Back to Basics - Nightmare Before Christmas

Hello all you wonderful readers of blogs!  I’m TheCinemaChick and I know I’ve already done a review of Bad Teacher today, but I’m going to also go over my all time favorite movie, Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas.  This is going to be considered part II of my “Back to Basics” series where I look back at the films that inspired me to be the critic I am today.  And if that weren’t awesome enough, I have a brand new, still has that new reviewer smell, Kitsy.  Now, I know he’s new, so be kind to him or he’ll never come back.  Together, we’re going to look at this claymation wonderland.  And now, I’ll let Kitsy introduce himself.

Um.... Hi there? Well I guess I'm Kitsy, apparently, and so, as a personal favour (and for cookies), I have agreed to help out on this little adventure we call "Talking crap about films".... Or reviewing or some such type thing.... Anywho, I guess we can get on with the fun stuff now...Right?

Remember children, Kitsy is just like Butterfly.  He’s a platonic friend and he’s British.  And as we all know, British dudes are hot.  As far as the cookies go…well, we’ll see about that.  Now, I know, Nightmare Before Christmas came out ages ago and was rereleased not too long ago in a collector’s tin (which I own).  But I absolutely love it.  I can quote it and I know all the songs by hear.  I have actually done a song and dance routine for “Oogie Boogie’s Song” for friends.  Why?  Because I’m awesome like that.

Hey! I never got to see that dance.... No fair.... Well I expect cookies anyway.... Talking of Oogie Boogie's song reminded me of the Nightmare Revisited album with loads of great covers of the film's soundtrack... It was that good that it inspired a cover album... But we digress... Well it might be mostly me digressing... So where do we start off CC?

With the plot of course, Kitsy.  We start off with a nice poem read by Christopher Lee which leads into our first musical number which introduces us, the watchers, to the movie.  “This is Halloween” is another one of my favorite songs because it’s so catchy and upbeat that you can’t help but hum it later.  Plus we get to meet all the monsters and ghouls and ghost and vampires…oh my!  At the end of the song, Jack Skellington appears and announces the success of Halloween.  I should explain that each holiday gets its own town, so obviously, this is Halloween Town.  There is a Thanksgiving Town, an Easter Town and so on.

And, possibly most important, Christmas town... But we'll get to that later, I imagine... But, yes, we soon discover that Jack isn't entirely happy, all he does is Halloween more or less, so naturally, he's become somewhat restless... While out strolling, trying to come up with some new twist, he accidentally stumbles upon a strange forest... In this forest are trees with strange designs upon their trunks.

Which of course means he’s found the magical place where all holidays are.  I’m not sure how that works out in real life.  Jack discovers Christmas, becomes infatuated with it and decides that he wants to experience.  Thus, Halloween Town undergoes the transformation.  I have to admit, I love the twisted toys they make and the coffin shaped boxes.  

Of course this isn't how Christmas is supposed to be, but no one in Halloween town really understands Christmas... Jack never seems to truly feel that they've got it right, but it's only Sally, some sort of girl sewn together and given life by a mad scientist, that really senses that this could be a big mistake... She happens to have a bit of a thing for Jack, but he doesn't notice this or her warnings and this misguided Christmas goes ahead as planned... Or at least until the world is plunged into chaos by the visits of an unusually skinny and scary fellow dressed in red and white.

Santa Claus is already scary.  The man likes having little kids sit in his lap.  Of course, everything goes wrong and Jack is left to fix everything in the nick of time.  Santa is saved from Oogie Boogie and Sally gets with Jack.  It’s a happy ending for everyone.  There was going to be a sequel, but thank goodness, that didn’t happen.  I don’t think this movie could have been so successful if there had been a Nightmare Before Easter or a Nightmare Before Thanksgiving.  Plus, I just love Tim Burton, so I most likely would have seen it anyway.

It's probably also a good thing there was no sequel for another reason too, most likely they'd computer animate the whole thing instead of using the stop-motion thingy technique, which I think looks much better... Has more of a charm... Plus adds to the creepiness in a way... I've not seen the whole of the corpse bride, but what I have seen of it, I think that'd look better in stop-motion, or whatever it's called, too... But I shall reserve full judgment for when I finally watch it... If I do... But yeah we weren't talking about the Corpse Bride... Where were we?

I have to admit, I miss the days of real animation.  Everything has gone digital so you only get to see the computer animated stuff these days.  I prefer the claymation and stop motion stuff because it has more charm to it.  I like Corpse Bride and I liked Coraline, but most people overlooked it because they are a bit on the morbid side.  Well, I am a morbid person and I like things that are weird, freaky and controversial.  So, overall, what do you think of Nightmare Before Christmas, Kitsy?

Oh I loves it, lovely animation, mood, music... Plus it's one of the only creepy things to come out of Disney, which I think gives it something... I'm not sure what, but something none the less... And hey, it's a film for both Halloween and Christmas! I can't think of much this film doesn't have... Except maybe giant, flying pandas... But you can't have everything can you?

Well, I don’t want giant flying pandas.  I’d prefer more Halloween oriented movies that don’t suck and aren’t remakes.  The Nightmare Before Christmas is considered a cult film but it has a very loyal fanbase.  And it is Disney, which is pretty shocking since almost everything they do is fairly tame, not counting The Hunchback of Notre Dame.  I’d rather see this film over and over again that ever have to watch another romantic comedy.

Aaawww, but giant flying pandas are cool.... But yeah the film still rates highly with me, even though I'm not that into halloween... Well I suppose we should comment on some negatives of the film, but I personally can't think of any...Hmm...  What do you think CC? Or should we just say it's awesome and be done with it?

There aren’t many negatives in my book, other than some small technical errors that you really have to pay attention to and look for.  I’m not an expert with this sort of thing, so I can’t really comment or say where to look for the small things.  I personally won’t go into them because every movie has its flaws.  I have to say thanks to you Kitsy for agreeing to work with me despite our interesting past.

It was more because of our interesting past than despite it CC... Anyway, it was fun and also, need I mention, the cookies! Mwa ha ha! But seriously.... Where are they? Ooh well I guess we should bid farewell to the ignorant masses for whom we strive to make a slightly better place... Farewell weary travellers, now you may get back to the main reason for the internet!

I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m not responsible for what he says.  On behalf of my movie watching crew, I bid you a pleasant movie experience.

Bad Teacher, it's what I expected

Hey everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick and I check out what's new so you can make an informed decision about what you see in the theaters.  I've been putting this one off for a few days because honestly, I just haven't wanted to touch it.  So, instead of putting it off I'm just going to tackle it.

So here we go with the newest Cameron Diaz flick, Bad Teacher.

I actually didn't intend to see this movie.  I had gone to see Mr Popper's Penguins with Butterfly but the theater was so crowded that we ended up going into Bad Teacher instead.  Neither of us had high hopes for this and I had no desire to see it.  However, it wasn't completely miserable.  If I were to give it a grade, I'd give it a D+.

It's another raunchy comedy and those aren't my personal favorite.  As you may have read in one of my former blogs, I loathed Bridesmaids.  Bad Teacher is a step up from that, however.  It had moments that were genuinely heartwarming and almost seemed like it tried to send a good message.  Even though it never delivered on that, at least they tried.  Bad Teacher has a lot of drinking, a lot of pot smoking and more than enough coarse language to turn a person off.

Cameron Diaz's character is the epitome of horrible teachers.  She shows up hungover and shows movies in class instead of actually teaching.  Also, the plot of the movie centers around her wanting to get breast augmentation.  Yes, you read correctly: A boob job.  She goes to great lengths to get the money for this, even going so far as to steal cash from the school car wash.  The only reason she does this is because she has her eyes set on the new substitute teacher at school, played by Justin Timberlake.  Diaz's character is a gold digger and at the beginning of the film, she is dumped by her sugar daddy.  Scott Delacorte (Timberlake) happens to come from a family with lots of money.

However, the boob job plot seems to take a backseat a lot.  There are lots of scenes that just really don't fit in with the overall movie.  We also have Amy Squirrel, who is an irritatingly upbeat and happy teacher who is the total opposite of Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz).  While Squirrel (played by Lucy Punch) is annoying, she is meant to be so.  Her perkiness counteracts Halsey's laziness.  I do wish they had better explained the "2008 incident" that is referred to a few times.  Maybe I missed what it was, but I know had to do with Squirrel's obsessive behavior.

While all of that is going on, the gym teacher, Russell Gettis (Jason Segel) pursues Halsey but she looks down on him for being a gym teacher.  Eventually he succeeds but probably because of the wrong reasons.

Halsey does get her happy ending, but it's not satisfying.  She clearly doesn't deserve all the good things in her life but she still earns it.

Overall, it's just disappointing.  I laughed twice and giggled maybe a few times.  I'm not a huge fan of overly crude humor and I don't like seeing movies that have to rely on that for laughs.  It also bothered me that Halsey never got fired for her actions, even though she was got caught smoking marijuana on campus, keeps alcohol in her desk and even steals answers to a standardized tests to ensure that she gets a bonus to help her get her plastic surgery.  She never gets in trouble for her actions and never has to atone for them.  I guess good things to happen to horrible people.

I'm happy to report that after this letdown, I'm going to be able to work on my Back to Basics series again soon.  I've recently rewatched The Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended version and I'd like to write about that.  I'm also considering reviewing Suburban Knights, a video series on thatguywiththeglasses.com.  I've been watching it every night since it's release on Monday and I love it.  Again, I doubt the site gives a damn if I write something to promote them, but my goal is to be on their team in two years.  I just need to work on becoming a vlogger instead of a plain old blogger.

Other than my thoughts on Lord of the Rings, I'm going to see the new Transformers movie on Saturday with Butterfly and Fry.  I'm hoping it's better than the second one.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and remember, every pageview I earn makes me money.

Green Lantern to the rescue?

Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm here to save you from wasting money on crap movies.  I'm not saying that all movies I see are crap, nor am I saying that Green Lantern was a terrible movie.  Well, I am saying that in this case...moving on.

Yes, I went and saw Green Lantern last night and to be honest, I didn't like it.  I am a comic book fan, but I'm not big on DC.  My dear friends Squee and Spartacus (obviously not their real names) have explained the Lantern comics to me, but that was well over a year ago, so I don't remember all of what they told me about it.  So, with what little knowledge I had, I braved the crowd to see this new release.

Before I begin, I just want to toss something out there.  I'm not a teenager.  I'm twenty-something, I'm pushy and I yell at people.  I have no shame in yelling at a bunch of teenagers who won't shut the hell up.  In fact, there was a group of teens in the theater last night, about eight of them, who were being obnoxious little brats. Since no one else would do it, I cleared my throat and shouted, "Please be quiet!"  That's right.  When TheCinemaChick raises her voice, you listen.

While on the topic of things that annoy me in theaters, put your damn cell phones away!  I like to sit at the top of the seats and when you use your phone, I can see it.  It's distracting as hell.  If you feel someone throwing popcorn at you when you use your phone during a movie, that's me.  Don't get mad at me, you deserve it for being disrespectful to the others.  I'm not afraid to come after you.

And now, let's get into the newest Ryan Reynolds soon to be bomb, Green Lantern.  As I mentioned, I'm not familiar with this fandom.  I didn't like this movie.  It's not because it's a DC movie or even because it's Ryan Reynolds, but the movie itself was a letdown.  There were so many scenes where I wondered "Why is this shot in here?" or "What does this have to do with the plot?"  And there was a romance angle worked in between Hal Jordan (Reynolds) and Carol Ferris (Blake Lively), which was just awkward.  They made it clear that something in the past had happened to create distance between them, but never bothered to say what it was, unless I totally missed that.  Also, we get a glimpse at Hal's family.  We get the one scene with them and they are never mentioned again.  It's obvious he cares about his nephew, so why isn't he ever mentioned after the birthday scene?  And what was with the random blond chick in Hal's bed in the beginning?  Are we supposed to believe that Hal is a womanizer?

Another thing that bothers me.  Hal Jordan is a pilot.  We get one scene that involves him flying, then it's nothing but everyone else talking about him being a pilot.  I don't understand this either.  Why is there so much emphasis placed on his occupation when he's never shown at it?  How come being a pilot is such a big deal?

Yes, the main theme of this story is overcoming fear, but once again, why is him being a pilot such a big deal? There are tons of other people who could have been chosen, so what made Hal so damn special?  Ok, ok, Abin Sur tells Hal that the ring chose him, but again, what made this one particular person the chosen one?

And the enemy of this movie is Parallax...who I guess is the physical manifestation of fear?  If you can tell me what he is, please do.  I thought he looked like a giant octopus made of ash.  He kills of Hector Hammond, who was also the villain...I think.  Hammond is a xenobiologist who performs the autopsy on Abin Sur after he dies.  Apparently, the purple alien had something on him that infected the human which caused his head to swell to massive and creepy proportions.  I'm guessing Parallax is like a disease.  I don't know.  I have a ton of things that were left wide open for me.  The ending also left me very unsatisfied.  They built up so much anticipation for it, then it was done in like five minutes.

One thing I did like is how the movie poked fun at super heroes and masks  Everyone figures out who the Green Lantern is without him having to reveal it to the world.  Carol even says "Just because I can't see your cheekbones doesn't mean I don't recognize you."
Thank you!
It's like, how the hell don't people know Clark Kent is Superman?  He takes off his glasses and no one knows it's him?  Or is it the brightly colored spandex and cape?  Most of the time, you can easily tell how the super hero really is, despite his mask.  The only exception I can think of is the Christian Bale Batman.  This guy has the suit with the mask that covers most of his face and his voice goes all gravelly.  Now that I understand that, I appreciate his performance even more.  But seriously, it's so obviously still Ryan Reynolds that you'd have to not be looking to not know who it was.  The mask does not hide your identity!

And of course, there is a bonus scene in the credits that sets up for a sequel with the Yellow Lanterns.  Yellow Lanterns have the power of fear.  However, my predictions for this film aren't good.  I'm predicting Green Lantern will make roughly $30-$40 million this weekend and ticket sales will sharply decline when Cars 2 comes out.

And by the way, Mr. Popper's Penguins is getting better reviews. That should tell you something.

Well, I think I've ranted enough about how much I didn't like this movie.  Based on my made up ratings system, I'd say see it in the dollar theater.  Yeah...it's not even worth a matinee.

What's next for TheCinemaChick?
I'm going to a special showing of Lord of The Rings on Tuesday.  The Fellowship of the Ring was last week, so this week is The Two Towers, which is my personal favorite.

It's also Fry's birthday present.  She's going to gain another year in about a week, so she can joke about me being an old woman anymore.

*panics for a moment*

Ok, I just avoided having to scream.  My lovely browser crashed, but thankfully, blogger has autosave so I had a copy of it saved.

Well, that's all I have to say.  I may see Mr. Popper's Penguins, The Art of Getting By and Cars 2.

I am, however, going to "Potter-kah".  Four days with 8 Harry Potter movies leading up to the midnight premire of the final Deathly Hallows film.  I am SUPER excited and thank you to Harkins Theater Southlake for giving me that tip!  I love your theater and will be visiting it more often.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm probably throwing popcorn at you right now.

Super 8 is super awesome.

Hello all you lovely people out there in Internetland!  I'm TheCinemaChick and I had the pleasure of seeing the brand new sci-fi mystery flick, Super 8 last night.  Butterfly provided the tickets, though he won't tell me how.  As suspected, there were lines for the film and we got there an hour early.  The theater did not fill up and sell out as I had thought it would.

Also, being an official film reviewer, I do get inside tips.  Super 8 was released on Thursday because the demand for the movie was so great.  Seriously, presales were selling out all over the country so the studio chose to release it one day early but it was not advertised at all.  Only theater employees and critics were made aware of this.  While I did know about the earlier release, I chose not to see it until Friday most because I did not want to drive twenty minutes out of my way for a 2 hour film.

And, as usual, I will not give away the plot because I know people loathe a spoiler.

Going into this, I had very little knowledge of the movie.  I went in knowing there was a train crash and some kids who wanted to make a movie.  Beyond that, it was a complete mystery.  I didn't hate the movie, in fact I loved it.  True, it wasn't the greatest thing I've ever seen because it did leave me with a bit of a letdown, but it has other factors that made up for it.

Ok, so as many people don't know, I am inspired by other film critics, mainly internet celebs like the Nostalgia Critic and his team.  Currently, I'm watching Welshy's reviews of the Scream movies and I have to use some of his thoughts on Scream about Super 8.  One of the things he liked about Scream is that it wasn't a pure horror film, but took the time to create the characters for people to relate to.  It gave real, human moments that made the action look even more intense.  It made them more relate-able.

Super 8 clearly knew that too.

The film gives us Joe Lamb, the son of the local deputy who is having some personal issues and is the make up artist for his filmmaker bunch.  He falls in love with Alice, played by Elle Fanning (who in my opinion, stole the show) and they have a fairly complicated relationship.  It seems strange to have a romance worked into this because it is so mysterious, but it actually helped the movie along.

What I liked about the movie was that it did create the human angle by giving the characters back stories.  Joe lost his mother, Alice's father drinks and you get to experience their emotions.  Super 8 did not jump straight into the action and aliens and whatnot.  It took time to build up the mystery and create a wonderful sense of tension.  By the time the climax hits, you're more than ready to experience it.  And the ending was incredible and it left a good feeling in my heart.

However...it also left a lot of questions unanswered.  Why was the thing there?  How did it get captured?  What happened to Joe's mom because they just say "It was an accident" and nothing more.  What's going to happen to the town?  Do Joe and Alice end up together?

I have to recommend it because like I said when I was mentioning Welshy, the movie creates characters that people can relate to.  And because they are likable, you like them even more.  And because we do have moments where we get to know the characters, they become deeper and when the bad things happen, you cheer for them and want them to succeed.  I found myself actually hoping for the happy ending and needing that satisfaction most movies leave me without.

Go out and see it.  I think it was worth it, even with the unanswered questions I have.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and coming next week, I'm looking at the special three week showing of the Lord of the Rings trilogy being shown on the big screen with special introductions from Peter Jackson himself.  Since I am a major nerd for this franchise, I'm super excited to go.  Fry's birthday is also in June, so this is sort of her celebration.  Plus, Butterfly has said he'll join us now.

So there you go folks.  I'm still continuing my "back to basics" series, I just have to choose between two films I love.  I'll go over them both, I just don't know which to do first.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and on behalf of my movie watching crew, I bid you a pleasant movie theater experience.

(Also, I don't know Welshy and Welshy doesn't know me, I credit him for the things he said about Scream that I applied to Super 8 and had no intentions of plagiarizing him.  He's awesome and I'm pretty sure he'd be cool knowing some random person out there is referencing him.  I don't know...)

Back to Basics - Memoirs of a Geisha

Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick and I review movies.  As you may have noted from yesterday's blog, I felt a little distraught.  Well, Bridesmaids was such a cinematic abomination that I lost all hope in film.  However, since then, I have had several good things happen in my day that I believe that my faith in movies can and will be restored.


So I'm going back to the films that inspired me to learn more about cinematography, script writing and in doing so, I hope to rekindle the thrill I get when I watch movies.


Enough poetics.  


Tonight, I want to talk about Memoirs of a Geisha.  I have actually written a fifteen page essay on the technical and artistic aspects of it while comparing it as an adaptation of the book.  Yeah...and people think being an English major is easy.  TAKE THAT!
*clears throat*
The movie is not an accurate representation of the Japanese geisha culture, but it's fairly close.  I can make an entire blog on the inaccuracies alone, but I won't.  One of the main problems with the film is that it was cast with mainly Chinese actors.  It caused a big problem, but in America, I think it was overlooked.  Honestly, how many people know offhand that Ziyi Zhang is Chinese?


Now, the book and the movie are very different, but I will only discuss the movie, though I am a fan of both.


The film centers around Chiyo, a poor fisherman's daughter.  She and her older sister Satsu are sold to Tanaka, who takes them to Kyoto.  Chiyo remains at the okiya while Satsu is taken to the "pleasure district"  Don't think about her too much because Satsu's fate is never truly explained.  At one point, it says that she ran away and nothing more.  Yeah...I'd like to know more too...
Chiyo then meets Pumpkin, who is a girl her age and in training to become a geisha.  It is in this scene that Chiyo learns what her own fate will be.  She was sold to Mother to become a geisha as well.  Chiyo resists this idea and instead plots about how she will escape, find her sister and go home.  Obviously she fails or this would be a very short movie.  After the final escape attempt where she breaks her arm, Chiyo receives a litter informing her that both her parents have passed away.
Let me backtrack for a moment.  Right before finding out her parents are dead, Chiyo catches Hatsumomo having sex with Koichi, which is forbidden.  When they are caught, Chiyo rats out the older girl, which causes the okiya to be locked down so she tries to go over the roof.  Clearly that did not go so well, but she tried.  Also, by this point, Chiyo has destroyed a very expensive kimono belonging to Mameha.  Hatsumomo and her friend came home drunk and Hatsumomo told Chiyo do deface the kimono in exchange for information about Satsu.  Because of all this, Chiyo is no longer allowed to be in geisha training and must now work as a maid in the okiya to pay off her debts.
Feeling depressed, she sits on a bridge and cries when a man spots her.  This is our introduction to The Chairman, who only goes by this name.  He cheers Chiyo up and buys her a shave ice, then gives her money. She then donates it to a shrine and vows to become a geisha just so she can see him again.  Mameha returns and accepts Chiyo as a little sister, once Chiyo is a young woman.  She learns quickly, eventually becoming Sayuri, the most famous geisha in Gion.  She even lands the lead in the Spring Dances.
One quick note about adaptations here.  If you've seen the film, you know how intense and emotional Sayuri's snow dance is.  In reality, it wouldn't be that exciting.  I'm not saying it's boring by any means but a lot of the movie was written with the American audience in mind.  No offense to us, but like things to be exciting and interesting and attention grabbing.  Since the actual geisha culture is so demure, the filmmakers spiced it up a bit to make things seem intriguing.
The jealousy between Hatsumomo, who has taken Pumpkin under her wing, and Sayuri grows.  Hatsumomo accuses Sayuri of sleeping with the Baron because while attending a party he throws, she is stripped of her kimono.  I'm not sure if there was rape involved, but it is hinted when the line "who would want the plum when someone has already taken a bite?" is mentioned.  While all my research tells me it did not happen and it is just Hatsumomo being catty, you have to admit, in the scene, you seriously think the Baron will force himself upon Sayuri.  
Hatsumomo learns of Sayuri's long time love of the Chairman which leads to Hatsumomo breaking down completely and setting the okiya on fire.  In the film, she vanishes into the mist but the book says she became a pleasure geisha.
And World War II sets in, the geisha's all leave the city.  Sayuri ends up doing manual labor, dying fabrics for years until Nobu, the Chairman's associate finds her and brings her back to help entertain the Americans.  Pumpkin also returns, but it is clear she has been deeply influenced by Western culture.  Her accent has lessened and she is seen smoking with some soldiers. Pumpkin, Sayuri, Nobu and the Chairman go to the Amami islands with the Americans, where Sayuri is caught in a compromising situation with the Colonel.  She had intended for Nobu to see this but Pumpkin brought the Chairman in hopes of hurting Sayuri.  Pumpkin had once believed that Mother would adopt her and leave her the okiya, but that decision was changed when Sayuri was adopted instead.
Feeling lost and utterly betrayed, they all return home.  Sayuri gets a call asking her to go to the teahouse and believes someone has expressed an interest in becoming her danna.  A danna is a man who supports a geisha, not to be confused with a pimp or sugar daddy.  She believes it to be Nobu, but it turns out to be the Chairman.  They express their love, share a kiss and the credits roll.  


In the book, it goes to an epilogue of how she grew old and moved to New York with her son to avoid controversy.  Though it does out flat out say it, the reader can assume that the Chairman and Sayuri had a child together.  


This film did win some Oscars, for Best Costume Design, Best Art Direction and Best Cinematography.  Each of those was well deserved in my opinion because the movie manages to portray mood through colors and settings alone.  The costumes were absolutely gorgeous and they did a lot to make this happen.  


Yeah, it can be seen as a typical romance movie, but the scenery and costumes make up for it.  I only had one problem with the movie and I think it's blaringly obvious as to what it is.  Chiyo and Pumpkin are the only characters that age at all.  The time skip is at least ten years but everyone looks the same.  So either everyone has some damn good genes or those two girls will look terrible in their thirties. 


I have two favorite scenes.  One of them is the dance scene because of the emotional intensity portrayed and the other is when Sayuri stands on a cliff and lets go of the Chairman's handkerchief she has held so long.  It's symbolic in that she shows heartbreak without actually saying it or getting all sappy.  The scene is nothing but shades of grey and blue as she bids goodbye to the man she's loved.  And it is all summed up so well in the voice over, "The heart dies a slow death. Shedding each hope like leaves, until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains."


That's how I feel about a pretty harsh breakup I've recently gone through.  I loved him dearly but as each day passes, the pain lessens, fading until it is nothing more but a faint dull throb.  The love will never die, but it will become nothing but a memory of what I once had with him.


I've said pretty much all I can on this movie.  It's not for everyone but it's worth watching at least twice.  Watch it once for the visuals, then again for the plot.  Trust me, you will not be disappointed.  If you are, I can't help you.


Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm going back to basics.  I'm looking at the movies you might not know very well, but should, the movies that inspired me to be who I am now.

Bridesmaids...Really?

Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick and today I'm going to talk about Bridesmaids.  I didn't have much of a desire to see this movie and after seeing it, I understand why.  If you've seen either of the Hangover movies, you've seen this all female version.

I pretty much hated it.  I only saw it because there was nothing else to see at my local theater.  That's right, I have seen everything out there, which if you think about it, is pretty sad.  I know I have no life whatsoever, but knowing that I've seen every movie at the theater...really makes me seem pathetic.  Well, I mean, I know I am but that's beside the point.

The first scene of the film was sex.  There actually wasn't a lot of sex but to open with it was a little crude.  After that, things didn't really improve much.  Granted it was nowhere near the degree that The Hangover was, but I guess when it's women doing the same thing, it's somehow worse.  Yeah, I know, men and women belch and fart and get sick, but it doesn't need to be shown to us on the big screen.  Not to mention, that stuff is disgusting!  I hate throwing up as much as the next person, so why the hell would I want to see it?

Even the plot was mediocre.  It was like any other romantic comedy out there.  Two best friends, one's getting married and the other's life isn't going so well.  They get in a fight, they stop speaking for a while then everything comes together.  Everything turns out perfect for everyone.

Let me rant for a moment.  Nothing ever turns out great.  Life doesn't end up as you want it.  Things go wrong and when you lose the guy, you won't always win him back.  You don't get everything.  You're going to have times that suck and times that are awesome.
Well, unless you live my life.  My life pretty much sucks but I'm not going to bore you on how much my world sucks.

In short, don't bother with Bridesmaids.  It's just crass, full of bad language and I personally found it boring.  There were very few moments where I found something genuinely funny.  Overall, it's just a worse version of The Hangover.  I don't see the appeal of movies like these, but they seem to be pretty popular lately.  Bridesmaids did really well, as have both Hangover movies.  I really don't understand why someone would want to see a movie with such crude humor.

On a personal note, I think I may be ending this blog.  My personal life is complicated and I have some things I need to work out.  I'm pretty sure almost no one reads this anyway.

Well...I'm TheCinemaChick...have a pleasurable movie going experience.

Bad Movie Bonanza - X3: The Last Stand

Hey everyone, I’m TheCinemaChick and tonight I am joined by Kit Kat as we discuss X3: The Last Stand.  I admit to being a comic book geek and I have a vast and often useless knowledge about the series.  I’m a Marvel, not a DC.  As you’ve guessed, I’ve also seen every movie about this out there.  So lets get one thing straight: I didn’t hate X3, but the movie just tried to do too much at once.  It was confusing and didn’t leave me with a good sense of finality.  All right Kit Kat, say hello to the nice people.

Hey everyone. I’m right there with TheCinemaChick. I’m usually around to bash a movie. However, I didn’t completely hate this movie either. For me, I had way too many moments where I was left going: “But wait, what just happened? Where is this person or that person?” Just rather confused all around with good visuals to stare at.

Let’s address the obvious question.  Where the hell is Nightcrawler?  He was such a big part of the second movie then they didn’t clarify what happened to him and doesn’t even show up in the third film?  He is a fan favorite so why take him out.  Here’s a juicy tidbit for you.  Nightcrawler had a cameo in the third film, but it was deleted!  I want to see this now!

That’s the question I’ve been asking all along. Save for Rogue, Nightcrawler is one of my favorite characters. If nothing else they should have one of the characters at least a mention him. If nothing else, he could have been very helpful in the battle against the mutants fighting Magneto. Then, of course, you have the X-men video’s usual jumping around from storyline to storyline with no real reason for any of them save for Rouge’s reaction to them having a cure.

Here’s another tidbit I have discovered.  Let’s look at the end fight between Jean and Wolverine.  Her…aura, I guess we’ll call it…is destroying everything.  It’s ripping Wolverine’s flesh from his body and his shirt disintegrates.  So…how are his pants still on?  Don’t think I’m a pervert, this is pointed out on IMDB and it raises a valid point.  If she is strong enough to shred his skin, how can his pants still be on?

That is a valid question. One I’ve thought about as well. However, the only thing I can come up with is the fact that by the time the top half of his uniform is shredded is after he is close enough to Jean that her focus narrows onto his top half. Cause, if you really want to kill someone, I doubt you are going to aim for their legs first. More the head and heart. The main issue I have with the scene itself is that all of the others in the area disintegrate instantly when her power touches them. And while Wolverine has some amazing regenerative powers it usually takes longer for him to heal something serious. How is it that now that process has sped up more than enough to heal against a power that can disintegrate on contact?

He was saved by love, Kit Kat...saved by love.

Yeah well, if love was that strong then apparently Scott aka Cyclops didn’t really love Jean at all.

Minor details aside, my main issue with this film is that it wanted to tell too many stories at once.  Let’s look at the plots going on: Angel and his daddy issues, Rogue and the Cure, Mutants against the Cure, Magneto’s war on humanity, Magneto’s army, Jean and the Phoenix Saga (WHICH IS COMPLETELY WRONG!!) and Scott’s and Professor Xavier’s deaths.  That’s eight.  Eight storylines to cover in 104 minutes…one hour and 44 minutes.

And with that many storylines going on no one can do them any kind of justice in one hour and 44 minutes. It’s impossible. Hell Titanic had less going on and it took two hours of movie.

Wasn't Titanic like 4 hours long?

194 minutes, more like 3 hours

Here's an idea.  This movie could have worked with it's storyline.  If they had broken it up like a collection of short stories.  Give each person their own chapter and give us what we want, the story and how it ends.  I will cut the movie some slack.  It didn't have the original director and producers, it was hastily made due to scheduling conflicts and budget problems

Very true. At least, in my eyes, that those moments that have to be made with CGI or models, they look real if you buy into the mutant powers and the lore behind it. To me, it looked like the Golden Gate Bridge was flying through the air. It really looked like the destruction of a building with water shooting up in the air all around. They took the time to make what they had as good as they could make it.

I’ll agree with you there, Kit Kat.  I did like the effects.  Plus, I admit freely that I love Wolverine.  I am a little annoyed that they had so many characters thrown in and almost none of them were introduced.  Apparently, they had Spike (who was created purely for the X-Men Evolution animated series), Psylocke, Phat and Leech.  Don’t know who those characters are?  Don’t worry, only true, hardcore geeks like me know about them.  My point, however, is that they were grossly misinterpreted.  For instance, the purple haired chick with a labret piercing is Psylocke.  She seems to have super speed, when in the Marvel world, she is a telepath and British!  WTF?

Another good point, why put in characters that you’re never gonna give names to that play any role in the series at all? If you are going to add in these characters at least get them right in appearance and backstory. In any case, the parts that didn’t confuse me or make me wonder for the wrong reasons I loved.

I wanted to like this movie, I really did.  I just left feeling so confused and frustrated.  It didn’t give me the satisfaction a movie should give a watcher.  Plus, there is a scene after the credits that hints at a fourth movie in the franchise.  Originally it was going to have Charles playing chess with Magneto at the end, only Charles would be in a different body.  Instead there is a hidden scene where Moira MacTaggert is spoken to by a comatose patient with Xavier’s voice.  But nope, Charles Xavier is dead, along with the original X-Men franchise.

Well, I think I’ve hit all the points I can about this movie. I don’t see me going to any movie that connects to the end of X-men 3. It would just be pointless to me. I’ll be back for the next episode of the Bad Movie Bonanza. I’m Kit Kat and no movie is too good or too bad for a review.

And I’m TheCinemaChick, ready to stop bad films everywhere.

Mutants are the future!

Hello everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick and today I have the honor of reviewing X-Men: First Class.  As usual, I can't go into the plot because it was released today, but I will give you my honest opinions on it.

First off, I am a comic book snob.  I know the history of the X-Men better than almost all my friends.  I'm a hardcore Marvel girl, not to be confused with Ms. Marvel, who is one of the early characters in the comics.  I will try to restrain myself from going off on a tangent about why the movie wasn't as good as it could have been.

Ok, I did enjoy the movie.  Then again, I love almost anything X-Men related, with the exception of X3.  I might do that on my next Bad Movie Bonanza, it was that horrible to me.  In First Class, we are introduced to some unfamiliar faces, such as Angel, Banshee and even Havok.  Banshee was in the original animated series and in the second X-Men movie, there was a little girl named Siren who had the same powers.  She is actually Banshee's future daughter.  Angel is completely new to me.  I did not know she existed until I researched her.  She has dragonfly wings which allow her to fly and can projectile vomit acid.  Sounds gross, but it's not as bad in the film.  Havok, AKA Alex Summers (as in Scott Summers AKA Cyclop's little brother) has the power to release energy in destructive blasts.  We also have Beast, Mystique, Professor X and Magneto

One aspect I liked was that we learned more about Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr.  I think they have interesting back stories, so the movie did a good job showing us how each man came to be who he is.  On the flip side, there are things I did not agree with at all.

I was also thrilled to see Sebastian Shaw from the Hellfire Club.  I like that Marvel is branching out from focusing mostly on Wolverine or Rogue.  I'll admit, if they did origin stories for more characters, I'd go see them.

I recommend X-Men: First Class to everyone, especially to those who are comic book geeks like me.  You'll love the Easter eggs hidden throughout the movie.

**SPOILER ALERT**
Two extremely famous characters make cameos in the movie!  One is obvious, one isn't.  Trust me, you'll know it when you see it.
Also, keep an eye out for a young Storm.
**zips lips**

Ok, ok, I'll admit.  I'm an X-Men fangirl.  I was super excited about this, but I did leave with mild disappointment.  The entire movie dragged a little too much for me and you don't really learn anything about the minor characters.  You won't hear anything about Angel's history or Sebastian Shaw.  Even with all the new mutants, its still all about Charles Xavier and Magneto.

So what does TheCinemaChick think?
Go forth and view.  It's enjoyable no matter what.  Not to mention, it has a lot going on.  I'd pay full price to see it, but I chose a matinée thinking I could avoid all the teenagers.  Fry informed me school is out for the year so we're not going to have our quiet theater anymore.
*sigh*
Though, that is the first time I've ever seen an entire theatre cheer for a F bomb.

Now that you've read this, go out and see it.  Go now.  Pick up your keys and leave.  No?  Fine, see it on your own time them.

TheCinemaChick prediction: I'm going to say this will make at least $50 million opening weekend.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm wondering what's next on my list.  Have a pleasant theater experience.

Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick

Hello everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick.  I've been reviewing films here for a few months, but I'd like to let you all know a little more about me.  While I have never received questions about myself, I imagine there would be some main ones people might ask.  Come to think of it, I've only gotten one comment out of all my blogs...

Well, here we go.  Time for some show and tell.

Kit Kat will be asking the questions and I shall respond to the best of my ability.

Why did you start reviewing movies as TheCinemaChick?

I thought TheCinemaChick sounded pretty cool and I figured I have tons of opinions on movies coming out, so why not share them with the internet?  Plus, it keeps me off the streets and away from drugs.

When you started reviewing movies, did you ever think that it would lead to anything beyond just writing a blog for fun?

Honestly, no.

About the other people that help you review the movies on your blog, how did those people become involved in your blog?

Most of them had no choice.  I'd see the movie with them, then start quoting them and probably two weeks later, I'd mention it to them.  After a while, I just told them "Whatever you say about the movie will end up in the blog" and they're all cool with it.  Everyone has given verbal consent and I use strange names to keep them anonymous.  99% of my movie crew is located in a 10 mile radius of me, except for Kit Kat, who lives up in Tennessee.  She and I have met, she spent New Year's with me and Fry.  We saw Tangled together.  Fry is my main movie buddy, followed closely by Butterfly and Just Joe.  Kit Kat does Bad Movie Bonanza with me and Zaden is a contributor.  She's awesome and has some recipes worth checking out.

Do you actually have a cycle of themes you rotate on, do you simply review movies as they come out, or is it just random when it comes to movies you review?

I review new releases mostly because people are curious about them.  If a movie is bad and not worth wasting money on, they have a right to know.  Granted, I don't expect people to take my word for it.  If you are genuinely interested in something I hate, go see it.  Just because it's not in my favorites doesn't mean someone else loves it.

 Also, I review movies I like that are older or maybe unheard of.  There are so many movies that get looked over that are worth checking out. 

 And of course, I do Bad Movie Bonanza, which is like spitting on my childhood.  Sure, the movies were awesome back then, but looking back, they were terrible.  Kit Kat is my accomplice with that and we have different tastes.  Sometimes it takes us days to pick a movie to destroy.

Speaking of movies to destroy with a review, what is the worse movie you've ever had to review? And then on the flip side what was a movie that you loved to review?

Worst movie to review...so far, I'd have to say Source Code because I absolutely hated it.  It was like watching the same two scenes, both of which are ten minutes, and replaying them over and over and over and over for two hours.

 As for best, that one is difficult.  My favorite review right now is for "Season of the Witch" because I created a drinking game for how many times Nicolas Cage changes accents.  The movie was so bad it turned into a comedy, but that just made it fun to discuss later.

Is there any particular genre of movies that you like best?

Fantasy, horror and animated.  I loathe and abhor romantic comedies.  Those have all become so predictable and don't even get me started on the "why I don't like Katherine Heigl" rant.

You mentioned before the movies from your childhood, are there any specific ones you'd like to go back and review for better or worse and why?

Specific ones, probably Ferngully and TONS of old Disney movies.  I want to rediscover their older animated movies and possibly look at some claymation if possible.  As for why...why does anyone do anything?  Why are we here? *goes philosophical*

What movies will be coming up for a review in the near future?

It's the summer movie season so there are movies coming out every week.  I'm going to see the new X-Men in about 10 hours, I have plans to see the final Harry Potter film, along with whatever appeals to me or whatever Butterfly drags me to see.  I am resisting seeing Breaking Dawn because I'm not a fan but sadly *sighs* I know I'll see it.  Fry and Butterfly want to see it so between those two...guess who's going to be in the theater with a bunch os sparkly vampire loving tweens?

As far as your blog is concerned, where do you hope that it'll be in the next 5 to 10 years?

I hope to one day be as awesome as the Nostalgia Critic.  I aspire to gain internet fame.

How have you been able to try and gain people to come and read your blog?

Word of mouth mostly.  I sort of badger my friends into reading it, I have a fan page on Facebook, I have a Twitter account and people who search for movies online can come across my blog in their searches, so that helps.

If you could be any character from any movie which one would it be and why?

Any character Helena Bonham Carter has played because it's Helena Bonham Carter

Have you ever been a fangirl for a movie or series of movies?

*unashamedly fangirl of Harry Potter and X-Men*

Have you ever given a girly squeal at a character in a movie?

...yes.  I squealed for Cedric Diggory, shirtless Jacob Black and Wolverine.

Is there anything else you'd like to reveal or say to those who read your blog?

If Film Brain or Todd in the Shadows ever see this, I would love love love to collaborate with them.  I'm a total nerd for them and I'd love to make this blog into a vlog in the future.  Perhaps more people will join with me and hopefully I'll have more people reading this.

Well guys, there you go.  That’s a little more info about me.  Thanks to Kit Kat for providing the questions.

On behalf of my movie crew, I’m TheCinemaChick and I bid you all a pleasant theater experience.