The Twilight Rant Part 2: Twilight

Hello everyone out there in blog land, I’m TheCinemaChick!  Kit Kat and I are now on Part Dos of the five part series I call “The Twilight Rant”.  It’s not much of a rant, more of an in depth analysis with snarky commentary.  You’ve seen our opinions on the casting, so let’s dive right in to the vat of glitter known simply as “Twilight”.  Say hi to the nice people Kit Kat.

Hey guys, this is Kit Kat. And I'm personally ready to jump right into the movies themselves and really look at them more deeply. So, how do you wanna start this one off CinemaChick?

Because this movie has been out for a while, we’re going to begin with the plot.  I see it as a thinly veiled modern version of Romeo and Juliet.  We start off with a voiceover, having Bella say something about death before we get our first glimpse of her.  I hate voiceovers.  I think they are expositional and clunky.  If you haven’t read the books, you won’t understand what she’s talking about or why she’s even in Arizona.  So far, my favorite character is the cactus she holds.

Sadly, I do have to agree. They could have started out this movie a bit better for those who haven't read the series. Seems like common sense to me but then again a person is smart and people are stupid. However, the voice over continues through the first 15 minutes of movie. The first line that was actually spoken by a character is Bella's father police chief Charlie Swan. For those who don't like slow beginnings to movies then you will NOT like the beginning of this movie. You don't even get much of an insight into the human kids that Bella automatically becomes friends with till the Cullens appear in the cafeteria scene.

One more thing about the voiceover, then I’ll go on.  If you’re going to use it, use it wisely.  It happens sporadically throughout so the voiceover doesn’t even make sense.  Are we getting her inner monologue or did they get tacked on post production to make the movie seem more exciting?  We have one at the beginning and towards the end and I think one or two between that. 

And I agree with Kit Kat.  The human characters are glossed over.  I’m sorry we couldn’t spend the full two hours watching Bella and Edward stare dreamily into each others eyes while they lay in a flower filled meadow.  Seriously, I get that it’s a romantic movie, but this is so sweet I might as well drink maple syrup while chowing down on cotton candy.

Then, of course, comes the interaction with Edward that is punctuated with moments of her human friends one at a time as if more than one at a time was too much. Even the parts with Edward were lack luster. True, Edward was on the verge of being a full blown emo but Bella didn't help matters with her lack of anything concerning a realistic looking emotion in her facial expressions. That is of course after Edward bolts from school for weeks because he can't stand the way Bella smells to him...as in she smells too good. Would've made a funny moment if she actually smelled bad but that's just me.

Thus beginning a very awkward relationship.  Bella attempts to understand him but doesn’t.  So, her human friends, who apparently aren’t even worth naming, invite her to go down to La Push to go surfing.  Well, Washington is the place for choice waves…what the hell…and Bella invites Edward who magically pops back into her life.  I’ll admit, I like the line “Your mood swings are giving me whiplash.”  Proof that boys are just as moody as girls.  So, they all go to the beach where we meet Jacob for a second time and his two groupies.  Don’t get attached to the other 2 boys, you’ll never see them again.  I also had to laugh because Bella’s sad attempt at being social is such a complete failure.  She’s around people but she makes no effort to even pretend that she’s happy to have friends.  To make matters worse, she just up and goes for a walk with Jacob.  Way to make friends there, Bella.

Then, Bella has suddenly gotten so attached to Edward by this point that she almost looks disappointed when he doesn't come to school on sunny days. Seems to me that the shopping trip with her supposed friends is actually playing third fiddle because the second goes to not being around Edward while the first is to get a book she looked up on the net about legends. At least at the dress store they make a nod to the guys that later are magically in the area that Bella walks through after going to the bookstore so it's not completely random when they drunkenly stalk her into an area. Of course, Edward (the "stupid shiny Volvo owner") comes to her rescue.

And they go back into town, where Bella meets up with her human female friends who have eaten dinner.  She has dinner with Edward where he admits he can read minds, just not hers.  I had to laugh when he goes around the room, reading minds. “Money, sex, money, sex…cat.”  And what happens next?  Bella turns it around and makes it all about her.  She thinks there is something wrong with her.  I have to agree with Edward when he wonders why she thinks about herself when he confesses to having a supernatural power.  That’s not something that happens on a daily basis.  I mean, Kit Kat, what would you do if I randomly admit that I had telepathy?

I personally would have a mental blank as it settled and go "Um...how?" Like it was something that just happened. Not the most intelligent of responses I'll admit but more realistic I think. And then they make the drive home and have the whole "wow you're cold" silent communication thing. Then, the one sequence that makes no sense to me at all. The moment Bella realizes the Cullens are vampires. She reads the book and websites and words like "cold" and "pale-skinned" become bold and jump out towards the screen with the oddly dramatic music. This music continues on into the next day at school where Bella and Edward casually walk off the school grounds to head into the forest and no one says anything.

WHAT THE HELL?  No one cares that two teens are just walking off campus and heading into a huge forest alone on a school day?  And of course we have the “I know what you are” speech where she calls Edward out on being a vampire.  This scene had the potential to be good and romantic, but here’s my problem with it.  At this point in the film, it seems like Bella and Edward barely know each other and really have nothing in common.  Why are they declaring their love for each other so soon?  The relationship went way too fast and got way too intense.  For the love of pickles, he said he wanted to kill Bella and she looked like she might be turned on by that idea!  She almost goads him into biting her neck right there when he shows restraint!  Cheers to you Edward for trying to ward off her unnecessarily strong advances for about 5 minutes before giving in and showing off your glitter rubbed body.  By the way Robert Pattinson, you don’t have a hot body, but I appreciate that.  Not all hot guys need to have 6 pack abs.

Then, they play right into what everyone thinks a romantic tween movie should have, the always awkard 'I want you to meet my parents' scene. But excuse me, don't you do that with the girl you are planning to marry? I doubt you do that with every girl or guy you date. WAY too serious too soon. Then again, this is one of the what...two...three scenes where Edward's family finally gets the chance to say something. Once again, his family seems like an after thought. Though, I do love the moment where Rose gets so ticked she breaks the salad bowl.

Say what you want about Rosalie, but I agree with her.  Bella is putting the family in danger by dating Edward.  The tension is diffused when Alice enters the kitchen with Jasper in tow.  I’ll admit, I wanted to hug Jasper in this scene and tell him he’d be all right.  The man needs more hugs.  Then it goes to a brief tour and yet another scene of them in the forest.  Ok…the whole forest thing is played out already.  And we haven’t even touched on the bad guys yet.  Keep in mind we have all three baddies in this film and they play such a minor role.  Sad…I really liked James.

Yeah, I felt bad for poor Jasper. And he gets like one line. But then with the whole forest deal it's like 'yeah, we get it, they love each other, they live in the forest. now get to the story all ready!' *ahem* Anyway, we eventually get to the part where Edward is gonna bring Bella along to play umpire for a game of vampire baseball. This is one of the scenes I really liked in this movie. The music was perfect and it showed off the vampires and their skills. But of course, we have to have SOMETHING go wrong. If something didn't I might have walked out of the theater. I wanted some action and this is where the "evil" nomad vampires wander into the scene. Oops doesn't seem like such a smart idea now to have Bella around does it? Maybe you really should have waited till they completely left town before starting up a game.

I want to spend some time on the baseball scene, but there is one thing I want to touch on before that.  Bella brings Edward home to properly meet Charlie.  I will admit this.  Charlie is my favorite human in the series.  Bella almost begs for him to meet her boyfriend and at this point, he’s cleaning a shot gun.  When he agrees, Charlie cocks the gun (I assume, I don’t know guns.) and says “All right, bring him in.”  Best.  Scene. In the entire series.

Actually, he was cleaning in the barrels of the gun and he jerked on the stock of the gun to snap the barrels back into place. But close enough. That really is a classic scene. You almost need a banjo playing.

The baseball scene is by far one of the most important ones in the film.  It’s the first time we get all the Cullens really interacting with each other while listening to “Supermassive Black Hole” by Muse.  I have to love Jasper tossing the bat in his hand because he doesn’t look pained for a change.  Plus, there is some awesome Kellan Lutz action going on.  Even in a boring sweatsuit, the man looks hot!

I have to say, I was oogling Jasper every second I could. It was then that I really grew to love Jasper over the other possible guys. He is truly in his element and not pretending to be anything else. And Alice is a kick-ass pitcher. We even have some tension between Bella and Rose when Bella decides that Rose was tagged out at home base. Personally, I might have had an issue if she had directed that look at me.

And then we have the drama.  Alice has a vision of the nomads arriving moments before it happens.  James, Victoria and Laurent show up and the Cullens try and hide Bella, which doesn’t work out.  The wind blows, her scent is caught by James and it all goes to hell.  What I don’t understand is why James wants to kill Bella, other than that she is a human.  Is he just that insane?

Or maybe he wants a snack and she's the closest in proximity. In any case, it gets stated, I believe that because Edward protected Bella it made it a game for James. A game to see if he could get past Edward and kill Bella. Well, drink her blood till she dies. So Edward starts trying to drive her out of the city but Bella worries about her father. So, with the bare minimum of convincing and no explanation they appear back at Charlie's house with Bella suddenly angry at Edward and packing up her things to drive back to Arizona. Of course, Edward is in her room to help her so we find out this is the plan to keep James from going after her father. Bella has to "get mean" to make her father let her go. Personally, the acting could have used more work.

I’d shoot for a better plot.  So, in one night, Alice and Jasper get Bella to Arizona while the others go to huge efforts to hide her tracks.  Again, why are they working so hard to help her when she’s barely been with Edward?  Also, where’s Esme?  Take a look for yourself.  She’s not there!  So, Alice has a vision and Bella stupidly goes to take on James by herself in a ballet studio.  Great idea, dumbass.  Go fight the strong vampire in a building full of glass.  And you barely even put up a fight Bella.  I’m sure feminism is disappointed in you.

I mean yeah, he supposedly has her mother and what not but her stupidity aside. Alice can see the future right? And this whole time she's been watching James' movements in relation to Bella. So...how does Bella manage to sneak past both Alice AND Jasper in the lobby, get a taxi, and ride all the way to the ballet studio which apparently takes till night to get to and they aren't there... And then there is this huge window of time where James hurts Bella while he records it and still no one shows. It's not till James starts to really get angry that Edward shows first. Hell, where are Alice and the others? Alice and Jasper were the closest. How the heck does Edward get there so far ahead of them? Edward was with Carlisle and Emmett so they all knew where Bella was being held. Why don't they come too?

I’ve wondered the same thing too.  Remember in the baseball scene, it was stated that Edward is the fastest one, so that’s one explanation but since the other ones show up seconds later…well, screw that idea.  Let’s just assume the hauled ass all the way and didn’t get a ticket or need to stop for gas.  But James does a number on Bella, cutting her up, breaking her leg and almost turning her.  Edward kills James and drinks her blood to get the venom out.  Why didn’t he just let it happen?  That’s what she wants, to become a vampire and live with Edward forever after only maybe 5 months of dating.  But no, he drains her, she passes out, then we’re at a hospital with her mother. 

Remember CinemaChick, Edward believe he doesn't have a soul and that he would be taking Bella's life from her. He wants her to live as long as a human as she can. Yeah, that’s going REALLY well so far. She nearly died cause you didn't turn her you idiot.

But back to the hospital, after a talk with her mom who leaves to call Charlie or something, Edward finally comes to talk to Bella. This brings about the weirdest freak out ever when someone has told the other than they don’t think they should be near each other. Bella stutters more than anyone I know in this scene and her lack of making completely sentences really gets messed up. However, this stuttering thing seems to do the trick and Edward gives in.

Then we’re back in Forks, just in time for prom, conveniently.  Apparently Charlie is over the fight and he waits downstairs with Edward while Bella gets ready.  She heads down in a lovely blue dress…only to ruin it with her grandmother’s sweater.  I can get past the boot and the sneaker, but that sweater is hideous.  They go to the dance where Jacob shows up, telling her to stay away from the Cullens and does not explain further.  Bella and Edward go in, they dance, she begs to be turned and we pretty much have the end of the film.  The final shot is of Victoria watching them from a window, then turning to leave, looking very sad.

And then looking very devious and determined. And then the credits roll with some moments from the movie. And that's pretty much it. We could go into further detail about how some of the scenes in the movie don't exist in the book, at least not in the same form. Personally, I'm a book lover and if I read a book and the movie comes after it I expect certain things to be true. The most important thing: the characters stay true to form from the book to the movie. There are moments that is true but that's not enough for me. I wanted to really see these characters personalities come out through the movie like they were in the book.

I still hate the movie.  I dislike the boring plot, the overdrawn exposition and the lack of any real acting talent.  However, I liked how they kept all of the colors muted throughout to give the film a serious tone.  There are pops of color at moments of interest, but other than that, it’s almost like a grey scale film.  I would be glad if they had spent less time in the forest.  We get it.  Forks is rainy, boring as hell and apparently surrounded by trees.  How many times must we establish that?  And Stephanie Meyer even makes a cameo in her own film.  I find that cheesy.  Alfred Hitchcock did it, yes, but the man is a legend.  He earned his right to appear in every film.  She has not.  Basically, it’s another lame teen romance that just gets weird as it goes along.

I totally agree with you there CinemaChick. There were more downs than ups the majority of the time. Unfortunately, for those that haven't read the books you can't skip watching the first movie. Otherwise, you'll have an even harder time figuring out just what the hell is going on. Then again, the movie doesn't really help either.

You know, Kit Kat, I think you could skip the first movie.  The second one could stand alone since they don’t reference anything from the first film and just picks up on a completely different plot.  But, we’ll get to the second movie next time.  For now, I’m going to read a good book and try not to think about Edward Cullen or his ridiculous hair style.

And I think you're right CinemaChick. I'm gonna head off and work on a fanfic of Twilight...that actually makes sense.

Well, I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m watching the Twilight series and being completely honest about what I think.  On behalf of Kit Kat and all my movie buddies, I bid you a pleasant movie watching experience.

The Twilight Rant Part 1: Cast and Characters

Hello all you lovely people on the internet!  I’m TheCinemaChick and this is the beginning of a wonderful new project.  Kit Kat and I are anticipating the release of Breaking Dawn by looking back at the three previous movies in the Twilight Saga.  As I have stated, I’m not a fan of the series, but I’ve read the books and seen all the films to date.  Kit Kat is more a fan than I am and Fry…well, we’ll get back to that if she ever gets back to me.  So here we go: “Twilight: The Good, The Bad and the WTF moments.”

Hey this is Kit Kat and it's very true. The Twilight series has been something I followed for the longest time. However, I was a late bloomer. I didn't even know there was a book series till I mentioned seeing the preview for a movie coming out called Twilight. A friend told me about the books and I was hooked on the books and couldn't wait to see what the movies were like.

As for me, Fry introduced me to the books.  I read them, nothing really jumped out at me and hooked me, but I took into consideration that it was her first novel.  With that in mind, I continued to read the series thinking it would improve as it went.

Sadly, it didn’t, but we’re not focusing on why I hate this series.  I’m trying to keep an open mine with this one.  Trust me, trying to find a bright side to Twilight is quite a challenge for me.

Yes, I know what a struggle this is for you CinemaChick and I'll help you get through it. What are friends for after all. Best plow on ahead to the first topic of this project, dontcha think? The sooner we get going the sooner it's over.

…They sparkle!  They freaking sparkle!  No vampire does that ever, it’s not natural…not that being a vampire is natural…it breaks my brain!

Calm yourself sweetie. Well,looks like I'll take this to the next step. The choice of actors for the characters featured in the first book called Twilight. Now, I'll have to admit that even though I'd never heard of a majority of these actors before, visually the actors are spot on match for what I wanted the characters to look like were I to ever see them in real life. Some of the acting could have used a little more work. However, some acting couldn't be helped because of the direction being given...on the other hand, some of the acting was just plain bad. You know who I'm talking about, don't you CinemaChick?

Are we talking about Kristen Stewart’s inability to show emotion, other than confused and possibly constipated?  For the love of Benji, she’s a teenager and all teen girls are emotional, especially when it comes to boys.  At least she matches Bella Swan perfectly: boring, emotionless, disconnected from reality…yeah, she’s a real winner.  I can see why all the boys are clamoring over her.  I have more personality in my left arm than she does.  Not to mention, she’s freaking creepy, going all obsessive over Edward Cullen after one little glance in the cafeteria.  Or do they bond over biology and cells?

Yes, yes, you hit the nail on the head. Bella Swan played by Kristen Stewart. Now, I'll admit that I had seen her "acting" in other roles and gave her a pass on some of them because there were moments that were ok enough to be passable. However, she has played the disassociated and outcast girl how many times now? By now she should be well enough versed on that type of role to manage a few extra facial expressions.

How about the fact that she can’t keep her mouth shut?  That every scene she in has her gaping at something or someone like a complete idiot?  And what’s up with her weird twitching?  Does she have a stutter?  Is she having a mild seizure?  I don’t understand who she is at all.  In fact, she is so uninteresting and off putting that I cannot even begin to understand her appeal.  What makes all those boys fall in love with her?  Damn near everyone is falling over themselves to be her friend.  NO ONE WANTS TO FRIEND THE NEW GIRL IN REAL LIFE!  It’s almost as if Stephanie Meyer wrote Bella Swan as this perfect, angelic girl with no flaws.  In fact, Stephanie Meyer has gone on record saying she based Bella Swan off herself.  I call narcissism!

True enough, let's move on to another character. Let's start at the head of the family. Doctor Carlisle Cullen. Now, he doesn't really get much face time in this movie. However, what I did see of him was promising. At least he had normal facial expressions and relaxed acting.

Carlisle Cullen is the paternal figure in the Cullen clan.  He’s played by Peter Facinelli, who I think did a great job.  The role of concerned parent can be hard, but he pulls it off.  Granted, I don’t think the wig and makeup are right for him because he looks washed out.  So, physically, I’m not impressed but in terms of someone managing to embody their character perfectly, I’d say he got it right.

Well, the majority of the Cullen's looked washed out but apparently that's a vampire to them. In any case, Peter Facinelli did a very good job playing the father figure. Now onto his partner and wide, Esme Cullen played by Elizabeth Reaser.

Esme does not get enough screen time.  She is such a minor role in the movies that it’s almost difficult to judge her character.  Esme is the maternal one, accepting Bella into the family immediately, not question Edward’s choice in the slightest.  She’s pretty much the perfect mother figure, but like I said, she’s stuck in the background. 

I would also have loved to see more of Esme. To really get to know her as a character. But Cinema Chick is right, she's just in the background to play a mom. We never really even get her thoughts on anything in the first movie. Really sad actually.

Hmm...who to do next. Ah, how about one of your faves CinemaChick?

You mean Emmet Cullen?

Yes, him. I know you liked him first and then bounced between him and Jacob Black.

*gets all giddy and giggly* Yes, yes, I do love Emmet Cullen.  He’s crass at times, cocky and just so freaking cute.  As much as I dislike the series, Kellan Lutz more than makes up for it.  He’s great eye candy and he captured the playful essence of who Emmet’s supposed to be.  Emmet is like an immortal kid.  He likes to have fun, he likes to rough house but he’s still serious and caring when he needs to be.  What more do you want in a man?

Yes, I like the way that Kellan Lutz brought Emmett Cullen to life. Granted, there wasn't much to work with in the book itself but Kellan showed that it doesn't matter. His personality and fun in every scene works beautifully.

Did I mention he’s gorgeous and funny?  *sigh*

Oh boy, do you need some alone time or are you ok to keep going? Hehe

Moving on to Jasper…let’s just cover the Cullen boys before going on to the Cullen woman.

And now we hit my high point. I personally think that Jasper Hale is a rather underrated character in the series. Most people even seem to ignore his presence till the third book. However, I am a HUGE fan of Jackson Rathbone as Jasper Hale. He hits the character straight out of the gate. A new vampire that's not sure of himself and having trouble dealing with feeding on animals instead of humans. Despite his lack of lines in this first movie, I was head over heels for that southern vampire.

I have to admit, even I, the critic with a heart of ice, love Jasper Hale.  He’s awkward, unsteady and possibly a threat to humans.  He has the face of a sweet “good ole boy” with the potential to kill you.  Jasper Hale is sexy and deadly.  I know he doesn’t have much of a presence in this film, but trust me, he gets his moment in Eclipse.  While I do find him cute, I also know that Kit Kat has called dibs on him.  Just like she knows Jacob Black is off limits to her.  We’ll get to the werewolves later.  For now, vampires.

Well, time to get to the last Cullen boy. Edward. The second part of the love triangle. He is played by Robert Pattinson. Now for those of you that don't know who this is next time you watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire take a peek at who is playing Cedric Diggory. That's right, Robert has gone from being a wizard to being a vampire in an awkward (and creepy) love triangle.

Oh dear…I told Kit Kat I’d be nice…but I don’t like Edward.  First of all, he’s just whiny.  He acts like he’s the most emo, emotional person in the world and has so many issues.  Honestly, go see a therapist if your desire to kill is that high.  And he’s also apathetic.  It’s almost impossible for him to be happy.  Let’s not forget that he’s a STALKER!  He sneaks into her room at night while she sleeps!  I could go on and on about why the Edward and Bella thing should be classified as abusive, but I’m trying so hard to be good…

Thanks for holding the majority in there CinemaChick but you're right. I'm voting with you on this one. Edward's motivation towards Bella is just so akward that it makes any real life relationship look like martial bliss. As I said, VISUALLY Robert Pattinson fits the bill of Edward Cullen. But the process of taking Edward Cullen from the book where he was ok to the movies did not translate well.

Before we go on to another topic, should we discuss the villains?  They aren’t Cullens, but they are vampires and since they play such a huge role in the first three movies, it only seems appropriate to mention them here as well.

Sure, let's get all the guys out of the way and work our way back through the girls and then on to the werewolves and humans.

In any case, I personally would love to begin with Cam Gigandet as the nomad vampire James. That boy is one hot evil vampire. And not just because he spends his first appearance on the movie shirtless.

Oh yes…he is a very, very good looking man.  James is a ruthless tracker who wants to kill Bella mostly to piss off Edward.  I’m most likely wrong, but that’s pretty much the impression I got from the movie.  He’s portrayed as a psychotic, angry vampire hell-bent on his goal.  When Bella runs, it becomes a game to him.  While he is the bad guy, he clearly has a lot of fun with being evil.  If you don’t believe me, look at the ballet studio scene.  James is taunting her, goading her into doing what he wants and has no remorse.

I completely agree. James loves being the vision of a vampire he has in his mind. He is the vampire for everyone who doesn't like the whole idea of the docile Cullens. He enjoys being an animal and views the human race as simply food. Cam was a wonderful fit for this role.

Brief explanation: The Cullens are “vegetarians”, meaning they don’t drink the blood of humans.  They only feed off animals.  James and his posse are clearly carnivores.  They kill humans without care.  Shall we finish off with Laurent?

Sure thing. Laurent is played by Edi Gathegi. He is a vampire who is pretending to be the leader of the nomad group that James is a part of while it is actually James who is the head of the group. Laurent always had this air about him that he was bored with James' actions from the start but goes along with it because that's what he knows. To me, Edi's acting as Laurent was one the closest anyone got to be completely true to their character.

I agree.  Edi played a seemingly good guy, but even when he talked, the audience could tell he wasn’t being sincere.  He managed a decent representation of the character.  It’s just a shame he, along with James, had to die so soon into the series.  And now, we move on to the females!

I think we need to move onto another hot topic to get the last of those out of the way...at least for the vampires. And I'm talking about Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria who  later was replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard. Now, I know there were some strict rules about what roles the actors could take on in their down time but really guys? Getting rid of the best version of Victoria right before she really gets her chance to shine. Can we say morons?

I won’t say that Bryce Dallas Howard was bad as Victoria, but Rachelle Lefevre just played it better.  Howard came off as doe eyed and innocent, almost unsure of the power she had.  Lefevre threw herself into the role and made it work.  We’ll get more in Victoria more when we discuss Eclipse.

Well, next let's head back through the Cullen family to discuss me favorite female in this movie. I speak of none other than Alice Cullen. Alice was just so much fun and cute but also dangerous. She was played by Ashley Greene.

And honestly, who doesn’t love Alice?  She’s cute, she’s fun sized, not to mention she has a killer sense of fashion.  Every time I saw her on screen, I thought of her as a pixie.  She always seems to be happy and upbeat, you know, except when she’s busy saving Bella’s life, which turns out to be a full time job after awhile.  Alice, like Edward and Jasper, has a special power.  Edward can read minds, Jasper is able to manipulate emotions and Alice can see the future.  It comes in handy a lot.  I wish we could have a movie dedicated to just her because she is so darn perky but not an annoying perky.  Now, let’s go on to everyone’s least favorite, Rosalie Cullen played by Nikki Reed.

She may be my least favorite vampire sometimes but she still has her moments. Nikki Reed had a similar task as Kristen Stewart. Nikki Reed had to play a vampire that didn't like her lot in life and wanted to change it anyway she could. She even hated Bella because she had the life that she wanted. To be able to have a family. In that aspect, Nikki Reed was a success. She played the vicious but beautiful blonde who really is more misunderstood than people realize.

As an actress, Nikki Reed has done very well.  She has actually written a screenplay which was adapted into a film.  While her emotional range isn’t huge, I’m ok with it.  She’s limited pretty much to jealous and anger, which she pulled off really well.  I prefer her as a brunette, but she can pull off the blonde wig without it looking horrible.  The only thing I hate about her?  Obvious!  She gets to play Kellan Lutz’s wife AND she’s a great writer.  So, go check out Thirteen if you ever get the chance and marvel at how good Nikki Reed is.

Looks like we are all done with the main vampires of Twilight time to move on to the next group that comes into play in a large way. The werewolves. Leading the charge is Jacob Black played by Taylor Lautner. Now, here is the final side of that weird love triangle I mentioned. Taylor gets to play Jacob who has known Bella since they were kids. However, he has a loathing for the Cullen family and considers them dangerous though it's not ever certain in the first movie whether he knows everything going on or if he knows and jokes around about it. In any case, Taylor plays the perfect foil to Robert's character.

I do love Taylor Lautner.  He’s a great actor and I do see him having a long career in the future.  His character isn’t fleshed out in Twilight but he plays a major role in New Moon, which by the way, I only saw because of the half naked, hot werewolves.  I was no disappointed.  However, there are a bunch of wolves to talk about and it’s now past 1 AM, so Kit Kat, do you want to just bring up the other ones during our discussion of New Moon instead of making this longer than it needs to be?

That works just fine for me since they play a much larger role in New Moon than anywhere else save for Eclipse. So, shall we skip on the last component of the humans?

I’m not happy with how the humans are portrayed.  They’re an afterthought.  It’s like the director said “Oh yeah, Bella’s not a vampire yet…uh…you five, act like her friend so we can make this high school look realistic.”  They’re in the movie less than Carlisle or Esme.  Not to mention, they all fawn over Bella even when she basically ignores them and blows them off constantly to do stupid things.  I feel sorry for them because they are neglected but still stick around like she gives a damn about them.

Yeah, I feel bad for the humans. I mean come on. Bella is a human first. And if it was really that easy to make friends as a new kid in town then I'd be a popular girl too. Nothing is realistic about the scenarios they throw together for the humans to do together. I don't even think there is a need for us to mention them individually really.

Exactly.  It’s so sad that these characters are condensed into the lump category of “human”.  They didn’t exactly play a huge role in the books either but still, give them some decency.  I can’t even tell you who’s who because they’re only briefly mentioned.  I’m sorry meaningless humans.  You have no value to Bella because she’s clearly better than you.  I’ll rip into her stupidity during New Moon.  Anything else to add Kit Kat?

Nope, that's pretty much it for now. I reserve the rest of my scathing comments for various aspects of the movies themselves.

And seeing how it’s 1:30 AM, I’m ready to call this quits.  Nothing more can be said until we touch on the individual movies.  I’m TheCinemaChick and I would much rather be Team Emmet over Team Edward any day of the week.

And I'm Kit Kat and it's time to go off and make my own Team Jasper shirt.

On behalf of my movie watching crew, I bid you a pleasant movie watching experience. 

A Real American Hero!

Hello everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick!  Today I saw Captain America which is a shock to me.  Don't get me wrong, I've been dying to see it but I seriously thought it wasn't coming out until next week.  But Fry and I enjoyed it.  I do send my apologies to Butterfly because he asked to see it right as the credits rolled.  Sorry buddy.

Captain America is the final stand alone film in a series of Marvel flicks.  We've had Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk and Thor so far, but this is all leading up to the much anticipated movie, The Avengers.  Sadly, The Avengers is not coming out until May 2012.  Needless to say, the comic book geek in my is DYING to see it and I hate that I have to wait for it.  At least I have things to tide me over until then, such as the next Sherlock Holmes, Dark Knight Rises, just to name a few.

As you know, I don't believe in spoilers, so I am keeping my lips sealed about the plot.  However, if you've seen Thor, you basically know what's going to happen here.  The similarities are obvious after some thought.  It is set in World War II and it's overall pretty awesome to watch.  The scenes were beautiful and it was very well cast.  I was hesitant when I heard Chris Evans would be playing the lead since Captain America does start off as a skinny wimpy kid.  It actually worked out pretty well.  What they did was take his face and digitally place it on another actor's body.  It's not noticeable, but I knew this beforehand so I found this little factoid interesting.  And get used to all the CGI because it's everywhere.  Sadly, computer animation is now a staple in cinema, so it's just unavoidable.

My main problem with Captain America is that it has very little action.  It's mostly exposition.  We get to see how he came to be, then how he made it into the modern times.  There are a few small sequences of drama, but then it's back to story.  I understand that this is all necessary because it's leading up to something bigger, but the audience didn't come to see this just to learn his backstory.  We want some good old fashioned ass kicking!

The other thing I already mentioned.  The plot is nearly identical to Thor, which is a huge disappointment.  It is back story followed by potential love interest that never pans out, one good fight scene and it's over.  I love Marvel and I support it fully, but I want something new.  Pull an M. night Shamalayan and throw in a huge twist that I don't see coming, but make if relevant to the film.  I want to see super heroes and villains.  I love seeing my favorite comic books translated into film, but if it's going to be as predictable as a romantic comedy, I'm not going to bother seeing them.

It is an enjoyable movie, don't get me wrong.  And if you plan to see The Avengers, you're going to have to see Captain America as well.  There are moments where I laughed and moments where I was hooked.  It had moments where it lagged and there were parts that made absolutely no sense to me.

Let's look at how I rate things.
See it
Matinee
Dollar theater
Rent it
Don't bother.

I'd say swing a matinee.  While it is good and I did overall enjoy it, the two things I mentioned earlier bothered me too much.  Maybe it's because I'm a critic or maybe I just expect too much from Hollywood these days, but I'm tired of generic movies.  And it's the middle of the summer movie season, so they really need to step up their game.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 has already set international records, so clearly nothing can compete with that right now.  Well...Breaking Dawn might come close because the teen and tween girls will flock to theaters to see the Bella and Edward wedding.  I'll see it for the sex scene.  I'm not a pervert, I just want to know how they'll include that and manage a PG or PG-13 rating.

Stay tuned for the "Obligatory Future Blog".

I'm TheCinemaChick and I see what's new and make sure it's worth seeing.  On behalf of my movie watching buddies, I bid you a pleasant theater experience.

Time for another Harry Potter blog!

Hello, I'm TheCinemaChick and I suffer for my art.  I kid you not guys, I seriously do suffer for all this.  Last night, Fry and I attended the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.  We did dress up in costumes, though I did not get any pictures because someone forgot to put batteries in her camera.  Thanks Fry.  On a good note, I did use my phone to get a few quick pics with some of the others.  One person dressed up as Fluffy, meaning he had on all black, painted his face and had two black dogs glued to each shoulder.  I went as Bellatrix Lestrange (sort of) while Fry was Hermione.  She didn't really get into character, so no one knew who she dressed as.

Here's where the suffering started.  I went to get my pass punched so I could get my ticket in and another Bellatrix flies by me and nearly knocks me over.  We got decent seats but they were still a little uncomfortable, so that sucked.  Later, I got knocked over by some punk while going to get something for Fry and twisted my knee.

So yes, I suffered, but I will still bring you my review.

Also, Butterfly meant to be with us, but sadly, he has hurt himself so he could not attend.  I promise him that I will see this film with him when he gets better.

First off, I seriously did try to keep an unbiased opinion on this, but it was hard to do.  I've been a fan since 1998, when I began reading the books, so this was a huge thing for me.  I was PSYCHED to watch it after so much anticipation. I knew what to expect, but I'd also read someone else's review and he'd hated it.  Feeling a little discouraged and overall nervous, I went in hoping it wouldn't disappoint.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is the first and probably only movie I will say that you should go see at full price and in 3D.  I will give it one of my highest ratings ever, giving it a 4.75 stars out of 5.

That's how much I loved it.

I do not believe in spoilers, so I won't go into detail, but I seriously loved it.  The effects were great, the action was intense and there wasn't a single moment where I didn't feel something.  I was excited, nervous, afraid and happy when everything came out happy.  There is a sense of satisfaction and conclusion that I really wanted.  They even have the epilogue at the end, sorry if that is seen as a spoiler.

I will say this though, I cried for a good solid 20 minutes.  Snape dies, a Weasley twin dies, lots of people die and it all happens so fast that you don't get time to recover from each thing.  And it's all filmed so well that you can't help but cry.  When Harry saw Snape's memories, I cried again because it was just so touching.  It's like an emotional punch in the chest.  Seriously, if you don't feel something during that, you have the heart of a rock.  Even Fry got a little choked up and she has gone on record saying Severus Snape isn't her favorite character.  I on the other hand, hoped the black mascara I had on wasn't running down my cheeks.  I did get a little teary eyed at the end when Neville makes a very heroic speech, but that was it.

I did have a few little problems, but they are so minor that I won't even mention them.  I enjoyed the movie, loved the atmosphere and had an awesome time overall.  While it is slightly depressing to see this series say its final farewell, I will be a fan for life.  Some time in the future, I will read it to my children in the hopes they do the same for theirs.

Oh, and Tom Felton's (Draco Malfoy) stunt double was at my midnight showing.  He's super nice and has a lovely accent.  I got a hug from him and a picture.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and I think Fry and Butterfly are planning on kidnapping me and forcing me to see Breaking Dawn.  Save me...

And go out and see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2!  You will not regret it and if you do, I will personally call you and apologize.

Back to Basics - The Harry Potter Series

Hello (again) and welcome to my Back to Basics series.  I'm TheCinemaChick, the one girl who's at every movie out there, then reports on them so you know what sucks out there.

...that seemed a little cheesy to me.

In light of the upcoming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows movie, I've decided to take a look at the series as a whole.  I will not go over the plot of each one because that would take hours, plus each one would need commentary and, I'd need Fry with me for that.

Time for a quick history lesson about TheCinemaChick and Fry!
We've known each other for a decade.  She introduced me to the Harry Potter movies, but I'd read the books.  I had actually read them back when I was in 8th or 9th grade, when a friend told me to read the description of a mandrake.  A few weeks later, my dad bought The Sorcerer's Stone for me, saying a bunch of people had been talking about and since I'm the literary person in my family, it was my job to read the book.  Needless to say, I fell in love with the novel and proceeded to read the series.
I've mentioned this before, but I do have some knowledge of films because I have taken courses on movies and adaptations, so those are my specialty.  I was hesitant to see the Harry Potter films because so many book to film projects go wrong.  I was appalled by Queen of the Damned, which is just sad since I loved the novel so much.  When Fry turned 16, she wanted to see the first Harry Potter movie for her birthday, so I relented and saw it.  Because it turned out to be a fairly faithful adaptation, I chose to see every movie in the series.

I do have fond memories of the series.  J.K. Rowling's novels brought Fry and I close, which created a long lasting friendship, so there's that.  We are friends for other reasons, but Harry Potter started it.  It also helped me get an A in my 10th grade English class.  I was in a sort of "special program" in high school, which is for people who had trouble learning (I'm terrible with math and science) so because of that, I was placed in a specific English class.  I had an awesome teacher who really encouraged me to read and not shy away from my literary brilliance.  She knew that I was destined to be an English major and a writer before I did.  So, thank you Mrs. Whiteside.

I am saddened to see the final movie because it is the last one, but I've also grown up with it.  I've been watching these movies since I was *age removed to protect my own age* and I know what's going to happen.  I know who dies and just so you know, I did cry when Sirius died.  I cried when Dumbledore died. I even cried when Snape died.  And NO, I am NOT spoiling the movie for anyone because if you've read the books, you know all this already.  And yes...I did cry when Dobby died in the movie.

Fry and I made it our tradition to attend every midnight showing and we did, with the exception of The Half Blood Prince because I had undergone some traumatic spine surgery and the crowd would have been bad for me.  Needless to say, I nearly got trampled at Deathly Hallows Part 1.  So, when the manager of a theater got a hold of me and asked me to write an article about their event, I jumped on it.  I told Fry about it, she joined in, then Butterfly came along.  We're our own little trio.

So while this is like the end of an era, it's also the beginning of a new fandom.  Future generations will read the books and see the movies.  I'm sad to see it go, but I'm also happy that it's going to have such a huge impact on pop culture.  And now all I'll have to look forward to is the end of Twilight...which I plan dedicating a blog to later and explaining why I dislike it.

Well, that's all I feel like saying for now.  I will post a blog for every night of the event because...well, why not?  This will either make me or break me as a "real" critic.  On behalf of my entire crew, Harry Potter fans everywhere and influential high school English teachers like Mrs. Whiteside, I heop you all enjoy Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

How Many Times Will I Say Tom Hanks in a Single Blog?

Hello everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick and I inhabit movie theaters.  If you see me, I'm probably staring at you as you pass by me...not really.

Yesterday, Butterfly and I saw the new Tom Hanks movie, Larry Crowne.  I'm going to say that name a lot, so let's make a tally of how many times I mention Tom Hanks in this blog alone.  Including the title, we're up to four.  If you're wondering why I'll be saying his name so much, it's because this man seemed to do everything.  Let me prove it.
Director: Tom Hanks
Writer: Tom Hanks and Nia Vardalos (more on that later)
Lead actor: Tom Hanks
Producer: Tom Hanks

Have I proven my point yet?  If not, I don't care.  I know what I'm doing so we're moving on.  I was excited to see this and I had high hopes for it.  What I didn't expect was for it to be a bit of a flop, but this cannot compare with Micheal Bay's explosion-fest.  Larry Crowne is actually incredible.  I think people of all ages, mostly college age and older will appreciate it.  It has things that Butterfly and I could laugh at and something for the older folks in the crowd to enjoy.  While the movie turned out to be a romantic comedy, it was one I could actually enjoy.  The love interest is Julia Roberts.  She reminded me of "Bad Teacher", but if that movie had turned out more like this horrible professor character, I would have actually liked it.

I seriously loved this film.  I could laugh, get emotionally involved and I was excited when things went right for them.  It does deal with a lot of things the average person could relate to, such as losing a job, unemployment and returning to college at an older age.  I'm not a fan of Tom Hanks normally, but I could learn to love him after seeing this film.  I even liked Julia Roberts, who I'm also not a major fan of because lets face it, she is Queen of the romantic comedies.  Try as they might, no one will ever measure up to her.

I know we're deep in the summer movie season, but Larry Crowne is one worth checking out.  I also know this movie won't climb higher in the ratings because July 15 is an important day.  The final installment of the Harry Potter series is coming out so billions of people are going to flock to the theater to see it.  I'm going to a week long event at a theater a few miles out of my way and plan to cosplay on Thursday for the midnight showing.  I convinced Butterfly and Fry to dress up with me, so this is going to be interesting.  I will be Bellatrix Lestrange, Fry will be Hermione (by the way, in case you didn't know, Fry is a girl) and Butterfly will be Sirius Black.  I know, the irony of that, but I will not kill Butterfly.  He is still of use to me.

I do plan to blog about every night and if I can swing it, I plan to get a camera and start vlogging soon.  I have a plan, you see.  Oh and to make it an even ten, Tom Hanks.  I'm pretty into this site of reviewers and I'm hoping to join them soon as a new release movie reviewer.  The thing is, they are vloggers and I am a mere blogger.  I'm hoping in two years to be a part of the site, but alas, I have other things going on.  I don't discuss my personal matters because honestly, I do not believe in asking for help.  Tom Hanks didn't in Larry Crowne, he worked out his own problems and so shall I.

I'm excited about Harry Potter week.  I'm excited to have things go my way for a change, I hope.

Stay tuned for the "Obligatory Future Blog", where I discuss upcoming projects, possible additions to my crew, possible deletions from the crew and things I have in mind for later.  One of them is to become a vlogger, as you've noted.  Maybe Tom Hanks will read my blog.

Well, I'm TheCinemaChick and if you've been counting, I said Tom Hanks 13 times in this blog.

I want my two and a half hours back, Micheal Bay!

Hello everyone, I'm TheCinemaChick and I go to all the new releases so you can see if it's worth the money.  Earlier today, I, along with Fry and Butterfly, checked out Transformers: Dark of the Moon.  While my title seems like I severely hated it, I actually have mixed feelings.

Yes, it is another blockbuster, explosion packed alien fest made by Micheal Bay, but that's really all it is.  The plot is the same as the other movies "Decpticons are trying to take over Earth, we need Sam Witwicky and the Autobots to save us all!"  So of course, there's one strike.
Second, it didn't do anything for me.  I went in to this incredibly excited, despite the fact that Revenge of the Fallen was so horrible.  I found it hard to believe and of course the explicit shot of the new love interest's ass didn't persuade me to enjoy it anymore.  There are also plot holes everywhere and almost nothing is explained.  Like, why did no one mention the Sentinel Prime before?  Did the Transformer's have a collective memory loss?
Third, congratulations, Micheal Bay, you managed to find a worse actress than Megan Fox.  Rose Huntington-Whiteley is supposed to play the British Carly, but she can't keep an accent.  She switches between English and her native Australian constantly and we're not supposed to notice.  Plus, no one has lips like that unless they are fake.  She has so much in common with Megan Fox that I'm not surprised she was the replacement.  Also, way to go Megan Fox, you managed to do some major damage to your career by bad mouthing the director.
Fourth, what the hell?  I understand that Skids and Mudflap NEEDED to be removed because many people saw them as a negative racial stereotype, but did we have to add in a ton of other Transformers?  There are countless new Decepticons, which include a giant worm-snake thing and a freaking bird!  A FREAKING BIRD!  Maybe I missed it, but I never caught their names, so I have no clue who they are.  There are also three new Autobots and I don't know who they are.  One is some red thing with swords on his arms, who reminded me of Scizor from Pokemon.  There was also a green Irish (Fry swears he's Scottish) and a red British Autobot.  There's also Albert Einstein-bot and his mini-me.

Now, despite all that I just said, I enjoyed the movie.  I'm not a die hard Transformers fan.  I'm just a fair weather fan.  I didn't care for the first film because many parts of it were dark and I had trouble seeing a lot of it.  The second one I liked better because visually, it was brighter making it easier for me.  This was was also bright enough that I didn't miss much action.
I also have to point out the subtle humor of how the movie dealt with the departure of Mikaela.  They don't elaborate on it, merely saying that she dumped Sam.  However, this doesn't explain why Sam has her dog and Wheelie, the mini Decepticon turned Autobot.  They even say at one point that Mikaela had made some cruel, hurtful things which is no doubt a jab at Megan Fox for her harsh words about Micheal Bay last year.
Good job on that.
 While I don't want to see it again and I have no desire to watch it in 3D, I'd still say swing a matinee.  If you've seen the first two Transformers movies, you'll go see this one.

It is the Fourth of July weekend, so be safe and be careful.  Theaters will be crowded and families will enjoy firework displays.

On behalf of my lovely crew who sticks with me through every zany idea (Kit Kat, Fry, Butterfly, Just Joe and Kitsy), I'm TheCinemaChick and I wish you all a very happy Independence Day, as well as a pleasant movie theater experience.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Mom.