Top 11 Worst Movies of 2011

            Hello all  you list-o-maniacs out there!  I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m back with another list for you.  I’ve brought you my top eleven best movies of 2011, so now its time for my top eleven worst films of the year.

            Now, here’s how I ranked them.  If I thought a movie was horrible but I could stand to watch it again, it’s ranked pretty low on the list.  If it’s something that I really don’t want to ever deal with again, it’s pretty high up there.  So yeah, it’s based on a level of how tolerable I found something.  So here it goes, from tolerable to the “Dear God no!” movies, here’s my top eleven.

            Why eleven you ask?  Because I like to take things a bit further.

Number 11:

Priest

Yeah, it’s based on a graphic novel and the action was subpar, but it also brought a new level to the vampire mythology.  Vampires were portrayed in a completely different light and given an entirely different origin story.  I also like Paul Bettany and Cam Gigandet, so that helped a lot.  It was bad in the theater, but I’d give it another shot because Karl Urban also made a damn fine villain.

Number 10:

Season of the Witch

It had the potential to be good.  I was dying to see this when it came out and it was so horrendous it turned into a comedy.  The actors can’t hold an accent, the script must have been rewritten several times because half the time it makes no sense and if you watch closely, you can see Nicolas Cage’s career die a little.  It was so lame, I even created a drinking game.  Every time an actor changes accents, take a shot.  You’ll be drunk in about fifteen minutes.

Number 9:

Abduction

You know, Abduction wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be in my review.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s the most boring action movie I’ve ever seen.  It had great action sequences in it, but throwing in the romance really dragged things down.  Then there were several scenes that had no sense of continuity.  They screwed up the geography and left me confused, then wondering why the hell they left it open for a possible sequel.  If that weren’t bad enough, they kept adding twists that never got explained.  Bonus: It is Taylor Lautner’s first movie as a headliner, so kudos to him!

Number 8:

Green Lantern

You know, if you saw this one, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.  Characters were brought it and ignored.  The origin was less than impressive.  Hell, the villain barely makes sense.  I got that he was the embodiment of evil and all, but the human vessel for him…what?  Plus, Ryan Reynolds can’t pull off the superhero attitude.  The jokes were lame, the plot was weak and the ending is sequel fodder.  I’m a comic book nerd so I’m hoping there’s a chance Green Lantern 2 could be much better.

Number 7:

The Source Code

It’s not that I hated this movie, it’s that I had no idea what was going on.  It’s very repetitive, which is one of my pet peeves.  The ending made no sense to me, so I just left feeling confused.  I’m also not a fan of sci fi, so that played a small role in it.  But most of all, I just didn’t like the lack of explanation.

If you understand the movie, please explain it to me.

Number 6:

Bridesmaids.

I’m not a fan of gross out comedies.  The movie had too many disgusting moments for me.  It didn’t come across as funny at all.  I was more interested in the lack of plot because it seemed to go in one direction, ignore that, then go onto something else completely.  Then they would bring in characters that had nothing to do with the movie and ignore them.  After seeing this, I felt uncomfortable and dirty.  I know people praised it and loved it, but I didn’t.

Number 5:

Don’t Be Afraid of The Dark

Since watching more of Guillermo Del Toro’s work, I’ve found a new appreciation for this movie.  However, that doesn’t save it from being bad.  It was promoted as a horror movie, but there was barely any suspense.  The opening scene was the best, then everything started going downhill fast.  I’ll give the movie credit, the imps were very well done with CGI, but the plot…weak.  I wanted to like this because to me Del Toro embodies whimsy and he’s great with creativity, but this was his weakest movie so far.

Number 4:

I Am Number Four

As with so many others, this movie just left me confused.  Nothing was explained and I was expected to just know these things.  Then it ended, leaving it wide open for a sequel, but once again, nothing made sense.  I was left with so many questions that I didn’t enjoy the film.  I don’t like Alex Pettyfer, who also appeared in Beastly, which was another movie I disliked but didn’t quite make the cut.  Neil Patrick Harris saved it from my top eleven worst list.  Granted, this was based off a book I haven’t read, so maybe the text will clear some of this up, but the movie has put me off this series.  I may pick it up when I’m done with The Hunger Games trilogy, but we’ll see.

Number 3:

Dream House

Well…it had a house in it.  Also, I’d like to point out again that Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz refused to promote this film.  They starred in it!  You know a movie’s bad when the big actors won’t talk about it.  The movie was supposed to represent a fine line between reality and the imagination, but the line was so blurred that it was impossible to tell what was what.  Then there’s a subplot with the neighbor’s divorce that somehow led into the climax.  Both plots were so different that they didn’t even combine well.  I have no idea what happened towards the end, nor do I really care to know at this point.

Again, if anyone can make sense of it, please do.

Number 2:

Something Borrowed

This movie and my number one pick are tied honestly.  Like a lot of the other movies on this list, I had trouble with the plot, the characters and the acting.  The moral of the movie was that lying, backstabbing and cheating will get you what you want in life.  It’s about two friends and a guy.  One girl starts dating him but he’s in love with the other chick.  They sleep together while the first girl is sleeping with another guy, while another man is forced into the middle of this whole debacle.  The only saving grace is that when the two girls find out what has happened, the friendship dies.  They don’t apologize and stay BFFs forever.  Even then, knowing that each girl got the life she wanted after all that makes me sick.  Honesty would have prevented the whole thing and it could have been handled much better.

Number 1:

Straw Dogs

It was just so damn boring!  Nothing happened for most of the movie, then suddenly, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE!  The last twenty minutes is bloody and gory.  Once again, there is a subplot that goes absolutely nowhere, so I’m not sure why that was even included.  Oh yes, there’s also a graphic rape scene that I can’t get past.  It is a remake based on a short story, but having seen this modern version, I won’t go back and look at them.  The rape disturbed me so much that I refuse to EVER see this movie again.  I will not even look at the remake or the short story.  Even the incredibly hot Alexander Skarsgard cannot save this movie from itself.  It bombed at the box office and I don’t see it selling millions of DVDs.

I would much rather watch Breaking Dawn, Priest, Green Lantern and Red Riding Hood back to back while sitting in an uncomfortable chair in one day.  That’s how much I despised Straw Dogs.

So there you have it, my eleven worst films of the year.  I miscounted and it turns out I’ve already seen 45 movies this year.  Captain America, Bad Teacher and Red Riding Hood barely escaped my list, but trust me, they were far from my favorites.  If you don’t know what my top eleven movies were, that list can be found in my previous entry.

I’m TheCinemaChick and I like gummy bears.