Burlesque

Hello again fellow moviegoers!

It's me, TheCinemaChick and tonight, instead of doing algebra like I should be doing, I'm going to talk about a movie I did not enjoy, Burlesque.

First off, if there is something significant that happened in the first ten minutes that applies to the rest of the movie, I missed it.  At the theater I was at, the sound was messed up, so I didn't hear anything.  Beyond that, I heard everything, though I wish I hadn't..
Burlesque is another one of those movies where you can predict what will happen.  We've got Christina Aguilera as our star, Ali and Cher as Tess, the owner of a club in California.  Ali wants to be a star so she packs up and heads for Hollywood.  She gets a hotel room and hides a small sum of cash, in case she needs it.
(Perhaps it's just me, but doesn't this sound exactly like the plot of Coyote Ugly?)
Ali looks for a job so she can get money.  While on her hunt she discovers a club called, what else, Burlesque.  There are several girls who work there, but don't bother getting to know them. They're like an afterthought.  The only girl who is really even relevant is Tess, who owns and still performs.  Ali then meets Jack the bartender, played my Cam Gigandet.  You know this guy, he played James in Twilight.  I personally loathe the Twilight series for reasons I won't go into, but I will admit, I love the character of James.  Anyway, in Burlesque, he wears a lot of eyeliner, excuse me, guyliner.  Ali wants a job, Jack sends her to Tess, Tess says no, so Ali starts working anyway.  Excited yet?
Well, this goes on for some condensed length of time until Ali's hotel room gets broken into.  The place is wrecked up and someone steals her emergency money.  I'm sorry, this sounds even more like Coyote Ugly.  Ali decides she needs to live somehwere else, so she finds Jack's place.  He agrees to let her live there and you know what that means, a budding romance.  But oh no, Jack already has a girlfriend...who lives in New York!  What a twist!  Things go well and Ali becomes a part of the show at the club.  Of course, another dancer gets jealous and attempts to sabotage Ali's debut.  However, Ali sings without music and suddenly she's the star.
This is the point where I really started hating it.  The entire movie is centered around Christina Aguilera, and she has what seems like a dozen songs.  It gets boring, I mean really boring.  The relationship aspect takes a backseat, as do most of the characters and even the plot.  Prepare for a lot of singing.  Of course, there is a wedding at some point where Jack gets drunk and breaks up with his long distance girlfriend.  He and Ali go back to his apartment, which she has completely taken over.  She agrees to sleep on the couch while he changes into some horrible red pajamas with hearts on them.  He claims his mother bought them.
I'll admit, I loved this scene because it was funny.  Jack keeps disappearing into the bedroom, shutting the door and opening it, each time with one less item of clothing.  Credit to Cam Gigandet, he has a nice ass.
Then if just gets boring again.  Ali begins seeing some jerk football player who doesn't care about her, leaves Jack when his ex comes storming angrily back, then reunites with him at the end when he asks her to sing a song he wrote.  That's it.  The end.

TheCinemaChick's opinion?
Don't bother.  It's like a cheap ripoff of Coyote Ugly.  I wasn't a huge fan of Coyote Ugly to begin with, but at least it was a little more original.
During the movie, I actually told my friend (I'll call her Fry.  She deserves to be mentioned more since I see most of these movies with her) that watching this movie was painful.  I'm not trying to make myself sound like I'm better than the Hollywood people, but I do have vocal training.  I think the music, while catchy, can't even save this movie.  There were two songs I liked, "Burlesque" which is the introduction to the main plot of the film and the ballad, "You Haven't Seen The Last of Me".  Both songs were performed by Cher, also the only ones she does.  The second song was nominated for and won a Golden Globe, which is respectable.  Everything else is sung by Christina Aguilera.
It's a terrible film, not even worth dollar theater or renting.  The previews look so enticing, but trust me, it's nothing like that in the movie.  There's a lot of gay jokes, bitchy backstabbing and general cattiness.  There is too much emphasis put on Christina Aguilera.  Cher is the true star and I wish she had more screen time.

If you want to watch a musical, go for something else.  I would even say that I would much rather sit through The Last Airbender in 3D again.  Since I don't want to relive that movie, I do not want to review it.

You know...I think my next review, I will cover two movies, very different from each other.  I will cover 127 Hours with James Franco and Tangled, the latest Disney animated movie.  I liked both and will admit, I think James Franco deserved his Oscar nomination.  However, I am torn on who I want to win for Best Male Actor.  I wish Colin Firth and James Franco could win.
If only...

Well, that's all for now!
I'm TheCinemaChick and I bid you happy movie watching.