****We are once again discussing Fifty Shades of Grey! Be warned!****
Hello everyone, what's going on? I'm
the one you know and love as TheCinemaChick. Today we're going to do
something that hasn't been seen here in a long time. You haven't had
had a decent “Trailer Trash” in so long that we figured it's a
good time to have one. I've got Kit Kat on standby and we're going
to talk about the hottest trailer out there. Ladies and gentlemen,
let's take a look at “Fifty Shades of Gray”. Or as I like to
call it “Twilight Porn”.
Alo everyone.
Kit Kat is back at last. Excited to do some Trailer trashing. And I
think this is the perfect trailer to come back with and review. It
was one of the bestselling book series and now it’s going to be a
movie. Although, this is admitting a remiss in my literature duties,
I haven’t read the series myself but I did a little searching and
discovered the general “storyline” of the book. So, I will get to
give my opinion from the perspective that some of you may be coming
from who haven’t read the books. But time for the trailer.
I personally am surprised they can
show this in theaters. That final scene alone...it's just her tied
up, blindfolded and moaning. It makes me uncomfortable. They sort
of drag out this sexual tension up until that point. And even the
trailer shows just how much like “Twilight” this story is. If
you've seen my rant about this series, you know that I see this as
thinly veiled Twilight porn. The characters aren't even different
from the originals. They're just...I'm trying not to go into a nerd
rage about this but let's face it, it's fanfiction. Not even good
fanfiction at that. We have our Edward, Bella and even though you
don't see it, there is a Jacob.
I completely agree. I was
rewatching the trailer just to refresh my memory about what I was
seeing. I literally had to pause the video and look to Cinema Chick
and let her know all I could think was “Twilight”. With lines
like: Grey – “I’m incapable of staying away from you.”
Followed by Ana saying: “Then don’t.” I can’t help myself. I
nearly checked the title of the video to make sure I was really
watching a trailer for “Fifty Shades of Grey”. The whole trailer
can lead an unknowing person to think it’s not completely about the
sex. As if they are going to underplay it in the movie. However, it’s
more than likely that they aren’t. I’m honestly wondering how
much are they going to try and get away with in the movie itself
based upon the comments I’ve heard people making about various
scenes in the book.
I have to admit, I really dig the new
arrangement of Beyonce's “Crazy in Love”. It's probably my
favorite part of the whole trailer. It does actually fit perfectly
with the scenes but even then, it just looks bland and boring until
he appears to molest her in an elevator. And if anyone cares, that's
a scene from the book when he's debating his paperwork to sleep with
her then says “Fuck the paperwork” and makes out with her anyway.
I'm not kidding. This really happened, along with other things.
You can't really get a sense of how screwed up this truly us unless
you've read the book. Like, the part where Christian shoves some guy
out of the way...looks harmless, until you find out he drove
like...30 miles or so to see her after she drunk dials him. I
seriously wish I was making this up.
People who haven’t read the books
and go see this movie are not only going to be lost but they might
actually feel a little uncomfortable once things get rolling. Pretty
much anything beyond the beginning “calm” part of the trailer
left me confused. Well, unless the sex started popping up. That’s
pretty self-explanatory. I’ll admit, I have seen some movies with
“PG sex” in it. And if somehow I had been living under a rock
during the book’s reign and only seen the trailer recently, I might
not think anything untoward about the trailer until the BDSM aspect
shows itself.
I can say that this book/film does not
portray BDSM in the proper way. I've read some articles that have
popped up since the book's release and from what I can discern,
Christian Grey is not actually a true “dominant” and Anastasia is
not a true “submissive”. Everything I've looked at points to
abuse and him being controlling of her. Again, I know I've claimed
that Edward and Bella had an abusive relationship but that pales in
comparison to what I've seen in “Fifty Shades of Grey”. And in
the trailer, you barely get a glimpse of what is to come with him
picking up the blindfold and her...moaning...
All in all, what I see here is an
almost painfully obvious attempt to simply get “butt in the seats”
at the movie theater by trying to appeal to as many people as
possible. Keeping the sexual/BDSMish nature tucked away (mostly)
appeals to those that aren’t used to seeing those kinds of movies
while hinting at more to the story than just sex. However, those who
know the books and looking forward to seeing them “live” might
have their curiosity poking at them to see more than the trailer is
revealing. All of this just for a movie that is only not called a
fanfiction simply because it’s not being covered in obscurity on
some fanfiction website.
Basically, there are three types of
people who are going to be dying to see this one.
- The housewife type who used “Fifty Shades” as the thing called “mommy porn” and are seeking their own Mr. Grey.
- People who haven't read the books but want to see the sex.
- Grown up Twilight fans.
As for me, again, I try not to let
bias and personal opinions ruin a movie for me. So yeah, you will
probably see me at the theater, trying not to laugh. Or, possibly
with a stiff drink.
Actually, I’d be interested in
hearing about the type of audience you see in the theater when you go
and if your prediction will be true to form or if there are a few
surprises in the audience.
Well, we will have to wait until
Valentine's day of 2015 to know this for sure. I'm certain I will
have another long, ranty review for it when it comes out. I honestly
expect to see a sea of middle aged women, hormonal eighteen year olds
and me...who's just there. Or, do what a friend of mine suggested.
Take a shot for every Twilight reference and die of alcohol
poisoning.
Interesting choice for a release
date for this movie I have to say. And I look forward to the drunk
call you might make to me after you get out of the theater. I
personally will not being going to see this movie but knowing my good
friend here I will be told more than enough to make up for that fact
after it comes out in theaters. Always have to spread the joy around.
Kit Kat will never forget two things
from our past: The “Magic Mike” call and the fox waffles
incident. Neither of which we will go into. I think a drunk “Fifty
Shades” call might be in order. I can have a Valentine's Date with
Jack...Jack Daniels. All that aside, final thoughts about this semi
pornographic, possibly offensive and definitely uncomfortable
trailer?
Well, I think
you’ve pretty much said it all right there. The beginning seems
fairly standard albeit boring. Some of the moments are
semi-interesting but seem to bear rather little on the inescapable
fact that my mind automatically connected it to “Twilight” and
found myself in a very uncomfortable frame of mind wondering about
how many former “Twilight” fans will be attending a showing of
this movie and literally get a similar experience without a
supernatural angle.
Regardless, this will be a cash cow.
However, it will never beat “The Avengers” opening weekend and I
can take some comfort in that. Time to say good night, Kit Kat.
I can honestly say this has been a
blast being back for Trailer Trash. I’m sure the time will come
again for another round so time to rest up. See everyone again soon I
hope.
I'm
TheCinemaChick and you can find me at Wizard World Nashville in
September.
No comments:
Post a Comment