The Legend of Hercules

 Hello everyone and welcome to the year 2014! I'm TheCinemaChick and I see a bunch of movies and talk about them. We're going on my third year of doing this, so let's make it a good one, eh? Anyway, tonight, Fry and I went to see the new Kellan Lutz flick “The Legend of Hercules”.


Well...he gave it a good shot.


Where to begin with this one...it's obviously about Hercules, played by Lutz. Honestly, I thought he'd at least be good to look at but that's not even the case. He's got so much makeup on that you can't even see his features. Okay, I will admit, his body is gorgeous. He is well built and he clearly works hard to look so pretty. I've seen him in other films and he is a great actor who can do some incredible fight scenes. This one...while its not the worst thing I've ever seen, it's not one of the best. “Hercules” should be an action fantasy film but it's really an unintentional comedy.


The acting is overdone, the action, if you can call it that, was less than stellar and there's just a long list of issues. First off, the movie was shot in Bulgaria, so I'm assuming there are some actors from the area. I take no issue with that but if you want to make a professional film, at least try to get their accents right. Some of them were English, a couple were Irish, I think the dude with cornrows (yes, you read that right) was Italian...it was a mess. It was hard to understand names, so about halfway through the movie, I finally realized that the main love interests name was Hebe (pronounced Hee-Bee).


Then there's the incredibly forced love triangle between Hebe, Hercules and whoever the brother is. Seriously, I don't know anyone's names. Let's call the brother Creeper. So Creeper wants Hebe but she's in love with Hercules The father, who's a real dick, sends Hercules off to Egypt to die but of course he lives. There is a lot of awkward sexual tension between them. The whole vibe between them was off and generally creepy. Then again, Creeper came off as the spoiled, entitled prince he's supposed to be. He's like Joffrey. If you get the reference, you get a cookie. But he's the stereotype spoiled prince. Her gets everything he wants and if he can't have the girl, no one can.


My main problems are the cinematography. Whoever did the special effects, CGI and camera work needs to be fired and reprimanded. I will admit, some of the effects were pretty badass. The thing is, the work with the green screen was incredibly poor. You knew when the background was fake because it looked like it was fake. Even certain sets were clearly artificial. Don't get me wrong, some of the scenes were amazing. Half the time it was incredible, the other half, almost like someone in film school made them. As if that wasn't bad enough, they made it clear this film was meant to be seen in 3D because there are scenes that don't make sense unless its in 3D. The effects just fall flat.


And now, lets talk about one thing that bugs the crap out of me. During certain sequences, the action would drastically slow down and the focus would become intense. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, think about the Zack Snyder movie “300”. They would be in battle then things would just slow down for no real reason then go back to normal speed. I'm sorry, I don't care how cool it looks, it detracts from the overall feel. Then mixing bad CGI with slowed down action sequences with terrible dialogue...are you trying to make this a comedy?


I honestly wanted to like this movie because I enjoy Greek mythology and Kellan Lutz is all sorts of hot. This just wasn't his finest hour. For a film that short (not quite 2 hours) it never really went anywhere. It was Hercules having daddy issues and fighting until he got home to face his father. It became it predictable about halfway through. You knew what would happen, who Hebe would end up with and how the battle would go. But even then, I could not take it seriously. The scenes were meant to be serious but he'd say the wrong things and it would end up being hilarious. There was one scene where Hercules said “We will take what they have ripped from out breasts” and my inner teenage boy came out. I was laughing much harder than I should have.


Honestly, don't bother with this one. It's jumbled, its confused and it doesn't quite know what it wants to be. “Hercules” isn't quite fantasy nor is it an action nor is it historical. It's another blockbuster doomed to fail on opening weekend. Do yourself a favor and wait until this one is out on DVD or Netflix.



I'm TheCinemaChick, apologizing for this short review but I am incredibly tired tonight.

2014: Looking Ahead

 Hey everyone, I'm known as TheCinemaChick and I am ready for 2014 to be a better year for films. As you know, 2013 didn't thrill me. So, let's look at some of the movies I plan to see this year and see what my predictions for them will be.

• Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (January 3)
  

Ok, I couldn't care less about this franchise, but after reading a review of it online, I have to see it for the sheer ridiculousness of it. **Spoilers** Apparently, time travel is now involved, which discredits the series entirely. If you have to reach for that, just quit. I really think this is just getting tired. Every movie is the same, different characters. The fact that they now have time travel and dimension jumping makes me want to see it for lulz.

• The Legend of Hercules (January 10)
  

First of all, I love Greek mythology and the story of Hercules is constantly messed up. This one looks like another generic movie but from what I've seen, it incorporates more of the supernatural aspect. I'm really hoping they bring in the gods more since those always seem to be left out entirely. Not sure why but it's always about the one character and nothing else or a love affair. Plus, Kellan Lutz in a leather man-skirt...doesn't hurt.

• 300: Rise of an Empire (March 7)
  
• Despite my utter dislike of Zack Snyder and his style, I did enjoy 300. From what I've seen, he is not at all involved with this film. It has a strong female lead, which might make things more interesting. This one will probably be just as bloody, just as long and just as draggy (by which I mean it seemed to go on forever) as the first one. Here's hoping it's better.
  

• The Muppets Most Wanted (March 21)
  
• Um, hello! The last movie was a complete success and it was loaded with good, clean humor. There were cameos galore which added a little something special to it. So far, I know that Tine Fey, Ricky Gervais and Tom Hiddleston will be in it. Oh, and can we talk about the trailer for a second? It shoes Hiddleston breaking a chain off his neck. Because I have a bit of a crush on him, I'm dying to know the context around it. But the Muppets are a mainstay from my childhood so seeing them come back to the big screen just make me incredibly happy.
  
  

• Captain America: The Winter Soldier (April 4)
  
• Try as he might, Chris Evans could not save the first film. It was long and very dry. His performance in The Avengers was a bit better, but will someone please get Captain America a sense of humor? He takes everything way too seriously and apparently doesn't know he has no earpiece when he contacts his allies. Watch The Avengers again and you'll see what I mean. Everyone else has Bluetooth looking things and he doesn't but is somehow still able to communicate with everyone. And we all know Bucky died in the first film but...he's back. I can't and won't say how or why. Why? Spoilers.
  
  

• Godzilla (May 16)
  
• Who doesn't love a good movie with a giant lizard wreaking havoc on a city? While I prefer the old claymation versions, the newer ones have their benefits. This one seems promising and the CGI helps the monster look even more terrifying. I'm game.
  
  

• X-Men: Days of Future Past (May23)
  
• Here we have the long awaited sequel to First Class. This one also involved time travel but in the Marvel Universe...it's like Doctor Who. Don't apply logic. In the comics, everyone dies, is resurrected, travels in space, meets aliens, goes to parallel dimensions...it's just a mess. If you've seen the end credit scene from The Wolverine, you know what this one will have. That's right, we will finally get to see Trask and his Sentinels. Could this be the end of out beloved mutants? I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we? Though, we won't get to see much of Anna Paquin as Rogue, seeing as her role was severely reduced.
  
  

• Maleficent (May 30)
  
• Is this the first movie Disney has made that focuses on the villain? After so many years of bubbly, beautiful princesses, we finally get a film about a witch. While I don't like Angelina Jolie, I honestly cannot wait to see this one. It's dark, it's magic and its bound to have a good creepy factor.
  
  

• The Hobbit: There and Back Again
  
• Yeah, this one was bound to be on my list. I love the book and I'm a huge fan of Tolkien. The first two movies have been great, though they do have their faults, as all films do. To me, the cast is superb and Peter Jackson is the only man who could ever adapt this to celluloid. I know I'm not the only who hates hates having to wait an entire year for each movie.
  

What movies are you guys looking forward to? Do you think I should have added more movies to this list? Maybe less movies? Let me know what you think. I'm always open for suggestions so let me hear them! I promise I'm not mean.



I'm TheCinemaChick and my birthday is coming up.



**All videos from youtube, no copyright infringement or plagiarism intended**

Best of 2013, According to Me!

 Greetings my fellow movie goers! I'm the girl behind the blog, you know me as TheCinemaChick and we all know I am obsessed with films. 2013 wasn't a great year in movies, since I tended to feel either apathetic towards or just meh. Very few films blew me away or made me excited so this list was a bit harder to make. Plus, I just didn't see that many films. My grand total, I think was forty five. And yes, I do keep a list of what movies I see and how many times I saw them. Instead of my usual “this was my top fave” thing, this list is just going to be in no particular order. It's just a bunch of movies I loved that I recommend to others.


With that said, lets jump right into it, shall we?

Honorable mentions:  Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, The Fifth Estate (I have a love/hate relationship with it), Oz: The Great and Powerful


If you haven't seen any of these movies, I apologize. There be spoilers ahead.

• 1. The Wolverine.
  
• Overall, I did not care for it. The movie was long and it felt long. The things I absolutely loved about it were the sense of continuation. It doesn't skip the previous films and makes allusions to its predecessors. While it could be a standalone film, it's not because of the long history Logan has. Another amazing detail that made me happy was knowing they pretty much stuck to the comic book plot. There were elements that seemed to come straight from the pages but some of it was brand new. The newer content actually did not detract from the overall feel but for me, the lack of action and the length were a big drawback.
  
  
• Despicable Me 2
  
• Who doesn't like those minions? It also showed that different families (in this case, single parent with adopted children) can be happy and thrive. It also has great comedy that parents and children both can enjoy. Again, its the minions. The scene where they were all partying and having ice cream was adorable, then the one minion with the lights and kept saying “bee-do! Bee-do!” was memorable. My nieces and nephews love it which makes it even better in my eyes because lately, it seems like there is nothing family friendly in the theaters. And they movies that are come few and far between. Plus, Fry took me to see this on my mother's birthday, a day that I just couldn't be alone. I know Mom would have loved it too and I still miss her so much.
  
  
• Mud
  
• Honestly, I wish this one had been more successful. While it wasn't the most exciting thing out there nor did it have some epic story, it was realistic. It showed a young boy learning the hardships of life while trying to do the right thing. He sees how love is both wonderful and painful at the same time. He meets Mud, played beautifully by Matthew McConaughey, the man who teaches him valuable lessons that his parents forget to tell him. It's about friendship, trust, first loves, lost loves and letting go of things even though you don't want to.
  
  
• Frozen
  
• This one was cute with tons of songs that will get stuck in your head. The characters were great, even if they didn't really experience any change whatsoever. It was a delightful tale about one sister willing to do everything for her sister when things go wrong. For once, our heroine, in this case, Anna, didn't need a man to save her. She saved the day by choosing family of the man. To me, this is a positive message for younger girls, one I have seen since Brave. I would like to see more strong female leads like Anna and Merida in animated films.
  

• Star Trek Into Darkness
  
• I'll admit, I had a little trouble accepting this one at first. The whole parallel universe thing got to me. Seeing Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan didn't sit well. I ended up seeing it a second time when I realized, “This is pretty good.” Then I saw it a third time, because it came out close to my dad's birthday. You know, since we no longer have MovieMomma with us, let's call my dad DigitalDad. That sounds good. Anyway, Star Trek is his fandom, so after he explained some things to me, I understood the movie even more. My favorite parts had to be the action sequence between Khan and Spock, the “final” interaction between Kirk and Spock and basically anything involving Dr. McCoy. Seriously, Bones has some sass.
  

• Doctor Who: Day of the Doctor
  
• I know, I know, technically this wasn't a movie but a special presentation on the BBC, but I saw it in a movie theater, therefore it counts as a movie. Everyone knows I am a Whovian so to me, this was perfection. It tied together some loose ends, it explained some of the older jokes and come on! Matt Smith, David Tennant and John Hurt had amazing chemistry. They just worked so well on screen, bickering like brothers. Though technically, they're the same man...never apply logic to Who. Anyone who saw this knows how epic the end of it was. The scene were they flashed little snippets of previous Doctors, from Hartnell to present was beautiful. And I loved it when the counselor said “No sir, all thirteen” and we got that brief shot of the next Doctor, Peter Capaldi's eyes. That final shot with all the incarnations standing together? Yeah, safe to say I was in tears because it was so damn perfect.
  

• This Is The End
  
• I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard during a movie. It's a funny post Apocalyptic comedy which hasn't been done very often. Yes, a lot of the humor is extremely crass and a lot of people will be offended by it. There are a lot of references to drugs, alcohol, sex, masturbation and demons. Then there's the devil...if you've seen it, you know what that was a bit shocking. But some of the best moments were the ones you'd never expect to see. The final scene was great, having some of the comedians who'd been raptured dancing to the Backstreet Boys...with the actual Backstreet Boys. Also, if you've seen it, you know what saying “Channing Tatum” is worth cracking up over.
  

• Thor: The Dark World
  
• First off, no I don't like this purely because of Loki. I do not see movies just because “Like, OMG, he's totally hot!” For me, I needed questions answered. I still would like to know how the bridge was repaired but I digress. While the movie does feel too long, there is a lot of humor mixed with the overall urgent feel. Tom Hiddleston once again dazzles (yes, I said dazzles, get over it) as the god of mischief. Loki brings the humor but he also has moments where he's utterly pathetic. I don't mean that in a negative way. Look at him when he takes down his illusions for Thor after learning the Frigga is dead. He's devastated! He even saves Jane for Thor. While everyone else seems to remain a static character, Loki, along with Eric Selvig and Darcy, seem to be the only dynamic ones. Once again, I still can't stand Jane Foster, but Loki makes up for that.
  

• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
  
• I hated the run time of nearly three hours. I loved one thing about this film that I applauded from the last one: the faithfulness to the book. It's still one of the best adaptations I have ever seen. Jennifer Lawrence captures every emotion wonderfully, even if Katniss does seem wooden most of the time. Then there's Jena Malone as Johanna Mason, who steals every scene she's in. Seriously, if she had been more prominent in the film, she would have stoeln that too. Sam Claflin is perfect as Finnick Odair, the cocky, swaggering Tribute from Distrct Four. My heart broke when Mags, the female Tribute from the same District, chose to sacrifice herself for the others. The other characters, Wiress, Beetee, Enobaria...all captured perfectly. The arena came to life just as I had pictured it. The ending was a little weak for me. That close up on her face as she goes through the emotions...not the best. I would have loved to have seen Peeta looking scared while in the hands of the corrupt Capitol members, namely President Snow, who is absolutely villainous despite being in the background for the most part. I'm not thrilled that the final movie, Mockingjay, will be split into two parts, I still look forward to it because we will finally get to see District Thirteen. Having read the book and knowing what will happen, I can say this. If you get emotionally involved in movies like I do (I'm the girl who cried when Rue died), be sure to pack some tissues. You're going to need them.
  

• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  
• Come on, you all knew this one would be on there. This movie suffers from the same problem every Peter Jackson film has. Nothing happens, there's a lot of walking then everything happens at the end of a near 3 hour film. To be fair, there's far more interesting things in this one than in the first installment. We get to meet Beorn, the man who can turn into a bear, we go to Mirkwood to meet Thranduil, the king and father of Legolas. We also get to meet Tauriel, who seemed unnecessary to me. I get that Jackson wants to add in more female characters since the book has none. Maybe it has some really minor ones...I haven't read it in years. It's also in the high frame rate, which gives me a slight headache. Dol Goldur and the Necromancer are incredible and hello, there's Smaug! Benedict Cumberbatch did the motion capture for the dragon, along with the voice. If you know what his voice sounds like, you too will find this dragon to be sexy. There's something about the way he slinks around and speaks slowly, as if he's teasing Bilbo the whole time. Orlando Bloom, Lee Pace (who is younger than Orlando but still plays his father) and Evangeline Lilly are refreshing characters that bring another layer of depth to the film. I recommend this one to anybody who has a love of J.R.R. Tolkien. It's worth the time and money and the ending is an amazing cliffhanger. I know I, along with Fry, are waiting impatiently to see the conclusion of the series next year when There and Back Again hits theaters.
  

So there you go guys, ten movies you need to see or rent or catch on Netflix. If you watch it in some illegal manner, that's none of my business. I'm looking forward to being a better critic in 2014 and making sure I stay on top of things so that I don’t slack off like I did this year. I am going to school once again, so I will be busy. Perhaps I'll do a list of films I'm dying to see in the new year. Maybe I won't. I don't know yet.


I'm TheCinemaChick and Fry and I will be seeing Saving Mr. Banks tonight.



Happy New Year everyone. Be safe, be happy and be yourself.

Trailer Trash: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

 What is up everyone? It's almost time for Christmas so here is my early gift to you. I'm TheCinemaChick, joining forces once again with the ever bubbly Kit Kat. We're back for another installment of Trailer Trash, where we look at a trailer for an upcoming film and just go “What the hell is this?” Tonight's pick is a good one. As we all know, January isn't exactly the best month for horror movies. The last one “The Devil Inside” was such a disappointment, it's been dubbed one of the worst films of all time because the ending was like a giant middle finger to the entire audience. So, does “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” stand a better chance? Well, let's look at the trailer and see what's scary as hell and what makes us groan. Kit Kat, say hello since it's been too long since your last visit.


Hello all you movie lovers and haters. I’m Kit Kat and I’m back for another lovely round of Trailer Trash. While I haven’t personally seen all of the other Paranormal Activity Movies, just seeing the trailers didn’t get my hopes up for a decent movie. And here we are again with their FIFTH installment… Besides the Fast and Furious franchise…I don’t remember another series with five movies.


Other than Harry Potter, Indian Jones I think, James Bond...nope. The thing is, the whole “found footage” genre has been slowly dying for years but for some reason, this franchise will not die. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw a sixth or seventh installment from them. Here's my main issue with the films. We know it started with Katie and Kristie. With each film, we have gotten father and farther away from them. In this trailer, they are briefly mention and one of them is a stepmother. I'm guessing this means the daughter from the second film finally returns since she apparently wasn't home when her parents were killed and her brother taken. I'm not sure how I even remember that off the top of my head.


Yes, those are the others. Indiana Jones being the least successful of the most successful I do believe. But the fact that they are still trying to make a good horror movie for this franchise is a little…disturbing. Many by now would have gotten the point and stopped the insanity. From an outside point of view, the movies all seem to blur together because they all look similar.


My main issue is, how are these all connected and will there ever be an end? I just don't understand how this demon can affect so many people when the main characters are not even present anymore. Ok, yes Katie was in the fourth one briefly but that's not much. There's also too many characters overall. Most of them are totally irrelevant to the plot anyway. So now we're apparently in the south side of Los Angeles, with some Hispanic kids. I have no freaking clue what this has to do with anything I have seen before and I've seen all the films to date.


And I’ll say what I thought after first seeing this trailer: is this a horror movie or a live action Grand Theft Auto? I mean really. The music, the visuals. I couldn’t help but to think that they are trying to do way to much on the establishing of our location. Sure, it’s LA but we know it’s a horror movie franchise. That’s the point of going to see this movie. Not for feeling like we are LA. Sure we need to feel for the characters but I don’t know how well I’d feel for some guy who seems to party all the time and that he thinks a baseball bat will protect him from gangs.


What bothers me is that I know this will follow the formula of its predecessors, nothing for the first 3 acts, then all the action and horror will take place in the final act, followed by some title cards telling us this is still being investigated or something. The whole series is getting a bit stale, so honestly, they need to liven things up a bit. Do something different. Build suspense, stop relying on so many jump scares and for the love of Matthew Gray Gubler, give us an ending to the story, not a continuation! Seriously, I want to know how this thing ends. What's with the demon and what's going on with the sudden shift in location? There is no sense in continuity here. The films are all highly disjointed but at least the first three sort of worked as a trio. Everything else is just confusing and unneeded.


*stares off into the distance* ah…Matthew. *ahem* And I completely agree. If you are going to do a shift in location then you need you let the audience know why but not at the expense of the current movie. I fear the same that this movie is going to try and establish itself in the timeline and then half way through you will finally get the new movie with them prodding you to keep you realizing it’s connection to the others. Movies like that never work because they are trying way too hard and that’s what’s happening here. By now they are either desperate or hoping fifth time is a charm to make some money. I’m sure some people will go to see it for mindless entertainment but maybe this time someone will get the hint to rethink doing another one.


To be fair, we are basing everything we are saying solely on what we've seen from the trailer. I admit, the creepy factor is indeed there. There are several things that I find unsettling and downright disturbing. There are a few things where I just go “What??” or “I don't want to know...but now I need to know.” This does seem to have other horror elements worked in besides demonic possession. I did notice the religious aspect being introduced, so here's hoping they don't offend the entire Catholic church with this. Then there's a scene with the two creepy girls saying “He'll see you now”. What the actual hell?


I agree there are some creepy aspects to the trailer. The parts that get me are when he is standing looking in the mirror and pulling the string or whatever out of his eye. *shudders* Get’s my skin crawling. But the jump scare of seeing the guy down the road and the kids not being able to get out of the car. He disappears and suddenly he’s in the window and breaks through the window. Those moments get my adrenaline going like a horror movie should. If they do work those horror aspects in well with the rest of the movie then maybe it might not be as bad as we think it will. Besides, it’s all ready been proven that two creepy girls talking together are creepy.


I have a little big of hope that this one might be an improvement over the previous four. It seems to be going in a different direction and hopefully it won't be the formulaic mess it has been. There seems to be some new things introduced so its possible that it won't completely suck. We can only hope that this is true. Knowing my luck, I'll be dragged to see it. If I'm lucky, I'll get stuck next to a cute guy so when I get “scared” I can grab him. *crosses fingers* Please let it be Tom Hiddleston.


Well, I’m broke and don’t have the money to see this one. Besides, I’m saving my money to see Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. I like me some hot dwarves and elves over possibly bad horror movies anyday.


Yeah, you say that but wait until you see Smaug. That is one sexy dragon, mainly because he has the voice of Benedict Cumberbatch. That's all I really have to say about the new Paranormal Activity film coming out in January. I hope this is the final installment honestly. I'm looking forward to 2014 and the hundreds of new films coming out, waiting for me to critique.


And with any luck, we might have another bad movie to review for Bad Movie Bonanza. Knowing movies as we have, there will always be another bad movie to rant about. Oh the fond memories. And that’s all I have to say about the movie either. No high hopes but maybe some very small ones.


Well Kit Kat, I believe it's time to sign off. Here's to the holidays, the New Year and to the movies that will be released, both good and bad. Anything to add?

Just that I hope to get back to my reviewing of books very soon. The holidays are always hectic but I hope to get at least one review done before the year is out and maybe even a video for my video roulette. Only time will tell. Anyway, I’m Kit Kat and I love me some trailer trash.

I'm TheCinemaChick, wishing everyone a happy and safe holiday.  My Best of 2013 list is coming, so stay tuned.

Top Ten Worst of '13

 Hey guys, what is up? I'm the one and only female film critic called TheCinemaChick. I know, I know, I still haven't exactly gotten back into my groove but finals are over and I have a one month break before I resume classes. So let's get to it.

It's my favorite time of year, the time when I pick my top ten worst films and my top ten best films of the year. Usually I would go with the same number as the year, like Top 13 of 13, but since I've been slacking, I haven't seen that many films. This year, I only saw 44, which is a huge decrease from my previous years. My current record was close to 80, but at the time I wasn't going to school. So, let's hope that in 2014 I get in the game and prove certain people (the ones who said I wasn't good enough to join their film fellowship) that I'm a damn good cinephile.

So, without further ado, let's discuss the movies I hated the most this year. As usual, my number ten worst film would be one I hated but I could sit through again. If it makes number one, then I'd rather be stuck eating...I don't know...ghost chilis for a day.

(I apologize for the odd formatting.  I'm technologically challenged.)

Honorable Mentions: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Jack the Giant Slayer and The Fifth Estate.

10. Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters

I love this series. I've read the first four books and someday I'll get around to reading the fifth one. The first one was done rather well. The second one...not so much. There was a lot of material left out and it just didn't capture the same magic as “The Lightening Thief” did. The same main actors return, which I appreciated. Some new faces show up as well, such as Tyson the cyclops and Clarisse from the Area cabin. The dialogue was weak, the action scenes weren't that interesting and the ending fell flat. However, because I enjoy the series, I'd watch it again

9. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
   I honestly don't know what to say about this one. It had the potential to be awesome and I like the premise. To be fair, I've also only read the first half of the first book. Then the whole “Clary and Jace might be siblings” thing turned me off. I would not mind watching it again because it does have Aidan Turner as a sexy (Irish?) werewolf. Also, the whole movie is just so bad its funny. I laughed way more than I should have but it was worth it. Watch this one for laughs.

8. The Lone Ranger
Honestly, this one wasn't so bad in my opinion. However, it dragged far too long and I absolutely loathed the framing device. The story within a story thing got on my nerves. The plot would be going along just fine, then it would be abruptly interrupted to go back to the older Tonto and the small boy. I found it very distracting to the point where I got sick of it. In general, the pacing was slow, the jokes were terrible and the plot was basically paper thin. Johnny Depp really needs to reconsider the roles he chooses in the future. His recent projects have not been doing so well. Let's not discuss “Dark Shadows”.

7. Iron Man 3
Don't get me wrong. In my eyes, Marvel and Stan Lee can do no wrong. Most people hated “Iron Man 2” but I loved it. The third one...Tony Stark was whiny, annoying and to me, he just gave up in the end. Then there are the subplots that get brought in and ignored halfway through. A lot of the film was forgettable and the villain was mediocre. Also, I don't like Pepper Pots. She's useless, then all of a sudden, she has awesome fire powers and saves the day. Really Iron Man? You gave up everything for a girl? I mean, I know Thor had some major issues with Jane but that's one hell of a long distance relationship. And, as much as I don't like Pepper, I believe she can do better than Tony Stark.

6. Now You See Me

I don't like Jesse Eisenberg. The plot couldn't decide if it was about kids doing magic, exposing magic, bank robbers or a love story. Instead, it chose to do all of that, making it highly jumbled and somewhat boring. And the ending...how did they escape and not get arrested? Things just didn't add up. The ending had a twist that I did expect but it was still cool to see.

5.Man of Steel

This one wasn't all that bad. I'm not a fan of Superman to begin with and I can't stand Zack Snyder since he always does this comic book matte background thing. It felt far too long to me and the origin took up about a third of it. Can we talk about the overload of phallic symbols in there? Seriously, look when Zod and his crew are exiled. Tell those don't look like...well, you know. Then Russell Crowe NEVER goes away. He dies in the first fifteen minutes but he keeps coming back. I know he's like a hologram or something, but now he's an omnipotent hologram who knows everything about the enemy. He becomes convenient, almost to where there was no conflict because Crowe has everything already solved. I couldn't get emotionally invested in the characters and lost interest halfway through. It wasn't worth the ticket price.

4.The Purge

Honestly, the concept was good. What would you do if you had 24 hours to do whatever you wanted? It had potential. Then it was just a drawn out game of cat and mouse. Most of the characters were flat and did nothing for me, except for the Polite Man. He has no name but he I s very polite, courteous and smiles sweetly as he threatens to break into a house and kill everyone because they are hiding someone. His friends are all in suits and the women wear flowy white dresses. They all have creepy masks on. Those moments were a little terrifying. I just didn't care for the amount of violence, especially at the end. Plus, the ending was made painfully obvious at the very beginning. I'd watch it again, but only for the Polite Man.

3. The Host

Stephanie Meyer, aliens that can take over your body and a really awkward love triangle with four people. I just explained a 700+ page book and saved you about 2 hours.

2. Pacific Rim

I just didn't get it. The aliens were inside the Earth the whole time? Visually it was outstanding and it's worth seeing, I just did not know what I was watching. The background wasn't explained well enough so I was lost the whole time. Maybe if someone explained it to me I'd like it more but for now, I just don't know why Godzilla had so many clones in the Earth's core or why the giant robots from Power Rangers had to fight them. So...yeah. I don't get it.

1. Riddick

Where do I begin with this one? I think its awesome that Vin Diesel funded this film with his own money and all, but it was horrible. Nothing made sense, it had almost nothing to do with its previous films and it was almost like a glorification of Diesel himself. This movie is a Vin Diesel movie starring Vin Diesel. There is gratuitous nudity that doesn't need to be there, extremely foul language and a good portion of violence. Almost nothing happens and it's mostly another cat and mouse thing. I liked “Pitch Black” and the movies prior to this one. I j ust could not get into this one. It focused way too much on Riddick to the point where I hoped someone killed him because I was sick of seeing him. And when they killed his dog...that's when I lost all interest. Personally, if I were Karl Urban, I'd want my name take off and just be an uncredited cameo. He does absolutely nothing, barely has any dialogue, then is never seen or heard from ever again. To top it off, it has a happy ending. Stick to the “Fast and Furious” franchise.

Speaking of the “Fast and Furious” franchise...I am deeply saddened by the sudden and unexpected loss of Paul Walker. He was a very talented actor and an amazing person. There were many charities he supported and he didn't care for all the things many celebrities do. He lived a low key life. Paul Walked will never be forgotten, thanks to his memorable films, his generous spirit and for being a philanthropist.

I'm TheCinemaChick and Fry and I are going to see “The Desolation of Smaug” tomorrow...with a boy!

Loki is my King

 Hey guys, I'm the ever Marvel loving girl, TheCinemaChick! If you don't know, Thor: The Dark World has finally come to theaters and fans are flocking to it. I have seen it as well, on Thursday when it was completely empty. Seriously, there was only about thirteen of us in there. I'm guessing early showings are losing steam since the last few have been utter disappointments to me. At the same time, I don't mind because even though I'm totally against distractions during a movie, I'm the jerk who never shuts up. Seriously, I notice things that I feel should be pointed out so I'm going to point them out.


I have to admit that last night, my Marvel knowledge was put to shame but that's another story for another time.


And yes, I am a week late in writing and posting this, but my sincerest apologies! I had 2 exams and 2 quizzes last week so I had to spend all my time studying so I wouldn't fail miserably. I didn't exactly do well but I didn't do horrible.


Ah, enough about my scholastic life. You're here to discuss the latest installment of Thor! I can say this right off the bat, this movie is not about Thor. This is all about that mischievous, conniving and all around, somehow loveable Loki. While he is a fairly minor character and doesn't get much screen time, he steals the entire movie. When he is present, he commands presence. You focus on him and only him. That isn't to say Thor, Jane, Odin, Frigga and Darcy are just standing around idle, but you have to admit, Tom Hiddleston brings a great charisma to the character.


I don't want to spoil this movie because it truly is worth watching. However, I didn't care for it as a whole. There were parts of it that dragged for me and there was far too much...I don't know how to say this...there were tons of flat characters. I'm sorry but Thor, not Chris Hemsworth, has absolutely no personality. He's just some big, hulking Norse god who is moping over a girl. You are Thor! He's supposed to be a badass, not some emo! Then there's Jane, who has spent the last, roughly 2 years I want to say, looking for a way to get Thor back. Seriously? You're a physicist!


I make no secret of my dislike for Jane Foster. She's about as exciting a paper towel. I'm also not a huge fan of Natalie Portman but I think she is a decent actress. This just isn't her strong suit. In “The Dark World”, she is what we like to call a Mary Sue. She's borderline useless. She has a few times where she seems like she could be useful but then she does something stupid. Her best moments come at the end during the big battle with Malekith. Before that, I don't care about her. Darcy is far more interesting, animated and she has a wicked sense of humor. I would much rather hang out with Kat Dennings.


Let's talk about the evil guy for a moment. I freaking love Christopher Eccleston. I make no secret of that. He is wonderful as Malekith and he is delightfully sinister. He's unrecognizable in full makeup but his voice is obvious. I would have loved to see more of him but his screen time is limited so it can focus more on Thor and his relationship with Jane.


Oh, can I point out how stupid Jane is? I'm not bashing her but come on! She gets trapped in a pocket universe and sees a strange object that doesn't make sense. The normal reaction would be to find a way out and get to safety. Nope. She touches the thing and becomes infected with the Aether. Seriously. I can't help but think how dumb that is. You never touch the creepy object when lost in a strange place. You don't know where that's been or who's touched it! That's something we learn as kids. Don't touch strange objects. If she hadn't touched it, she wouldn't have awakened Malekith, pit the universe in danger and oh yes...oh wait, I can't say that one. That would be a spoiler. But trust me, it's a huge surprise. I sure didn't see that one coming.


Sorry. I just really don't like Jane. The movie is fairly straight forward. This happens, which causes a chain reaction. A lot of things are shown in the trailers or if you are internet savvy, you've seen a lot of things on Pintrest, Facebook and Tumblr. By the way, whoever posted the end of the movie on Tumblr, shame on you! How dare you ruin the movie for the rest of us? And no, I did not seek out spoilers. I enjoy that site because there are loads of pages dedicated to different fandoms, like Tom Hiddleston, Supernatural, Doctor Who and lots and lots of cat pictures. Beware those sites. Spoilers ahead. Browse at your own risk.


The film felt very long to me, too long honestly. Like I said, the scenes with Loki are the best because he brings sass. There is no other way to put it. He is sarcastic and cracking jokes the whole time until...well, I can't say. Trust me, I want to say what happens but I do not believe in spoilers. Trust me, I'm going to put myself through hell this coming weekend with the Doctor Who special. I have to wait two extra days until I see it. I know...hell.


Also, let's discuss plot holes. In the first film, Thor destroys the Rainbow Bridge, making it impossible for him to go back to Earth. In “Avengers”, Loki implies that Odin used dark magic to get him there. Well...now the bridge is fixed. How did this happen? How do you fix a mythical bridge like that? Seriously, this is something that has bothered me for a while. While we're given an amazing description of Malekith and the Aether and the Dark Elves, almost nothing else gets a decent explanation. It's like, Eric Selvig's storyline. How did that come about? Why does Darcy have an assistant? Where did he come from and what is his major? I hate movies that just bring things up then never tell us why this happens. It's like we just have to accept what happens.


Basically, I can see why people are flocking to the theater to see this. It has some great action, the story is mostly solid and the characters are memorable. While Odin isn't at his best and Frigga...WHY?? I can't tell you what happens but it's almost like Joss Whedon planned this movie. If you don't understand, Whedon likes to kill characters. Ok, I just spoiled it for you. She dies. However, she dies in a badass way. The post credit scenes are mediocre, but the second isn't worth sticking around for. I know, I know, it's a Marvel movie therefore you have to by unspoken obligation to stay.


The ending was a twist I did not see coming and usually I can predict these movies. However, ir feels like a transition film. It's like, we needed to see what Thor was doing between his first movie and the second Avengers movie. Apparently, he becomes a mopey, mildly whiny man with the hots for a mortal woman. Sounds like a typical romantic comedy, only with no comedy. That's why Loki becomes a necessity for this franchise. He is bringing in the masses. Well, Tom Hiddleston has skyrocketed to stardom because of these movies. He's not really even in the first half of the film but he dominates the screen when he's there. He brings dimension to the wooden acting around him.


There are people actually petitioning to get Loki his own film and I welcome that idea. I would like to see what happened to him between “Thor” and “The Avengers”. However, if its purely a fangirl film, where its made solely to appeal to the audience because of a name, I won't see it. If a Loki film does happen, it needs a strong plot with equally strong actors.


I would say if you are going to see “Thor: The Dark World” skip the 3D. Once again, it adds absolutely nothing to the overall effect. You aren't missing anything but seeing it in 2D. I saw it in XD 3D which honestly, was a waste of money for me. Then again, I went to a triple feature so I paid a little more than the average ticket price.


Guys, I am so sorry that I have not been as active this year. I got burned out a little for some reason and for a few months, I had no desire to review. I never meant to abandon this thing entirely but I plan to rebound. I will be a better CinemaChick and I will do my best to bring you more snarky commentary on the new releases. I also plan to resume “Bad Movie Bonanza” and “Trailer Trash” with Kit Kat in the near future. I will also take another look into my past to pick up the “Back to Basics” series. I have also wanted to look at some old school Disney films and the ones you may not have seen or even heard of. I have a lot of ideas in mind so there's a lot to look forward to in the end of the year and into 2014.


For those who have stuck with me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To any potential new fans, welcome to the fold.



I'm TheCinemaChick and I am actually in class at this very moment.

The Fifth Estate

 Hello everyone, I'm the critic you love to hate (possibly) or missed in the past few months. People call me TheCinemaChick and I love movies. Now, I know I have not been around for a while, but I needed some time off. I will not explain what led to me needing this break as it is personal and my own business. This is not to sound rude, it's just that it's not a great thing and I really just don't want to discuss it with anyone.


Well, I have returned with a decent film to discuss. I know people will be flocking to the theaters to see either “Gravity”, which I hear is very intense, and “Captain Philips” which is based on a true story about a man whose boat was hijacked by Somalian pirates. While I'm sure both are excellent in their own right, I chose to see a movie that not many people were drawn towards. I decided to check out “The Fifth Estate”, starring Benedict Cumberbatch.


For those who do not know, this is a “semi autobiographical” film about the founder of WikiLeaks, the website that leaked important information online. I say “semi autobiographical” because I do not know how truthful this is. The sources always remained anonymous, but Julian Assange, the man behind the screen, chose to publish some very controversial military cables that endangered many lives. The files were classified, leaked by a mentally unstable man (Bradley Manning at the time, now Chelsea Manning) who was at the time involved in the military. Several newspapers also published this information, however, they chose to redact it. For those who don't know, redact is just a fancy way to say it was revised. The newspapers chose not to release names so the people would be safe, but Assange did not change the names.


Now, I have chosen not to investigate Julian Assange or his life because I believe that would create a bias between my personal opinions and the film itself. Politics and film can mix, as there are plenty movies like that out there. However, I believe that my own personal views should not distract me from the content of a film. I have to put what I feel aside. Needless to say, I found “The Fifth Estate to be quite fascinating. This information was completely new to me. I have never used WikiLeaks personally and I did not know who Julian Assange even was until this film.


While most of the focus is on Assange, there is someone else I should mention. He has a partner, Daniel who helps him get everything going in the beginning. Daniel is a good man, who just wants to make the world a better place. He believes in Julian's cause almost blindly, so he follows. As the film goes on, he realizes that his work has not been entirely honest. People have died because of the things that were posted online, which makes him have second thoughts. The dividing moment comes when Julian refuses to redact the military documents. Daniel chooses to sabotage Julian so that they can help more people. However, the information is released anyway.


To be honest, the content and dialogue didn't exactly thrill me, which is ironic since this is being billed as a thriller. At best, I would call it a cyber drama. The main focus is on the information technology, along with privacy and how much is too much. It also shows how power, when not shared equally, can cause a kingdom to crumble. One brilliant moment in the film comes when there is a confrontation between Julian and Daniel and Julian suspends Daniel on the spot. It becomes incredibly clear to both the character and the audience that ego has become a huge problem in the relationship. Ties are severed and Assange goes on.


Overall, I was not entirely impressed with “The Fifth Estate”. The dialogue did not fare well and there were times when it was nothing but long monologues from Julian about his past or his brilliance; granted, they did provide an insight to his mindset. As the film progresses, Daniel practically becomes a background character until the climax. Julian begins dominating the plot and screen. The longer this goes on, the more crazed, almost obsessed he becomes with uncovering the truth. At the end, there is a printed epilogue that explains what happened to Assange: from his sexual misconduct charges to his political asylum in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. There are also several scenes of Cumberbatch reenacting actual interviews from Assange. I had not known about these interviews and thought they were part of the script. The final ten minutes of “The Fifth Estate” were cinematic perfection with the mixing of text and dialogue.


Another misstep is the overuse of montages and cut aways. Many of the montages were very rapid and did not give me a chance to understand what I was supposed to be seeing. For instance, the opening credits double as a history in communication. It starts with hieroglyphs, working its way to the printed word to typewriters to modern email. However, it all goes so fast that there are several things missed. If you were not paying close attention, like me, it was easy to miss something. Another issue came when Julian and Daniel would be working together and there were bits of programming code or an online chat floating on screen, blocking the actor's face. It didn't seem necessary at all. We, the audience, already know what's going on, so why does it need to be projected like that? Also, there would be scenes where Daniel and Julian would be in a nonexistent office and I did not understand the relevance of this until later in the film. It is a metaphor for Wikileaks itself.


While the visuals and overall feel did not impress me, I will say this: the two main actors, Daniel Buhr and Benedict Cumberbatch were flawless. Their acting was highly impressive to say the least. As I said, I chose not to research Julian Assange, but I did watch a brief clip of an interview he did, just to hear his voice and see what he looks like. Cumberbatch copied the accent and slight lips and it truly sounded identical to Assange. The two men even look similar. Daniel Buhr is an emotional driving force. He shows wonderful emotions, ranging the gambit from pure joy to utter frustration. There was no need to say how he felt as every change in emotion was apparent on his face. Sadly, none of the other characters were as memorable, even though there were some great names involved in the movie. David Thewlis (The Harry Potter series) and Peter Capaldi (Torchwood) worked with the British newspaper but are not very noticeable. Thewlis gets a decent amount of screen time but Capaldi barely gets any.


This film has not been considered a success so far. It's barely made $2,000,000 in its opening weekend. It has received a wide variety of critiques, ranging from negative to praise. It seems most people are mixed on this. Some say its melodramatic while others consider it a nihilistic thriller. And if you don't know what nihilistic means, it's basically a rejection of law and institutions. While I still do not consider it a thriller, I will agree with calling it nihilistic. It is not like many of the films I have seen this year. It is not in chronological order. The film starts at the end, the immediately jumps two years back and starts from there until it reaches the beginning scene once more.


While I don't see “The Fifth Estate” as the next Best Picture Oscar winner, I do foresee both Buhr and Cumberbatch getting much more praise and recognition for their portrayals of Daniel Berg and Julian Assange. They are undeniably the driving force of the film and create a wonderful atmosphere that goes from friendly, almost brotherly, to tense and heartless. Both men have earned a greater appreciation from me and I look forward to seeing more from both actors in the future.


I would not discourage anyone from seeing this film. It's a great adaptation of two books, which can be difficult to do. Staying true to one book is hard enough but managing to use two is a feat that was done well. Cumberbatch, though completely recognizable, embodies Assange. The run time is a little over two hours and sometimes it does feel like its longer but its more than worth it. The climax when Assange realizes he's been hacked and Berg is relieved that he has stopped his once friend is power packed. I must go back to the epilogues, which, for me, where the best part. It's a chance for Cumberbatch to really show off his acting skills, He has been a busy man, starring in “The Hobbit” trilogy, “Star Trek Into Darkness” and returning to the set of “Sherlock”. I do not see his career slowing down at all in the near future.



I'm TheCinemaChick and I have a golden ticket...somewhere.