Hey guys, its TheCinemaChick again and
we're in for another installment of Trailer Trash. I don't mean that
in the derogatory way. In this case, we're talking about trailers
for upcoming films that either make no sense or make us go all
fangirl. “Fast and Furious 6” is out but lets talk about this
one for a few minutes. Judging from the trailer alone, this makes
absolutely no sense. From what I've been told, the films were not
released in order, so this one happens before “Tokyo Drift”.
Honestly, I don't know what the Dalek is going on anymore. And yes,
I just used Dalek instead of a curse word. As always, I'm not alone
in this endeavor. Ladies and gentleman, say hello to the one, the
only, Kit Kat.
Hello again all you movie goers. I’m
back sooner than most expected but once I saw this trailer I knew
something had to be said. Once I heard CinemaChick thought the same
thing I knew it was only a matter of time. And yes, I will say it
too: sense, this makes none. Oh and as the whole movie sequence thing
goes. Apparently, the sequence of movies goes like this: Fast and the
Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast Four, The Fast and The Furious, Fast
and Furious 6, and Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. According to
the info I found on the net, the third movie was apparently a side
project but never really intended to be a part of the series as a
whole. So um…why make it?
Let's also keep in mind that Letty died
prior to this movie. Seriously, she is supposed to have died in a
crash but she's back. I'll admit, I spoiled the film for myself by
looking up information and also by watching Mathew “Film Brain”
Buck's review of the film. You can find him on blip or at Film Brain's "Projector". He
pointed out how many things don't make sense. You mean other than
Letty not being dead and Hahn popping back up? I know, “Tokyo
Drift” technically is supposed to happen after this film, but they
are screwing this series up more and more as it goes along. “The
Fast and the Furious” was about street racing, friendship and
loyalty. “Fast and Furious 6” is like a study in what not to do
with your films. I mean, let's discuss the tank and the plane, Letty
and Hahn and the plot that has gone from decent to just downright
embarrassing.
Honestly, these people are SUPPOSED
to be simple street racers that have broken the law here and
there…not professional hit men, assassins, SWAT, or any other
branch with any sort of training. Sure you can learn to use a gun by
living in a rough part of town but this is ridiculous. I think the
most ridiculous being the plane. That is a freaking jet and somehow
what amounts to a grappling hook is shot by one of the characters,
hits the plane on the first shot, hooks in, and then the plane is
pulled down to the ground with said car while Dom, who was for some
reason in the plane, burst out the nose in a car he’s driving.
There is suspension of disbelief and then there’s whatever the heck
is happening in this movie.
Guys, I know movies are supposed to be
an escape from reality and they are for enjoyment but what in the
world is this? Cars cannot take down jets like that! I'm also
fairly certain the nose of the jet is not that flimsy so Dom would
have smashed into it. Did we mention that the tank apparently can go
the same speed as a race car? According to this trailer, tanks have
now been jacked up. This doesn't make sense! Your chronology is
messed up, your information on vehicles is incredibly flawed and to
be perfectly honest, most of the actors in this franchise are
horrible. They are stiff, wooden and have as much personality as a
plank of wood. Sure, they are nice to look at, but to me, they are
just dead on the screen. When there is dialogue for more than a
minute, I get bored because even they sound like they don't want to
be there.
If this movie was pure action and
less melodrama it MIGHT become passable. But trying to throw in that
somehow Letty didn’t die, that Dom loves her and will do anything
to get her back, that she is somehow working for the bad guys even
though she remembers Dom…it’s all too much. Heck, the Rock
himself managed to do a slightly decent job in an action comedy role
because it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. The way this movie
is going on, it’s like they want the audience to take it seriously.
I stopped taking this movie franchise seriously after the first
movie.
I never took it seriously. I couldn't.
Keep in mind, there was a phase in Hollywood when street racing was
the thing. We had tons of those movies coming out. However, that
trend has since passed and honestly, most of these actors rely on
this franchise for fame. Paul Walker has done some mediocre stuff,
Vin Diesel has found success as Riddick and Dwayne Johnson has a
fairly decent acting career. The rest of them, honestly, do you
know? Tyrese used to model and I believe he dabbled briefly in
music. Michelle Rodriguez became known for her legal troubles more
than her acting abilities. Apparently, she wants to retire from
acting. Honey, you should have done that about three “Fast and
Furious” films ago.
Yeah I don’t know much about any
of the actors save for Diesel and Johnson myself. I’ve seen
Rodriguez once in the first Resident Evil movie. Most of these
“actors” are great unknowns and I think that’s the ultimate
failure here. True, it takes a movie to make a movie star but if they
aren’t big name film stars by the sixth movie then take the hint.
They will never be big name film stars. To use the old saying: they
are beating a dead horse here. The fun and games is over. Bout the
only thing this movie would be good for is a good laugh at all the
stupid antics they try to pass off as realistic.
The sad news is production for the
seventh (and hopefully final) film has begun. I am not joking about
this one. There will be a “Fast and Furious 7” next year. They
are rushing this one, which ultimately means its going to suffer
greatly. The studio, Universal, is suffering a bit so they are
putting all the money on this franchise, so they want to crank out
another one as soon as possible. While I understand the reason for
this decision, I cannot respect it. There are dozens, hundreds if
not thousands of decent franchises out there that need a home. Look
at Summit. There were basically unheard of and took a chance on the
“Twilight” series. Now they are rolling in money. I'm not
saying go for a bad teen vampire romance, I'm just saying, keep your
options open.
I agree. TheCinemaChick and I love
pointing out all the thing we hate about Twilight for our own
amusement but they knew one thing with that series, they knew how to
play to their target audience. The Fast and the Furious franchise
doesn’t seem to have a target audience as they are trying to appeal
to everyone and that didn’t work for them. Others have made it work
because they’ve set the stage better. We want the love to happen
because we feel for the characters. Heck, I didn’t know Dom even
cared for Letty other than a sometimes fling till I read the synopsis
for this movie. We as the audience need something to work with and a
sudden romance isn’t gonna put female butts in the seats unless
they are being enticed by hot guys.
There are hot guys in this? Did I miss
something? I'd go for the action scenes, the fighting, the chases
but they are so over the top, it becomes laughable. Not to mention,
it's the same freaking plot as every other movie in the series. They
have to race, there's a heist of some sort and a lot of cars will be
ruined. Congratulations, I just spoiled the entire series for you.
You can thank me later. Honestly, it's time to put this thing into
retirement. It's been done to death. I foresee it making decent
money this weekend because it is Memorial Day, but it faces
competition from “The Hangover III”. My money's on “Hangover”
for the top spot this weekend with “Fast and Furious” trailing by
roughly ten million less. What say you Kit Kat?
I’m with you on this one. The
Hangover series has done far better overall and is more reachable
than the over-the-top stunts in The Fast and the Furious. It’s like
it’s trying to be The Expendables but with cars and no witty
banter. I’ll see this to have a good laugh and see what’s left of
the movie that the trailers didn’t show, even though I suspect it
will be more of the same but worse.
So there you go. See it at your own
risk. Care to say good night Kit Kat?
I take my leave back to my realm of
books gladly with hopes that I can set my mind at ease with a
carefully crafted plot. But don’t worry…I’ll be back. More bad
movies and trailers come.
I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm going on an
adventure!
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