Loki is my King

 Hey guys, I'm the ever Marvel loving girl, TheCinemaChick! If you don't know, Thor: The Dark World has finally come to theaters and fans are flocking to it. I have seen it as well, on Thursday when it was completely empty. Seriously, there was only about thirteen of us in there. I'm guessing early showings are losing steam since the last few have been utter disappointments to me. At the same time, I don't mind because even though I'm totally against distractions during a movie, I'm the jerk who never shuts up. Seriously, I notice things that I feel should be pointed out so I'm going to point them out.


I have to admit that last night, my Marvel knowledge was put to shame but that's another story for another time.


And yes, I am a week late in writing and posting this, but my sincerest apologies! I had 2 exams and 2 quizzes last week so I had to spend all my time studying so I wouldn't fail miserably. I didn't exactly do well but I didn't do horrible.


Ah, enough about my scholastic life. You're here to discuss the latest installment of Thor! I can say this right off the bat, this movie is not about Thor. This is all about that mischievous, conniving and all around, somehow loveable Loki. While he is a fairly minor character and doesn't get much screen time, he steals the entire movie. When he is present, he commands presence. You focus on him and only him. That isn't to say Thor, Jane, Odin, Frigga and Darcy are just standing around idle, but you have to admit, Tom Hiddleston brings a great charisma to the character.


I don't want to spoil this movie because it truly is worth watching. However, I didn't care for it as a whole. There were parts of it that dragged for me and there was far too much...I don't know how to say this...there were tons of flat characters. I'm sorry but Thor, not Chris Hemsworth, has absolutely no personality. He's just some big, hulking Norse god who is moping over a girl. You are Thor! He's supposed to be a badass, not some emo! Then there's Jane, who has spent the last, roughly 2 years I want to say, looking for a way to get Thor back. Seriously? You're a physicist!


I make no secret of my dislike for Jane Foster. She's about as exciting a paper towel. I'm also not a huge fan of Natalie Portman but I think she is a decent actress. This just isn't her strong suit. In “The Dark World”, she is what we like to call a Mary Sue. She's borderline useless. She has a few times where she seems like she could be useful but then she does something stupid. Her best moments come at the end during the big battle with Malekith. Before that, I don't care about her. Darcy is far more interesting, animated and she has a wicked sense of humor. I would much rather hang out with Kat Dennings.


Let's talk about the evil guy for a moment. I freaking love Christopher Eccleston. I make no secret of that. He is wonderful as Malekith and he is delightfully sinister. He's unrecognizable in full makeup but his voice is obvious. I would have loved to see more of him but his screen time is limited so it can focus more on Thor and his relationship with Jane.


Oh, can I point out how stupid Jane is? I'm not bashing her but come on! She gets trapped in a pocket universe and sees a strange object that doesn't make sense. The normal reaction would be to find a way out and get to safety. Nope. She touches the thing and becomes infected with the Aether. Seriously. I can't help but think how dumb that is. You never touch the creepy object when lost in a strange place. You don't know where that's been or who's touched it! That's something we learn as kids. Don't touch strange objects. If she hadn't touched it, she wouldn't have awakened Malekith, pit the universe in danger and oh yes...oh wait, I can't say that one. That would be a spoiler. But trust me, it's a huge surprise. I sure didn't see that one coming.


Sorry. I just really don't like Jane. The movie is fairly straight forward. This happens, which causes a chain reaction. A lot of things are shown in the trailers or if you are internet savvy, you've seen a lot of things on Pintrest, Facebook and Tumblr. By the way, whoever posted the end of the movie on Tumblr, shame on you! How dare you ruin the movie for the rest of us? And no, I did not seek out spoilers. I enjoy that site because there are loads of pages dedicated to different fandoms, like Tom Hiddleston, Supernatural, Doctor Who and lots and lots of cat pictures. Beware those sites. Spoilers ahead. Browse at your own risk.


The film felt very long to me, too long honestly. Like I said, the scenes with Loki are the best because he brings sass. There is no other way to put it. He is sarcastic and cracking jokes the whole time until...well, I can't say. Trust me, I want to say what happens but I do not believe in spoilers. Trust me, I'm going to put myself through hell this coming weekend with the Doctor Who special. I have to wait two extra days until I see it. I know...hell.


Also, let's discuss plot holes. In the first film, Thor destroys the Rainbow Bridge, making it impossible for him to go back to Earth. In “Avengers”, Loki implies that Odin used dark magic to get him there. Well...now the bridge is fixed. How did this happen? How do you fix a mythical bridge like that? Seriously, this is something that has bothered me for a while. While we're given an amazing description of Malekith and the Aether and the Dark Elves, almost nothing else gets a decent explanation. It's like, Eric Selvig's storyline. How did that come about? Why does Darcy have an assistant? Where did he come from and what is his major? I hate movies that just bring things up then never tell us why this happens. It's like we just have to accept what happens.


Basically, I can see why people are flocking to the theater to see this. It has some great action, the story is mostly solid and the characters are memorable. While Odin isn't at his best and Frigga...WHY?? I can't tell you what happens but it's almost like Joss Whedon planned this movie. If you don't understand, Whedon likes to kill characters. Ok, I just spoiled it for you. She dies. However, she dies in a badass way. The post credit scenes are mediocre, but the second isn't worth sticking around for. I know, I know, it's a Marvel movie therefore you have to by unspoken obligation to stay.


The ending was a twist I did not see coming and usually I can predict these movies. However, ir feels like a transition film. It's like, we needed to see what Thor was doing between his first movie and the second Avengers movie. Apparently, he becomes a mopey, mildly whiny man with the hots for a mortal woman. Sounds like a typical romantic comedy, only with no comedy. That's why Loki becomes a necessity for this franchise. He is bringing in the masses. Well, Tom Hiddleston has skyrocketed to stardom because of these movies. He's not really even in the first half of the film but he dominates the screen when he's there. He brings dimension to the wooden acting around him.


There are people actually petitioning to get Loki his own film and I welcome that idea. I would like to see what happened to him between “Thor” and “The Avengers”. However, if its purely a fangirl film, where its made solely to appeal to the audience because of a name, I won't see it. If a Loki film does happen, it needs a strong plot with equally strong actors.


I would say if you are going to see “Thor: The Dark World” skip the 3D. Once again, it adds absolutely nothing to the overall effect. You aren't missing anything but seeing it in 2D. I saw it in XD 3D which honestly, was a waste of money for me. Then again, I went to a triple feature so I paid a little more than the average ticket price.


Guys, I am so sorry that I have not been as active this year. I got burned out a little for some reason and for a few months, I had no desire to review. I never meant to abandon this thing entirely but I plan to rebound. I will be a better CinemaChick and I will do my best to bring you more snarky commentary on the new releases. I also plan to resume “Bad Movie Bonanza” and “Trailer Trash” with Kit Kat in the near future. I will also take another look into my past to pick up the “Back to Basics” series. I have also wanted to look at some old school Disney films and the ones you may not have seen or even heard of. I have a lot of ideas in mind so there's a lot to look forward to in the end of the year and into 2014.


For those who have stuck with me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To any potential new fans, welcome to the fold.



I'm TheCinemaChick and I am actually in class at this very moment.

The Fifth Estate

 Hello everyone, I'm the critic you love to hate (possibly) or missed in the past few months. People call me TheCinemaChick and I love movies. Now, I know I have not been around for a while, but I needed some time off. I will not explain what led to me needing this break as it is personal and my own business. This is not to sound rude, it's just that it's not a great thing and I really just don't want to discuss it with anyone.


Well, I have returned with a decent film to discuss. I know people will be flocking to the theaters to see either “Gravity”, which I hear is very intense, and “Captain Philips” which is based on a true story about a man whose boat was hijacked by Somalian pirates. While I'm sure both are excellent in their own right, I chose to see a movie that not many people were drawn towards. I decided to check out “The Fifth Estate”, starring Benedict Cumberbatch.


For those who do not know, this is a “semi autobiographical” film about the founder of WikiLeaks, the website that leaked important information online. I say “semi autobiographical” because I do not know how truthful this is. The sources always remained anonymous, but Julian Assange, the man behind the screen, chose to publish some very controversial military cables that endangered many lives. The files were classified, leaked by a mentally unstable man (Bradley Manning at the time, now Chelsea Manning) who was at the time involved in the military. Several newspapers also published this information, however, they chose to redact it. For those who don't know, redact is just a fancy way to say it was revised. The newspapers chose not to release names so the people would be safe, but Assange did not change the names.


Now, I have chosen not to investigate Julian Assange or his life because I believe that would create a bias between my personal opinions and the film itself. Politics and film can mix, as there are plenty movies like that out there. However, I believe that my own personal views should not distract me from the content of a film. I have to put what I feel aside. Needless to say, I found “The Fifth Estate to be quite fascinating. This information was completely new to me. I have never used WikiLeaks personally and I did not know who Julian Assange even was until this film.


While most of the focus is on Assange, there is someone else I should mention. He has a partner, Daniel who helps him get everything going in the beginning. Daniel is a good man, who just wants to make the world a better place. He believes in Julian's cause almost blindly, so he follows. As the film goes on, he realizes that his work has not been entirely honest. People have died because of the things that were posted online, which makes him have second thoughts. The dividing moment comes when Julian refuses to redact the military documents. Daniel chooses to sabotage Julian so that they can help more people. However, the information is released anyway.


To be honest, the content and dialogue didn't exactly thrill me, which is ironic since this is being billed as a thriller. At best, I would call it a cyber drama. The main focus is on the information technology, along with privacy and how much is too much. It also shows how power, when not shared equally, can cause a kingdom to crumble. One brilliant moment in the film comes when there is a confrontation between Julian and Daniel and Julian suspends Daniel on the spot. It becomes incredibly clear to both the character and the audience that ego has become a huge problem in the relationship. Ties are severed and Assange goes on.


Overall, I was not entirely impressed with “The Fifth Estate”. The dialogue did not fare well and there were times when it was nothing but long monologues from Julian about his past or his brilliance; granted, they did provide an insight to his mindset. As the film progresses, Daniel practically becomes a background character until the climax. Julian begins dominating the plot and screen. The longer this goes on, the more crazed, almost obsessed he becomes with uncovering the truth. At the end, there is a printed epilogue that explains what happened to Assange: from his sexual misconduct charges to his political asylum in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. There are also several scenes of Cumberbatch reenacting actual interviews from Assange. I had not known about these interviews and thought they were part of the script. The final ten minutes of “The Fifth Estate” were cinematic perfection with the mixing of text and dialogue.


Another misstep is the overuse of montages and cut aways. Many of the montages were very rapid and did not give me a chance to understand what I was supposed to be seeing. For instance, the opening credits double as a history in communication. It starts with hieroglyphs, working its way to the printed word to typewriters to modern email. However, it all goes so fast that there are several things missed. If you were not paying close attention, like me, it was easy to miss something. Another issue came when Julian and Daniel would be working together and there were bits of programming code or an online chat floating on screen, blocking the actor's face. It didn't seem necessary at all. We, the audience, already know what's going on, so why does it need to be projected like that? Also, there would be scenes where Daniel and Julian would be in a nonexistent office and I did not understand the relevance of this until later in the film. It is a metaphor for Wikileaks itself.


While the visuals and overall feel did not impress me, I will say this: the two main actors, Daniel Buhr and Benedict Cumberbatch were flawless. Their acting was highly impressive to say the least. As I said, I chose not to research Julian Assange, but I did watch a brief clip of an interview he did, just to hear his voice and see what he looks like. Cumberbatch copied the accent and slight lips and it truly sounded identical to Assange. The two men even look similar. Daniel Buhr is an emotional driving force. He shows wonderful emotions, ranging the gambit from pure joy to utter frustration. There was no need to say how he felt as every change in emotion was apparent on his face. Sadly, none of the other characters were as memorable, even though there were some great names involved in the movie. David Thewlis (The Harry Potter series) and Peter Capaldi (Torchwood) worked with the British newspaper but are not very noticeable. Thewlis gets a decent amount of screen time but Capaldi barely gets any.


This film has not been considered a success so far. It's barely made $2,000,000 in its opening weekend. It has received a wide variety of critiques, ranging from negative to praise. It seems most people are mixed on this. Some say its melodramatic while others consider it a nihilistic thriller. And if you don't know what nihilistic means, it's basically a rejection of law and institutions. While I still do not consider it a thriller, I will agree with calling it nihilistic. It is not like many of the films I have seen this year. It is not in chronological order. The film starts at the end, the immediately jumps two years back and starts from there until it reaches the beginning scene once more.


While I don't see “The Fifth Estate” as the next Best Picture Oscar winner, I do foresee both Buhr and Cumberbatch getting much more praise and recognition for their portrayals of Daniel Berg and Julian Assange. They are undeniably the driving force of the film and create a wonderful atmosphere that goes from friendly, almost brotherly, to tense and heartless. Both men have earned a greater appreciation from me and I look forward to seeing more from both actors in the future.


I would not discourage anyone from seeing this film. It's a great adaptation of two books, which can be difficult to do. Staying true to one book is hard enough but managing to use two is a feat that was done well. Cumberbatch, though completely recognizable, embodies Assange. The run time is a little over two hours and sometimes it does feel like its longer but its more than worth it. The climax when Assange realizes he's been hacked and Berg is relieved that he has stopped his once friend is power packed. I must go back to the epilogues, which, for me, where the best part. It's a chance for Cumberbatch to really show off his acting skills, He has been a busy man, starring in “The Hobbit” trilogy, “Star Trek Into Darkness” and returning to the set of “Sherlock”. I do not see his career slowing down at all in the near future.



I'm TheCinemaChick and I have a golden ticket...somewhere.

Fish Fingers and Custard

An Open Letter to Steven Moffat

Hey guys, I'm a film blogger and I go by the name TheCinemaChick. I also happen to be a “Whovian”, a person who is a committed fan of the BBC show, “Doctor Who”. For some people, its just that, a show. It's a strange story of a mad man traveling all of time and space in a blue phone box. To them, it doesn't make sense. If you're someone like you, you see past the premise and learn to love The Doctor himself. You see, The Doctor is a character played by an actor. I will never understand why someone prefers Eleven to Nine or Ten. He's the same man, just a different face.

But I am not writing about the arrival of the twelfth Doctor. In fact, I welcome Peter Capaldi with open, albeit cautious arms. I say cautious because I am not familiar with his work. As stated, this isn't about which Doctor I prefer. I am choosing to write this because I want everyone to know why someone like me, watches “Doctor Who” on a regular basis. If this should ever come to Steven Moffat's attention, I will make a shirt that says “Moffat is my king” on it or something, then take a picture of myself wearing said shirt and put it here.

I am an average nobody. I don't stand out, I'm not incredibly important to some business and I'm not famous. In fact, I'm pretty sure a lot of my readers are. We're not CEO's or millionaires. We are just regular people living ordinary lives. For one hour, we get the chance to travel to world's we'll never see and meet amazing people we want to know. Many people have also connected, dare I say it, bonded over the show. I got my friend Kathryn watching it and not to long after that, my friend Ashley joined the Who side.

A lot of people grew up watching the show, but I was not one of them. My story of how I came to love the show starts with me hating it. The first time I watched it, Billie Piper had just joined Christopher Eccleston and they were in Cardiff with Charles Dickens. I remember seeing a maid in a stone door saying, “Pity the Gelth” as a man in dark clothes watched on, a blond woman at his side. I had no idea what I had seen, so I ignored it. That is, until I discovered Matt Smith. This episode was even weirder than this first. A young man stood before a giant eyeball, raised his arms and yelled, “Who da man?” only to receive horrified looks from others.

The third episode I saw had a man named David Tennant. He was with a copy of himself, a feisty redhead, the blonde and one of the saddest goodbyes I have ever seen on television. Since then, I have found myself hooked on the show known as “Doctor Who”.

What non-Whovians don't seem to understand is that we don't just watch the show for the adventures. It is so much more than a mad man with a box. I cannot speak for everyone but I can only go on record saying what the show has meant to me. To me, “Doctor Who” is about the adventures of a man, who has lost everything and is trying to find meaning in his life. For me, the Doctor has been a source of inspiration, laughter, inspiration and a means of coping with loss.

The Doctor has lost so many people in his life, making hims a sympathetic character. He is relate-able in so many ways. For me, I felt like I understood his pain. Losing Amy and Rory was traumatic for him. I will admit, watching “The Angels Take Manhattan” made me cry. However, that episode helped me to cope with my own loss. Not too long after the Ponds were gone, I lost my mother to cancer. I knew how Eleven felt when he watched his family vanish before his very eyes. I had to do the same thing.

After losing my mom, I slipped into a deep depression. I lost interest in everything, had no desire to try and get out, absolutely nothing. Just waking up in the morning was a huge effort for me. For the first time, I had to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mother, which was like a punch in the chest. When I saw “The Snowmen”, things began to change. The Doctor did the exact same thing I did. We had both withdrawn from the world, unable to face our lives without the people who meant the most to us. As the Doctor returned to his normal self, so did I. It was like we were going through everything together.

For most people, that sounds fairly nonsensical. How could a television show be such a huge impact on a person? The answer is actually quite simple. There are elements of the person watching the show in the show itself. No matter what the Doctor goes through, a person can relate to it in some way. For instance, “The Rings of Akhatan” shows that the smallest sacrifice can have the biggest impact on another person's life. “A Town Called Mercy” proved that lonliness can be a person's biggest folly. Loneliness can make a person depressed to the point of anger and indifference.

As I said, I am a normal, average woman. While I know that the TARDIS will not magically appear in my yard and a 1200 year old Time Lord won't take me on adventures, the idea gives me hope. Perhaps one day I will find a companion (whether it be platonic friend, partner or spouse) who will go on unexpected journeys with me. The Doctor shows me that even when life seems like it cannot get any worse, things can and will get better. If you lose someone, they are not gone as long as their memory lives on in our hearts. I think my favorite lesson of all time is knowing that no matter how insignificant you feel, you are important.

I suppose I should edit my statement. I am not normal. Like a lot of people, I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I have severe depression. There are many times when I feel as though no one cares about me and that maybe things would be better if I were gone. By gone, I mean leaving my family and friends behind. During times like this, I remember that everyone is important for some reason or another. Donna Noble taught me that even when life seems like a total drag, you could be the most important person in the universe. No one is worthless. Nobody is useless. I know this because the Doctor believes in us all.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, thank you Steven Moffat. While you write some of the most heart wrenching stories, you also provide millions of fans with episodes that stick with us in our minds and hearts for years to come. It it not just you, but every single person who has contributed to the “Doctor Who” show, starting way back in 1963 with William Hartnell. Now, as Whovians prepare their hearts to say goodbye to Matt Smith, we anticipate the arrival of Peter Capaldi.

To everyone who has ever worked on the show, past or present, please know how important you are to each and every Whovian out there. We find companionship in other die hard fans and joy in converting others into fans.

Please keep bringing us a source of hope, happiness, sadness and inspiration. So long as there are new episodes to look forward to, we will always be more than happy to watch them, our jelly babies and fish fingers and custard at hand.

My story may seem like it's lame or not worth telling. I wanted to share how “Doctor Who” has helped me with my own struggles, with my dark times and how it will always be the show that brought me closer to some of my friends. Life truly is a pile of good things and a pile of bad things, but in the end, life is a mix of the two. You have to take the good with the bad. I believe in the Doctor.

Besides, I'll just be a story in the end, right? I might as well make it a good one.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Believed

TheCinemaChick

Nine Mini Reviews!

 Hey guys, how's it going? I'm TheCinemaChick and I know, I know...I've been rather silent lately. I've got stuff going on, like a huge breakup that caught me off guard and a business math class which I actually enjoy. I know, what a shock. Me enjoying a math class. Well, I want to learn more about business and investments. As far as the breakup...that one took a toll on me. I really liked this guy and he comes at me with “I don't think I love you and I've been lying about it for a while.” Really? I'd rather you break my heart and get it over with than be lied to! Ugh. Men.

Enough about my depressing romantic life, I have so much to tell you guys. First, I'm going to do a brief summary of all the films I've seen since my last review, just because I feel the need to get my opinion out there. Ok, so this one may be a little on the long side, but you know you enjoy my lovely little reviews...otherwise, you wouldn't be here...well, I suppose it's a pity view...

So, since I am about nine reviews behind, let's do something I have never done before. Let's do a bunch of mini reviews since I really don't want to write nine full length ones. Besides, I have other things I need to get to. So, let's get started shall we?

1. Mud
   Didn't hear about this one? Not many people paid attention to it, which is sad. It's a Southern coming of age story with a romance worked in. Two boys find a convict living on a small island thing and he asks for their help. They rebuild a boat that's in a tree while trying to help Mud reunite with his lady love. The boys learn a lot and Mud finds out his lady is a tramp. After a bloody shoot out, Mud vanishes with a friend.
   This one felt long and it was a bit confusing for me, but overall, it was amazing. Matthew McConaughey stars as the titular character and honestly, he needs to be nominated for a Golden Globe for that. Without saying much, he conveys intense, passionate emotions. The story gets a little depressing but its more than worth it. Check this one out.
2. The Purge
   We've all seen this one. Family in lockdown, creepy people outside, terror ensues. Only, it's not like that at all. In the “new America” there is one night a year everyone is allowed to do whatever they want, without getting in trouble, in order to weed out the weak. This is called “The Purge” (obviously). It's supposed to show that people are greedy and selfish, I guess, but that one mistake can kill everyone...no...I'm not sure what the moral is with this one, if there is one at all.
   Typical horror movie. It's boring, it's predictable and so cliched. After a while, I stopped caring about the family and was wanting the murderous people outside to get them. However, the absolutely best performance was the Smiling Leader. He is delightfully creepy. And there's nothing off about him, he is just threatening this family while being incredibly patient and polite. And the big twist is that the neighbors want to kill the family, but that's painfully obvious from the beginning. Skip this one. It's a typical, bland horror movie that fails.
3. Now You See Me
   Ah yes, the movie about magicians who end up being bank robbers. This was hyped so much and ended up being so mediocre. Every trick they do is explained, so that kills the mystery of it all. And after all this time stealing money and giving it away, it turns out that they were doing it in order to get into some secret society. So it was sort of a tease, then does something so random it doesn't entirely make sense. I will admit, the twist was rather unexpected. That's about the only thing I liked. I don't care for Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fiser, or Dave Franco. They're decent actors and all, I just think they have all have some major faults that I can't seem to overlook.
   The twist ending is not worth the price of admission. It's a half witted mystery, action, cop movie that ends with the cop getting the girl. I can't tell you the entire ending because you know me. I don't like spoilers.
4. This Is The End
   What can I say about this one? It's an apocalyptic stoner buddy comic movie. I cannot think of any other way to describe this one. James Franco, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride and Craig Anderson are all trapped in Franco's house as the world ends around them. That's the entire plot. If I go into much more detail, I'll give away massive spoilers.
   This movie had me laughing almost nonstop. From Emma Watson robbing them to Channing Tatum inside joke I now have, it's just hilarious. I didn't think I'd like it this much but it is one of the best movies I have seen this year. You will never look at him the same way again. And of course, if you've noticed from the trailers, a song by the Backstreet Boys is played. Yeah, that is explained in the movie. It's crude, it's trashy, its raunchy and there is an overabundance of drug use, but it it hilarious. As a warning...male nudity. If you've seen it, you know what I mean by that. If you haven't...be prepared for it.
5. Despicable Me 2
   In all honesty, this one's predictable, childish and ends just how you think it will. There aren't any real surprises in it. However, it's cute. The minions are back and just as adorable as before. The girls are still there, though in a severely reduced way. It's pretty much the same with Dr. Nefario. However, the interactions between Gru and Lucy are good. You know they are going to fall in love and get married almost immediately, but its ok.
   If you're looking for something the whole family can enjoy, then this one is for you. It's got some adult humor, but its got a lot to offer the children. There's also a guard chicken and the guacamole hat of shame. A definite must see.
6. The Lone Ranger
   Another Disney dud. In all honesty, I did enjoyed it, however, I hated the way they told the story. I'm normally ok with the older person telling a tale to the kids, but this one detracted from the film. It had moments where it was great but it also dragged a lot to the point where I was bored. And many critics have been harsh on Johnny Depp as Tonto, saying its basically Jack Sparrow in another package. Sadly, that is true. Tonto is just a toned down Jack Sparrow.
   Don't skip this one because it is genuinely entertaining but overall, I think Disney needs to rethink a few things. Like, oh, I don't know, something more original and possibly not with Johnny Depp in it?
7. Pacific Rim
   I hated this one. I was bored, fell asleep for a little while and overall, failed to see the big deal about it. It's giant robots fighting monsters in, where else, Japan. The problem I had with this movie is that they told you everything in the first ten minutes. You knew the problem, how they planned to solve it and how they were keeping the world safe. There was no mystery to it. Why stretch this out into what felt like three hours if you're just going to tell us the entire plot right off the bat? And the actors...where did you find them? They all sucked! No one seemed capable of showing emotion, so they were all very stiff and wooden. I found it hard to care about anyone, even the ones who deserved sympathy.
   I can see why people liked it but its just not a movie for me. I saw it as Power Rangers on steroids. Boring, bland, uneventful. Though Ron Perlman made me laugh. He was the one upside to this.
8. All That Echoes: A Josh Groban Experience
   It was Josh Groban in concert with some footage of him making the album. Turns out they'll be showing it on PBS next month.
   I liked it, but I love his music.
9. The Conjuring
   I consider myself a horror movie snob. I know all the cliches and I usually find them horribly predictable. It's like, if this happens, then you know this will be the consequence. So its like, what's the point? It'll follow the formula and I'll know the ending in about five minutes.
   Well...this one did it differently.
   Yes, “The Conjuring” follows all those rules, but they managed to do it in a way I did not expect. Like, a girl was standing in front of a door, so I thought the door would be knocked down and she'd be in trouble. Nope. Instead, it was in a different room, where an old woman sat combing a doll's hair. What made this all so freaky was that doll. Seriously, if you've seen Annabelle, you know what I'm talking about. That doll is terrifying. This is one of the rare films where I was actually scared. They did little things that I didn't see coming which made it really unnerving. I'm referring to the the scene where the mom gets possessed. Yeah, again, if you've seen it, you know.
   This is one worth seeing, even if you are a horror movie snob like me.

Well, there we go! 9 films in one review! Up next, The Wolverine and why the post credit scene made me go all fangirl!

Until then, I'm TheCinemaChick and for all you know, I don't actually exist.

Better Late Than Never: Man of Steel

 Hey everyone, you can call me TheCinemaChick and oh my goodness am I royally behind in my reviews. I've got five I need to work on, including “Despicable Me 2” and “The Lone Ranger”. So, lets start with the oldest and work our way to the newest. So, on my movie list, I see that “Man of Steel” is the first one I need to touch on. Oh yes, I have a lot to discuss with that one.

I'm not a huge Superman fan. I'm not really into DC in general. But I bought into the hype, thought this could be good and not much of a shock, it wasn't that good. Visually its beautiful, but overall, its just bland. The script was poor, the acting was subpar at best and honestly, Amy Adams was horribly miscast. Then there's Russell Crowe, but we will get to him in a bit. Trust me, I have a lot to say about him and how he was just unnecessary.

“Man of Steel” is a reboot of a reboot. We just had a Superman movie not to long ago with Brandon Routh so I'm not really sure why this one seemed like it was needed. Also, I don't like Zack Snyder. His style is so specific that he does not leave any room for change. It was to be a matte color, comic book style jumbled mess. Don't believe me? Go watch “Suckerpunch” then tell me I'm wrong. I know every director likes to put his mark on their film, but this is absurd. I would like to see him do something different, that doesn't automatically remind me of all his previous films. Most directors grow as their careers go on Mr. Snyder. You may want to consider that.

Now, the movie is incredibly disjointed. We start off on Krypton where he is born. Apparently, according to this film, babies are created. He is the first naturally born child in like...centuries. This opening scene last roughly fifteen minutes and it really did not explain anything other than this is how he got to Earth and why Zod hates him. Which really, General Zod doesn't hate Kal-El, he hates Jor-El, his father. Well, Zod gets punished for the murders by getting encapsulated in ice. Not to be a pervert or anything but those massive icicles look incredibly phallic. There is actually a lot of phallic imagery throughout but I'll let you be the judge of that.

The film on most levels falls flat. Clark Kent basically has no flaws throughout the entire film. He saves men, he fixes things, he's just perfect. The only time he really has a problem is when his powers first show up and he basically has a nervous breakdown in class. Other than that, he's a deus ex machina (God machine...it's a literary thing). The best scenes were the ones where Clark had to interact with his parents Diane Lane and Kevin Costner. It is in these moments where he is most human and most relate-able. Beyond that, he's too perfect.

And then there's Russell Crowe. The man dies not even ten minutes into the film but he keeps coming back. Apparently he has downloaded himself into a spaceship. What? Is he River Song now? I just don't get it. Is this movie lacking so much star power that we have to have him pop up everywhere. The worst part? He takes away all the guess work. Like, towards the end when Superman and Lois are trying to escape a ship, there's Crowe to guide them every step of the way. Ok, honestly, why? Is Superman that incompetent?

And its not that this movie was bad. It just wasn't good. It had a lot of hype, a ton of promotion and it just didn't impress me. The characters are somehow stupider, everyone just stands around like morons and at the end, I just didn't care about anyone. Clark lets his father die at one point just so he won't scare people. Dude, you are Superman! Save your dad!

I'll admit, I don't care for Henry Cavill, but he did a decent job at least looking like he was properly cast. It was when he opened his mouth that I had issues. The dialogue was just lame. The jokes aren't funny and it almost turns into an after school special at points. I understand Superman has a sense of right and wrong, but come on! Zod is destroying the planet and you take issue with killing him? How many people has he killed with all his destruction? Oh yes, not to mention, he's sort of the reason your family is dead and he wants to kill you too. Superman, grow a spine and save the planet, like you are supposed to!

I wanted to like this. I hoped “Man of Steel” would surpass my expectations and it barely touched them. I miss the older movies from this franchise, the ones that were a bit more family friendly, less boring and had more action. Sure, the Christopher Reeve films seem a bit cheesy now but they are still superior to this one. That's a huge problem with this one. It tries to get way too serious and way too deep when it really shouldn't. Yes, I get it, Clark Kent is an alien who has lost his home world, his parents, borderline everything, but he has family on Earth. If you think about it, he's got it pretty good. Friends, family, super powers, a job...what does he have to be so emo about?

I know this one has been out for a while, so check it out in the dollar theater. Skip the 3D and save yourself the money. It wasn't impressive, it was boring at times and Superman needed to suck it up. Also, this is a bit...wrong...but I think Superman SHOULD have the red trunks on the outside. It is iconic! In this one...I was very uncomfortable when they used certain angles. It goes back to the phallic thing. They would use angles that sort of emphasized the costume being different and in the process, there's his crotch. Well, if you didn't know beforehand, this movie will reinforce that he is indeed male.

Do yourself a favor and wait. I still don't like Zack Snyder or his style.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm still horribly behind.

My Little Pony Mystery Bag

We have a theme with this one.  It's fairly obvious.  If you don't get it...well...hopefully you will know when its over.

World Market Mystery Bag

If you think the audio sucks here...we used my laptop.  Mine is clearly inferior to hers.  Enjoy the mochi and chocolate bacon!