Hey guys, I’m known internationally as TheCinemaChick and I usually see movies. Well, I’ve been doing some thinking and been talking to my trusty sidekick, Kit Kat. Plus, I read Mumford’s blog about online dating, which also got me thinking. It only seems logical that if a guy gives his opinion on the whole dating scene that a girl should too. So here I am, a chick with a few thoughts on relationships.
I suppose before I go into my rant, I should let you guys know a little more about me. First off, I’m not the super hot girl who could get any guy she wanted. I’ve had a grand total of four boyfriends in my life. Each one was different and each one had problems. I’m not saying the experiences were bad, but each break up taught me something about myself. With that said, I haven’t been in a relationship for about two years.
I don’t date.
It’s not that I don’t want to, but you know, the opportunity hasn’t presented itself to me. Now, I’ll readily admit that I’m not the super thin girl who has movie star good looks. I’m more of the nerdy, sits in the back corner reading comic books and wears a hoodie girl. By the explanation, I guess you could call me a wallflower. By no means am I boring. I have a lot to say. While I know little about politics, I do have opinions.
Yeah, I could do online dating, but honestly, that’s a road I don’t want to go down again. I have tried it in the past only to be contacted by either perverts or jerks that proceeded to berate and insult me. So you can understand why I choose not to do that.
I wonder…what makes me dateable or undateable? I mentioned that I’m no beauty queen. I’m open minded and willing to try new things. Ok, I can be a bit naïve and sometimes I might say the wrong thing, but surely that can’t be the reason why I don’t have dates lined up.
You see, to me, the most attractive thing about a guy is his smile. If he can walk over to me with a smile and project an air of confidence, that’s sexy! I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret. Not all girls want to find Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson. Some of us want the sweet little nerds or the chubby musician. Personally, I like guys who write, love going to concerts and movies and on occasion, hiking.
Also, not all of us want the handsome prince on a white horse. Honestly, in this day and age, does that even happen anymore? Are there girls who sit around and wait for a guy to sweep them off their feet? Please don’t take offense to any of this. I am seriously curious. I mean, I’m fairly independent but that doesn’t mean I would like to lie on a couch and watch TV in my pajamas with a guy. Sure, going out is fun too but some girls don’t like putting on their sexiest outfits and piling on the makeup.
Guys, do you really know how much work it takes for a girl to look her best? We have to shave or wax, do our hair, pick the outfit, put it on, match our shoes, pick the right purse, put on our make up and add a dash of perfume . Well…I’m not like that. I would much rather go out in my jeans and a nice blouse. Maybe I’m exaggerating about all this, but I don’t know. My friends don’t talk about their dating lives around me much anymore.
Ok, maybe it’s just me, but seriously, do all guys want a swimsuit model? I fully believe that looks will fade over time but a personality stays. What if you land the hot chick and she’s just vapid and shallow? What will you talk about over dinner? How long can something last based on being attractive? I’m not saying all hot people are like that, but let’s just say we’re basing this off negative social ideals. Like, all pretty girls are dumb and all smart girls are ugly…things like that. I know that isn’t true, but some people believe it.
As far as meeting people, the bar scene isn’t for me. I’ve had drunk guys hit on me which I hated. I also don’t drink often so I prefer to not be around it. Clubs aren’t my thing either since I’m unable to dance plus I don’t want to see girls dressed slutty. I’ve been to bars and clubs before, so I am basing it off experience. I was told I could meet people at coffee bars and the library but once again, I’m not at those places often enough to meet people. And honestly, do many people actually meet their Mr. or Mrs. Right when having drinks at some loud, crowded bar?
Speaking of Mr. Right…why do we all seek perfection? Perfect is a concept that can never be attained. I want a guy who has a few flaws. Instead of doing everything right, make a mistake. Get into a stupid argument with me. Forget what time we said we’d do something and agree to do something completely different. If life always went according to plan, things would be rather boring.
And like I said, I’d like to date. I have crushes on guys who don’t even know I exist or think I’m too ugly. By the way, I have been dumped by someone for being too ugly. I’ve also been dumped by text message. Several times I’ve also had to play relationship counselor for friends, so I know a few things about dating. It’s not the easiest thing in the world. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world, but it can also be the most painful. When you find it, it’s bliss. Losing it makes life hell.
I won’t say that people should date just for the sake of finding a one night stand. Relationships should be about finding someone to spend time with on rainy days or maybe dancing like idiots together at the bar.
I believe that everyone deserves to love and be loved. Several of my friends are now married with children. I’m happy for them, knowing that maybe someday I’ll have someone who shares in my wacky ideas. Will it happen soon? I don’t know and I don’t care. When it happens, it will happen.
However, I also think dating won’t be any easier until we learn to accept our flaws and imperfections. I want a guy who won’t be afraid to show moments of vulnerability but can also be a shoulder to cry on when I need it. I’m not asking for Superman. I just want a guy who accepts me as I am: I’m weird, I’m a nerd, I have insecurities like every other girl. Just because I’m not Adriana Lima, it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have someone to share my life with.
I’ll even admit that I had a crush on this guy while I was in college. He’s probably one of those guys who’ll never see me as anything more than a friend. He has a great smile and he was a little dorky. By no means was he perfect, but you know that’s fine by me. And in case you wondering where I went to college, I went to two. If you figure it out…then you clearly know me way better than I know me.
High school was nothing but a popularity contest. Life shouldn’t have to be like that.
I’m TheCinemaChick and while I may not be a supermodel, I’m still fun and lovable. Kit Kat can vouch for me on that.
Remember, “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
Yes…I quoted Moulin Rouge.
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