Into The Woods

                Hello everyone and welcome to the end of 2014!  I bet you are just dying to see which movies I actually loved, but that’s going to be announced tomorrow!  Yes, I am actually capable of liking something which might seem off.  I know, I know, most of the time I’m a really negative critic but I’m not completely stone hearted.  So, one last review before we head off into the brand new year!

                Let’s talk about “Into The Woods”.

                First off, this is one of those films I actually really enjoyed.  It wasn’t perfect by any means since I did get bored a few times but the acting was spot on.  I have to say, I think Chris Pine was the stand out character for me.  He’s part is smaller than most of the others, but when he’s on screen, he just steals the scene.  There is one point where he has a duet and it’s both amazing and comical.  If you've seen the movie now, you know what I’m talking about.  The melodrama in the one song is so cheesy that you can’t help but laugh.

                Now, I saw this with Fry and my Other Mother.  Yes, on occasion, Other Mother joins us because she is totally awesome.  She also has excellent taste in books.  We were all impressed with the casting because all of the actors could sing.  Some of them weren't exactly great (Chris Pine, even though he gets an A for effort, is not the best singer) while others genuinely surprised me.  I knew Anna Kendrick could sing since I've seen “Pitch Perfect” but in this…where has she been hiding this voice?  She’s absolutely amazing!  This woman has more range than I thought and if she dabbled in music, I’d buy her album.

                Same thing goes for Meryl Streep.  Bravo, madam, bravo.  I was a fair weather fan of hers before this and now, I’m totally Team Meryl.  She gave us an outstanding performance as the witch and I would absolutely see this movie again, buy the soundtrack and own this movie on DVD.  I’m not saying this because I adore this musical that much but I would love to see the behind the scenes action.  It would be even better to see the rehearsals.  I would also like to see the stage version of this because I’ve heard it’s also quite good.  However, I’ve also heard it’s quite…adult.

                No matter what, it’s definitely with the price of a ticket.  It’s thoroughly enjoyable and there are some really good moments of humor mixed in.  I’ll admit, there are some things that left me a little confused but when I look at the film as a whole, I can overlook them.  Obviously the music is the main attraction and for me, that’s a perk.  A lot of the time, the music can be an issue since some actors try to sing but can’t.  In this case, everyone did really well.  It’s a crazy ride but it’s worth it.

                The songs fit every mood and my favorite ones by far are “On The Steps of the Palace” and “Hello, Little Girl”.  Both songs have been stuck in my head since leaving the theater.  And honestly, I knew Johnny Depp could sing but his performance in “Into The Woods” was incredible.  He oozed a strange raw passion, which is actually kind of creepy when you see what his part of the story is.  I was highly uncomfortable while watching it.  Not exactly a spoiler alert, but if you know the story of Little red Riding Hood, you know what happens to the Big Bad Wolf.

                Oh! I cannot write a review about this and ignore the true breakout star, Lilla Crawford.  I looked her up and I do believe she has done some work on Broadway.  This girl is about 13 or 14 but her talent is mind blowing.  I am envious of this chick’s voice.  She has a powerful, steady voice and she could easily beat the rest of the cast in the talent department.  I really, really liked her and I think she will do great things in the future.  If she’s not on film, I think her Broadway career is sealed.  Seriously, she can do anything with her talent.

                I will admit, there are a lot of things wrong with this film.  There are characters brought in with no introduction, some plot lines are just abandoned without explanation and some back stories don’t seem to add up.  I still can’t hate it though.  It was a great fantasy romp through fairy tales and the music is rather catchy.  Even though it won’t be my favorite film of the year, but I would really encourage everyone to see this at least one because it is worth seeing. 

                There is some dark humor and moments that could be scary so I don’t recommend this one for the kiddies.  Leave them at home for this.  The witch and the wolf might frighten them because the wolf made me uncomfortable.  Again, when you see it, you’ll understand why.  The plot might be stupid and the continuity might be off but it’s just a good, fun movie that’ll take your mind off things for a while.  I really hated the final act because it felt so forced and tacked on.

                The previews do show a boy chopping down a beanstalk, which is important to the story and that’s also why I don’t like the ending.  It could have ended sooner and left out that final part and I would have been fine with it.  And the absolute ending didn't leave me wholly satisfied either.  Normally, I’m not a fan of epilogues, but I wanted that final resolution here.

                Overall, I’d say matinee.  I didn't hate this movie but I’m not absolutely gushing over it either.  I did enjoy it, I do want the soundtrack and eventually the movie itself because I do believe I will want to watch this over and over.  Having seen it, I can also see why Meryl Streep was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance.  I seriously cannot say enough about her in the movie.  She was amazing and commands attention when she’s on screen.  True, she’s done another musical before but let’s be honest here.  “Mamma Mia” was not the best place to showcase her talents.  The music wasn't as good as it was in “Into The Woods”.

                Well, this is going to be a short one since I still have my “Top 14 of 14” to write.  I recommend “Into The Woods” as a great fantasy movie with some outstanding music in it. 

                I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m a little teapot.

2014: Worst of the Worst

Did you miss me?

Hello everyone, I’m the girl who really shouldn’t be so absent on her own movie blog, TheCinemaChick and I’m finally ready for my annual list of Best and Worst.  Have you been wondering where I’ve been?  I’ve been gone for a while now.

Disappointment.

I have not seen any decent films in so long that I began to think 2014 had nothing left to offer, so I just gave up.  Why write about consistently terrible films that were a waste of time and money?  I hated everything but I didn’t want to just write about how much a movie sucked.  I needed something positive, something refreshing to write about.  Seriously, I did not find something decent until about two weeks ago when I saw “Big Hero 6”.  I have not reviewed that and I do sincerely apologize for that.  For the past two weeks I have been sleeping about 18 hours a day due to a very severe cold that left me feeling really out of it.  I still have a touch of it, but I no longer need so much sleep or medication.

So, in short, hello sweetie.

Now…are you ready for the fourteen worst films of the year (in my opinion)?

And I know what you’re thinking, “Fourteen?  Did she really manage to come up with that many films that she hated?”

Yes.  Believe it or not, there are actually more than that but since its 2014, I decided not to exceed fourteen.  In all fairness, I do have a list of the best of the year coming next week.  Why next week you ask?  Because I’ve added a film the to the “best of” list and I have yet to see it.  Like most nerds out there, I’m am internally fangirling over the upcoming “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies”.  Since I have enjoyed all of them so far, I already put it on my list.  I do plan to see it as soon as it comes out, so it’ll only be about a week between lists.

Also, speaking of list, I have decided to do a theater review as well.  There are a couple of theaters I tend to lurk in, so I want to do a rating system for them.  While I do seem to haunt only one recently, it’s not my favorite.  I don’t even know if theaters even care about what bloggers like me have to say about them, but I’d like to let them know they are doing a good/bad job.  Trust me, I have been to the absolutely worst.  At one theater, I slipped in butter in front of the snack counter and all I got was a “We’re sorry”.  Don’t say you’re sorry, clean it up and put out a “Wet Floor” sign!

And I’m off track.  You know I tend to do that.  I actually paused for about five minutes because I saw what I thought would be the perfect gift for DigitalDad.  That’s three people taken care of, like ten more to go.

But now, on to the worst movies of the year, in no particular order!

1.       Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

I honestly don’t know why I keep going to this franchise.  Part of me wants to know how it’s all connected and see how it ends.  I know it’s going to be awful.  This one wasn’t just bad, it was borderline offensive.  There were some Mexican stereotypes mixed in there that just didn’t sit well with me.  The characters were incredibly stupid and Fry and I were yelling at the screen the whole time.  We were also the only ones in the theater, so we could.  I hated it, except for the ending, where it tied everything back to the first film.  Definitely wasn’t the best movie to choose for my birthday.

2.       Pompeii

This one was so awful, I actually had forgotten that I had seen it.  It was forgettable.  The acting was bad, the plot was paper thin and then it just such a weird turn that it didn’t even make sense.  I could not believe the chemistry between the two main characters because it felt so forced.  Then again, she supposedly fell in love with him when he killed a horse out of mercy.  I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you woo a girl in ancient Greece.  On the bright side, Kit Harington was pretty to look at.

3.       The Muppets Most Wanted

I wanted to like this one, I really did.  I love The Muppets.  They’ve been a part of my life since I was a kid, so when they came back, I was elated.  This film however, it just felt like it was insulting my intelligence.  Everything was so obvious, the comedy wasn’t even that great and the songs disappointed me, except for one.  The cameos weren’t as good in this one either.  I admit, I was really looking forward to seeing Tom Hiddleston in there, but he was on screen for about a minute total.  Josh Groban also had a part in there and to this day, I want to know what made him the most dangerous criminal in that prison.  Why, of all people, was he the one in solitary confinement?  Overall, just meh.

4.       Divergent

First off, this was not marketed to my age group.  This was obviously made for teen girls.  There was a lot of pretty boys to look at and the ever present strong female lead.  I get that we want more positive role models out there for young girls, but I don’t think Tris is the one.  She’s pathetic until the eleventh hour when she has to step up and do something.  The romance between her and Four is over emphasized.  I actually read the book before seeing the movie and the book was decent.  However, when they really poured the relationship aspect on heavily, I couldn’t take it seriously.  Plus, come on…the post-apocalyptic world, corrupt leaders, young people rebelling, strong teen female leader…we get it.  Move on.

The sequel, “Insurgent” comes out in 2015.

5.       Oculus

Someone explain this one to me.  I was so bored then it would be a flashback, then present time, then back in the past.  It never explained what the mirror did or how the mirror was demonic.  Nothing was explained, so I couldn’t follow the story.  Props to Karen Gillan on her first post “Doctor Who” film but it bombed.  Thankfully, this lovely actress will pop up again on my “best of” list.

6.       Transformers: Age of Extinction

Once again, not sure why I thought this would be good.  It dragged on for so long and I wanted those freaking Dinobots to show up and they never did!  They didn’t show up until the last half hour and at that point, I didn’t care anymore.  This was another “Michael Bay presents a Michael Bay film with all the Michael Bay explosions that Michael Bay likes in all his movies because Michael Bay” thing.  Is there an upside?  Uh…well, apparently you can smack around a Dinobot and it’ll obey like a well-trained dog.

7.       Jersey Boys

I didn’t hate this one.  I actually liked it.  However, I can’t get past how much cursing there was in this film.  That’s what got to me.  The music and story were good but geez, do you really need THAT much language?  I could understand it if it were and R rated action flick, but a musical biography?  It was just unnecessary.

8.       The Purge: Anarchy

The first movie was good.  The Polite Leader was super creepy with his smile.  The sequel didn’t go as well.  There were no likeable characters and they tried to do too much in the time they had.  The intertwining stories just didn’t work.  And then it just jerks you into a completely different scenario which made even less sense.  No one had any redeeming qualities.  After the movie, Butterfly and I were talking and we agreed that this would make an awesome MMORPG, an online roleplaying game.  I would play a survival game based on this movie but I would not recommend the movie itself.

9.       Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I grew up with the live action movies and this one was a disappointment.  It did nothing for me and I didn’t find it fun.  Megan Fox added a very flat performance and the plot didn’t even resolve itself at the end.  Too many threads were left open so it just left me feeling underwhelmed.  Let’s see…a positive…uh…Michael Bay was involved and he didn’t royally screw this one up.

10.   Into The Storm

Oh Richard Armitage…you can do so much better than this.  This was a lackluster, uninspired movie about a mega storm.  I was bored out of my mind for the duration of it and couldn’t have cared less if anyone lived.  It needed sharks with their tornados.

11.   Let’s Be Cops

What movie are you trying to be?  Are you a buddy cop movie?  A stoner flick?  An undercover spy film?  Seriously, what are you?  Pick a genre or two and stick to that because otherwise you get a confused jumble of a movie.  I hated it and wish I’d never seen it.  Skip this one entirely and go rent “Police Academy”.

12.   As Above So Below

Can we just all agree that the found footage movement should just die out?  It’s just another weird paranormal movie taking place in the catacombs of France.  There were elements that I like, showing the tombs below the streets and building the tension.  However, it also opened possible side stories that showed up and almost immediately vanished.  It never really explained why the characters were killed off and I don’t really understand how going that deep into the catacombs led them back to the streets of Paris.  Honestly, I could have been cool with the ending if they had hinted that the survivors had somehow ended up in an alternate universe.  Like, it was Paris, just an evil version or a backwards version.  Instead, they just ended up in the normal world and it ended.  More or less, just disappointing and uninteresting.  It had potential to be better.

13.   Annabelle

And here we have the spinoff from the popular movie “The Conjuring”.  It had moments where the tension almost had me going but it became highly predictable.  Fry and I were literally sitting in our seats saying what would happen next.  We lost interest in it entirely.  I would like to see the cult they mentioned in the beginning and how it led to the one girl wanting the Annabelle doll.  To be honest, haunted or not, that doll is freaky looking.  Fun fact, I got to touch the actual doll when it was at Fan Days this past October.  As far as the movie goes, I want to know why the doll is haunted, what is haunting it, why is chose the doll and what it has to do with the cult.  Beyond that, blah.  Just plain blah.

14.   Ouija

This movie was seriously horror movie cliché central.  It was like a checklist of tropes.  Group of teen friends playing with cursed object with one friend feeling apprehensive, check.  Methodical death by slowly picking off teens one by one, check.  Best friend trying to save everyone, check.  Wise older woman, usually of some kind of ethnic background, check.

I couldn’t stand this one.  It went in one direction then decided “Eh, let’s do something else and see if this makes people jump.”  It didn’t really do anything for me.  Defeating the curse just seemed too easy and the twist was obvious.

Also, why is the wise woman always of some ethnic origin?  In “Annabelle”, the wise older woman was African American.  In “Ouija”, she’s the Mexican grandmother. 

Is it so hard to find a fresh, interesting take on a horror movie?  I would love something that’s not predicable or filled with the same old clichés.  Give me something new and exciting.  Is that so much to ask?

I hope 2015 has something better to offer.  Actually, I know it will.  We’ve got new “Avengers” to look forward to, along with “Pitch Perfect”, “Mad Max” and so much more.  As for 2014, this was a year of mediocrity and failures.  The ones that did succeed were phenomenal but the ones that bombed, well, they bombed hard.

I’m TheCinemaChick and right now, I’m under my invisibility cloak.