Trailer Trash - Fast and Furious 6

 Hey guys, its TheCinemaChick again and we're in for another installment of Trailer Trash. I don't mean that in the derogatory way. In this case, we're talking about trailers for upcoming films that either make no sense or make us go all fangirl. “Fast and Furious 6” is out but lets talk about this one for a few minutes. Judging from the trailer alone, this makes absolutely no sense. From what I've been told, the films were not released in order, so this one happens before “Tokyo Drift”. Honestly, I don't know what the Dalek is going on anymore. And yes, I just used Dalek instead of a curse word. As always, I'm not alone in this endeavor. Ladies and gentleman, say hello to the one, the only, Kit Kat.

Hello again all you movie goers. I’m back sooner than most expected but once I saw this trailer I knew something had to be said. Once I heard CinemaChick thought the same thing I knew it was only a matter of time. And yes, I will say it too: sense, this makes none. Oh and as the whole movie sequence thing goes. Apparently, the sequence of movies goes like this: Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast Four, The Fast and The Furious, Fast and Furious 6, and Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. According to the info I found on the net, the third movie was apparently a side project but never really intended to be a part of the series as a whole. So um…why make it?

Let's also keep in mind that Letty died prior to this movie. Seriously, she is supposed to have died in a crash but she's back. I'll admit, I spoiled the film for myself by looking up information and also by watching Mathew “Film Brain” Buck's review of the film. You can find him on blip or at Film Brain's "Projector". He pointed out how many things don't make sense. You mean other than Letty not being dead and Hahn popping back up? I know, “Tokyo Drift” technically is supposed to happen after this film, but they are screwing this series up more and more as it goes along. “The Fast and the Furious” was about street racing, friendship and loyalty. “Fast and Furious 6” is like a study in what not to do with your films. I mean, let's discuss the tank and the plane, Letty and Hahn and the plot that has gone from decent to just downright embarrassing.

Honestly, these people are SUPPOSED to be simple street racers that have broken the law here and there…not professional hit men, assassins, SWAT, or any other branch with any sort of training. Sure you can learn to use a gun by living in a rough part of town but this is ridiculous. I think the most ridiculous being the plane. That is a freaking jet and somehow what amounts to a grappling hook is shot by one of the characters, hits the plane on the first shot, hooks in, and then the plane is pulled down to the ground with said car while Dom, who was for some reason in the plane, burst out the nose in a car he’s driving. There is suspension of disbelief and then there’s whatever the heck is happening in this movie.

Guys, I know movies are supposed to be an escape from reality and they are for enjoyment but what in the world is this? Cars cannot take down jets like that! I'm also fairly certain the nose of the jet is not that flimsy so Dom would have smashed into it. Did we mention that the tank apparently can go the same speed as a race car? According to this trailer, tanks have now been jacked up. This doesn't make sense! Your chronology is messed up, your information on vehicles is incredibly flawed and to be perfectly honest, most of the actors in this franchise are horrible. They are stiff, wooden and have as much personality as a plank of wood. Sure, they are nice to look at, but to me, they are just dead on the screen. When there is dialogue for more than a minute, I get bored because even they sound like they don't want to be there.

If this movie was pure action and less melodrama it MIGHT become passable. But trying to throw in that somehow Letty didn’t die, that Dom loves her and will do anything to get her back, that she is somehow working for the bad guys even though she remembers Dom…it’s all too much. Heck, the Rock himself managed to do a slightly decent job in an action comedy role because it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. The way this movie is going on, it’s like they want the audience to take it seriously. I stopped taking this movie franchise seriously after the first movie.

I never took it seriously. I couldn't. Keep in mind, there was a phase in Hollywood when street racing was the thing. We had tons of those movies coming out. However, that trend has since passed and honestly, most of these actors rely on this franchise for fame. Paul Walker has done some mediocre stuff, Vin Diesel has found success as Riddick and Dwayne Johnson has a fairly decent acting career. The rest of them, honestly, do you know? Tyrese used to model and I believe he dabbled briefly in music. Michelle Rodriguez became known for her legal troubles more than her acting abilities. Apparently, she wants to retire from acting. Honey, you should have done that about three “Fast and Furious” films ago.

Yeah I don’t know much about any of the actors save for Diesel and Johnson myself. I’ve seen Rodriguez once in the first Resident Evil movie. Most of these “actors” are great unknowns and I think that’s the ultimate failure here. True, it takes a movie to make a movie star but if they aren’t big name film stars by the sixth movie then take the hint. They will never be big name film stars. To use the old saying: they are beating a dead horse here. The fun and games is over. Bout the only thing this movie would be good for is a good laugh at all the stupid antics they try to pass off as realistic.

The sad news is production for the seventh (and hopefully final) film has begun. I am not joking about this one. There will be a “Fast and Furious 7” next year. They are rushing this one, which ultimately means its going to suffer greatly. The studio, Universal, is suffering a bit so they are putting all the money on this franchise, so they want to crank out another one as soon as possible. While I understand the reason for this decision, I cannot respect it. There are dozens, hundreds if not thousands of decent franchises out there that need a home. Look at Summit. There were basically unheard of and took a chance on the “Twilight” series. Now they are rolling in money. I'm not saying go for a bad teen vampire romance, I'm just saying, keep your options open.

I agree. TheCinemaChick and I love pointing out all the thing we hate about Twilight for our own amusement but they knew one thing with that series, they knew how to play to their target audience. The Fast and the Furious franchise doesn’t seem to have a target audience as they are trying to appeal to everyone and that didn’t work for them. Others have made it work because they’ve set the stage better. We want the love to happen because we feel for the characters. Heck, I didn’t know Dom even cared for Letty other than a sometimes fling till I read the synopsis for this movie. We as the audience need something to work with and a sudden romance isn’t gonna put female butts in the seats unless they are being enticed by hot guys.

There are hot guys in this? Did I miss something? I'd go for the action scenes, the fighting, the chases but they are so over the top, it becomes laughable. Not to mention, it's the same freaking plot as every other movie in the series. They have to race, there's a heist of some sort and a lot of cars will be ruined. Congratulations, I just spoiled the entire series for you. You can thank me later. Honestly, it's time to put this thing into retirement. It's been done to death. I foresee it making decent money this weekend because it is Memorial Day, but it faces competition from “The Hangover III”. My money's on “Hangover” for the top spot this weekend with “Fast and Furious” trailing by roughly ten million less. What say you Kit Kat?

I’m with you on this one. The Hangover series has done far better overall and is more reachable than the over-the-top stunts in The Fast and the Furious. It’s like it’s trying to be The Expendables but with cars and no witty banter. I’ll see this to have a good laugh and see what’s left of the movie that the trailers didn’t show, even though I suspect it will be more of the same but worse.

So there you go. See it at your own risk. Care to say good night Kit Kat?

I take my leave back to my realm of books gladly with hopes that I can set my mind at ease with a carefully crafted plot. But don’t worry…I’ll be back. More bad movies and trailers come.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm going on an adventure!

Another Day on the Enterprise

 Hello my fellow insomniacs, I am the forever film addicted girl you know as TheCinemaChick. Now...spoilers. “Star Trek Into Darkness” does not come out until Friday, but I've already seen it. Yes, I walked out of the theater roughly an hour ago, feeling both overjoyed and furious. I'll get to both as I write. I predict this film will knock “Iron Man 3” out of the top slot at the box office. It's a very good movie, well written and has some great dialogue.

First and foremost, let me address something. I am sick and tired of having to say this, but people, stop using your cell phones during movies! Seriously, it should be common courtesy by now and yet, there are certain people who seem to think it's perfectly ok. I don't care if you think the movie is running long or getting boring. You are in a dark theater. The little light from your phone screen is a massive distraction. For instance, during the climax of a huge soon to be blockbuster is a bad time to start texting your friends. To the woman in front of me who was easily in her 40s, obviously you did not hear me ask you politely to stop, then yell at you and clearly you did not feel me kicking your chair.

Moral of the story: STOP USING YOUR PHONES DURING FILMS!!!

Now I can discuss the film. The first film was amazing. It was a good rendition of “Star Trek” so if you weren't familiar with the original series, “The Next Generation” or any variety of the show, the films were a good way to get into it. Now, from what I've heard, this movie takes place roughly six months after the first film in the rebooted franchise. I can buy that. JJ Abrams has also gone on record that this series takes place in an alternate time line so anything is possible. If you are planning to see this one, keep that in mind. You'll need to during a very important, very central scene. When you see it, you'll know.

I'm not a huge Star Trek fan. In fact, I didn't see the first Star Trek (by which I mean the reboot) until this past December. It hadn't interested me but I was pleasantly shocked to find that I loved it. Chris Pine made a great James Kirk while Zachary Quinto was perfect as Spock. The entire cast was well selected and I'm glad to say that the entire cast returns in the sequel. There are a few new faces, which I will get to in a moment, but for the most part, everyone should look familiar. Simon Pegg gets his role as Scotty expanded a little so he gets more screen time but sadly, Anton Yelchin's screen time is reduced. I have to admit, I like Chekov. He's just adorable.

If you've seen the trailers for this, you've noticed the addition of two people. Alice Eve joins as Carol Marcus, who doesn't add too much to the plot and Benedict Cumberbatch as the sinister John Harrison. Now, I had to ask who John Harrison was when I first heard this news. Fortunately for me, my father is a Trekkie.

Spoiler alert! It's Khan.

Yes, the man we all know and love as Sherlock is now an evil man hellbent on destruction. He makes a convincing villain. As I watched, I knew who he was and what would happen. Yet, as the film progressed, I became skeptical of myself. Maybe what I knew was wrong but right as I was convinced I didn't know anything, the movie proved me right. Cumberbatch as Khan is manipulative, deceitful and gets inside your mind. Things go one way then he just turns it all around and slaps you in the face with it. Everything about him was perfection. Seriously, there is one reason you need to see this. The second being the return of the cast.

Why was I overjoyed? Because even at a full two hours and twenty minutes, it's never boring. Even the slow moments have something to suck you in or have moments of great humor. Like, there's a scene where Kirk tells Chekov to change into a red shirt, everyone in the audience groaned. For those of you who don't know, in the original show, if you wore a red shirt, you were usually a goner. The joke is “Red shirts die first”. I won't tell you his fate, but trust me, other red shirts are not so fortunate. There are some great lines, including Dr. McCoy using a “Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a...” line.

“Into Darkness” was visually stunning and overall, amazing. I saw it high definition 3D, so the quality was astounding. Of course, I also saw it with a bunch of Trekkies, so they knew the jokes and they knew what to anticipate. There's also a Tribble. That is actually a huge plot point, but I won't say how or why. It is indeed there though.

Let's discuss why I'm furious. This is roughly based on “The Wrath of Khan” so if you've seen that, you know what to expect. The scene of Spock's death is one of the best in cinematic history. Well...just keep in mind this is in an alternate timeline, ok? That's all I can say about it. So...someone does angrily yell “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” granted, I can yell it better than they did. I wanted to enjoy it but I just can't get past it. This scene is canon in the Star Trek series and to do that to it? I was honestly wondering how the die hard fans in Star Trek shirts in front of me (yes, people can in costume) were so happy with the product. I know, the entire package is amazing but this one scene...why did it have to be like that?

This scene. (potential spoilers)

I honestly think this one is worth the splurge. See it in 3D. Even if you're not a huge fan, you'll find something to enjoy in this one. It's one of the best films I've seen in 2013 and so far, this has been a slow year for me. Not just because I haven't seen a lot of movies, but also because most of the ones I've seen have been mediocre to bad. So far, this is number one of my top movies of the year, which is sad. Then again, the summer movie season has had a slow start, so let's give it a little more time. Things will surely get better in the coming months, right?

Also, fellow Whovians, the father shown at the beginning of the film...look familiar?  Noel Clark AKA Mickey Smith is in this as well.  His appearance is brief but crucial.

Let's just say yes.

I'm TheCinemaChick and if you want to see Benedict Cumberbatch in tight pants, this is the movie for you.

I'll be at the Dallas Comic Con this Saturday! I'll be prowling around, meeting Nathan Fillion and doing all sorts of nerdy things.

Iron Man?

 What's up everyone? I'm the one and only female film blogger who goes by TheCinemaChick! Right now, it is 1 AM, I'm drinking Dr. Pepper like a moron and I've seen the movie that is sure to be on everyone's mind this weekend. I happened to attend an all day marathon for this film and I was there from noon to about 11:30. It's already made about 200 million overseas and I foresee it doing just as well here in the states. My preliminary estimate is that it will take in at least 150 million in three days, including midnight showings (or in my case, 9:00 PM shows).

Guys, it's here. “Iron Man 3” has hit theaters.

As I've mentioned before, I'm a Marvel girl. I love their films and I love their comics. Needless to say, I loved the first two installments of this series. The first film established Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark and the second...was a mild embarrassment. “The Avengers” solidified the role and character as iconic one. So when people heard that the third in this franchise would be coming, the expectations were high. Then it succeeded in the foreign market. So without a doubt, it has to do well in our own theaters right?

Well...please don't kill me.

“Iron Man 3” will do well because of the hype, the actors and because its Marvel. Beyond that, I don't think it will be much of a success. Commercially and financially, it has exceeded expectations but for me, I just didn't care for it. What sucks is that the trailers make it seem action packed and a thrill a minute. In reality...it wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. This isn't something I would see again, but I'm glad I saw it. I'm not saying it was absolute crap, I just didn't care for it.

I found it lackluster, confusing and suffering from major plot holes. I just didn't believe any of the actors this time. It felt a bit forced to me. Let me get one thing clear. To me, Gwyneth Paltrow was not the best choice for Pepper Potts. I don't find her to be a great actress and she comes across as very stuck up and haughty. True, now that I've seen all the films, I can't think of anyone else to play the part, but still, I just don't like her. Robert Downey Jr, on the other hand, is Tony Stark. It's like, who else could play Happy? Jon Favreau is perfect in the part.

Here's where my issues start. The Tony Stark we have come to know and love in three movies, isn't the same Tony Stark in this one. Something has happened to him, I won't say what but if you've seen “The Avengers” you know, and it's caused him some stress. In the trailers, he says he can't sleep and that issue gets resolved. However, they open up another area that could be deeply explored. It plays a major part until about midway through, then it's just dropped entirely. There is no definite resolution to almost any storyline in the film. And the few that are finished are basically nothing but voice overs.

Then, there's the villain, The Mandarin. Ben Kingsley joins the cast as the mysterious and for some reason, slightly annoying bad guy. Seriously, someone get The Mandarin some speech therapy because he likes to drag out his words. But there's a huge plot twist thrown in that makes even less sense and completely throws off the momentum of the film. In fact, that happens a lot. The film is going along and BAM! Completely goes off in a different direction, ruining the flow. I could understand this happening once, maybe twice, but this honestly seemed to happen about four times.

Don't even get me started on the ending. For me, it just went against everything the other Iron Man movies stood for. It was like giving up on something after spending years perfecting it. Ok, yeah, it is left open and there is a post credit scene that sort of helps me feel a bit better about it. All it says is “Iron Man will return”. So...if you've seen the trailers, you've seen the snippet where Tony is going under the knife. I'm pretty sure we all have the same idea about what it means, but if you don't know I won't spoil it for you. I will just say that it takes place at the end of the film, within the final ten minutes.

I don't want to discourage anyone from seeing “Iron Man 3”. Remember, this is just my personal opinion of it and I didn't care for it. The more I've thought about it and gone through my notes, I realize I truly did not like this film. It's not on my worst films list but it's not something I can look back on and think “I truly enjoyed that”. I still prefer the previous two films but many people are saying this is the best one yet.

I will leave that for everyone to decide on their own.

As for me, I've seen it. I'm done with it. Time to move on.

“Iron Man 3” is a confusing, twisted, complicated ride through Tony's life that just didn't sit well with me. It could have been better, but it could also have been worse. I really don't care for me but Fry liked it. I also took my uncle to see it and he enjoyed it as well. Personally, I need several things to be spelled out for me in order to understand it better. There were too many plot twists, plot holes and loose threads for my enjoyment.

Is this the end of Iron Man?

Will he show up in “Avengers 2”?

What does Joss Whedon have in store for us?

Why did this movie have to end like that?

See it for yourself. Maybe you can tell me something that I missed. I don't know. I'm excited for a bunch of movies coming out, like “Star Trek Into Darkness”, “Thor The Dark World”, “The Mortal Instruments City of Bones” and “The Great Gatsby”.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I'll be Austin bound tomorrow for one hell of a wedding.