Captain America: The Winter Soldier

 What's up everyone, I'm the only and possibly only film critic you know as TheCinemaChick and I've got some good news and bad news. The good news is that I have seen the newest Captain America film, so that's what I'll be talking about in this review with minimal spoilers. The bad news is that I will not be reviewing “Noah”.


Let me explain. First and foremost, I am not comfortable discussing religious matters because everyone's opinion is different. I might inadvertantly offend a reader, which I assure you, is not my intention in any way shape or form. Second, because there are many interpretations of how this story happened, there's a chance I will offend again. And finally, after speaking with several people, I have come to the conclusion that this movie is so wrong that it's out of my league. I know the story of Noah but this...pretty much the only accurate thing about it was Noah's name and that he had an ark.


Here is a brief list of things I find wrong about “Noah” (potential spoilers):

• the stone angels that look like a cross between the Ents from Lord of the Rings and prehistoric Transformers
  
• implied incest
  
• possible cannibalism (I'm not sure on this one. The scene was short but I'm fairly certain someone was carried off and killed for meat.)
  
• sexual innuendo (Methuselah makes several comments about “picking berries”)
  
• actual sex
  
• Russell Crowe playing a Biblical character
  

I have discussed that list with three people, two of which I have had serious religious discussions with before. They all agreed that the movie makes a great drama but if you want to see an accurate story about the Bible, this is not it. Skip this one and check out “The Ten Commandments” instead.


Now, let's move on to a far more positive subject. “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” hits theaters today and I can say in all honesty, this one needs to be seen. Every Marvel fan should see it. Because of the new found popularity in 8 PM showings the day before release (what's up with that?), I saw it in a double feature last night, along with the first in the series. Let me go on record saying that the first one is not my favorite movie. It's pure exposition with very little action so for me, I find it almost painfully slow. It's just a huge setup for “The Avengers”, where he gets a chance to shine. Even then, he wasn't my favorite character because he was so “apple pie, all American good boy” and he never really strayed from that.


Fortunately, that changes in “The Winter Soldier”. Steve Rogers (still played by Chris Evans) is still that good old boy you love but when the action starts, he becomes hardened, a little darker. Needless to say, I finally see the why women think Captain America is so attractive. I like that his character has a little more depth to him. He's more relateable and less...perfect. Even better, he's got a sense of humor. Steve is no longer this lost little puppy trying to get by. It's good to see that he's better adjusted to the times and he's learned the wonders of the internet. I like seeing his progress, but that he's also still catching up. It's sort of cute.


If you've seen the previews, you know something big is going to happen in this film. You know that Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) returns and that we have the introduction of a new villain, The Winter Soldier. I won't spoil who it is for you but come on...it's really obvious. IMDB tells you who it is and the name itself should be a clue. Winter Solider...hmm...what could that mean...I won't tell you who it is. I'll leave that to you to discover. While I'm on the topic, the reveal is both awesome and heartbreaking. When Steve realizes who his enemy is...you just want to hug him and give him a cookie.


**Semi-spoiler: If you haven't seen the first “Captain America” OR “The Avengers” (and if you haven't, why haven't you?) DO NOT see “The Winter Soldier”! There are connections you will not be able to make if you haven't seen the previous two films. Trust me on this one guys. You MUST see those before seeing this one.**


Also, if you've seen the previews, you know that someone dies. I won't say who but keep one thing in mind...not everything is as it seems. That becomes a highly important thing to consider about halfway through the film.


Let's go into what I didn't like because surprisingly, there aren't that many things I hated. Like with many Marvel films, it takes a little while for the action to get started and the first act does drag by a little. There are some really lame jokes, a lot of comments about Steve's love life and other little things that don't seem to fit in. It's ok, it adds some light touches to a film that gets increasingly darker but it just gets old fast. Some of the effects didn't wow me like I had hoped and here's a huge question I have. Where the hell are the Avengers? I mean, I'm sure Tony Stark or Bruce Banner can spare some time to help Steve.


They're all a part of SHIELD, right? Even though things get really tangled (again, spoilers if I say how), surely Tony or Bruce could spare a few days to lend a hand. Hell, Thor could help out since he's on Earth now. And no, that's not a spoiler since “Thor: The Dark World” has been out since November is currently on DVD and Blu-Ray. I have a digital copy. But even then, why couldn't the other Avengers step in and help a little? I get that this is Steve's movie, but Natasha is present throughout. Why shouldn't his friends get a little action in this one? There's only one brief mention of the Avengers that you can't miss.


Also, don't forget to be on the look out for Stan Lee's cameo.


The film is roughly two hours and fifteen minutes long, which, in some cases, feels like an eternity. In this case, it feels like it's maybe half that. Even with the first act being a bit sluggish, the second and third act increase in intensity to the point where you are so absorbed in the story that you don't notice the time. The film creates an atmosphere of mistrust, danger, mystery and fear. They emphasize the idea of disbelief. Who can you trust? Who is your friend? Are you really safe when you're in your own home?


I honestly really enjoyed this film. Fry and I were guessing the entire time, trying to figure out, who was behind the whole thing, who did what and just what would happen. For the most part, we were wrong. We enjoyed the little twists and turns the film presented us with. The final confrontation had both of us on the edges of our seats, even if we basically knew what would happen. The characters are enjoyable, especially the addition of The Falcon or Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie). He adds some humor and he seems to get along really well with Steve Rodgers. In fact, Mackie and Evans had great chemistry, like they're best friends off screen and this was just an extension of that.


Hey Marvel...please bring Sam Wilson back. Don't let his story be over yet.


And, as with every Marvel film, there is a post credit scene. Actually, there are two, post credit and mid credit. The post credit scene is really vague and possibly sets up for a spin off movie. I'm not sure if it was a happy, sad or angry scene but...if it does become a separate movie, I'd like to see it. The mid credit scene...oh my goodness, I was so excited to see it. This sets up the story for the next Avengers film. It features two very important (and somewhat controversial because of the casting choice...I'll get to that in a moment) characters that will play a huge part in upcoming movies. No matter what, stay for the credits!


About the casting controversy...in X-Men: Days of Future Past, Evan Peters plays him and people are not happy about that. They also hate his character design, which I don't see a problem with. HOWEVER, in Avengers: Age of Ultron, he's played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson. I'm kind of wondering how this is going two work out. Now I'm really curious...


I'm not going to lie, I loved “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and recommend it to anyone who's interested. Remember, you need to see the previous two films in order to understand some things in this one. The story gets really intense at some points and it really gets you hooked. It's already taken in over seventy five million in box office revenue overseas and I'm confident in saying that this weekend alone, it will take in over thirty million domestic.


What's next on my list? I have no idea! Perhaps I'll tackle an issue I've just noticed about the Marvel movieverse. Maybe I'll go into a “Back to Basics” and take a look st some of my favorite films. I know Kit Kat and I are planning on writing a Trailer Trash together where we look at the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer. After that...I still don't know. I'd like to see Oculus, the paranormal thriller starring Karen Gillan better known as Amy Pond. By the way, she is a very tall woman. She's also really sweet and I'm glad she came out to the Dallas Sci Fi Expo.


Speaking of conventions...the Dallas Comic Con is approaching and guess who's coming? Stan Freaking Lee is coming! THE STAN LEE! And I splurged on a Premium ticket so I have all the perks and privileges that come with it, including a VIP lounge.


I would also like to announce that this will be my final con. The prices are shot up, cosplays take a lot of time and money and honestly, it's no longer worth it. When I get the chance, I will attend the San Francisco Comic Con, the penultimate con for all nerds like me. Other than that, consider this my retirement from cosplay. I had fun and I will miss it, but again...the costs aren't worth it anymore. If I'm ever invited to be a media guest because I'm a blogger and I do podcasts, I think I could qualify. Don't worry guys, I'll add a link to the podcasts so you can enjoy them too.



I'm TheCinemaChick and look for me in the upcoming Avengers. I'll save the world with my super snark powers.

I wouldn't say amazing...

            Hey guys, I’m known as TheCinemaChick and after a month long (and much needed) hiatus, I’m back!  June was a rather interesting month for me.  I volunteered at a local church and did vacation Bible school.  At the end of that, I managed to fall and sprain my ankle really bad.  So, I was laid up for about a week, then I got some really…heartbreaking news.  It seems I was causing some friction in a friend’s relationship so he has chosen to cut me out of his life very suddenly.  Yes, it was painful, but I think I’ll survive.  It’s not my fault his girlfriend thinks I’m someone I’m not.

            Then, some very exciting news.  My brother became a father for the first time last week!  Yes, I am now AuntieCinemaChick!  I got to hold her today and she is so tiny, but adorable.  I am over the moon right now.  But, you’re not here to listen to me ramble on and on about my new niece.  No…you’re here because I’m going to review a movie for you.  And for my triumphant return, I’m going to tackle one of the biggest anticipated movies of the summer.  And unfortunately, I hated it.

            Yes dear reader, I hated “The Amazing Spider Man”.  Trust me, I use the term “amazing” rather loosely.  I’m sorry, we had a trilogy of movies based on this same comic book hero a decade ago.  Why are we already doing a remake of it?  Not to mention, why can’t they make a DECENT remake?  The actors were so badly miscast its not even funny.  Andrew Garfield looks like a scrawny little nerd who only looks buff when he’s in costume.  He just didn’t cut it for me.  Also, I don’t really like Emma Stone.  I don’t think she’s all that great either in comedic or dramatic roles.  I hated “Easy A” and I wasn’t fond of “The Help” because it focused on her too much.  She’s playing Gwen Stacy in this one, the replacement for Mary Jane I guess.  I prefer Kirsten Dunst honestly.

            Before I went into this film, I was only half interested in it.  I’ll admit, I may be a Marvel girl, but I don’t really care for the Spider Man stuff.  I never really liked him.  I’ve seen the first movies, the ones with Tobey Maguire and I enjoyed those.  They weren’t my favorite films of all time, but they were good.  Let’s not get into Spider Man 3 with “emo Peter” and the stupid dance number.  Trust me, I’m aware of how much it sucked.  However, in comparison to the newest version, I’d gladly watch that over again.

            “The Amazing Spider Man” did not live up to its name.  They must have used the word “amazing” rather loosely.  Ok, time for a little bit of my thoughts on how a movie should go.  Let’s say you want 100% of a film.  Let’s divide that up and I will explain why I have done it this way.

20% Exposition

30% Rising Action

10% Climax

20%Falling Action

10% Dénouement

           Let’s discuss this.  Expostion is the backstory and giving us all the information we need for a film, unless its in a series.  Even in a series, such as Harry Potter, they remind us of what we need to know for the upcoming movie.  However, in some cases, this can drag on insanely long.  This causes boredom in the viewer.  Yes, we need to know what’s going on and how this character came to be, but keep it to a minimum.

            Rising Action should be getting us amped up for the climax.  It should present conflict and tension, possibly some humor as well.  This is when we should be getting a real sense of the character.  Well, sometimes this gets cut short.  It shouldn’t be.  With this, the viewer is sucked in and drawn into the world the film has created.  If we never get the chance to make that connection to the film, well, the movie kind of sucks. 

            The Climax is the pinnacle of the movie.  It should be exciting and gripping and have the viewer’s full attention.  In a superhero movie, this is where the hero would fight the bad guy and win.  Like in the Avengers, the climax comes when the giant space worm turtle things come and they have to fight even though they are hurt and tired. 

            Falling Action resolves the conflicts presented earlier and lets us know that things came out all right for our hero.  It should sum things up and give us a feeling of satisfaction.  Again, when it comes to a series, this can be left wide open since there will be a continuation of the film.  Look at Lord of The Rings.  The ending of “The Fellowship of the Ring” just sort of stops and doesn’t have a sense of conclusion or finality.  The view knows and is fully aware that there will be two more films in the series so there aren’t any lingering questions.  All will be brought up in the second film and resolved in the third.

            Perhaps I will write something later about Lord of the Rings.  We’ll see.

            And finally, the Dénouement.  This is the ending.  Consider this the final scenes, post credit scenes and credits.  This really isn’t a huge part of the film, but still, it’s something that should be considered. 

            Now that I’ve explained that, let me explain this.  “The Amazing Spider Man” was about 80% exposition.  I’m not kidding.  There was very little action, almost no conflict, other than some minor bullying issues and Peter not knowing about his parents.  Even that gets put in the background for the most part.  I just didn’t feel like it went anywhere for about an hour and a half when this film runs a solid two and a half hours.  A lot of it was just character interaction, with nothing really binding it together.  I just couldn’t get into it.  Not to mention, I couldn’t get past the fact that Andrew Garfield looks like the bastard child of Robert Pattinson and Daniel Radcliffe. 

            The movie just kept dragging on and on and on.  If the viewer isn’t sucked in quickly, the movie is doomed.  I couldn’t get sucked into this if you’d turned on a vacuum and physically sucked me into the screen.  There isn’t very much Spider Man action.  It’s mostly just Peter Parker being emotional and reading.  He doesn’t really seem interested in Gwen at all, so it felt very forced.  I wanted to like this, I really did, but I didn’t. 

            And the 3D was useless.  There was maybe a grand total of 6 minutes of cool stuff that I thought was ok, but for the most part, I had no need for my glasses.  I’ll admit, there’s a few scenes where we get a first person point of view shot that I liked a lot.  We get to see through Spider Man’s eyes as he swings around the city, which was interesting.  I’m not a huge fan of first person because I am prone to motion sickness.

            I couldn’t even get into the climax but it was a let down.  There was no awesome battle between Spider Man and The Lizard (played by Rhys Ifans, you know Xenophilius Lovegood from Harry Potter).  Personally, I didn’t even see him as a villain.  His intentions were noble.  Dr. Curt Connors lost part of his arm and just wants to get it back.  Ok, I understand why you’re doing these insane things to yourself.  He wants to help people who have injuries or disabilities by crossing species.  That actually sounds like a good idea, but he just went a little too far in his research.  I did not find him threatening at all.  A good villain should make me want him to lose.  Hell, I was rooting for The Lizard more than Spider Man.

            And to make things even better, Curt Connors tries to redeem himself!  He kills someone, but ends up saving Spider Man!  Of course the movie has its happy ending.  Peter gets Gwen, he’s allowed to be Spider Man but then there’s a post credit scene that had me going “Oh great…sequel fodder.”  And for those of you who don’t speak my language, sequel fodder is an ending or post credit scene that clearly hints at a sequel or pending series.  In this case, expect a sequel.  The villain is alive and can break out.  I have no idea who the guy in the post credits scene is, so if you know, please tell me.  So far, all I know is that it is NOT Norman Osborn, better known as The Green Goblin.  So that’s all I know for now kids. 

            But I mean, come on, Marvel.  Fry and I watched this, pointing out elements from Avengers that happened to pop up.  For instance, remember that giant blue cloud in the sky before the Chitauri invade?  It returns in this one. 

            This was an unnecessary remake.  It’s boring, way too drawn out and just doesn’t satisfy at all.  At one point, I was so bored, I started playing with my hair.  Yes, I took my hair down, which I never do, and braided it.  I gave myself a Katniss braid and braided my bangs while I was at it.  I’m sorry, but skip this one.  Go see Ted or Magic Mike, neither which I have seen.  I would rather see those that sit through Spider Man again.  If this tells you anything, I have seen all the Marvel movies at least twice, if not more.  (I’ve officially seen Avengers 5 times now)  This…this wasn’t worth the seven bucks I paid to see it.

            Well, that’s all the ranting I have to do about The “Amazing” Spider Man.  I’m back and ready to catch up some reviews.  I’ve got several things I’m working on.  Tim Burton will be a feature in August, where I look at some of my favorite films of his.  I’m also doing a “Better Late Than Never” review, where I talk about the movies I saw in June and didn’t touch.  So far, I’ve got to do Snow White and the Huntsman (disappointment) and Prometheus (confusing but brilliant).

            I’m looking forward to the upcoming release of the latest Batman movie.  I’m considering going to a marathon of the Christopher Nolan films, but we’ll see.  You never know with me.

            I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m back, baby!

One for all and all for Orlando Bloom!

            Hey guys, it’s your friendly local movie critic, TheCinemaChick.  As a warning, I’m not in the best of moods and I’m not going to censor what I say like I normally do.  See, in order to keep this whole thing PG rated or lower, I keep my cursing to a minimum.  Like I said, right now, I don’t care.  I’m annoyed because I recently found out two of my closest friends don’t read this.  It hurts because they know how much I love doing this and how this blog is one of the most important things to me.

            Plus, there’s the whole “damn near no one reads this shit” aspect.

            Enough of my bitching.  You’re here because you expect a review.  Well, I’m not going to bother with Johnny English Reborn because it is nothing more than a stupid comedy.  That’s not to say it was bad, which it wasn’t.  It’s just a lighthearted piece of fluff full of laughs that I greatly enjoyed.  I haven’t seen the first one and I’ll admit, I didn’t know about the first movie until the second one came out.  If you want something that won’t require you to think, see it.  It’s got some great jokes and visual puns that are highly enjoyable.  

            Now, the real reason for this post.  While I did see Paranormal Activity 3 and Johnny English Reborn on Friday, I saw The Three Musketeers on Saturday.  Fry and Butterfly joined me.  We opted for a 3D showing since that was the only time we could all agree on.  Sadly, it doesn’t seem to be doing well at the box office, which is a shame.  True, it looks like it’s bad but to be honest, it is.

            Wait a second.

            It’s corny, cheesy and the cast was horrible, but it was that kind of movie that’s so bad it’s enjoyable.  The dialogue is seriously terrible.  Whoever wrote it wasn’t trying to keep it canon to the book at all.  There were some awful jokes thrown in there.  What made it worse is that every time the characters had a conversation, I felt like there was a reference to another movie.  For instance, D’Artagnan (played by a horribly miscast Logan Lerman) makes a comment to Rochefort apologizing to his horse.  Maybe it’s just me, but I immediately thought of a Hidalgo reference.  The sad thing is, the horse apology comes back into play at the end of the movie.  It’s almost like everyone used modern language in a historic setting, which is never a good idea.

            While I’ve got Logan Lerman on my mind, who’s bright idea was it to cast him?  The Three Musketeers is set in France, a fact that is mentioned repeatedly.  I can understand most of the cast having British accents but Lerman makes no effort to even try to be European.  He’s just a plain old American guy stuck in a bunch of English actors, which bothers me.  The movie has a specific setting, so at least fake a British accent to make it more believable.  It didn’t work for Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette (which could have been such a magnificent film if someone else had been cast) and it didn’t work here.

            I’ll give Lerman some credit.  His fight scenes were excellent, but I wish he’d made more of an effort to actually be the character, not some actor pretending to act like a fictional character.

            Logan Lerman, I’ll give you another shot.  However, if you screw up The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we’re done.  I love that book and I’m already scared to see how bad it’s going to be screwed up.  However, you are doing Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters.  Because I love that series, I’ll forgive your poor performance in The Three Musketeers a tiny bit, but not much.  You’re still on probation with me.

            Well damn, I forgot what else I wanted to touch on…let’s move on to Orlando Bloom.  This man SHOULD have been in the movie more.  The film runs a good hour and fifty minutes, but Bloom appears for maybe twenty minutes total.  It’s a shame because he’s so good.  It’s his first role (that I know of) where he plays a villain.  Bloom was over the top, almost bad for you kind of way.  His performance was so rich it’s like warm chocolate cake.  Ok, bad analogy.  My point is, he’s freaking perfection in this!  While the entire movie had the over the top feel, he managed to capture it the best.  He plays Buckingham, the man who’s trying to bring down the king of France.  Bloom oozes cockiness, arrogance and a slight hint of sexuality that makes sure he steals every scene he’s in.

            Like I said, the movie is bad, but it’s so bad it’s good.  I’m sad that it won’t do well because it is a visual treat.  The 3D was actually worth it this time and as you all know, I normally don’t care for it.  The costumes were pretty accurate, the settings were brilliant and despite being in a foul mood while watching it, I enjoyed it.

            Yeah, the CGI is pathetic and it’s obvious when the actors are on a set and when they are in front of a green screen.  You’d think production would try to make that look good, but no.  

            The worst thing about the movie?  It sets itself up for a sequel.  Yeah, I’m not kidding about that and I apologize for that spoiler.  If it means more of Orlando Bloom’s flamboyant acting, I’m all for it.  Give me less Logan Lerman.

            I’d say check out The Three Musketeers during a matinee showing and go ahead and swing a 3D showing.  But what do I know?  I’m just some chick who reviews movies as a hobby.  That’s putting my degree in English to great use.

            I do apologize for my bad mood tonight. I’m sure I have more to say, I’m just not up for being nice.  I love The Three Musketeers, I really did, I just can’t be my usually perky and snarky self.  This blog really does mean that much to me and to know people I consider extended family don’t read it…it hurts.  I love them dearly and I don’t think I could function without them though.

            So there you go.  I loved it, I’d see it again and now…I’m freaking excited to see Puss in Boots.  Yes, I’m a twenty something adult, but I’m still a cat person.  Also, Anonymous, the Shakespeare mystery drama, is coming out.  The literary geek in me is jumping for joy about that one.  It’s also got Rhys Ifans, the actor who played Xenophilius Lovegood in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One.  

            Well, I’m TheCinemaChick and I still cry every time Snape dies.