Hello everyone and welcome back to part three of my five part analysis of the Twilight Saga. I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m quite possibly one of the few girls out there who would rather have Dracula or Lestat over Edward. So as some of you may be wondering, I have a reason for putting myself through all of this.
You see, I did read the Twilight books and as much as I hate to admit it, I liked them. What can I say, I was in a relationship at the time and the warm fuzzy feelings Bella had sort of applied to the guy I had…then I saw the movies. Plus, I began reading other books and saw that they were better written. To me, Twilight, in retrospect, has the literary expertise of an eighth grader. It’s very bland, focuses on some details and has very basic language. Like, an older child could read it and understand the vernacular, along with a teenager and adult.
Perhaps that was my downfall. Not only do I have a degree in English with an emphasis in grammatical structures and linguistics, I have a minor in Creative Writing. My college career was spent learning how to craft a story to perfection. Stephanie Meyer, I’m sure her intentions were noble, failed in my opinion. This time, I’m going beyond my disdain of the novels and going back into the movies.
Normally I have Kit Kat with me to do these Twilight rants but she’s currently MIA, so you’re stuck with me for a while. The second story in the series gives us New Moon. I find the title appropriate because it’s the only one that’s not like the rest. True, the horribly intense romance is still the main focus but this time, we have werewolves instead of sparkling vampires. Now, let’s dive straight into the plot and see what’s in store for us in this episode.
New Moon starts off with a dream sequence. Bella is in that field that plays a huge role where she sees her grandmother a few feet away. It’s nice and sunny, then Edward shows up. Bella decides it’s a good idea to introduce her boyfriend to grandma, only to find out that it’s a reflection of her and what she’ll look like in the future. She wakes up from this pseudo nightmare only to have Charlie walk in singing “Happy Birthday”. That’s right, she’s another year older.
For most teens, birthdays are great. Not for Bella, no, this is a horrible thing. In her mind, every day she gets older, meaning she’ll be too old for Edward. Let me see if I’ve got this right. She turns seventeen. Edward was turned at seventeen and is currently over a hundred years old. If she turns eighteen, she’s suddenly too old for him. I may fail miserably at math, but I’m pretty sure eighteen is less than one hundred. Honestly, that’s one of the most superficial things I’ve ever heard.
Good news everyone, Kit Kat has returned from…wherever it is she went and will now be joining the discussion of the plot.
Hey everyone. I’m finally back from fighting off the necessary evils of real life. Now, that I’ve caught up with CinemaChick I’ll give my opinion. In some places, I do agree with CinemaChick. The writing is very basic and it seems to be meant for someone much younger. Also, when is eighteen too old to be with a vampire that’s been around since 1901? Seems a lil off. Though it’s never specified, even Jasper was 21 when he was turned so technically older is not necessarily a bad thing.
Yes, but Jasper’s ambition is life was not to die as a teen and become someone’s mate. He was in the military and his turning wasn’t exactly his choice. I find that more respectable then Bella’s glaringly obsessive notion that only Edward can have her and the only way to make that happen is to basically kill herself. I know love can be intense but if being with someone has to involve death…you might want to walk away from it.
I think we are getting ahead of ourselves here. Let’s get farther in the storyline first. After that completely awkward dream/nightmare sequence. We jump to school which looks really different from the last time we saw it. Either they are looking for new angles or they weren’t thinking. Either way this is where we find out from Alice
She can’t even be happy that someone wants to throw her a party? What a freaking emo kid. So, Bella shows up at the house, wearing a dress Alice
Yes indeed. They’ve teased you with it in the first movie about Jasper being the newest to the clan and having issues being around humans. But the teasing is over. That one minute drop of Bella’s blood and Jasper is undone. He charges across that room like a wild animal. Now, I personally think Edward should have been a little more careful in protecting Bella instead of shoving her back hard enough that she crashes into a table and breaks everything there and getting hurt even worse. He then in turn shoves Jasper back sending him flying into Edward’s piano and breaking it. It takes Emmett and Carlisle to hold Jasper back and get him out of the house. I feel bad for Jasper but at least he had one moment where he wasn’t just a prop in the background.
Here’s a thought. Why didn’t Edward just move in front of Bella? He didn’t need to throw her through a table. I’m going to call this a sign of abuse because there were so many other ways this could have gone and his first instinct was to shove her like that. But, Carlisle stitches her up, Edward takes her home and they make out. It’s at this point I think the relationship is based on hormones. Bella wants sex and lets him know in her own, not entirely subtle way. So, all of this leads to the next day, where they once again have a meaningful talk in the forest. Does everyone live by the woods? I’d be worried about wild animals and muggers out there.
Very true. But it seems that this time, Bella’s thoughts that Edward will leave her comes to pass. And in the harshest way he can, he not only tells Bella that he is leaving her and never coming back but that he doesn’t love her anymore. This would personally be the point where I would’ve slugged the ass. But no, not fragile lil Bella. Once he drops the bomb and walks off. She mentally flips…not that she was entirely stable to begin with (that was for you cinemachick). And she tears off through the forest after Edward as if she could run down a vampire. She ends up tripping and huddling up on the ground in the forest until long after dark. And then…the strangest thing manages to happen. You’d like to think one of them that finds her…wrong!
I guess being the daughter of a police chief has its advantages because the whole freaking town plus the Quiliuetes are out looking for her. Paul finds her and brings her back, where we just go into this absolutely miserable spiral with Bella. She has nightmares that cause her to scream and there’s this montage of the months passing while the camera circles Bella where she doesn’t leave a chair. Ok, I’ve had my heart broken repeatedly. I’ve been dumped via text message. You can’t mope around for months because the dude left you after nearly getting you killed twice. So, once the worst of her annoying moping is done, she decides to rejoin the world as Bella the Adrenaline Junkie.
Yup, you heard it right folks. Apparently, if Bella does stupid things, like getting on the back of a random biker’s motorcycle or rides one herself, then she gets to see Edward. So, of course! Why wouldn’t she? CinemaChick. Whatever drugs she’s taking I don’t think I want em. However, this does provide a moment for a longer haired Jacob to try and woo his way into Bella’s life.
The thing is Kit Kat, Bella has her blinders on. Jacob is a better choice for her. He never abandoned her or threw her into a wall. The worst thing he did at this point was threaten to kill Mike at the movies. Yeah we could go into the whole “What if they did end up together?” debate, but lets not. And she is such an ice queen to him. He’s baring his heart and soul to him but she just brushes him off like its nothing. He saves her life and it changes nothing. He repairs motorcycles for her, nothing. I have to agree with him when he gets pissed at her, saying he’s “not the right kind of monster” for her. I could go into a side rant about being with a werewolf over a technically dead guy, but I keep promising Kit Kat that I’ll be nice, so…with difficulty…I’ll leave that topic alone.
Awh, how sweet of you. Yes, let’s move on. Particularly to the point you brought up. The moment Jacob saves her life. Now, seems like Bella has the ultimate track record for getting in trouble. But this time, she puts herself in danger. How? SHE JUMPS OFF A CLIFF! Yes, she does the ultimate act in trying to see Edward again by jumping off a cliff. This almost kills her. Not just because she does it alone into dangerous waters but because there is a vision of our fave red headed vampire villain Victoria. Jacob manages to save her life and take her home.
I should probably mention that Laurent did show up earlier in the film, taunted Bella which gave her delusions of Edward, then the werewolves killed him. I did like Laurent here because he teased her and goaded her into admitting things. Had phantom Edward not been in Bella’s mind, he would have won. Laurent is dangerous because he’s intelligent. James had determination, Victoria Alice Alice Alaska
Yeah, they never say. Guess the other characters aren’t important any more. In any case, Bella lets Alice Alice
Seriously, there is no in between with these two. Either they are joined at the hip or they have to kill themselves. Chalk another point for abusive relationship. So, Bella runs away to Italy with Alice
If only hun. We have a slow start to everything. Aro wants to test if the other powers of the Volturi won’t work on Bella like how Edward can’t read her mind. Apparently, we find, that Bella can’t be harmed by Jane’s pain power and Aro can’t read every thought she’s ever had. Yet, before Aro can really do much, Edward jumps in to keep them away from Bella. Though, it seems to me that he only manages to get his ass handed to him. However, we come to the first real sign that these two are going to end up together. Aro has to have a promise that Bella will be made a vampire right then or they will kill her. Luckily for Alice
And we get one of my least favorite scenes. Alice
Yeah, seems a lil abrupt to me. But if I was the director the movie would have made a bit more sense. In any case, now we have Bella miraculously recovered from her emo to the nth degree. And then, we finally have a normal moment. Charlie who comes in and finally acts like the father that’s upset with his daughter for just taking off for three days with no note or anything. Yeah, she gets in trouble but she could have gotten into more for me personally. If I’d done that I’d never see another tech device for the next week.
My parents would kill me, cremate me and make sure I didn’t rise from the dead. So, with all of that out of the way, she leaves the house and goes over to the Cullen place to have them VOTE on whether or not she will become a vampire. Kit Kat…I’m sorry but I don’t want you voting on my mortality. If something happens and I’m going to die in ten minutes, yes make me a vampire. Otherwise, let me live and experience my life. So of course Alice votes yes, as does Carlisle , Esme, Emmet (the only time I lost respect for him) and Jasper. Rosalie votes no, saying she didn’t get to make the choice and neither should Bella. I have to agree with Rosalie. All of them were turned because they were dying or were forced to turn. Why should Bella get the choice when none of them did?
My problem is the voting as well. I mean, I personally would plead my case. I would know that if the Volturi would ever show up then I could be killed for still being a human when they arrive. I’d be scared plenty. However, I wouldn’t want it immediately either like Bella wants to. I’d want the choice of when since my choices are eventual and possibly painful death versus a…well…now that I think about it they are the same… Save for the fact that you don’t wake up from what the Volturi do to you. In any case, Bella wins(?) her right to become a vampire after graduation from high school.
Which leads to yet another scene I can’t stand. Edward drives Bella home and nearly plow into Jacob, who’s in the middle of the street in some sort of martial arts stance. Were there no other cars out that day? Does no one else find that weird at all? Well, we go into yet another freaking forest to have a confrontation between Jacob and Edward. They sort of argue, Jacob leaves and Edward proposes. Here’s what pissed me off. After he says, “Marry me”, the camera jumps back to Kristen Stewart looking dumb as hell. About five seconds after showing her face, we hear the gasp. They screwed up the sound that bad in one of the most crucial scenes in the film. It should have been fixed post production, but I guess Summit
…I apologize. Personal prejudices coming through there.
And folks, that’s where the movie ends. Yeah there’s a flair for the drama of it all. But it’s like the end of the Super Mario Brothers Movie. You’ve gotta get past this movie to have enough money to make the next movie. If you’ve got that, then you get to have a freakin cliffhanger.
Ok, as much as I hate the movie, I have to say the cliffhanger was a good move. Hardcore fans are now wetting themselves in anticipation for the next movie and people who maybe don’t know what comes next are bound by curiosity to come back. Plus, fair-weather fans are going to want to see the ring and probably her wedding dress, so it wets your appetite for more.
Guess I’m not really a hardcore fan then. I was left going: “Really? A cliff hanger?” In any case, I was glad for a few more good moments from the Cullen family, a lot more interaction with Jacob. There were just moments that could have been done better.
I left going “Oh thank God, it’s over!” However, despite how much I loathe this series, New Moon is my personal favorite. There isn’t much Edward, Bella’s still as exciting as tofu but we have the werewolves come into play. I personally prefer them over the Cullens because I find them more interesting and more complex. They are emotional creatures. Not to mention, the CGI work on the wolves was fantastic. Funny story, the first time I saw New Moon, I was with Arret and Man in a Hurry. Arret and I were drooling over the wolves while poor Man in a Hurry was dying to get out of there. He was the only single male in the theater. I miss Man in a Hurry.
I do appreciate the wolves as well. They were very well done and had more things to do than worry about the “love triangle”. New Moon is my second favorite in the series thus far if we are really voting on it.
Well, I’d say this about wraps it up for now Kit Kat. Soon we’ll tackle Eclipse and I’ll tell you why I think they screwed Jasper over. Let’s wrap this one up and get to the important things…which for me is listening to children to make sure no one is hurt, screaming or crying.
At least Jasper gets a shot in Eclipse. I like to see him leading for once. As for me, it’s a multitude of multi-tasking. This is Kit Kat and no movie or too good or too bad for a review.
And I’m TheCinemaChick saying, even though I’m not a “Twi-hard” fan, I’m still Team Emmet. I even have the shirt to prove it.
No comments:
Post a Comment