Into The Woods

                Hello everyone and welcome to the end of 2014!  I bet you are just dying to see which movies I actually loved, but that’s going to be announced tomorrow!  Yes, I am actually capable of liking something which might seem off.  I know, I know, most of the time I’m a really negative critic but I’m not completely stone hearted.  So, one last review before we head off into the brand new year!

                Let’s talk about “Into The Woods”.

                First off, this is one of those films I actually really enjoyed.  It wasn’t perfect by any means since I did get bored a few times but the acting was spot on.  I have to say, I think Chris Pine was the stand out character for me.  He’s part is smaller than most of the others, but when he’s on screen, he just steals the scene.  There is one point where he has a duet and it’s both amazing and comical.  If you've seen the movie now, you know what I’m talking about.  The melodrama in the one song is so cheesy that you can’t help but laugh.

                Now, I saw this with Fry and my Other Mother.  Yes, on occasion, Other Mother joins us because she is totally awesome.  She also has excellent taste in books.  We were all impressed with the casting because all of the actors could sing.  Some of them weren't exactly great (Chris Pine, even though he gets an A for effort, is not the best singer) while others genuinely surprised me.  I knew Anna Kendrick could sing since I've seen “Pitch Perfect” but in this…where has she been hiding this voice?  She’s absolutely amazing!  This woman has more range than I thought and if she dabbled in music, I’d buy her album.

                Same thing goes for Meryl Streep.  Bravo, madam, bravo.  I was a fair weather fan of hers before this and now, I’m totally Team Meryl.  She gave us an outstanding performance as the witch and I would absolutely see this movie again, buy the soundtrack and own this movie on DVD.  I’m not saying this because I adore this musical that much but I would love to see the behind the scenes action.  It would be even better to see the rehearsals.  I would also like to see the stage version of this because I’ve heard it’s also quite good.  However, I’ve also heard it’s quite…adult.

                No matter what, it’s definitely with the price of a ticket.  It’s thoroughly enjoyable and there are some really good moments of humor mixed in.  I’ll admit, there are some things that left me a little confused but when I look at the film as a whole, I can overlook them.  Obviously the music is the main attraction and for me, that’s a perk.  A lot of the time, the music can be an issue since some actors try to sing but can’t.  In this case, everyone did really well.  It’s a crazy ride but it’s worth it.

                The songs fit every mood and my favorite ones by far are “On The Steps of the Palace” and “Hello, Little Girl”.  Both songs have been stuck in my head since leaving the theater.  And honestly, I knew Johnny Depp could sing but his performance in “Into The Woods” was incredible.  He oozed a strange raw passion, which is actually kind of creepy when you see what his part of the story is.  I was highly uncomfortable while watching it.  Not exactly a spoiler alert, but if you know the story of Little red Riding Hood, you know what happens to the Big Bad Wolf.

                Oh! I cannot write a review about this and ignore the true breakout star, Lilla Crawford.  I looked her up and I do believe she has done some work on Broadway.  This girl is about 13 or 14 but her talent is mind blowing.  I am envious of this chick’s voice.  She has a powerful, steady voice and she could easily beat the rest of the cast in the talent department.  I really, really liked her and I think she will do great things in the future.  If she’s not on film, I think her Broadway career is sealed.  Seriously, she can do anything with her talent.

                I will admit, there are a lot of things wrong with this film.  There are characters brought in with no introduction, some plot lines are just abandoned without explanation and some back stories don’t seem to add up.  I still can’t hate it though.  It was a great fantasy romp through fairy tales and the music is rather catchy.  Even though it won’t be my favorite film of the year, but I would really encourage everyone to see this at least one because it is worth seeing. 

                There is some dark humor and moments that could be scary so I don’t recommend this one for the kiddies.  Leave them at home for this.  The witch and the wolf might frighten them because the wolf made me uncomfortable.  Again, when you see it, you’ll understand why.  The plot might be stupid and the continuity might be off but it’s just a good, fun movie that’ll take your mind off things for a while.  I really hated the final act because it felt so forced and tacked on.

                The previews do show a boy chopping down a beanstalk, which is important to the story and that’s also why I don’t like the ending.  It could have ended sooner and left out that final part and I would have been fine with it.  And the absolute ending didn't leave me wholly satisfied either.  Normally, I’m not a fan of epilogues, but I wanted that final resolution here.

                Overall, I’d say matinee.  I didn't hate this movie but I’m not absolutely gushing over it either.  I did enjoy it, I do want the soundtrack and eventually the movie itself because I do believe I will want to watch this over and over.  Having seen it, I can also see why Meryl Streep was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance.  I seriously cannot say enough about her in the movie.  She was amazing and commands attention when she’s on screen.  True, she’s done another musical before but let’s be honest here.  “Mamma Mia” was not the best place to showcase her talents.  The music wasn't as good as it was in “Into The Woods”.

                Well, this is going to be a short one since I still have my “Top 14 of 14” to write.  I recommend “Into The Woods” as a great fantasy movie with some outstanding music in it. 

                I’m TheCinemaChick and I’m a little teapot.

2014: Worst of the Worst

Did you miss me?

Hello everyone, I’m the girl who really shouldn’t be so absent on her own movie blog, TheCinemaChick and I’m finally ready for my annual list of Best and Worst.  Have you been wondering where I’ve been?  I’ve been gone for a while now.

Disappointment.

I have not seen any decent films in so long that I began to think 2014 had nothing left to offer, so I just gave up.  Why write about consistently terrible films that were a waste of time and money?  I hated everything but I didn’t want to just write about how much a movie sucked.  I needed something positive, something refreshing to write about.  Seriously, I did not find something decent until about two weeks ago when I saw “Big Hero 6”.  I have not reviewed that and I do sincerely apologize for that.  For the past two weeks I have been sleeping about 18 hours a day due to a very severe cold that left me feeling really out of it.  I still have a touch of it, but I no longer need so much sleep or medication.

So, in short, hello sweetie.

Now…are you ready for the fourteen worst films of the year (in my opinion)?

And I know what you’re thinking, “Fourteen?  Did she really manage to come up with that many films that she hated?”

Yes.  Believe it or not, there are actually more than that but since its 2014, I decided not to exceed fourteen.  In all fairness, I do have a list of the best of the year coming next week.  Why next week you ask?  Because I’ve added a film the to the “best of” list and I have yet to see it.  Like most nerds out there, I’m am internally fangirling over the upcoming “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies”.  Since I have enjoyed all of them so far, I already put it on my list.  I do plan to see it as soon as it comes out, so it’ll only be about a week between lists.

Also, speaking of list, I have decided to do a theater review as well.  There are a couple of theaters I tend to lurk in, so I want to do a rating system for them.  While I do seem to haunt only one recently, it’s not my favorite.  I don’t even know if theaters even care about what bloggers like me have to say about them, but I’d like to let them know they are doing a good/bad job.  Trust me, I have been to the absolutely worst.  At one theater, I slipped in butter in front of the snack counter and all I got was a “We’re sorry”.  Don’t say you’re sorry, clean it up and put out a “Wet Floor” sign!

And I’m off track.  You know I tend to do that.  I actually paused for about five minutes because I saw what I thought would be the perfect gift for DigitalDad.  That’s three people taken care of, like ten more to go.

But now, on to the worst movies of the year, in no particular order!

1.       Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

I honestly don’t know why I keep going to this franchise.  Part of me wants to know how it’s all connected and see how it ends.  I know it’s going to be awful.  This one wasn’t just bad, it was borderline offensive.  There were some Mexican stereotypes mixed in there that just didn’t sit well with me.  The characters were incredibly stupid and Fry and I were yelling at the screen the whole time.  We were also the only ones in the theater, so we could.  I hated it, except for the ending, where it tied everything back to the first film.  Definitely wasn’t the best movie to choose for my birthday.

2.       Pompeii

This one was so awful, I actually had forgotten that I had seen it.  It was forgettable.  The acting was bad, the plot was paper thin and then it just such a weird turn that it didn’t even make sense.  I could not believe the chemistry between the two main characters because it felt so forced.  Then again, she supposedly fell in love with him when he killed a horse out of mercy.  I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you woo a girl in ancient Greece.  On the bright side, Kit Harington was pretty to look at.

3.       The Muppets Most Wanted

I wanted to like this one, I really did.  I love The Muppets.  They’ve been a part of my life since I was a kid, so when they came back, I was elated.  This film however, it just felt like it was insulting my intelligence.  Everything was so obvious, the comedy wasn’t even that great and the songs disappointed me, except for one.  The cameos weren’t as good in this one either.  I admit, I was really looking forward to seeing Tom Hiddleston in there, but he was on screen for about a minute total.  Josh Groban also had a part in there and to this day, I want to know what made him the most dangerous criminal in that prison.  Why, of all people, was he the one in solitary confinement?  Overall, just meh.

4.       Divergent

First off, this was not marketed to my age group.  This was obviously made for teen girls.  There was a lot of pretty boys to look at and the ever present strong female lead.  I get that we want more positive role models out there for young girls, but I don’t think Tris is the one.  She’s pathetic until the eleventh hour when she has to step up and do something.  The romance between her and Four is over emphasized.  I actually read the book before seeing the movie and the book was decent.  However, when they really poured the relationship aspect on heavily, I couldn’t take it seriously.  Plus, come on…the post-apocalyptic world, corrupt leaders, young people rebelling, strong teen female leader…we get it.  Move on.

The sequel, “Insurgent” comes out in 2015.

5.       Oculus

Someone explain this one to me.  I was so bored then it would be a flashback, then present time, then back in the past.  It never explained what the mirror did or how the mirror was demonic.  Nothing was explained, so I couldn’t follow the story.  Props to Karen Gillan on her first post “Doctor Who” film but it bombed.  Thankfully, this lovely actress will pop up again on my “best of” list.

6.       Transformers: Age of Extinction

Once again, not sure why I thought this would be good.  It dragged on for so long and I wanted those freaking Dinobots to show up and they never did!  They didn’t show up until the last half hour and at that point, I didn’t care anymore.  This was another “Michael Bay presents a Michael Bay film with all the Michael Bay explosions that Michael Bay likes in all his movies because Michael Bay” thing.  Is there an upside?  Uh…well, apparently you can smack around a Dinobot and it’ll obey like a well-trained dog.

7.       Jersey Boys

I didn’t hate this one.  I actually liked it.  However, I can’t get past how much cursing there was in this film.  That’s what got to me.  The music and story were good but geez, do you really need THAT much language?  I could understand it if it were and R rated action flick, but a musical biography?  It was just unnecessary.

8.       The Purge: Anarchy

The first movie was good.  The Polite Leader was super creepy with his smile.  The sequel didn’t go as well.  There were no likeable characters and they tried to do too much in the time they had.  The intertwining stories just didn’t work.  And then it just jerks you into a completely different scenario which made even less sense.  No one had any redeeming qualities.  After the movie, Butterfly and I were talking and we agreed that this would make an awesome MMORPG, an online roleplaying game.  I would play a survival game based on this movie but I would not recommend the movie itself.

9.       Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I grew up with the live action movies and this one was a disappointment.  It did nothing for me and I didn’t find it fun.  Megan Fox added a very flat performance and the plot didn’t even resolve itself at the end.  Too many threads were left open so it just left me feeling underwhelmed.  Let’s see…a positive…uh…Michael Bay was involved and he didn’t royally screw this one up.

10.   Into The Storm

Oh Richard Armitage…you can do so much better than this.  This was a lackluster, uninspired movie about a mega storm.  I was bored out of my mind for the duration of it and couldn’t have cared less if anyone lived.  It needed sharks with their tornados.

11.   Let’s Be Cops

What movie are you trying to be?  Are you a buddy cop movie?  A stoner flick?  An undercover spy film?  Seriously, what are you?  Pick a genre or two and stick to that because otherwise you get a confused jumble of a movie.  I hated it and wish I’d never seen it.  Skip this one entirely and go rent “Police Academy”.

12.   As Above So Below

Can we just all agree that the found footage movement should just die out?  It’s just another weird paranormal movie taking place in the catacombs of France.  There were elements that I like, showing the tombs below the streets and building the tension.  However, it also opened possible side stories that showed up and almost immediately vanished.  It never really explained why the characters were killed off and I don’t really understand how going that deep into the catacombs led them back to the streets of Paris.  Honestly, I could have been cool with the ending if they had hinted that the survivors had somehow ended up in an alternate universe.  Like, it was Paris, just an evil version or a backwards version.  Instead, they just ended up in the normal world and it ended.  More or less, just disappointing and uninteresting.  It had potential to be better.

13.   Annabelle

And here we have the spinoff from the popular movie “The Conjuring”.  It had moments where the tension almost had me going but it became highly predictable.  Fry and I were literally sitting in our seats saying what would happen next.  We lost interest in it entirely.  I would like to see the cult they mentioned in the beginning and how it led to the one girl wanting the Annabelle doll.  To be honest, haunted or not, that doll is freaky looking.  Fun fact, I got to touch the actual doll when it was at Fan Days this past October.  As far as the movie goes, I want to know why the doll is haunted, what is haunting it, why is chose the doll and what it has to do with the cult.  Beyond that, blah.  Just plain blah.

14.   Ouija

This movie was seriously horror movie cliché central.  It was like a checklist of tropes.  Group of teen friends playing with cursed object with one friend feeling apprehensive, check.  Methodical death by slowly picking off teens one by one, check.  Best friend trying to save everyone, check.  Wise older woman, usually of some kind of ethnic background, check.

I couldn’t stand this one.  It went in one direction then decided “Eh, let’s do something else and see if this makes people jump.”  It didn’t really do anything for me.  Defeating the curse just seemed too easy and the twist was obvious.

Also, why is the wise woman always of some ethnic origin?  In “Annabelle”, the wise older woman was African American.  In “Ouija”, she’s the Mexican grandmother. 

Is it so hard to find a fresh, interesting take on a horror movie?  I would love something that’s not predicable or filled with the same old clichés.  Give me something new and exciting.  Is that so much to ask?

I hope 2015 has something better to offer.  Actually, I know it will.  We’ve got new “Avengers” to look forward to, along with “Pitch Perfect”, “Mad Max” and so much more.  As for 2014, this was a year of mediocrity and failures.  The ones that did succeed were phenomenal but the ones that bombed, well, they bombed hard.

I’m TheCinemaChick and right now, I’m under my invisibility cloak.

Better Late Than Never: Guardians of the Galaxy

                Hello everyone, I go by TheCinemaChick and I love movies.  That’s why they call me a cinephile.  I don’t know who they are but they all agree.  Once again, it seems I have been absent but let me explain why.  I went up to spend some time in Nashville again, to see Kit Kat.  When I got back, I wasn’t feeling the best so I’ve been getting over a cold.  And of course, general every day things kept piling up, next thing I know it’s time to pay rent and then I just get frustrated.  And as if that’s not bad enough, my personal life has taken a bizarre twist.  We won’t get into that because that’s not the kind of blog I run.

                You’re wondering what movie I have to share with you!  I have so many, backing all the way to “Guardians of the Galaxy” and going all the way up to “Gone Girl”.  I was hesitant to review “Guardians” when it first came out because I knew everyone would be jumping on it and praising it.  While I enjoy it immensely, it’s still not my favorite Marvel film.  I mean, I will give it some credit, for what it did in one film, it was magical.  I mean for “The Avengers” we already had separate movies for the main characters so we knew them and had come to love them.  This time around, we knew nothing, unless you read the comics beforehand.  We were given brand new people and were expected to love them.

                And I’ll admit, that’s something I didn’t like.  I like knowing more about the characters I’m supposed to end up rooting for.  In the case of Groot…well, I’ll take him as is.  But for me, the movie ran just a little too long to the point where I was getting bored, some of the humor was incredibly crude and there were a lot of questions left unanswered.  Before you say anything, I’m fully aware that there will be a sequel.  There are rumors of an Avengers/Guardians crossover in the future.  While I’m not sure how I feel about it, I would like to see someone like Drax interact with Tony Stark.

                Well, since I’m already prattling about it, how about we just stick with the topic?  Why not discuss “Guardians of the Galaxy” now?  We’ve all seen it and if you haven’t, why haven’t you?  It’s a fun ride with childish humor.  The casting was top choice.  I didn’t know who Chris Pratt was before this movie.  I know now he was on a television show but I’d never seen his acting.  Whoever chose him for the part of Peter Quill deserves a cookie.  Seriously, he captured the role perfectly.  Pratt made the serious moments work but also played up the comedic moments.  What made it even better for me was knowing that he basically had no idea what he was doing as Quill.  Let’s take my favorite scene as an example.

                Everyone remember the scene with The Collector?  When asked for the orb, Peter proceeds to drop it.  He also admits “A little pee just came out of me” when the orbs are fully explained.  Who wouldn’t be terrified of that kind of power?  To me, that’s how a normal person would react.  In “The Avengers” they were used to having villains that when a mystical cube comes into play, they don’t seem worried much.  They just go into superhero mode and get things done.  The “Guardians” don’t know how to save the world or how to hide the infinity stone.  They do what they can to gather an army at the last minute to help them.  They lose people and they mourn.  Let’s look at Groot’s sacrifice.  Who can watch that and not immediately fall in love with a tree?

                However, I didn’t believe the Quill and Gamora love story.  They didn’t have any chemistry, at least not enough to make me think they’d get together in the future.  The best relationship, in my eyes, is the one between Rocket the raccoon and Drax.  They started off clashing, Drax even admitting that his people eat them on his planet.  At the end, when Rocket’s crying over Groot, who’s there to let him whimper and pet him?  Drax.  To me, they had the most growth throughout the story.  Gamora was always this angsty alien, Quill never truly grew up and Groot…he’s Groot.

                By the way, did you know that big blue monster in the prison who “flirts” with Peter is voiced by Nathan Fillion?  Did you know that Rob Zombie has a speaking role but does not appear? 

                What really sold me on “Guardians of the Galaxy” was Nebula, Ronan and Yondu, played by Karen Gillan, Lee Pace and Michael Rooker respectively.  For those of you who remember, I was not kind to Gillan at all when her movie “Oculus” came out.  I admit, I was harsh on her.  In all honesty, I have nothing against her.  I think she’s great and she’s a very nice woman.  She’s earned a place on my wall of fame, which is where I hang all my autographs and celebrity photos.  I must admit, I really liked her as Nebula.  The makeup and costume were incredible but her acting was better.  She really did come off as the psychotic murder happy cyborg she was supposed to be.  Props to her.  I want to see more of her in the sequel, which I’m sure will happen.

                Lee Pace was a surprise for me.  Even though I’d paid attention during the credits, I did not realize he played Ronan the Accuser.  Fry pointed it out to me.  He is unrecognizable.  Before this, I’d seen him in “The Desolation of Smaug” as well as “Breaking Dawn Part 2” as Garret.  In both roles, he looks very different.  In these roles, he was somewhat docile, always appeared calm, even when he clearly wasn’t.  As Ronan, he radiated anger and hatred.  When he had the Infinity Stone, he looked like absolute power.  My only complaint is how he died.  A dance contest?  That’s what distracted you?  Ronan, you have the purple gem, just kill them and go on.  It brought what should have been a very dramatic climax to a screeching halt, only to pick it back up for another highly dramatic moment.

                I liked Yondu as well.  A lot of people have said they didn’t like Rooker playing the part but I liked him.  I’ll admit, I couldn’t separate him from Merle Dixon from “The Walking Dead”.  I just had trouble with that one little thing.  As a character, I really liked Yondu.  He made me laugh and even though at times I hated him, I ended up rooting for him.  And his arrow?  How awesome is that thing?  I wish I had that.  While I don’t see him as an antagonist, I guess he’d be the anti-hero.  We can only see what the future holds in store for him since he was supposed to take Quill back to his father.

                And who is Peter Quill’s father?

                Well, if you aren’t an avid reader of the comics, I guess you’ll have to wait for the sequel.

                I’m TheCinemaChick and I am Groot…no I’m not.

                ***As with every review, this is for entertainment only.  All opinions expressed are mine.  I mean no copyright infringement.***

Only Lovers In Your Eyes

 Hey everyone, I'm the girl who spends way too much time watching movies, but you can call me TheCinemaChick! I've been looking back at some indie films I've seen this year and I've decided that I'm going to spend some time visiting them. So get ready for two tales of love, mystery and separation. With that said, let's look at Joss Whedon's film “In Your Eyes” and Jim Jarmusch's “Only Lovers Left Alive”.

Now, you guys know me well enough to know that I can't stand chick flicks. I loathe romance movies. Give me a good horror film any day. However, I kept hearing things about both of these films so my curiosity was sparked. The first one I mentioned is available to watch online through Vimeo. I believe I paid to rent it on there. However, I would pay to watch it again or even own it. Yes, it's a story about two people falling in love but its done in such a new way that I found myself enjoying it. Our story centers around Becky (Zoe Kazan) and Dylan (Michael Stahl-David), who live on opposite sides of the country. They've never met but they share a mental link making it possible for them to speak to each other and see what the other is seeing. They grow up not realizing what's going on until Becky is married and Dylan is a convict.

Through a long series of events, they fall in love. Bear in mind they have never seen each other. One day, they both agree to step in front of mirrors and in that moment, they both know it. They're meant to be. However, he's on parole and stuck where he is and she's just trapped in a seemingly loveless marriage. Philip Porter (Mark Feuerstein) is such a jerk! It turns out he uses his wife as some kind of psychiatric experiment. He even has her placed in a mental hospital against her will because he believes she's insane. Dylan, sensing something is wrong, violates his probation and flies to her, steals a car, helps her escape and they finally meet each other in the final moments.

I know, I just skipped over a good chunk of the film, but I really think this one's worth seeing. Yes, it's another fairly typical love story, but it's presented in a new light. I liked the idea that Becky and Dylan fell in love with each other, not their looks. In all honesty, that's one thing I have come to hate about movies like this in mainstream media. The most attractive men and women end up with partners and getting a happy ending. If you are average of ugly, well, sucks to be you. In this case, they got to know each other before seeing each other, so the love was stronger in my opinion.

While I do wish Becky hadn't been such a wimpy character, I can see why Joss Whedon wrote her that way. I say wimpy, but that's not the best description. I'd say she's awkward, unsure of herself and she wants to find happiness. She knows it's not with Philip because he keeps distancing himself from her. The more she talks to Dylan, the happier she is. When she escapes the mental hospital, I was so happy when she got her revenge on him. You go, Becky!

I'm glad they ended up together. I wanted to see Dylan leave his shady past behind and I wanted Becky to stand on her own two feet. They are a somewhat mismatched pair but they're so adorable together. It kind of renewed my hope in the romance genre, but only slightly. I won't be that shocked when I see another romantic comedy with actors like Cameron Diaz, Channing Tatum, Rachel McAdams or even Jennifer Lawrence start popping up again. Once, just once, can we have a realistic romance movie? Seriously, every romantic comedy follows a formula. I can predict the movie based on the type of love interest. They're boring and could use a major overhaul. I guess I can see why people enjoy them though. It's nice to see two people happy together and live vicariously through that.

But again, things don't happen like that in real life. It's always boy meets girl, they fall in love, something tears them apart and they unite and declared their undying love for each other. Actually, this is also the plot of just about every Disney movie ever made. I know, I know, there are some exceptions, like “Brave” and “Frozen”. “Maleficent” taught us that men are bad and you should never trust them because they will hurt you. Okay, “Frozen” also did that, but to a lesser extent. You get my point! Love in the movies is not at all like love in real life.

Love in real life is weird and painful and confusing but when it's real, it's the best feeling ever. I know this because I was once in love but that ended...badly...oddly enough, he ended up with a former friend of mine. I was upset at first, but now I'm just laughing at both of them. He went from me, college educated, twice published, to a high school dropout.

Sorry, not sorry.

But the thing is, we won't end up together. We won't have some magical reunion where we realize we were meant to be. I'm okay with this. Plus, we all know I can do better.

You see my point though. I didn't meet, fall in love, break up and reunite. In the movies, its like they meet one man and that's the one they'll marry. It doesn't make sense to me. That kills the fantasy for me. I know, we go to movies to be entertained and to get away from the real world. If I'm going to see a romance movie, I want there to be a realistic edge to it. I don't want this same old story that'll never happen.

You know what? Go rent “Love Actually” or “Valentine's Day”. I know there's multiple plots in each one, but it's the most realistic you'll get. People make up, they break up and some people realize they picked the wrong person. Things to end on this perfectly happy note. There is a fair amount of uncertainty to it, which I loved. From someone who despises the whole genre, those would be the only two I'd highly recommend.

Well, I've gotten a bit off topic.

The second film is “Only Lovers Left Alive” and I will admit, I wanted to see this because of Tom Hiddleston. Can you blame me though? He's got such a wide range of skills! He's one of the most popular comic book villains, he's been F. Scott Fitzgerald, a soldier with PTSD, a captain in World War I and soon he'll be Hank Williams. Then there's Tilda Swinton, who is just...I cannot praise this woman enough. She's androgynous, she's vaguely alien in features, she's so soft spoken...seriously, can we be friends? I have the utmost respect for this woman. Tilda Swinton, you are one of my top favorite people in film.

Now, this is also a darker film. It is about a pair of vampires named Adam and Eve. Adam is the dark, brooding reclusive musician while Eve is the bright, extroverted traveler. They are polar opposites but they are deeply in love. They live separate lives but Eve decides to visit Adam and that's when things seem to get twisted. It's harder to find blood so it has to be purchased from the hospital.

Also, if you one of those “Oh my gosh, Tom Hiddleston is so hot!” girls, there are some nude scenes in there. Yeah, he gets naked. So does she. Then he eats a popsicle. It's very creepy yet sensual. I think it's because of the context.

Once together, they just work perfectly. They balance each other out so well. This is the kind of love you should want, not that stupid Edward/Bella crap. Anton Yelchin has a small part as Ian, who is the person who goes and runs all over Adam's errands. Then we have Mia Wasikowska as Ava, a younger vampire who has trouble controlling her thirst. It's because of her one of my favorite lines happens. She actually ends up killing Ian for his blood. Adam looks at her, then at him and says, “Well, you ate Ian.” He is so bland and monotone in the delivery that I just couldn't help but laugh at him.

“Only Lovers Left Alive” is not a fast paced movie. It does move slowly, there are parts that feel a bit too long but overall, it just felt intimate. I don't mean intimate in the sexual sense but in the sense that you've joined this journey of two people. Most of the scenes are tight, focusing on the couple and they play up the colors perfectly. Eve always looks stylish in something white and form fitting while Adam's clothes are usually darker and in less than perfect condition. John Hurt also has a small role in the film, as Christopher Marlowe, yes that Christopher Marlowe. The choice to barely focus on the secondary characters was a good one, in my opinion.

I highly recommend both of these movies if you just want a night in, by yourself or with a partner. They're quiet but artistically done. And remember, I hate romance movies but I loved these. “In Your Eyes” is available on Vimeo. “Only Lovers Left Alive” should be available on DVD and Blu-Ray soon. Actually, it comes out this Friday, September 12. I just checked Amazon so I can confirm this.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I'm single, ready to mingle but for now, I'm going to bed.

**No copyright infringement intended. This blog is just an opinion and done solely for entertainment, not to steal material**

The Purge Anarchy

 What's up everyone, you can call me TheCinemaChick and I'm that girl you all know and fear! Okay, so maybe fear is the wrong word. I'm really not that scary. In fact, I'm actually quite pleasant and sometimes, I'm even funny. I do enjoy a good pun. I suppose you could say I'm rather punny. Don't shoot me for my poor humor. I know it's lame. I also succeed with really bad jokes and often times, my jokes are terrible.

Once again, you don't care about that. You want to know what movie I'm going to talk about since I keep promising to get back on track but never do! I promise, I am working on this and I will do better in the future. After last week's untimely loss of both Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall...I've been in a funk. I don't know why but just talking about my depression can really offset me and depress me. Part of is is ashamed that I struggle with my mental health and another part of me knows this isn't something I'm alone on. I just wish I could be normal for a change. The sad mood, the lack of interest in things, the mood swings....they get so old so fast. After years and years of fighting it, I don't want to anymore.

I'm not saying I want to give up on life, I just want things to be different. So, I've decided that I am going to make some changes. One of them being that I will be starting up vlogs again soon. Tomorrow, well today, DigitalDad and I are going shopping for a wireless card because my brother kindly donated his desktop computer to me. And by donated, I mean he recently moved the Abu Dhabi and left me with a bunch of his stuff. I got my entire kitchen from him. I also got his super awesome ASUS computer that he basically built. It's actually nicer than my laptop, so I plan to start using that soon. Also, I'm getting a camera! I have wanted a real camera for so long, not just my lame little webcam. So things should be picking up in that department.

Now, I have seen quite a few movies this summer, some of them good, some of them just awful. One of the ones I didn't care for is “The Purge: Anarchy”. I enjoyed the first one mainly because of that one character being so freaking upbeat and polite. The second installment was so much worse that the first one. It starts off with three different stories that end up converging into one. And they're still beating us in the head with the “Blessed are the new founding fathers” line. We get it! It's still America, just revamped. No, it's still the same crappy place, just with more violence! And it's the same basic premise, one night with no repercussions. No matter what you do, it's legal. It's the same freaking thing, just with new characters.

In this one, we have a mother and daughter, a married couple and a man with a vendetta. They're all rather bland in my opinion. Even in situations that call for emotions, they all seemed too calm for what's going on. I get that they still showed it but I'd be a little more hysterical if someone had a gun to my head. I wouldn't just cry a little. Also, how the hell did people's makeup never get messed up? Like, everyone who had it on always look flawless. They are running through the streets, sweating and getting into stuff, they should be greasy and grimy.

Again, the story isn't much to tell. As the film progressed, it became incredibly predictable. You knew who would get in trouble, where they'd run to, what would happen, you know the drill. It was a general disappointment. Had there been someone like the creepy Polite Leader from the first one, perhaps this would have been more interesting. I just got bored because most of the characters came off as whiny or just annoying.

The thing is, when the movie should have ended, when things seemed to be resolved, they go off on a completely different tangent. The group gets captured and taken into a random building for a hunt. It's basically an auction for the rich people so they can buy strangers to kill. In the arena, the group manages to survive, just barely though. The husband gets killed and the wife decides that she wants to purge now. And somehow, during all this, the resistance group that was never mentioned in the first film shows up to save them. The movie just ends soon after with no real resolve and no real sense of satisfaction. It was another letdown this summer.

I've heard “The Purge” compared to the video game “Grand Theft Auto” many times. Having never played those games, I can only assume from the descriptions that I have gotten that it is true. Had this film maybe tightened up a little and not had so many characters in such a wide space, this could have been a fairly decent film. But the paper thin plot and overpopulation just bogged it down too much for me to enjoy it.

I'm TheCinemaChick and basically...run.

As Above So Below

 Hey everyone who enjoys movies and blogs, I'm TheCinemaChick! I go out and watch a lot of movies then report back to you so you know what's worth seeing out there. Sadly, there hasn't really been anything that's caught my eye as of late. Everything just seems...okay. Not good, not bad, just somewhere in the middle. But, as you all know, I do love a good horror movie. So when I heard “As Above, So Below” was coming out, I had to see it. Last night, Fry and I watched the movie and that means I'm here to review it with minimal spoilers.

I'm also still behind on my reviews, so I'll probably do another blog with a bunch of mini reviews again. I don't like doing them but I have a lot going on and I just don't think I have the time to devote to each and every one. It pains me to sum up my feelings for a movie in a single paragraph. But in the interest of time, sometimes it is a necessary evil.

Now, “As Above, So Below” is a supernatural horror that takes place in the Paris catacombs. I'm both horrified and fascinated by them because they are basically a labyrinth under the city made up of human bones. Due to my overwhelming claustrophobia, I will never step foot in there. As you can see in the previews, a group of people are looking for the fabled Philosopher’s Stone, which would grant eternal life. They get lost and scary things happen as they continue on their journey, but is it as terrifying as the commercials would have you believe?

As with most movies that are classified in the horror genre, no. It is another “found footage” film that has a few jump scares but never truly delivers on it's promise to make you jump out of your seat. I'll admit, there was one time I did get startled but I'm chalking that up to “I'm weaning off an anti anxiety medicine so I'm already jumpy as is”. Really, it was just “Paranormal Activity” set in Paris. There are things brought in that are never mentioned later or potential side stories that pop up and vanish almost instantly.

And that bothered me more than it should really. As in the previews, you see a burning car that one person apologizes to. The film never truly explains its purpose. I watched the scene thinking this has to be a moment when a character must redeem himself in order to go on but when he tried to do so, he was killed. However, later in the story, someone does the exact same thing and it works. So why was Scarlet, our determined urban archeologist, allowed to live after redemption but Papillon, the French tour guide, was not? Is there some kind of double standard that I'm not seeing? Perhaps I am over thinking this but most of the deaths in the movie were not needed or really explained. One man falls to his death and it's never shown what caused this fall. Again, why are the men being killed off but not Scarlet? There is one French companion, Susie, who is gruesomely bludgeoned to death but her death is understandable within the context.

There is a scene in the movie where Scarlet keeps assuring George her...love interest...I think, that they are just experience illusions because of the catacombs. I cannot accept this because if it were an illusion as she claimed, then no one should have died. They would not be real, therefore not corporeal and not able to touch someone. Yet all but three die. How does this make sense? I find it hard to take a horror movie seriously if it can't even decide what its doing. There are glaring plot holes and mistakes throughout, this being one of them.

However, I will praise the movie on its scenery. The catacombs defintely come across creepy and sent some chills down my spine. The movie also does a good job keeping the film very tight and focused on the travelers and not much else. There aren't a lot of distractions which helps a little, but can't save this film overall. The characters themselves are flat and one dimensional. There is not change in them, no growth. I found it hard to sympathize with any of them because I didn't get a chance to like them.

I have made one interesting discovery. “As Above So Below” was directed by John Erick Dowdle, the same man who made “Devil” back in 2010. I have noticed that both movies play on ideology, mainly with the ideas of Christianity and sins. While I prefer to refrain from religious discussion because not everyone shares the same beliefs, I will also applaud him on the use of said themes. Both make you question whether or not the devil is real. While the earlier film was set almost entirely in an elevator, it still created an air of paranoia, mistrust and fear. The new release does the same thing just in a new location. If this is Dowdle's style, the close, tight, almost claustrophobic feeling running throughout, I would watch more of his films. I like his style as it is unique. I would advise him to pick better scripts, do more research on his topic and hire better script writers.

It's a subpar movie that might scare some people, but it just left me wondering why they didn't bother to fix the plot holes. I won't mention them because of spoilers, but they are incredibly obvious. The end of the film had me asking if Hell was in Paris or if they were implying that Paris itself is Hell. Toying with the concept of reality worked in the movies favor, but the lack of continuity ruins it. I found it hard to get invested and wound up enjoying my nachos more. Seriously, I could go on about those nachos for a while.

I would like to see more from John Erick Dowdle in the future. I like his style and with some fine tuning, he could be simply amazing. I expect “As Above So Below” to do well this weekend but once word gets out that it's not all it seems, it will quickly fall.

In general, I'd say skip this one. Go see something else. It's not scary and spends too much time trying to force the jump scares on you which just makes it feel...well...forced. I still think “The Conjuring” is a superior horror film and I have recently acquired a collection of fifty horror classics starring people like Bela Lugosi and Vincent Price. Who wants to guess how I am spending my weekend? If you guessed shopping with Fry, you're either spying on me, have been listening to my calls or you just know.

That's about it for me on this go round. “As Above So Below” isn't worth the time or money. It's another “Blair Witch” and “Paranormal Activity” wannabe.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I have just received word that I am going to be published for a second time. That's right, my short nonfiction story “A Flurry of Hands” will be published in “Under the Clock Tower” later this year.

Thank you guys for all the love, support and pageviews. It means the world to me knowing that people enjoy my often nonsensical reviews.

Begin Again and Depression

 Hey all you blog reading people on the internet, I'm TheCinemaChick! You know and possibly love me as the girl who sees way too many movies and then reports back to you. I know I've been gone for a while, but please forgive me. I was rather sick for a while and couldn't even get out of bed. Also, my brother and his family will be moving far away soon so I've been trying to see them as much as possible before they leave. And on top of that...well, I trust you guys enough to say this. When MovieMomma passed away, she was cremated and I plan to scatter them over water somewhere, like the ocean. Well, due to scheduling, financial issues and general disagreements on what she wanted, my brother and I have yet to say our final goodbyes. So...as of now...I am caring for MovieMomma's ashes.

It hit me hard when I received them. It was like another reminder that she's gone, so I was incredibly depressed for several days. I took about two days off to just cry and think about her.

Other than that, things are going quite well. My dog is happy and healthy, which is good because he had some issues for a while but he's over them. I'm pretty sure you don't really care about me just going on and on about my personal life. No, you're here for the movies! Of course, how silly of me.

So, I just counted and there are seven reviews that will be done today and tomorrow. I would knock them all out today but tonight, Fry and I are going to see “Into The Storm”. She thinks it'll be good but I'm only so -so on it. It looks ok, nothing special. We might be joined by my Other Mother, and no, not like the one in Coraline. Fry's family has become like a second family to me over the years. Her mother looks out for me, so she's like another mother for me, hence why I call her my Other Mother. Seriously, I don't know what I would have done without them. They've helped me out in so many bad situations. I will never be able to repay all the kindness they've shown me in the past ten years.

Once again, off topic!

Let's discuss a little known film called “Begin Again”. It's had minimal advertising and it quietly started in theaters a little over two weeks ago. It's nothing special, just another love story with music mixed in. The story itself I didn't care for. The characters were just okay, nothing terribly memorable. I take that back. At one point, Adam Levine sports a massive beard that just looks awful on him. It's like he's an Amish greaser or something. Let that image soak into your mind for a while. An Amish greaser.

It's a typical story, boy gets famous, boy cheats on girl, girl leaves, girl gets over it and becomes independent. Like I said, its nothing new or even interesting. What does help is that Mark Ruffalo is an alcoholic music producer who stumbles upon Keira Knightley at a bar and begins making music with her. And in case you're wondering, that is not a euphemism for anything. However, as they cannot afford a studio to record a demo, they just record wherever they can. One song is done in an alley, another one in some boats, one on a roof, you get the idea. And the music isn't even that original either. But it's got something in there that I have to admit, I really liked.

The songs themselves are quite catchy, especially “Lost Stars” whether you choose the remix or original. Both Knightley and Levine sing a version of it, which makes an interesting comparison. Both renditions are equally amazing in their own right, I will admit. I wish there was something more to the story because then it would have blown me away. My favorite character was Mark Ruffalo's purely because he was just a cranky older guy who liked bossing people around. He wasn't an annoying lovesick person who wanted to redeem themselves. Don't get me wrong, everything works out perfectly in the end. I take that back, because the main characters are left on a very vague note. It's never state if they get back together. She releases the album online but after that, the film ends. So its possible they never, ever, ever got back together. And yes, I did use a Taylor Swift song there.

“Begin Again” isn't for everyone. It's a good movie to watch with your girlfriends. Adam Levine looks good as always, even if he does look terrible with that beard. The songs are catchy and many of them did end up on my spotify play list. It's not for everyone but once you see it, you'll probably a way to find it sneak into your movie collection.

I'm going to end that review on a short note because I've been at a loss for words for a few days. As you all know, Robin Williams tragically passed away. His death was a suicide. I started to write something about his career and how it affected me, but I managed about five paragraphs before I stopped. I, like many people out there, am stunned. I have trouble believing this happened. It was very shocking, very sudden. The funniest man many of us grew up with is now gone. It's almost as if an era has ended. Many of us will never forget him in “Mrs. Doubtfire”, Genie in “Aladdin” and “Hook”.

I had another upsetting event taking place at the same time so losing an actor I highly admired just came at me like a blow to the chest. I knew he had struggled with addiction in the past, he'd battled depression but I thought he was doing just fine. However, this goes to show, you can never know what a person is thinking.

Everyone, depression isn't something that just goes away overnight. You can't just throw a pill at it and deem a person cured. It's a daily war with yourself and sometimes, you lose. I'm not saying everyone with depression will attempt suicide. However, it's harder to live. Normal, every day activities are suddenly uninteresting, friends become enemies for no real reason and sometimes, food might as well be sandpaper. It's hard to function. Getting out of bed might be a huge victory on some of the worse days.

I have been living with severe depression for about half my life. I know how hard it can be to just smile or find a shred of happiness. I also know that pills don't solve everything. In my case, there are certain drugs that increase my negative symptoms. Currently, I take a pill that works but its only a matter of time until I build up a tolerance to that as well. This is why not everyone can take medication and fix the problem. There are so many little aspects to it. For instance, don't criticize someone who does struggle with depression. Telling them to just get over it won't help. It makes them feel like having a mental disorder is their fault, which places a lot of guilt on them.

There are people who are willing to listen and to help. I am one of them, if you wish to remain anonymous. I know where you're coming from and I don't want to lose anyone else to depression and suicide.

Please, if you are feeling suicidal, call someone. Whether its a help hotline, a friend or a family member, just remember that you are loved. I'm reminded of another great man, another man I admired, who also committed suicide, and these words ring true, no matter what the occasion. So whenever you feel like you don't deserve to live or that someone would be happier if you were dead or if you just think you are stupid and unloved, please, please, PLEASE, remember these words:

You know what?

I want you all to look at me.

I want you to look at me because what I'm about to say is important

I been thinking about this a lot lately and I want y'all to know this

This goes out to everybody.

You're not stupid.

Ok?

You're not stupid.

Don't ever tell yourself you are.

You're important.

What you have in your head may not mean a lot to a lot of people but that's what makes you special

You are important.

You are special

You mean something

You're going to go out there and do wonderful things.

But first and foremost, you're not stupid

You're not an idiot.

Don't ever tell yourself you are.

And if nobody else ever tells you this, I care about you.

Those words came from Justin “JewWario” Carmichal, a contributor to Channel Awesome.

If you don't believe me, then let Nash (also from Channel Awesome) explain depression: (strong language warning)

I'm TheCinemaChick and you are never truly alone.  I'm always here for those who need me.

Trailer Trash - Fifty Shades of Grey

****We are once again discussing Fifty Shades of Grey!  Be warned!****

 Hello everyone, what's going on? I'm the one you know and love as TheCinemaChick. Today we're going to do something that hasn't been seen here in a long time. You haven't had had a decent “Trailer Trash” in so long that we figured it's a good time to have one. I've got Kit Kat on standby and we're going to talk about the hottest trailer out there. Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a look at “Fifty Shades of Gray”. Or as I like to call it “Twilight Porn”.

Alo everyone. Kit Kat is back at last. Excited to do some Trailer trashing. And I think this is the perfect trailer to come back with and review. It was one of the bestselling book series and now it’s going to be a movie. Although, this is admitting a remiss in my literature duties, I haven’t read the series myself but I did a little searching and discovered the general “storyline” of the book. So, I will get to give my opinion from the perspective that some of you may be coming from who haven’t read the books. But time for the trailer.

I personally am surprised they can show this in theaters. That final scene alone...it's just her tied up, blindfolded and moaning. It makes me uncomfortable. They sort of drag out this sexual tension up until that point. And even the trailer shows just how much like “Twilight” this story is. If you've seen my rant about this series, you know that I see this as thinly veiled Twilight porn. The characters aren't even different from the originals. They're just...I'm trying not to go into a nerd rage about this but let's face it, it's fanfiction. Not even good fanfiction at that. We have our Edward, Bella and even though you don't see it, there is a Jacob.

I completely agree. I was rewatching the trailer just to refresh my memory about what I was seeing. I literally had to pause the video and look to Cinema Chick and let her know all I could think was “Twilight”. With lines like: Grey – “I’m incapable of staying away from you.” Followed by Ana saying: “Then don’t.” I can’t help myself. I nearly checked the title of the video to make sure I was really watching a trailer for “Fifty Shades of Grey”. The whole trailer can lead an unknowing person to think it’s not completely about the sex. As if they are going to underplay it in the movie. However, it’s more than likely that they aren’t. I’m honestly wondering how much are they going to try and get away with in the movie itself based upon the comments I’ve heard people making about various scenes in the book.

I have to admit, I really dig the new arrangement of Beyonce's “Crazy in Love”. It's probably my favorite part of the whole trailer. It does actually fit perfectly with the scenes but even then, it just looks bland and boring until he appears to molest her in an elevator. And if anyone cares, that's a scene from the book when he's debating his paperwork to sleep with her then says “Fuck the paperwork” and makes out with her anyway. I'm not kidding. This really happened, along with other things. You can't really get a sense of how screwed up this truly us unless you've read the book. Like, the part where Christian shoves some guy out of the way...looks harmless, until you find out he drove like...30 miles or so to see her after she drunk dials him. I seriously wish I was making this up.

People who haven’t read the books and go see this movie are not only going to be lost but they might actually feel a little uncomfortable once things get rolling. Pretty much anything beyond the beginning “calm” part of the trailer left me confused. Well, unless the sex started popping up. That’s pretty self-explanatory. I’ll admit, I have seen some movies with “PG sex” in it. And if somehow I had been living under a rock during the book’s reign and only seen the trailer recently, I might not think anything untoward about the trailer until the BDSM aspect shows itself.

I can say that this book/film does not portray BDSM in the proper way. I've read some articles that have popped up since the book's release and from what I can discern, Christian Grey is not actually a true “dominant” and Anastasia is not a true “submissive”. Everything I've looked at points to abuse and him being controlling of her. Again, I know I've claimed that Edward and Bella had an abusive relationship but that pales in comparison to what I've seen in “Fifty Shades of Grey”. And in the trailer, you barely get a glimpse of what is to come with him picking up the blindfold and her...moaning...

All in all, what I see here is an almost painfully obvious attempt to simply get “butt in the seats” at the movie theater by trying to appeal to as many people as possible. Keeping the sexual/BDSMish nature tucked away (mostly) appeals to those that aren’t used to seeing those kinds of movies while hinting at more to the story than just sex. However, those who know the books and looking forward to seeing them “live” might have their curiosity poking at them to see more than the trailer is revealing. All of this just for a movie that is only not called a fanfiction simply because it’s not being covered in obscurity on some fanfiction website.

Basically, there are three types of people who are going to be dying to see this one.

1. The housewife type who used “Fifty Shades” as the thing called “mommy porn” and are seeking their own Mr. Grey.
2. People who haven't read the books but want to see the sex.
3. Grown up Twilight fans.

As for me, again, I try not to let bias and personal opinions ruin a movie for me. So yeah, you will probably see me at the theater, trying not to laugh. Or, possibly with a stiff drink.

Actually, I’d be interested in hearing about the type of audience you see in the theater when you go and if your prediction will be true to form or if there are a few surprises in the audience.

Well, we will have to wait until Valentine's day of 2015 to know this for sure. I'm certain I will have another long, ranty review for it when it comes out. I honestly expect to see a sea of middle aged women, hormonal eighteen year olds and me...who's just there. Or, do what a friend of mine suggested. Take a shot for every Twilight reference and die of alcohol poisoning.

Interesting choice for a release date for this movie I have to say. And I look forward to the drunk call you might make to me after you get out of the theater. I personally will not being going to see this movie but knowing my good friend here I will be told more than enough to make up for that fact after it comes out in theaters. Always have to spread the joy around.

Kit Kat will never forget two things from our past: The “Magic Mike” call and the fox waffles incident. Neither of which we will go into. I think a drunk “Fifty Shades” call might be in order. I can have a Valentine's Date with Jack...Jack Daniels. All that aside, final thoughts about this semi pornographic, possibly offensive and definitely uncomfortable trailer?

Well, I think you’ve pretty much said it all right there. The beginning seems fairly standard albeit boring. Some of the moments are semi-interesting but seem to bear rather little on the inescapable fact that my mind automatically connected it to “Twilight” and found myself in a very uncomfortable frame of mind wondering about how many former “Twilight” fans will be attending a showing of this movie and literally get a similar experience without a supernatural angle.

Regardless, this will be a cash cow. However, it will never beat “The Avengers” opening weekend and I can take some comfort in that. Time to say good night, Kit Kat.

I can honestly say this has been a blast being back for Trailer Trash. I’m sure the time will come again for another round so time to rest up. See everyone again soon I hope.

I'm TheCinemaChick and you can find me at Wizard World Nashville in September.

Farewell Aquaman

 Hello everyone. I'm TheCinemaChick and right now, I'm going to step away from my reviews to make a very important blog. I have finished my other reviews, from “Begin Again” up to “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” but I am setting them aside. I will post one a day for the next few days however, there's something far more pressing I wish to discuss with you.

As you all know, I am a member of the cosplay community. My costumes may not be the best or flashiest, but I take pride in what I create. I have always been self conscious about going out in public, mainly because I often get funny looks. Most of the time, it's probably because I am not the skinniest of women and the rest of the time, probably because I am disabled and try to incorporate my crutch as creatively as possible. No matter how hard I worked on my outfits, I always felt like I looked horrible in comparison to the girls who were skinny and showing off a lot of skin. For a while, I considered leaving the community because of my deep seated insecurities.

Then I found Aquaman.

His name was Jonathan Vela, a cosplayer from San Antonio, Texas. His outfit of choice was always Aquaman. Let's all remember the Lycra and spandex are not forgiving materials. They don't camouflage anything. This man, however, did not shy away from his orange and green outfit. He stood out amongst the crowd of Princess Leia's and all of the store bought costumes. This Aquaman did not have six pack abs or a chiseled chin or even the yellow blond hair. The first time I ever saw him, I heard a lot of people making fun of him because of the tight fitting attire. At another con, I got a chance to listen to him talk. I wish I'd had the nerve to speak with him or even compliment him but sadly, I'm painfully shy.

So, now that you know that, you may be wondering why I'm writing about a man I have never actually met.

To be honest, because Jonathan Vela was someone I aspired to be. He had a smile that lit up his face. Even when people said bad things about him, he still held his head high. Most importantly, he took pride in his cosplay. He is proof that just because you aren't the smallest person or the most “ripped”, you can still dress up as the person you love. Every time I saw him, he seemed positive and upbeat, never once listening to the comments said about him. He exuded confidence in every sense of the word.

Another question you may have: Why am I writing this? Why speak so fondly of him? What's going on?

Here's the answer. On July 25^th, he suffered a brain stem stroke. It was catastrophic. People donated money to help with this medical bills. If you wish to donate, I will leave a link at the end of this blog, but please, stay with me. So here we are on August 8^th.

It is with a heavy heart that I must say ladies and gentlemen...Aquaman has passed away.

As I just said, the stroke did a lot of damage and he never recovered. Facebook and Tumblr are lighting up with words of praise for him, sympathy for his family and memories of him. So here I am, mourning a fellow cosplayer who inspired me in so many ways. I will never have the chance to tell him that his dedication to being Aquaman made me feel determined to stay with my craft. Just because I am not small doesn't mean I can't pay homage to my fandom in costume.

In fact, let me tell you a story. As I said, I never officially met Jonathan Vela. At the Sci Fi Expo this past year, I wanted to do a Radagast the Brown cosplay. However, the pieces I'd ordered never arrived or were put on back order. With a week to go, I was scrambling to assemble something semi decent. I mean, I was going to meet Radagast himself, Sylvester McCoy, I had to look amazing. I was already upset because I wouldn't look good and because I would still have my crutch to deal with. Part of me wanted to just give up completely. What was the point of going in a half assed cosplay that people would just make fun of?

Then I remembered Aquaman.

If he could walk through the convention with his head held high, why couldn't I? He was proof that cosplay isn't about who's the prettiest or who looks the best. Cosplay is about having fun and making costumes while putting your own spin on it. It's about meeting new friends who share the same nerdy things.

Who cares if I'm not a perfect Radagast? So what if my Dalek is a little rough? And if my TARDIS is a little frayed...well, that adds to my charm.

And you know what? After I spent all that time worrying about looking stupid in my makeshift Radagast cosplay, I found out all my fretting was pointless. To my surprise, I was a hit. I had people complimenting me all day. Everyone knew who I was dressed as without having to ask. For the first time, I had the courage to walk the red carpet, to let myself be photographed by everyone. I finally felt pride in my craft.

The best part of all that was hearing Sylvester McCoy himself praise my costume.

None of this would have been possible if I hadn't learned from Aquaman. I wish I had the courage to speak with him before losing him. I wish I could tell him how much he has inspired me to keep at my craft. Because of him, my love for costuming has been rekindled. I may never have the best costume and I will probably still thrift all of the things I need for it, but I don't care.

Aquaman is my hero.

Aquaman...wherever you are, I hope you know how many people miss you. I am one of them and I can only hope that I will inspire someone as much as you inspired me.

For now, I will pass along what I have learned from him. Cosplay is about having fun. It's about being silly or interpreting a character in new ways. Size and shape don't matter as long as you're happy with who you are. Don't be scared of what others think about you. In fact, if they are staring at you while you are in costume, its possible they are impressed with what you've created.

To the family and friends of Jonathan Vela, I extend my deepest sympathies and just want you to know that he was loved by so many. He will be missed.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I am now proud to say, I am a cosplayer.

Here is the article from Big Fan Boy:

http://bigfanboy.com/wp/?p=23730

If you are interesting in donating, here is where you can help:

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/v375/aquaman-s-recovery-fund

Jersey Boys

Hello fellow movie loving folks, I'm the one you know as TheCinemaChick! I'm always up to something and sometimes, that might involve doing something completely different. No hints about what I've got in store but it'll be fun. I might even have a special guest with me.

But you're not here to see me being all mysterious, you're here because it means I have another movie to discuss. And you would be right, my friend. I have three more movies to cover before I am completely caught up with my list. You see, there are two films I have watched but purposely held off on because they are just so simplistic but brilliant. Actually, tomorrow, it will mean I have to add another movie since Fry and I plan to check out “Begin Again”. What can I say, she thinks Adam Levine is attractive, I like Mark Ruffalo...we couldn't resist.

But now, in THIS review, let's look at “Jersey Boys”.

First off, this movie was not what I expected. I mean, I knew it was a (semi?) biography...I'm not sure how much is truth and how much is fiction in this. It's about Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. What I did not expect was the incredibly high amount of cursing. I'm comfortable with mild cursing but this was beyond that. The language is extremely inappropriate, so don't take the kids to see this one. Leave them with the babysitter for this. There's no violence, no sex, occasional drinking and lots and lots of swearing. I don't care if it was really like that, I'm sure there were several spots where we could have left out some F-bombs.

Overall, I did enjoy it. The story was good, though the method of telling it confused me a few times. It starts off with one person's point of view, then it'll randomly switch to another person's, then back, then to someone else, so you never know who's going to start talking next. It does also take a while for the story to get going since there is a lot of background information to get through before we even get to the music. Again, some of this seems like it could have been left out and have no effect on the film. There's a scene where Frankie and his wife get into a fight about raising their daughter then suddenly he has three. There is no mention of them previous to this and they are only seen once more, during a funeral.

One thing I really enjoyed about this movie is that most of the main actors are from the Broadway show. That's right, they aren't regular actors. I think that's really awesome and not done often, if ever. Christopher Walken is also in this, but he is not on screen much. His name is thrown around a lot but for the most part, don't hope to see him dancing.

Sorry, guys but this will be a short one. I didn't like “Jersey Boys” but I didn't hate it. It's not my preference but I do recommend it because the story is compelling. It gets a little confusing because the perspective tends to shift between the band mates. Most of the characters were unlikable as well, so I had a hard time really getting into the story. For the fans of the Broadway show, this is apparently just as good. Having never seen it, I can't say.

While I don't see if being a huge box office success, it has done fairly well. It has had some very stiff competition from newcomers.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I could be invisible right now.

Fifty Shades of Twilight??

 **I will be discussing “Fifty Shades of Grey. There will be mentions of sexual activities and foul language. If you are offended by that, do not read further.**

Hey guys, you can call me TheCinemaChick. I’m a film nerd who also has a slight obsession with pop culture. Right now, I’m a bit irked. That’s right, you heard me, I am irked. The big smash hit a few summers ago (in a literary sense) has been the “erotic” trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey”. It’s did better than Harry Potter and that does sicken me a little. Now, it’s being adapted into a movie. Yes, a novel about sex, smut and BDSM is coming to the silver screen. You have been warned.

First off…what the hell? How did an underground sexual fetish become mainstream? Last I checked, people’s private lives stayed between them and their bedroom. This…this is…well, I’ll be honest, I’ve read worse stuff. I’m not saying I read pornographic materials, because I don’t. I've read “Lolita” for a class and I've read “Peyton Place”. Almost nothing gets to me anymore. I’m actually reading “Game of Thrones” currently. However, like millions of others, I was curious about this book. So…I bought the “Fifty Shades of Grey” novels.

…I am also deeply ashamed to admit that.

Once again, I didn’t buy them because I love the content, I bought them out of curiosity. Besides, I don’t think I could walk into my local library and check them out. Before I go full on ranty with this, I want to make one thing painfully clear to everyone. “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a FANFICTION based on the “Twilight” series. It started off as a story E.L. James wrote as her version of Bella and Edward’s story. To make matters worse, “Fifty Shades” is painfully obvious in its parallels. Anastasia is clearly Bella, Christian is obviously Edward and Jose is Jacob. It’s like James put a thin, transparent veil on the original series, slapped her name on it and called it original.

The thing is, I’ve only read the first two books. I cannot stand to read the final one because the first two are so horrible. What made me even more upset is that at the end of the first novel, I was cheering for Anastasia because she walked away from Christian. She showed potential to become a positive female role model, but as soon as the second story begins, she turns into Bella. Anastasia Steel, the… “heroine”…of the story, gives up on life completely. But that's not the worst part of all this.

What really gets me is that so many women want to become Anastasia Steel at home and have their own personal Christian Grey. Look at the text! He makes her sign a contract where she agrees to let him control her life. She has to eat what he chooses for her, when he wants her to, she has to work out, he picks what she wears...Anastasia gives up completely because she's so in love with this man. He is a sick, twisted man who stalked her before claiming her. I am not kidding on this one. I've read enough to know this is true. He also buys the publishing company she works at because he needs that much control over her life.

At one point in the second book, he even makes the statement, “I like beating brunette girls who look like my mother.” It may not be in those exact words, but that is one detail I will never be able to forget. You see, I read the first book...well, let's have a little flashback.

***commence flashback***

It all started in the summer of 2011. Perhaps it was a different time, maybe a better time. I was still taking care of MovieMomma full time. She had been listening to the morning talk shows where they had been discussing “Fifty Shades of Grey” and she wanted to know more about it. However, my mother was also blind and could not read at all. So...I grudgingly agreed to purchase it (for my Kindle so I didn't have to go somewhere and be seen buying it) and read it. I reported back to her and gave her the basic synopsis, which was hard to do considering I didn't know how to explain to her that the book is “Twilight” but with a lot more abuse and bondage. I read her a few passages out loud so that she could get a general idea of what I had to go through so she could know all about it. That's the second time I had ever seen my mother laugh that hard.

***end flashback***

I read the second book in hopes that the series got better.

It didn't.

I do own the third book. I think I have read a single page and will most likely read beyond that. Rest assured, I am not thrilled to admit that I have read part of this series because as I have already stated, this is just porn. It did well with middle aged women...hence why it earned the nickname “mommy porn”. I am not sure what that is exactly. Perhaps it's some sort of fantasy book that'll help bored houswives escape their mundane life by engulfing them in this BDSM tale?

Here's the basic issue I have. Everyone's raving about how great these books are when all I see is a naïve college girl who is caught up by an older man. He uses her for sex, controls every aspect of her life and uses sex to keep her as his toy. Christian Grey is an abusive man. There, I said it. I don't like anything about him. I don't think he's hot, either in the book or on screen. Whoever is playing him isn't attractive.

Hate on me all you want. I don't like him.

So, I cannot express how much I hate this series without wanting to curse and just rant for hours and hours. I see almost no positives in the book other than its graphic sexual content. I'm not praising the content but its the only parts that have decent descriptions. Everything else is just sort of vague and left to the imagination. And yes, I feel I can criticize the writing style of these books. Why is this, you may ask if you have no idea about my education. I have a degree in English and Creative Writing. I know how to write and I have been perfecting my craft for many, many years. Description is a huge key to all stories. You need to use the right words to show the reader everything, not just tell them.

I don't see the appeal. I just don't get it. The characters are bland and flat with little, if any change as the story progresses. The plot is thin but I guess its a romance...sort of...sure, let's call it that. It can be a romantic, erotic book...well no, since it's not a romance. IT'S PORN!

I can't say how much annoyance and rage this causes me. It's a terrible book now a terrible movie. People will see it because they want to see Mr. Grey in action.

Here's a thought. Instead of looking for a Mr. Grey, how about finding a Mr. Darcy? Or a Rory Williams? Or an Augustus Waters? I can't believe I'm even saying this, but go find an Edward Cullen instead.

Will I ever finish reading the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy? No.

Do I agree with the casting choices? No.

Most importantly...will I see this movie? Sadly, probably. I see movies of all sorts and try to push personal bias aside. While I don't think its for everyone, I think I can watch it with an analytic mind and look past the smut.

Fun fact: Matt Smith, better known as the eleventh Doctor, was considered for the role of Christian Grey.

I know this movie won't fail because it seems to have a loyal female fanbase and some of the younger Twilight fans who have grown up will probably hop on the bandwagon as well. Beyond that, it'll still make millions. Hell, it might even break the billion dollar mark due to popularity.

I'm TheCinemaChick and I...I just don't know...