Hello, I'm your friendly neighborhood moviegoer, TheCinemaChick!
As you can see by my title, I've got two films to discuss in this one. Today I watched both Rango and I Am Number Four. So yes, I spent a good five hours in my local theater to see two movies that weren't exactly spectacular. While they are not complete failures, they aren't something I'd like to see again and again or own on DVD for that matter. So here we go, on the the movies.
Now, I was pretty excited to see Rango. I'm a fan of Johnny Depp and I'll admit that I've seen pretty much every movie he's ever made. He's incredibly versatile as an actor. Now, as you have seen in the previews, it's an animated romp through a make believe town. If you're not a fan of westerns, you'll actually like this. Like many cartoons, it's got sight gags and bad humor running throughout the entire thing.
Here's what I think.
It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really good. We start off with a lizard performing what I assume was Shakespeare in a tank when the car hits a bump and the tank falls out. He meets Roadkill (that is the flattened armadillo's name. Look it up.) who tells him he needs to find enlightenment. Rango ventures through the desert, dodging foes and sleeping in a pipe that flushes him out. He then meets Beans. Again, I'm serious. His love interest is named Beans, because her father loved beans. She takes him back to the city of Dirt, where there is a water shortage. The citizens of Dirt are desperate for water and even do a rain dance, which takes place every Wednesday at noon to get some water from a rusty spigot. For some reason, the spigot has run dry and the bank only has 5 days worth.
Rango is made the sheriff after lying about who he is in order to fit in with his surroundings. This should be a joke since he is a chameleon, but it's not so funny. The animals are never identified, you just have to guess at what they are. 10 points if you guess what Beans is without looking it up. So, as the sheriff, Rango embarks on a journey to find the water.
Ok, since this movie, JUST came out, I'm not going to delve into the plot much. I want to give everyone a chance to see it and form their own opinion. I did enjoy it and I would see it again with someone who hasn't seen it.
However, I would not take small children to see this. There is cursing, alcohol references and lots of smoking. Not to mention, a lot of guns, mild violence and several characters die. The voice cast is amazing. Isla Fischer didn't quite cut it as a Southern girl in a western town, but she passes. Same goes for Bill Nighy. There are little references and visual cues that you'll miss that are actually really funny.
Here's my problem:
No background information is given. You just pick up in the middle of one thing and go off into another. Also, we have a population issue. There are so many characters that I lost track of who was who and what role they played. Again, this is marketed as a children's movie, but don't take them to see it unless they're over thirteen. It's a Nickelodeon, not Disney. Some of the humor is crude and the language wasn't necessary.
Overall, it was just ok. I liked it but it didn't wow me like I thought it would. I would say to go see it however. It's a funny western with a lot of things that kids won't get. Like, the character Wounded Bird, who is literally a wounded bird.
Go forth and see Rango.
Now...I Am Number Four.
Visually, it was great. Overall, it was just mediocre.
See, we have children from the planet Lorien who have come to Earth for protection. The problem is the first three of nine are dead. In fact, the movie begins with the death of number three. Here's what I think. If you're going to introduce us to this fantastical race of aliens and a battle of races, give us background information. You are literally thrown into this knowing nothing. After the first death, Number Four (known as Daniel, later known as John) feels the death of his...well, I don't know the relation of the numbers. I guess they're siblings in a way. Number Four has a light shine out of his calf, causing alarm with his lady friend that is in the water with him. The next day, Henri, his guardian, tells him it's time to move on so they can remain hidden. So they head to paradise.
Paradise, Ohio.
Here's the time when I start having some real problems with the movie. Henri and John move into a house with a foreclosure sign in the yard. Somehow, they have running water, electricity and internet. Never explains how or why this is possible. Welcome to a plot hole. There will be tons more. So, while John Smith adjust to yet another new life, we see his old house on the beach being torched by a bad ass looking, blonde biker chick. She's important, so remember her. Well, John falls for Sarah, a local photographer who is one of those "I'm so pretty, but I don't think I am" kinds of girls. I hate that. We get it, you're hot, but you're misunderstood so no one gets you. Poor girl.
John has a run in with the popular kids, befriends the school nerd and still manages to keep the girl, even when his powers begin to show up. He can make light with his hands. Yes, he's a human flashlight. But, forget about the powers for now because they won't show up again for a long time. Typical teenage human activities ensue. Oh, there is also the antagonist, a small group of hunters, the Mogadorians. I called them shark men, because that's what they are. They also don't show up much until the end. I would say all of the action occurs in the final twenty minutes.
The bad ass blonde biker chick returns and announces that she's Number Six. Number Five...who knows. There is a pretty awesome fight scene with alien technology and super powers. Six, AKA Jane Doe (yeah, John Smith and Jane Doe, go figure) has the power to teleport. They defeat the Mogadorians and decided to go in search of the others, leaving Sarah, the nerd and everyone alone in Paradise.
I have a few questions that were never answered.
What happened in Lorien?
Who are the Mogadorians?
Why do the Mogadorians hate the Loriens?
What happened to Numbers 1,2,5,6,7,8 and 9?
What's going to happen to Sarah?
Where is Sam (the nerds) dad?
Why is Sam's dad so important to the plot?
What is so important about the box Henri keeps showing John?
Why was Alex Pettyfer cast as an 18 year old when he looks 28?
In short, don't bother with this one. It's three quarters high school romance flick, one quarter alien action. It will leave you confused and unsure what to think.
In the film's defense, I did not know it was based on a book. Having not read the book, that may be a reason why this movie didn't sit right with me. I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there. But yes, do not waste your money on it.
And finally, this movie is the dude's Twilight. The acting was terrible and no one ever shows emotion. I hate Twilight because the books are poorly written and the films are boring for me. I know some people love this series, but I do not. I Am Number Four, the film, is so much like Twilight, it's not even funny. Even John has the mannerisms of Bella in several scenes.
I wanted to like this movie. I love a good fantasy, sci fi, superhero film, but this just didn't cut it. Will there be a sequel? I hope not.
Well, I have just recieved some sad news and I must sign off for now. I'm off to a funeral in the next few days, but never fear. I will return.
Up next...Beastly and Red Riding Hood.
No comments:
Post a Comment