Let's all go to Asgard!

 Greetings and salutations all you awesome night owls out there! I'm the always bubbly critic TheCinemaChick and if I get a bit goofier than usual, blame the cold medicine. Yes, I came down with a doozy of a cold and have been fighting it for a few days. However, this isn't about me or my illness, this is about the newly released teaser trailer for “Thor The Dark World”. Joining me for this commentary will be the oft neglected Kit Kat. While I dust her and make her all shiny again, lets let her reintroduce herself.

Why thank you CinemaChick. ‘Alo all you people out there. CinemaChick and I decided it was time for my triumphant return to her movie reviewing blog. I can honestly say that I can’t wait to get rolling.

As I mentioned, this will be all about our reactions to the trailer. Having seen “Avengers” (in this case, I basically forced her to see it one night and honestly, who hasn't seen it?), you know this is going to pick up where that left off. So, we know that Thor took Loki back to Asgard. Now we must find out what has happened to Loki. Stop me if I'm wrong, but he goes back into the same prison he was in during “Avengers” only know it's on a different planet and underground. Yeah...what's stopping him from getting out?

Well, in any case, I’m glad you “made” me see it. It was a great movie. And again, good point. I think back to the pintrest pin talking about how there is no possible way for a psychopath to escape from a glass prison. I guess people never learn do they?

You know what, let's get to that part last because there's one crucial thing to touch on with that. For now, let's look at Malekith, Thor, Asgard...and Jane. Interesting tidbit, When the first director left the project, Portman wanted to quit but she is is bound by contracts to see this through. I would have been fine with this because in the films, Jane Foster adds nothing. Her main use is for the romantic angle as shown in the trailer when Thor basically kidnaps her and puts her in danger. Does she live? Does she die? Who knows.

Yes, I noticed that as well from the trailer. While I’m not a fan of the damsel in distress motif, I can understand how it’s useful. But really, Jane is on a plane where bad things aren’t happening. Then Thor shows up and takes her to a place where she is in mortal danger. And this helps keep her safe…how? And you love this chick eh?

And it seems everyone's back in this film, however, Josh Dallas will now be playing Fandral, or as I liked to call him Laughing Boy. That's right, all your rarely seen, barely mentioned characters are back in this sequel. Darcy comes back, along with Sif, Frigga and Odin. From what I've heard, those characters have been fleshed out a bit more so we get to know them better. Hey, Darcy came back, so there's a huge perk. And I hope she brought her taser with her this time. But of course, most of this not even two minute trailer is spent focusing on Thor.

Pretty much all the voice overs in this footage are by Thor. He grabs her brings her back, there’s a slight bit of relationship drama they try and shove in but that’s not important because then we get what we all came for anyway, the actiony bits. Thor saying they must do something about this tragedy and all that jazz. But, of course, as TheCinemaChick mentioned, Jane Foster is pretty much useless save for getting taken by the baddy for Thor to save her. Though, isn’t stopping “the bad guy” what the movie is about anyway?

Speaking of the bad guys, let's discuss the best part of this little trailer. Guys...Loki is back. He is in what appears to be a giant glass cube underground. His hair has grown out and apparently, they do not believe in hair dryers and flat irons for prisoners. Seriously, was his punishment to be given a bad perm and stuck in the cube? While Tom Hiddleston is a drop dead gorgeous man with an equally sexy voice, I just...I can't. The hair bothers me so much. First of all, that's what my hair looked like on a daily basis (I chopped off 7 inches of hair this morning). Second, if you don't know who Tommy Wiseau is, look him up and compare him to this Loki. Yeah. I went there. Loki is trapped in a room looking like the man who made The Room.

Yes, here is where I again agree with CinemaChick. I actually was asked to watch the YouTube video Everything Wrong with The Room in 6 Minutes or Less. And yeah, it is that bad. Couldn’t they just…let him comb his hair out or something with a few guards present or something? Sure he’s dangerous but again…he’s in a glass cage under ground. Something which he has all ready escaped from once. Give the man hair care products.

Oh we both know there will be thousands of fangirls lining up to help him out. Me, well, we all know I too am in Loki's Army. However, until the man gets a flat iron, I refuse to fall in rank, whatever my rank is. I'm excited to see this, but I demand continuity! Don't just get it going and not explain how the bridge was fixed. Joss Whedon took the time to explain how Thor came to Earth in The Avengers, you can tell us why he got back this time. So, Kit Kat, what are you most looking forward to, other than Loki's impending shower?

I’m actually looking forward to seeing more interaction between Thor and Loki. Heck, he goes to his brother for help but also says that when Loki betrays him that he, Thor, will have to kill him. Means some serious stuff has gone down if that’s the best option you have. Seeing this trailer has honestly made me wanna see the first Thor movie as a way of getting even more background into these characters.

Also, let's talk about the amazing addition of Christopher Eccleston! He was my first Doctor and as far as I'm concerned, my favorite, with Matt Smith and Tom Baker in a very close second. I'm excited to see his role as the villain. The hotness in this movie is off the charts. Yes, I went there as well.

Hotness abounds and the fangirls will lap it all up. And even for those who aren’t Doctor Who fans (you should be ashamed of yourselves) Christopher Eccleston is an amazing actor in other roles like Gone in 60 Seconds and G.I. Joe. Plus the accent.

That's right. There you have it everyone. Thor The Dark World is destined to become another Marvel mega box office hit, just like Iron Man 3 is. All right Kit Kat, say farewell to the lovely folks.

So yes, my final verdict: Definitely going to see this movie. It’s got me interested and hooked. Time for a count-down till it’s opening in theaters. Thanks for the invite back to your blog CinemaChick. This is Kit Kat and I’m pumped for new movies.

I'm TheCinemaChick and you can find me at Harkins Southlake this Thursday for their Ultimate Iron Man Marathon.

A Comedic Host

 Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog full of useless information about films! I'm the ever effervescent critic TheCinemaChick and I watch a lot of movies because I can. Now that I'm back and...well...I'm the same as I was before...I've got a lot to catch up on. For instance, let's talk about the latest box office bomb, “The Host”.

I can honestly say this one shocked me. Because it's from Twilight author Stephanie Meyer, I thought the Twi-hards would come in flocks to see this one. To my surprise, this movie has done horrible. I'm not saying I wanted this movie to do well, but I certainly didn't want it to fail. I have read the book and while it's not the best thing I've ever read, the concept is interesting.

Once again, anything I say about the plot is not a spoiler because the book has been out for a while. “The Host” along with hundreds of other wonderful books are available for you right now at your local library.

Basically, it's sort of a post apocalyptic story where aliens have come and taken over the planet but there are a few humans left. And these aliens are called souls, which can be implanted into bodies. This story focuses on Wanderer, who has been around for a while and seen several different worlds. She comes to Earth and is implanted into Melanie. Now Melanie had been part of the resistance, but when she was caught, she tried to kill herself instead of becoming one of them. The Keepers use Wanderer to tap into Melanie's memories in order to find the other humans. However, to their surprise, Melanie didn't die. She resists at every opportunity. Finally, they escape the Keepers and rejoin the other humans, who happen to live in this huge underground cave in the middle of a desert.

Wanderer is taken in and basically held hostage even though Melanie comes through every so often to try and explain what happens. And this is about the time I started hating the book. It turns right back into Twilight. It's a four sided love triangle. Melanie and Wanderer share a body and Melanie's boyfriend still loves her but there comes a rival to his affections. Jared loves Melanie but Ian falls in love with Wanderer, who they affectionately call Wanda. Talk about falling in love with a girl for her personality. This drags on for a while, almost painstakingly slow. When Jamie, Melanie's little brother, has a severe infection, she risks exposing herself in order to save him.

Blah blah blah...attempt to kill her, she is accepted as a part of the community, she teaches them how to remove souls from bodies...I'm really summarizing now. This book is over six hundred pages, so bear with me. Basically, it ends like the Twilight series. Everyone is happy, everyone gets the person they love and there is perfect resolution to all conflict.

However, this story ends with Jared, Ian, Melanie and Pet (which for some reason is what the call the body Wanda is now in, since the host body was brain dead and technically Wanda saved it...don't ask) meeting another group of humans. This group happens to have a soul in their clan and they discover not all souls want to take over. Burns (the soul they meet at the end) says something about how he thought he was the only one who changed teams. He says “Strange world?” to which Pet replies “The strangest” and it ends.

There, I just saved you 619 pages and like two hours of time. Thank me later.

Now, the film isn't a bad adaptation. It's actually fairly faithful given that a lot of stuff is left out. Seriously they barely scratch the surface. For what its worth, it isn't bad, but it suffered from a lot of major issues. The biggest issue of all was the script. Whoever wrote it clearly did not care at all because it was just so mediocre and bland. There wasn't really anything memorable about it so basically, nothing stuck with me.

“The Host” is basically tofu. It's there but there's just no flavor.

What makes it worse is that it is unintentionally hilarious. This film is not a comedy. It's meant to be science fiction and action and drama with a touch of romance. What we actually get is a romance set in a cave with really bad dialogue. And sadly, about...80% of this movie is just dialogue. Most of the run time just has the characters talking or sitting somewhere. There isn't much action. It's not even visually appealing. Since most of the film is in this cave, it's dark. The eye gets bored, then suddenly its outside for like two minutes. The visual monotony just gets to be too much and I stopped caring.

You want to know how boring this movie is? I fell asleep. I drank a cherry icee and slept. I had to finish off Fry's coke icee in order to stay awake. Then, at the most inappropriate moments, I was cracking up. Like I said, this was not intended to be a comedy but it was so bad that it's funny. Basically, the acting is as good as Kristen Stewart. Sure, they're supposed to show emotion but its just not there. You start wondering if they are even capable of doing so.

If you're a huge Stephanie Meyer fan, you'll enjoy this. Otherwise, don't bother. It's Twilight in a different package. Expect to see this one hitting the DVD shelves sooner than planned.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I learned I do not like blood orange Greek yogurt.

Disconnected

 Hello everyone, I'm your friendly neighborhood absentee film critic, TheCinemaChick! I know, I know, I promised I'd stop being such a slacker but you know...things happen and I slack off. Well, it's not like I just decided to stop doing this. I'm taking a class (yes, the same class, no snarky remarks please) so that's eating up a huge portion of my time. I've also begun working out, which is actually turning out to be something I'm enjoying. And, lets see...I've been working on another blog, Curves, Chicks and Clothes, which is about fashion and self image. Also, you know...boys. Yes, boys again. And once again, it's a younger guy. Since I prefer anonymity (which is ironic since I've made vlogs before), I'm not going to talk about them. And in case you're wondering, no, I am not dating multiple boys, I just happen to have two in my life. Before you tell me I'm a hypocrite, one of them is my little nephew. He and I have an attachment.

Plus...I've just been really depressed about my mom again. I was ok for a while, but something in me changed and I'm just always sad about her. Like, I went shopping with Fry last night and there were a ton of mother's day cards and gifts. One sign said “Don't forget Mom this Mother's Day”. I know it's designed to be universal but it still felt like a punch in the chest.

Needless to say, I am not over her death.

Enough of my wonderfully depressing personal life. Let's move on to the real reason you (hopefully) still click on this blog. You want to know about movies. And today, I have one that I actually saw several months ago. However, due to a contractual obligation, I was not allowed to talk about it until its official release, which was on April 12. I have been dying to review this one guys. I seriously loved it. Fry didn't care for it, but we are quite different.

I was invited to an early showing of this film, so it was a rough cut. Almost no music, no sound effects, some minor editing errors, things of that nature. Even though it wasn't the final draft, I still loved it because it is very relatable.

Ladies, gentleman, nerds...everyone, let's discuss the limited release film, “Disconnect”.

Don't worry if you've never heard of this film because very few people have. It doesn't have much star power in it, but it's not the actors you should be seeing it for. “Disconnect” is three stories that are sort of intertwined and they are all about the negative impact technology has had on our lives. While I do realize the irony of discussing this while using a blog that you read on a computer, I still see how some people can see how it is a problem. Let me explain the three stories and you'll get a better sense of what I'm talking about.

Alexander Skarsgard and Paula Patton play the married couple Derek and Cindy Hull. They have lost a sense of intimacy since the loss of their child. Derek spends his time gambling online while Cindy becomes involved in a chat room. Both of them are shocked when they suddenly have no money. After hiring a private detective, they learn the potential thief is in a neighboring city so they decide to confront him. When they learn he too was a victim, they have to reevaluate their plans.

Rich and Lydia Boyd (played by Jason Bateman and Hope Davis) are living in two separate worlds. He is a lawyer who spends more time on his phone than with his children while she is trying to bring the family together. Abby and Ben (Haley Ramm and Jonah Bobo) are typical teenagers. Abby loves being around her friends and texting while Ben is an introverted musician. Life gets turned upside down when two of Ben's class mates decide to torment him, leading to a revealing photo of Ben being sent to everyone in school. Humiliated, he attempts suicide, but Abby finds him and saves him before he dies. The rest of the family has to cope with this but also try to figure out why he would do such a thing. Rich discovers who is behind it and tries to get answers.



Nina (Andrea Riseborough) is a reporter who is trying to expose a certain website that hires underage teenagers to perform sexual acts on camera. She befriends Kyle (Max Theirot) and they become somewhat attached. He wants to escape the life and try to make something of himself. Nina offers to help, but secretly just wants her story. They end up have a romantic attraction but when the FBI steps in, he sees that she is using him. He flees with the other teens but Nina tries to come after him, to save him. Things to a huge turn when Kyle refuses her help, saying he knows that she only wanted to use him and that he plans to stay where he is. Nina is hurt and Kyle leaves with the other teens, giving a final glance back to her. Fashion designer Marc Jacobs plays Harvey, a small but crucial role as the man recruiting the teens to his website.

What I loved about the movie is that almost everyone can find something that they either agree with or relate to. Perhaps you know someone who has been a victim of identity theft. Maybe you've been cyber bullied. Or a friend of yours has a gambling addiction. I don't know, but then again, I have my own connections to this film. I have been cyber bullied many times because of what I look like (another reason I prefer to remain hidden). We use the internet and cell phones and tablets every day, but do we ever think about the negative actions that could come from it? Look at Rich and Lydia. They were completely out of touch with their children. Derek had no idea his wife was confiding in others about their marital issues.

Its almost like asking “Are we safe at all anymore?” People can attack us online and make things worse, thanks to things like photoshop and even Facebook. Certain websites are specifically designed to humiliate people. There are millions of teens like Ben out there, not all of them with siblings like Abby to save them. Ben's fate is also left unclear. The last thing we see is Abby laying on his hospital bed as he remains unconscious with a breathing tube. I don't know if he died or if he pulled through.

My favorite thing about “Disconnect” is the style in which it was presented. As the movie progresses, it becomes more fluid and less jerky. It starts over very disjointed. The transitions are rough so its like watching one story then being shoved into the next and repeated.

This isn't going to be a major blockbuster. In fact, you probably won't see it in theaters. However, I honestly think “Disconnect” is worth the watch. It's relatable and it will break your heart before repairing it and ultimately breaking it again. To me, its one of the best films I have seen in 2013. Others will disagree, but to each their own. Like I said, Fry didn't care for it, but I honestly loved it. All I ask is that you make your own opinions.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I could possibly be barefoot right now.

...but I'm not. I'm actually about to go see Fry.