bringing up the thing!  The catalyst for the war of the monsters disappears during the second act.  While I love how good the film looked, I cannot believe they sacrificed what could have been a damn good story too.  The second act is mostly just the (**SEMI SPOILERYISH**) introducing new monsters, having monster battles and the humans trying to kill said monsters.  And no, I haven't said monsters enough.

Like, I didn't even get the names of all the titans they introduced, so I had to make up names for them.  We get Godzilla, obviously.  We get a slew of monsters I won't name so I don't spoil anything else for you but again, they are barely shown.  Angry Fawkes (not the creature's real name but I don't know what it was so that's what I'm calling it) had one good fight scene before disappearing until the finale.  Mega Mamoswine (again, no idea what it's called) was nothing more than a cameo.  Same with the Muto from the last movie.  It showed up once.   Then we have Aragog's American Cousin, Gary.  Who are these Titans?  Why are the relevant?  How did they get released?  How were they captured or suspended or whatever?  It's never mentioned!  It's basically "Oh hey, there's Gary, let's release him".  They never stop to explain how important, if they are important, these creatures are.

I get it though.  You're on a time constraint, but it would take, what, like 4 minutes to give me some exposition?  Not only that, you spend so much time setting up this family, only to basically ignore it and occasionally show some teen angst.  Again, Brown did amazing but she can do better.  And they give a huge middle finger to the audience because they set up one ending, then just go "Nah, let's just change it all up last minute".  Again, it works, but why do it that way?  It felt like a last minute re-shoot.  And okay, I can buy that there might be an alternate ending, but it didn't feel organic to the character at all.  She spent the entire movie trying to do a thing, realized she lost another thing then just up and did something else?  I know it all sounds confusing but if you've seen the movie, you understand it.  Or, I'll explain it to you in private so I don't spoil it for someone else.

Overall, I would say yes, see Godzilla: King of Monsters.  It's a visual treat and it's just a lot of fun to sit through.  Despite the weak plot and the lackluster characters, it wasn't too bad.  I loved seeing all the monsters depicted on screen together.  The CGI is just perfect and oh yes, the ending was well worth the two hour wait.  Plus, they have really awesome call backs to their previous films.  So you do see bits from the previous Godzilla and from Kong, which help tie the series together as a whole.  Granted, my stupid self said, "so that means more Tom Hiddleston?"

Don't ask okay?  Just let me have my moment.

There's also an end credit scene you need to stick around for!  Fry and I were the only ones who wait because I said, "Kong had a post credits scene, this one's going to pull a Marvel and have one too, I just know it."  And BAM, I WAS RIGHT!  The employees at the theater confirmed it as they cleaned.  And it's kind of important because it sets up the next film and if they are going off what they showed in that scene, then the next one is going to be so freaking good!  The monster battle scenes were so good in this one, I can't wait to see what's in store for the next one.

Guys.
Guys!
GUYS!
So, I did a little research on the internet and apparently, the next movie is going to be a prequel, "Godzilla vs. Kong" which is slated for a March 2020 release!  I just found all this out and got really excited.  Wait, a prequel.  That really does mean there's a chance for more Tom Hiddleston!!  I just really love Tom Hiddleston, okay? 

You know what, I'm satisfied with my review.  I'm getting back into my own personal groove and it feels good.  I feel like me again.  And since, I've written a lot, I'm going to end things here.  If you're curious, it took me an hour and 45 minutes to write this, this includes checking IMDb and the internet for various sources, proofreading and editing. 

But I'm happy with how this has turned out.  I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I'm Cora Valentine, AKA TheCinemaChick and in my next blog...I have some big news to share with everyone.

I love you all, thank you for sticking with me all these years, through my highs and lows, my many hiatuses and all my self doubt.  Whenever I have someone asking what movie I'm doing next or when my next post will be, it makes me feel like I'm finally doing something right.  Film is my passion.  Thank you for sharing this with me.

In the immortal words of Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica: Take care of each other.  Love each other.  Love yourself.

See you guys next time.

Another Day on the Enterprise

 Hello my fellow insomniacs, I am the forever film addicted girl you know as TheCinemaChick. Now...spoilers. “Star Trek Into Darkness” does not come out until Friday, but I've already seen it. Yes, I walked out of the theater roughly an hour ago, feeling both overjoyed and furious. I'll get to both as I write. I predict this film will knock “Iron Man 3” out of the top slot at the box office. It's a very good movie, well written and has some great dialogue.

First and foremost, let me address something. I am sick and tired of having to say this, but people, stop using your cell phones during movies! Seriously, it should be common courtesy by now and yet, there are certain people who seem to think it's perfectly ok. I don't care if you think the movie is running long or getting boring. You are in a dark theater. The little light from your phone screen is a massive distraction. For instance, during the climax of a huge soon to be blockbuster is a bad time to start texting your friends. To the woman in front of me who was easily in her 40s, obviously you did not hear me ask you politely to stop, then yell at you and clearly you did not feel me kicking your chair.

Moral of the story: STOP USING YOUR PHONES DURING FILMS!!!

Now I can discuss the film. The first film was amazing. It was a good rendition of “Star Trek” so if you weren't familiar with the original series, “The Next Generation” or any variety of the show, the films were a good way to get into it. Now, from what I've heard, this movie takes place roughly six months after the first film in the rebooted franchise. I can buy that. JJ Abrams has also gone on record that this series takes place in an alternate time line so anything is possible. If you are planning to see this one, keep that in mind. You'll need to during a very important, very central scene. When you see it, you'll know.

I'm not a huge Star Trek fan. In fact, I didn't see the first Star Trek (by which I mean the reboot) until this past December. It hadn't interested me but I was pleasantly shocked to find that I loved it. Chris Pine made a great James Kirk while Zachary Quinto was perfect as Spock. The entire cast was well selected and I'm glad to say that the entire cast returns in the sequel. There are a few new faces, which I will get to in a moment, but for the most part, everyone should look familiar. Simon Pegg gets his role as Scotty expanded a little so he gets more screen time but sadly, Anton Yelchin's screen time is reduced. I have to admit, I like Chekov. He's just adorable.

If you've seen the trailers for this, you've noticed the addition of two people. Alice Eve joins as Carol Marcus, who doesn't add too much to the plot and Benedict Cumberbatch as the sinister John Harrison. Now, I had to ask who John Harrison was when I first heard this news. Fortunately for me, my father is a Trekkie.

Spoiler alert! It's Khan.

Yes, the man we all know and love as Sherlock is now an evil man hellbent on destruction. He makes a convincing villain. As I watched, I knew who he was and what would happen. Yet, as the film progressed, I became skeptical of myself. Maybe what I knew was wrong but right as I was convinced I didn't know anything, the movie proved me right. Cumberbatch as Khan is manipulative, deceitful and gets inside your mind. Things go one way then he just turns it all around and slaps you in the face with it. Everything about him was perfection. Seriously, there is one reason you need to see this. The second being the return of the cast.

Why was I overjoyed? Because even at a full two hours and twenty minutes, it's never boring. Even the slow moments have something to suck you in or have moments of great humor. Like, there's a scene where Kirk tells Chekov to change into a red shirt, everyone in the audience groaned. For those of you who don't know, in the original show, if you wore a red shirt, you were usually a goner. The joke is “Red shirts die first”. I won't tell you his fate, but trust me, other red shirts are not so fortunate. There are some great lines, including Dr. McCoy using a “Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a...” line.

“Into Darkness” was visually stunning and overall, amazing. I saw it high definition 3D, so the quality was astounding. Of course, I also saw it with a bunch of Trekkies, so they knew the jokes and they knew what to anticipate. There's also a Tribble. That is actually a huge plot point, but I won't say how or why. It is indeed there though.

Let's discuss why I'm furious. This is roughly based on “The Wrath of Khan” so if you've seen that, you know what to expect. The scene of Spock's death is one of the best in cinematic history. Well...just keep in mind this is in an alternate timeline, ok? That's all I can say about it. So...someone does angrily yell “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” granted, I can yell it better than they did. I wanted to enjoy it but I just can't get past it. This scene is canon in the Star Trek series and to do that to it? I was honestly wondering how the die hard fans in Star Trek shirts in front of me (yes, people can in costume) were so happy with the product. I know, the entire package is amazing but this one scene...why did it have to be like that?

This scene. (potential spoilers)

I honestly think this one is worth the splurge. See it in 3D. Even if you're not a huge fan, you'll find something to enjoy in this one. It's one of the best films I've seen in 2013 and so far, this has been a slow year for me. Not just because I haven't seen a lot of movies, but also because most of the ones I've seen have been mediocre to bad. So far, this is number one of my top movies of the year, which is sad. Then again, the summer movie season has had a slow start, so let's give it a little more time. Things will surely get better in the coming months, right?

Also, fellow Whovians, the father shown at the beginning of the film...look familiar?  Noel Clark AKA Mickey Smith is in this as well.  His appearance is brief but crucial.

Let's just say yes.

I'm TheCinemaChick and if you want to see Benedict Cumberbatch in tight pants, this is the movie for you.

I'll be at the Dallas Comic Con this Saturday! I'll be prowling around, meeting Nathan Fillion and doing all sorts of nerdy things.

A Comedic Host

 Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog full of useless information about films! I'm the ever effervescent critic TheCinemaChick and I watch a lot of movies because I can. Now that I'm back and...well...I'm the same as I was before...I've got a lot to catch up on. For instance, let's talk about the latest box office bomb, “The Host”.

I can honestly say this one shocked me. Because it's from Twilight author Stephanie Meyer, I thought the Twi-hards would come in flocks to see this one. To my surprise, this movie has done horrible. I'm not saying I wanted this movie to do well, but I certainly didn't want it to fail. I have read the book and while it's not the best thing I've ever read, the concept is interesting.

Once again, anything I say about the plot is not a spoiler because the book has been out for a while. “The Host” along with hundreds of other wonderful books are available for you right now at your local library.

Basically, it's sort of a post apocalyptic story where aliens have come and taken over the planet but there are a few humans left. And these aliens are called souls, which can be implanted into bodies. This story focuses on Wanderer, who has been around for a while and seen several different worlds. She comes to Earth and is implanted into Melanie. Now Melanie had been part of the resistance, but when she was caught, she tried to kill herself instead of becoming one of them. The Keepers use Wanderer to tap into Melanie's memories in order to find the other humans. However, to their surprise, Melanie didn't die. She resists at every opportunity. Finally, they escape the Keepers and rejoin the other humans, who happen to live in this huge underground cave in the middle of a desert.

Wanderer is taken in and basically held hostage even though Melanie comes through every so often to try and explain what happens. And this is about the time I started hating the book. It turns right back into Twilight. It's a four sided love triangle. Melanie and Wanderer share a body and Melanie's boyfriend still loves her but there comes a rival to his affections. Jared loves Melanie but Ian falls in love with Wanderer, who they affectionately call Wanda. Talk about falling in love with a girl for her personality. This drags on for a while, almost painstakingly slow. When Jamie, Melanie's little brother, has a severe infection, she risks exposing herself in order to save him.

Blah blah blah...attempt to kill her, she is accepted as a part of the community, she teaches them how to remove souls from bodies...I'm really summarizing now. This book is over six hundred pages, so bear with me. Basically, it ends like the Twilight series. Everyone is happy, everyone gets the person they love and there is perfect resolution to all conflict.

However, this story ends with Jared, Ian, Melanie and Pet (which for some reason is what the call the body Wanda is now in, since the host body was brain dead and technically Wanda saved it...don't ask) meeting another group of humans. This group happens to have a soul in their clan and they discover not all souls want to take over. Burns (the soul they meet at the end) says something about how he thought he was the only one who changed teams. He says “Strange world?” to which Pet replies “The strangest” and it ends.

There, I just saved you 619 pages and like two hours of time. Thank me later.

Now, the film isn't a bad adaptation. It's actually fairly faithful given that a lot of stuff is left out. Seriously they barely scratch the surface. For what its worth, it isn't bad, but it suffered from a lot of major issues. The biggest issue of all was the script. Whoever wrote it clearly did not care at all because it was just so mediocre and bland. There wasn't really anything memorable about it so basically, nothing stuck with me.

“The Host” is basically tofu. It's there but there's just no flavor.

What makes it worse is that it is unintentionally hilarious. This film is not a comedy. It's meant to be science fiction and action and drama with a touch of romance. What we actually get is a romance set in a cave with really bad dialogue. And sadly, about...80% of this movie is just dialogue. Most of the run time just has the characters talking or sitting somewhere. There isn't much action. It's not even visually appealing. Since most of the film is in this cave, it's dark. The eye gets bored, then suddenly its outside for like two minutes. The visual monotony just gets to be too much and I stopped caring.

You want to know how boring this movie is? I fell asleep. I drank a cherry icee and slept. I had to finish off Fry's coke icee in order to stay awake. Then, at the most inappropriate moments, I was cracking up. Like I said, this was not intended to be a comedy but it was so bad that it's funny. Basically, the acting is as good as Kristen Stewart. Sure, they're supposed to show emotion but its just not there. You start wondering if they are even capable of doing so.

If you're a huge Stephanie Meyer fan, you'll enjoy this. Otherwise, don't bother. It's Twilight in a different package. Expect to see this one hitting the DVD shelves sooner than planned.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I learned I do not like blood orange Greek yogurt.