Hangovers don't always suck

Hello everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick, you're local neighborhood stalker.  Well...only if you're in my neighborhood.

Tonight (or this morning as it is 1:18 AM.  I've been having trouble sleeping lately), I'm going to discuss the newly released film, Hangover 2.  Once again, since it is very recent, I can't discuss the plot, although it you've seen the first one you already know what happens.

Quick note:  I did not see the first Hangover.  If you are wondering if you need to see it before seeing the new one, you don't have to.  You'll miss a few jokes at the beginning but that's it.  After that, it's all good.

To my surprise, I liked Hangover 2.  I did not expect to enjoy it, thinking it was purely a guy's movie.  Granted, I did see this with Butterfly and Just Joe.  They have seen the first movie and assured me that I did not miss out on much.  Hangover 2 is pretty much what you expect from what you've seen in the movies.  It's raunchy, it's lewd and it's hilarious.  There are parts I didn't like that I won't give away because I'm sure a bunch of you plan to go out and see it.  I'm still surprised I liked it so much, though when I returned home, I had an overwhelming urge to shower.

Do not take the kiddies to see this movie.  I kid you not when I say a woman brought her eleven year old to see this.  Seriously?  This movie is rated R for violence, language, nudity, drug use...why would you allow a preteen to see this?  If I were a parent to a teen, I'd feel apprehensive about letting them see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides!  As I am not a parent, I want to inform others of what is family friendly out there.  Sadly, there is nothing for the kids though I have heard good things about Rio.  I didn't see it but I heard good things.

So what's next for me?
Actually, Kit Kat and I are going to introduce ourselves and let you guys know a little more about us.  I assume you read this because you are interested in what we have to say, so why not learn more about us?  I will admit, one of my followers is a family member, so she already knows everything about me.

Coming up soon:
X-Men: First Class
Green Lantern
Captain America
Super 8
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (I will be cosplaying as Bellatrix Lestrange)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Suggestions?  Any movies you want reviewed?  TELL ME!  I live at the theater folks and I'm paid to watch these films.

Yes, I am now a paid film critic.  I'm awesome like that.

Well, it is past 1:30 so I am going to attempt to sleep.

On behalf of Butterfly, Kit Kat and Just Joe, I bid you a pleasant movie watching experience.

Savvy Mate?

Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm that weird girl you see in every movie you go to.  As you may have noticed, I've gotten terribly behind on my reviews and I apologize for that.  I finally have my motivation back, so I'm actually wanting to work now.

With that said, I bring you Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

First of all, I think At World's End, the third Pirates movie, gave away the plot for this, so do I need to go over it?  Not really but the basic idea is the search for the Fountain of Youth.  This movie also is the first one without Will Turner or Elizabeth Swann, but really, their story ended with the third film.  Instead, we have a missionary named Philip and a mermaid named Syrena.  I'm not going to tell you how that little love affair ends because honestly, I'm not sure how it ended.  It was so ambiguous that I don't know if he died or went to a better place or went back to the missionary.

But yes, this movie is filled with the usual goodness.  Pirates, lots of laughs, adventure, everything we have come to expect from the franchise.  I was pleased to see Keith Richard's reprise his brief role as Jack Sparrow's father, Captain Teagues.  He's in the movie for a whopping two minutes and you already see it in the previews, but it's still gold.

Overall, I loved the movie.  I can't hate anything with Johnny Depp in it.  I'm a huge fan of his and have a hard time saying anything bad about him at all.  I also love Geoffrey Rush.  Put those two in a movie together...I'm a happy critic.  Plus, I am a proud fangirl.  Yes, I said it.  I, TheCinemaChick, am a fangirl of many things, Pirates of the Caribbean being one of them.

By the way, Happy Geek Pride Day!

If you can, see it in 2D.  I saw it in 3D and it did nothing for me.  There was one effect towards the end that was pretty badass, but other than that, nothing.  It wasn't special for me.  I don't care for 3D in general anyway, though I am going to see Thor again, this time in 3D.  While I already know I loved the movie, the CGI stuff made me curious.  I want to experience in in mind boggling 3D.

Well, that's all I have to say.  I loved the new Pirates film, though it did have a LOT of sexual innuendo.  I laughed, I enjoyed it and I ate a pickle.  Yes, I eat pickles during movies.

It's the summer movie season, so my plate is full.  I cannot wait to go out and see Hollywood has to offer us.  And of course, I'll be here to guide you through it.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and I love being a critic.  See you again soon, folks.

To go against the church is to go against God

Hey everyone, TheCinemaChick here and it's time for my second review of the night.  I just finished with "Something Borrowed" and will now move on to "Priest".

First off, I didn't really want to see this movie to begin with.  The vampire craze is coming to a close and I guess the writers wanted to capitalize on it one last time.  I will give "Priest" credit by saying it was one of the better modern vampire films out there.  There was no tortured soul in love with the sociopath human who is incapable of shutting her mouth (AKA The Twilight series.  Stay tuned for my rant on that later.)

The movie starts with a flashback of the priests invading a hive of vampires.  Yeah...not sure why there is a hive but lets roll with it.  We are then taken to modern (or future) day.  The main cities have been walled in to protect humans from the vampire menace.  The church is more like a giant monopoly, dictating what people do and how they will do it.  There are even video confessionals lined up along the street.

Now, there are some homes outside of the cities called outposts.  It's dangerous to live in them but some people choose to.  Apparently Stephen Moyer decided it was a good idea, along with his wife and "daughter".  More on why I phrase it that way later.  They are attacked and Lucy, the "daughter", is kidnapped.

Paul Bettany plays Priest...who only goes by that name...and is confronted by Hicks, who is a sheriff.  Hicks tells Priest about Lucy and they head off on an adventure.  This is where the movie gets long.  They travel from place to place looking for the vampires and for me, the action never got going.  It never got to a point where it was exciting.  The film would lead up to something that could be potentially great then failed.

And at some point, Priest admits that Lucy is his daughter and that Stephen Moyer has been playing along with the lie for years.  What the hell?  And the way he admits it is so casual its like he doesn't really even care about the situation.  Priest is more concerned with killing the vampires than his family.  The acting was terrible, not just mediocre but terrible.

The plot was straightforward, but once again it tried to do too many things are once.  We have the main plot going, but also a love story between Hicks and Lucy, then a sad attempt at a love story between Priest and Priestess which never evolves at all.  And while we're on the topic of failure, what the hell was up with the setting?  Is this futuristic or set in a Western?  Also, why is NO ONE bothered by the clearly late 30s man being with the 18 year old girl?  Does no one else find that a little unsettling?  Why was the opening monolgue animated?  Why did the ending leave it open for a possible sequel?  Will Paul Bettany ever find a role in a movie that doesn't suck?  Why does Cam Gigandet pick such horrible roles?  Who thought it would be a good idea to show this in 3D?

*pauses to regain composure*

As you can see, I didn't like this movie.  I only saw it because it was Butterfly's birthday and it was his pick.  He liked it, as did our mutual companion Just Joe.  At least I think Just Joe liked it.

TheCinemaChick, what did you like about this movie...if anything?
Karl Urban as the villain.  Seriously, that's it.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm going to rest my brain and prepare to write a movie I actually did somewhat enjoy.
Next on my series of three...Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Something Borrowed, something unoriginal

Hey everyone, it's your friendly neighborhood critic, TheCinemaChick.  I know, I know, I haven't posted anything since Thor.  Honestly, I've hit a slump that I cannot seem to get out of.  I've lost interest in damn near everything and to make matters worse...I'm having man troubles.  Seven years with a guy and he up and leaves...ah, enough about my personal life.  You don't read my blog for my life.

And now...Something Borrowed.

This movie is about Rachel, who is in love with Dex, who is engaged to Darcy who is sleeping with Marcus and is pregnant by him.Rachel and Dex sleep together at the beginning of the movie and spend the rest of it trying to keep it a secret and hide it from Darcy.  They spend weekends in the Hamptons together so in order to help her cope, Ethan (Rachel's friend) is brought along.  Ethan has his own problems because another friend, Claire, slept with him and is now determined to get with him again.  However, he has no intention to be with her, going so far as to claim that he's gay.

Normally, I go into more detail, but honestly, that's about all you need to know.  The entire plot centers around the characters lying, covering their lies and stabbing each other in the back.  At certain points, they try to introduce side plots that never lead anywhere.  We get to meet Dex's parents midway through and the film makes a point to point out that Dex's mother has really bad depression.  She is mentioned twice but Dex constantly brings her up.  Darcy isn't even in the movie that much, nor is Marcus but they are mentioned all the time.  95% of this movie is just Dex and Rachel whining about wanting to be together but not being able to.  Here's a thought: Call of the wedding with Darcy and go with Rachel before anyone gets hurt.  Simple as that.  Sadly, I'm not a screenwriter so Hollywood didn't listen to me.  The movie keeps going.

Towards the end of the film, things go all to hell.  Darcy has her bachelor party and stays over with Rachel.  Dex shows up unannounced which complicates things so Rachel says it's Ethan coming by for a booty call.  Darcy believes it and the next morning, admits that she isn't sure she wants to marry him.  Around this time, Ethan announces that he's moving to England which shocks Rachel.  Apparently some time passes because when she goes to visit him, he's already got his place set up and everything.  While there, Ethan admits that he's in love with Rachel.  Seriously?  Is everyone in love with everyone?  I'm close to my friends but not THAT close!  Granted, there was this one time with this one guy...but still!  Friends don't get into such complicated, confusing and pretty awful situations.

What does TheCinemaChick think?
It's a stereotypical romantic comedy, minus a lot of the comedy.  It's predictable, it's boring and I don't like the "even if you screw your best friend's man and everything goes to shit, but everything turns out great in the end" message.  Seriously.  Cheating on someone like that causes major damage to friendships, relationships and even families.  Believe it or not, I stole someone's boyfriend once and she now hates me.  In my defense, their relationship was failing miserably and she introduced us.

According to my rating's system, I'd say Redbox this.  It wasn't worth the $4 I paid to see it.  I don't care for Kate Hudson and Ginnifer Goodwin isn't my new favorite actress.

TheCinemaChick, did you like anything about "Something Borrowed"?
Yes.  John Krasinski.  Go see it for him.  He is seriously the only thing I enjoyed about this film.  He provides the humor, the sarcasm and actually has a decent personality.  Other than that, skip it.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and this is part one of a three part series.  Plan on seeing two more reviews tonight because I am really behind.  Up next...Priest.

Thor...hell yeah!

Hello everyone reading this blog, or possibly reading it over someone’s shoulder!  I’m TheCinemaChick and you can find me at a theater near you…assuming you live in the same place as I do.  If you don’t…sucks for you.

Tonight, I’m tacking the newest Marvel sensation, Thor.  Ah Thor, it’s the first movie I haven’t completely hated in a while.  It’s a Kenneth Brannagh film which came as a huge shock to me.  Brannagh is known for Shakespearean acting, not action packed, comic book epics.  I have to admit, this movie freaking ROCKED!  I loved it!  I’m not only saying this because Chris Hemsworth is absolutely gorgeous and his topless scene was positively drool worthy.  He’s also an excellent actor. 

Hemsworth is fairly new to the Hollywood scene.  He doesn’t have many films under his belt yet, but Thor will catapult his career into super stardom.  So far, my predictions have been exceeded.  I told Fry I expected the movie to take in roughly thirty two million this weekend and as of an hour ago, Thor is number one at the box office with a take of sixty six million. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the summer movie season.

Because it’s still opening weekend, I won’t go into the plot today.  I’m going to give everyone a chance to experience it.  Thor is out in 3D and 2D, but I chose to see it in 2D.  After seeing it once, I’d be willing to see it in 3D.  The graphics are beyond amazing.  I’m normally not a fan of CGI, but it worked well.

As usual, Fry accompanied me to the movie.  She wasn’t as psyched as I was to see it, but she still loved it.  And in this review, I have a special guest joining me.  Let’s give a big welcome to Zaden.  She is a fellow blogger (only she is like a chef where I’m just a critic).  Zaden and I know each other from college.  I asked friends on Facebook to give their feedback on Thor.  While most of my blogs are just mine and whomever I see the film with, but I enjoy hearing what other people think.  Here’s what she thinks:

While I liked the movie over all, it was a bit cheesy at times and off the comics. I this was because to me, Loki and many of the minor characters didn't seem as natural as they could have been. I mean, Loki was like something out of a syfy special lol (but he was great none the less). For the story; while I am all for the ancient aliens theory, the whole Asgardians are aliens thing was a short run, ill received story line of the comics run in the 90s and so seems very random in that light (personally though, I liked it) and something they kinda dance around. I had a friend that didn't even catch it. Thor's dynamic seems kinda quick and contrived but the actor did great with the character. Graphics were amazing! That rainbow bridge? Hell yeah! And I loved the gatekeeper for that matter. I wish there had been more epic battles with the frost giants. I thought they were cool (pun intended!).
Overall, visually spectacular, fun and entertaining, but not quite to par with some of the other recent super hero movies.

Zaden says what I think.  Visually, the movie is amazing.  I didn’t hate the CGI in it and the scenes shot.  My mother asked about the movie when I visited her earlier, because after all, it is mother’s day.  I raved about it for probably ten minutes when she said “It’s about time you saw a movie you actually liked.”  It’s true, however, there are things I didn’t enjoy.

So now it’s time for what I did and didn’t like.

Since my list of dislikes is small and my likes are great, I’m just going to tell you what I didn’t like.  I didn’t care for the length.  Towards the end of the movie, I was getting bored.  It ran just a little too long.  Also, I don’t really like Natalie Portman’s character because I don’t think she really contributed anything to the film.  Ok, yes she’s a physicist and she researches…Norse mythology…sort of…but other than that, she’s just the typical love interest.  Also, I didn’t like the design of Asgard.  It made me think of a pipe organ.

Also, I’m on the fence about Rene Russo.  Her character did not have enough time for me to like her or dislike her.  She barely even spoke.  Either flesh the character out more or leave her out.

I’m pleased with how it ended, though it was a little sad.  There is also a bonus scene after the credits.  I don’t know what it means.  I’ve seen it and all I know is that it points to the Avengers movie, coming out in 2012.

Well, my motivation has been killed, so I’m going to call it a night.  Thank you Zaden for your commentary and check out her blog for some yummy recipes.  

Marvel, you have restored my faith in your movies.  The X-Men franchise was dealt some damage though.  I am now more willing to see a Marvel based movie because of Thor.  I’m ready for Captain America.

So, what’s next for TheCinemaChick?

Pirates of the Caribbean

Green Lantern

Something Borrowed

Bridesmaids

It’s summer movie season!!  I love my job!  

…oh yeah, I’m also a paid critic now.  My stepbrother in law said I’m a professional.  I don’t feel like one though.

I’m TheCinemaChick and on behalf of my friends and crew, I bid you a pleasant theater experience.

Happy mother’s day to my family, friends and everyone out there.

Water for Elephants

Hey everyone, I’m your friendly neighborhood theater stalker, TheCinemaChick.  I’m going to tackle a genre I am not a fan of.  That’s right, I went and saw a romance movie. To make things even better, it had Robert Pattionson of Edward Cullen fame.  It also has Reese Witherspoon as the female lead.  You’re probably wondering, “CinemaChick, you have gone on record as saying you don’t like chick flicks, why did you see this?”

The answer: I couldn’t think of anything else to see.  Nothing else appealed and I’ve already see most of the new releases.  I’m also holding out hope for May, when the summer movie season starts. 

The film is begins with an old man at a circus, who begins to have a conversation with the person who owns it.  In a very smooth transition, the old man’s voice mixes with Pattinson’s and fades into the memory.  I liked how it was done since most movies would just go to the scene and clip the man’s voice out.  It was like he was speaking directly to the audience, allowing them to get lost in his story.  From there we jump into Jacob’s tale of how he was going to school, about to take his final exam and loses his parents. 

I did have a problem with that.  This introduction to young Jacob seemed very quick and slightly jerky, which is sad.  There’s no transition, just “I’m Jacob”, “I’m a veterinary student”, “I’m at my final”, “My parents are dead”.  In five minutes or so, you’ve gotten his life story and are thrown into the main plot.  Jacob loses his house, along with everything he has so he decides to leave.  Following train tacks seems to be his best choice so he does.  When a train comes by, he decides to jump on, only to be confronted by some men.  They agree to not hurl him from the train (which I assume is not only painful, but lethal) and in the morning, he learns all about manual labor.

Jacob works as a laborer for maybe one day before he admits that he’s a veterinarian.  Well, he’s not one yet, but that doesn’t seem to bother anyone.  He works with the animals, which begins him closer to Marlena (Witherspoon).  It’s not an immediate attraction, which I liked.  Their first major interaction is where he shoots and kills a horse to end its suffering.  If that’s what they’d bonded over, this movie would have never been released.  Not only is it wrong, I’m pretty sure its illegal.  Since their main horse is dead, August (the owner of the circus and Marlena’s husband) manages to buy an elephant.  I’m not sure where he found the money to do this because they are in the depression and money is tight. 

Rosie the elephant becomes the new main attraction at the circus, but they are having trouble training her.  August’s frustration becomes more apparent, along with his alcohol problem.  He becomes more aggressive, much more violent.  There is even a scene where he takes a bull hook, a stick with a hook on the end used in elephant training, and savagely beats Rosie.  I hated August from this point on, but still cheered for Rosie.  That night, Jacob discovers the trick to training their elephant.  Who knew elephants understood Polish?

And here you have the bulk of the film: circus, Jacob and Rosie, August beating on Marlena and a lot of discord.  It’s the basic plot. 

However, Marlena and Jacob do decide to run away, jumping off the train and going to a local hotel.  There is a fairly steamy sex scene which is followed by August and his men beating Jacob and taking Marlena back.  The young man goes back to the circus, bent on saving her.  He almost leaves without her, but something goes terribly wrong.  A few other disgruntled workers release all the animals, creating havoc.  During this time, August attacks his wife, choking her with the bull hook.  Rosie seems to know that the woman cared about her because she pulls a spike from the ground and slashes August’s throat, killing him.  Jacob and Marlena leave, the circus is shut down and we return to the present time to see the old man finish his story.

What does TheCinemaChick think?

Despite my dislike of romantic chick flicks, I did enjoy this one.  It did follow a pretty stereotypical plot: they meet, they fall in love, conflict comes up, they split apart but end up happy together.  Yet it was not the tpyica love story.  She was married and she did have the inner struggle of staying with her abusive husband or running off with the young man.

And now for my favorite part, what I didn’t like.

Surprisingly, there isn’t much I didn’t like.  The pace got on my nerves because some of the movie rushed by while other parts of it seemed to drag by.  Most of the time, it was almost stagnant because there are a lot of scenes with the characters just talking.  Also, when the movie is finished, there are some fictional black and white home movies shown.  It seemed out of place and a bit forced.  Yes, we all need to know that they lived happily ever after, but I think finishing the story with old Jacob would be satisfactory.

I did enjoy the movie overall.  Reese Witherspoon does really well in this type of role, the romantic female lead.  Robert Pattinson surprised me.  I’m familiar with him only as Edward Cullen and I personally do not care for that series.  In this movie, he shows emotions well and captures the spirit of his character.  Pattinson has talent.

I do want to add this one little warning.  If you have younger children, say 13 or below, who want to see this because it has Robert Pattinson, I wouldn’t take them.  While it is suitable for most audiences, there is a lot of drinking, smoking, some gambling, mild sexual content, lots of spousal abuse and graphic animal cruelty.  I’m not sure a younger audience could handle all of this.  Older teenagers might be able to watch the brutality without flinching, but make a good call on this one.

If I had to give this a rating out of five stars, five being the best, I’d say it’s about three and a half.  It could be better.  From what I’ve been told, the movie is a fairly faithful adaptation of the book.  I would like to read the book now.

What’s next on my ever growing list of films to see?  I have no idea.  I’m not sure what I’ll see next, though Fast Five is going to be on that list.

Well, I’m TheCinemaChick and on behalf of my crew, I bid you all a pleasant theater experience.