Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick and it's been a while since I have been in the theater. Well, today I finally went back to have native habitat with Butterfly. Of course, the main problem with seeing a movie on a Saturday is that there is always a crowd. Since this movie came out last week, there weren't as many people in our theater. So let's get started with The Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
I had one huge problem right off the bat. I know nothing about this franchise. I've never seen a Planet of the Apes movie, whether it was the original Charleton Heston films to the Mark Wahlberg remake, they've all slipped past me. So, going into this blind, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. Butterfly had to explain it to me after the movie was over. By the way, don't leave as soon as the credits start. They go for a minute, then there's a bonus scene, which really helps make sense of everything.
As you should already know, this is a prequel to the entire Planet of the Apes series. I'm on the fence about discussing the plot because it has only been out for two weeks and people are still flocking to the theaters to see it. I guess I can give you a simple overview.
We start off with an ape being captured and being experimented on. Right before she is to be presented so the drug used on her can be approved for humans, she goes on a rampage and is killed. The scientist and James Franco realize that the ape wasn't affected by the drug. It turns out she'd had a baby and was just protecting it. He takes the baby home to his father, who has Alzheimer's. The chimp is named Caesar and it grows up with the dad and as Caesar ages, he becomes more intelligent. This goes on for a while, then a neighbor is attacked by the chimp and he is forced into a sanctuary. Caesar doesn’t fit in, because honestly, he acts to human. He begins plotting his escape, thinking of how to free the others of his kind. Of course, he has to dodge the ever watchful eye of Dodge (played by Tom Felton). A second batch of the drug is made, which is more powerful than the first with one huge downfall. It’s not safe in any way for humans. Caesar manages to sneak out, steal the drug that’s now in aerosol form and gives it to all the other monkeys. Things get strange, monkeys seem to form a union and all hell breaks loose. The animals take over the city, causing panic and chaos, all in search of the redwood forest on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge
Ok, I condensed that A LOT. The movie was about two hours long but it felt twice as long. I got antsy at points, almost wondered if it would ever end. Everything about it was expositional. I know, I know, it’s a prequel and sets the audience up for the rest of the series so it has to explain a lot. For me, it didn’t really explain anything. Honestly, a prequel shouldn’t have left me feeling so confused. I’ll admit, I know the gist of the series, apes run the world and humans return to find their home completely changed. Yeah, that part I got.
The movie didn’t even really explain how humans became extinct. I presented my theory to Butterfly, who confirmed my thoughts and that’s how everything made sense. Part of this is my fault for going into this blind, plus I have a problem with movies leaving me with so many questions.
For example, here’s a short list of things I would like to ask:
If Caesar was a “super chimp” and had increased intelligence, why didn’t he go back to a laboratory for research instead of the sanctuary?
Why did no one notice that the chimp for the beginning had a child?
Who was the girlfriend and what happened to her?
When the other scientist inhaled the aerosol drug, why did he just leave and not get quarantined?
Who was the nurse at the beginning and what role did she play?
Why was the boss guy such a dick?
Why did people think Tom Felton was a good choice for the role?
Why did the movie take so long to reach its point?
Does the producer really expect us to believe that maybe 2 dozen assorted simians took over the entire town?
When can I see the movie about the circus orangutan?
Can we have more Tom Felton please?
Could the filmmakers have told us what species were in the sanctuary since most of us aren’t monkey experts?
Is this going to lead to yet another remake or revival of the franchise?
Were there any real monkeys? (I ask this because I’m pretty sure most of the time they were CGI)
How awesome would it be if they really could cure Alzheimer’s?
Why was the human effect of the virus downplayed so much?
Did anyone else think John Lithgow pulled off that role perfectly?
Was I the only one who thought Tom Felton slipped up with his accent a lot?
Don’t get me wrong, I respect Tom Felton as an actor and I think he knows how to play a villain. I just didn’t like him in this role. Yes, he’s trying to act with an American accent, but I noticed that it did change at times.
It was freaking awesome that he got to use the famous “Get your paws off me, you damn dirty ape” line. I almost cheered.
Overall, I’d give this movie a 3 out of 5. It wasn’t great, but it’s not a complete failure. If you can swing it, go to a matinee when it’s cheaper. I don’t know if it’s in 3D or not, but if it is, skip it. Most movies that come out in 3D should be skipped, but I’m not a fan of it. Having glasses and then adding those crappy 3D glasses added on top of them tends to give me a headache.
I’ve still got to review The Smurfs, which I saw with Fry and continue with my Twilight Rant. I recently watched New Moon again, so I’m ready to tackle that monstrosity. I still have to sit through Eclipse again.
Well, I’m TheCinemaChick and I waste my money on new releases do you can know if its worth the price. On behalf of my movie watching buddies, I bid you a pleasant theater experience.
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