Hey I’m Kit Kat and yes, this movie is really stupid but that’s why I laugh so hard every time George hits a tree. Everyone should know not to expect anything serious in this movie from the get go. But if the trailers aren’t enough then the opening to the movie will. They explain their way into how George got where he was through a badly drawn cartoon followed by a song filled with animals both large and small swinging on vines and smashing into trees. If that doesn’t tell you not to take this movie seriously then I don’t know what will. But I believe it’s in that that makes it so funny.
And if you did take the movie seriously, I’m sorry. We all know the story. George gets lost in the jungle and ends up being raised by Ape…who is an ape. Not a difficult concept to grasp. He’s unaware of the outside world and is pretty content there. Then, the most vicious of animal in the world shows up: man! Yes, that’s right, man. He shows up to go hunting deep in the jungle where they hear rumors of the great white ape, not to be confused with the great white hype, who I think was Larry Byrd. I’m not into sports…unless it involves Dirk Nowitzski. Then I care.
Back to the movie.
So now that man has invaded the jungle and plans to kill some of our friendly neighborhood critters, what do we do?
You take into account the blonde and stupid Ursula who has no idea what the two leather clad goons that her fiancé has brought along with him to guide them through the jungle are up to. Seems to me that anyone that wears all black all the time, while the rest of the cast is dressed normally, just has the words ‘bad guy’ flashing over their head.
In any case, the trip through the jungle is narrated by a narrator that actually talks to the audience adding to the theme of not taking ourselves seriously. However, the search for the great white ape is interrupted while Lyle, the fiancé, drags Ursula into the jungle alone to find the white ape alone so he can drag her home and marry her. What a lovely guy.
It’s like the film screams, “Hey, this dude is bad! See? He’s bad! LOOK!!” Well, it’s obvious that he’s bad because he’s a complete coward who can’t even defend his lady love. Then he lies about what he did and we all know lying is bad. What proof does he have that Ursula has been taken? A scrunchie, because that automatically tells a man that his woman is in mortal peril. Never mind going after her, he goes back to his goons to tell them what happened so he can get them to help. And this children, is example two of why he is a coward. Once he has his band of merry men ready, they venture forth, braving the jungle to find the one blonde woman in the entire place. Really…in a place where’s there’s no civilization, how hard is it to find the tall, thin, attractive blond woman? And for that matter, why is she the stereotypical damsel in distress? Can we PLEASE have a female character that can fend for herself? Just once? Please?
You must add to his weakling status how he has to be CARRIED through the friggin jungle. The man has two legs with two feet attached. Stop being a whiny moron and walk on your own two feet!
In any case, this is when we discover that the ‘white ape’ that has taken Ursula is just grown up George of the Jungle. She wakes up in his tree house and flips when the Ape named Ape talks. Once again…where is the strong female character? Does she REALLY have to faint?
To make the group even more out of left field, George’s other friends are a random group of apes that never serve a purpose till later in the movie. There’s ‘great big peanut loving doggie Shep’ that turns out to be an elephant that acts like a dog and a toucan named Tookie.
Once our ‘damsel in distress’ recovers, she has a fling in the jungle with ole George. This part of the movie is filled with meaningless sidelines and jokes that never go beyond the few seconds they are on the screen. Like the little monkey that is trying to be liked by the other monkeys so George has a lion help the monkey out.
And of course, the stupid jokes continue on for a while and Ursula gets reunited with Lyle and they decide that the best thing to do is to take George to the big city. Yeah, that’s a brilliant idea. Let’s a take man from his natural habitat and stick him in the middle of a completely new concept for him. And just to make things even more awkward, lets invite him to a small soiree at Ursula’s parents home. This is when we find out that her parents are loaded, so no wonder Lyle wants her. He wants all the money her folks have. That’s love. And as this part drags on and on and on, almost painfully, Ursula begins to develop romantic feelings for this jungle man. Oh yes…he’s like a less annoying version of Fabio. While Brendan Fraser is not my cup of tea (I prefer peppermint myself), to someone, he’s gorgeous. More power to them.
Oh, and to add to the lovely Fabio image is George running around in a field with his white shirt unbuttoned showing some of his toned chest and hair flapping through the wind as he runs with the horses. All the women are watching and swooning over him (and I’ll admit, I had similar thoughts when I first saw the movie) and then they decide to bring the comedy back in with two guys making a comment about girls and horses. Once again, makes no sense.
Eventually, George starts to get homesick but that’s not what takes him back to the jungle. But the fact that Tookie has somehow flown all the way from the jungle to tell George that the two black wearing henchmen have captured Ape. So naturally, George, begrudgingly leaves, and takes a trip back to the jungle. And how does he get there? Not by a boat or train or plane…he MAILS himself and a pair of sneakers back to a village in the jungle from where he runs back to the treehouse. Once again, not realistic but this is not the movie to take seriously. Don’t try this at home kiddies.
This is also a gross interpretation of how long it takes to mail something across the world. They make it look like George makes it to the village in a manner of minutes when really, that doesn’t happen. I’ve mailed things to England Texas to England is closer than San Francisco to Africa . There is a not so epic fight scene between George and the poachers, with lots of bad humor thrown in there. I believe Ape helps George by passing gas in one of the poacher’s faces. And how does this battle end? Well, Ursula has somehow made it back to the jungle and has gotten the animal friends to help. Since when did she develop the ability to teleport and speak to animals? When did the X-Men show up? This movie has no concept of time!
Good point? How the heck did she get there? Even if she flew on a plane that would take at least a day or two. Not minutes or hours. Speaking of which, how’d she make it back to the tree house? She was unconscious the first time she was taken to it and somehow manages to make it all the way back by herself with no gear at all.
She helps to save the day and performs the same tree face plant that George does and he catches her and they live happily ever after.
But WAIT…there’s more.
Before their happily ever after, Lyle shows up from prison where somehow he has not only become an ordained minister but has gathered his own following of goons that make his first two look like rejects from an episode of Walker Texas Ranger.
How did scrawny Lyle manage to get that kind of help?
Well, when you join a cult…
But, Lyle kidnaps Ursula and gets her on a boat with the intent to marry her. Apparently, he failed geography in school because he doesn’t realize that the river they are on leads not only to a dark cavern, but a freaking waterfall. How did he not foresee this massive problem? Really? Bad guys need to have everything planned out ahead of time, then go into an insanely long soliloquy explaining why they are doing what they are doing. They don’t just go tromping through the jungle expecting to marry the hot chick. If it’s any consolation, he ends up marrying a female gorilla. Jokes on you buddy!
And then, yes, George and Ursula live happily ever after and even have a kid who inherits his father’s….lack of grace shall we call it.
And this brings an end to George of the Jungle. It may seem like we didn’t like it but it’s the fact it doesn’t take itself seriously to the nth degree that makes it a movie to sit and watch and laugh with. It knows it’s a joke and says that’s ok.
This is Kit Kat. No movie is too good or too bad for a review.
So there you have it. The old school comedy that is George of the Jungle. It’s bad, it’s stupid, but when you just want to laugh your ass off like an idiot, pick this one up. Is the sequel any good?
That’s a review for another time, my minions.
This is TheCinemaChick, bidding you happy movie watching.
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