Holy shark repellant, Batman!

            Welcome to the new year!  My name is TheCinemaChick and I am a lover of all things film related.  I am working on improving my skills as a reviewer, so I might start doing vocabulary lessons.  You know, some people might wonder why I review so many films.  The thing is, I’m a performer at heart.  I grew up wanting to be a singer (preferably opera) and I do have the talent for it, but my crippling stage fright got in the way.  I do wish I could be an actress because I would love to be different characters and see how others perceive me being someone else.  I’ve done some small things and I have auditioned at local theaters but…sadly, never really broke into the business.

            Enough about me being a wannabe, let’s get right in to my first review of 2012!

            Not that it should be a surprise, but this is going to be another list.  I haven’t had the chance to see a movie yet, nor is there anything I’m really dying to see.  Now, I hadn’t planned on doing this list, but the idea originated on Facebook.  It all started because of Batman.  I finally watched Batman Begins while another person decided to watch all of the movies.  Ironic, isn’t it.  I thought, “Well, I’ve seen them all, why not do lists and see how different our opinions are?”  I’m not sure if they were all for the idea, but I’m doing it anyway.  I suppose I should give this person a name…well, we’re acquaintances, not sure if I could say we’re friends.  Hmm…I knew them in college…ok, I’ve got it.  It’ll be a dead give away for them but you know, I haven’t had a good song reference in a while. 

            So here we go, TheCinemaChick’s list of Batman movies from best to worst, possibly going up against my fellow blogger’s list.  For the sake of anonymity, let’s call him Mumford.  If you think about it, you’ll get it.  As of right now, his list is up and I haven’t read it yet because I don’t want to be influenced.  So, for my list, I’m looking at the more recent movies and I’m including the old school Adam West one.  

            From best to worst, here’s my take on the Batman films.

1. Batman (1989)

I’ll admit, the first one, to me, is by far the best.  It really captured the essence of who Batman is.  He’s dark, mysterious and elusive.  The film reflects that by being a little too dark, but it’s accented by the bright colors provided by The Joker, played by Jack Nicholson.  Michael Keaton does a good job laying the masked crime fighter.  I like that it doesn’t completely explain what happened to Bruce Wayne’s parents because honestly, I didn’t know until I came of the comic book closet and admit that I was a geek.  It’s also a Tim Burton film, so that added bonus points.  Had this been a stand alone film, I would have been satisfied.  The subsequent sequels did slightly kill the franchise for me, but we’ll get to that as we go along.

2. The Dark Knight (2008)

      I actually had no intention of seeing this.  I was telling people, “I’m a Marvel girl, no way I’m going to crossover and join the DC side.”  Butterfly called me, told me to get tickets and we’d go opening night.  Of course, since I rarely say no to him, I bought them and sat through it.  I was amazed.  Christian Bale didn’t quite cut it as Batman for me until much later when I’d had some time to think about it.  The movie was a bit confusing for me, with the whole romance angle, mixed with the villains and having the Chinese mafia added in.  I’ll bow down and admit that Heath Ledger’s performance as The Joker sealed it for me.  I knew it was him, but he is so in character that he couldn’t be seen any other way.  It’s sad to think that this was his last film, but he went out on a positive note.  I could have done without Maggie Gyllenhaal but hey, nothing’s perfect.  Harvey Dent was portrayed decently, but it just wasn’t as good as it could be.  Heath Ledger truly was perfection and his posthumous Oscar was well deserved.

3. Batman (1966)

Yeah, I loved this one.  It’s campy, it’s cheesy and there are so many things wrong with it, but I still love it.  I grew up with this movie and the series that used to be on, before the animated shows started.  It’s almost impossible to take this film seriously, but the bright colors and incredibly stupid weapons make for a good laugh.  I mean, shark repellant?  I don’t take this one seriously so I guess I love it for nostalgic reasons.  It used to be a family thing for me.  We’d all watch reruns of the old show together.  Plus, I love Adam West.  If you think about it, the over the top antics and the weird blocks of colors with words in them make it pretty funny.

4. Batman Returns (1992)

I’ll freely admit, the first two Batman movies were the best of the whole bunch.  By the first two, I mean the ones Tim Burton was involved in.  While this is one of the better ones, it’s also one of my least favorites.  I love the movie overall, but the storyline was bogged down.  We have Bruce Wayne’s story, plus the Penguin’s story then we add in Selina Kyle.  There’s just too much going on for it be enjoyable.  The ending was also rather over the top for the dark tone of the movie.  What really killed it for me was the clowns.  I freaking hate clowns and Penguin has some hanging around.  Then there’s the ceremonial-ish moment where the penguins sort of push the Penguin’s body into the water…even I, whose favorite animal is a penguin, found this to be ridiculous.  While it’s good, it’s a sharp turn from the first Tim Burton Batman movie.

5. Batman Begins (2005)

Honestly, I just didn’t enjoy this.  I thought it was very slow paced and at times, rather boring.  It was good, just boring in my opinion.  The parts I enjoyed were the scenes with Jonathan Crane aka Scarecrow in them.  He was the most interesting character in the movie.  He’s sinister, he’s sadistic and he’s a genius, but he’s barely there.  Plus, the beginning of the movie bothered me.  After the brief moment from his childhood, it swaps between current time and a flashback which gets confusing.  I found Christian Bale to be very off putting and Katie Holmes was completely flat.

6. Batman Forever (1995)

For me, this is where the franchise took a sharp decline.  While the Tim Burton films had a dark tone to it, this one seemed to have a very light hearted approach.  Dick Grayson got on my nerves because he is so annoying.  Two Face was a joke to me and looked more like a cartoon character.  Val Kilmer as Batman was seriously wrong and Chase Meridian, played Nicole Kidman came off totally wooden.  Even the plot seemed stupid.  Stealing secrets through television?  That’s the best you could do with the series?  For me, the saving grace was Jim Carrey as The Riddler.  He’s campy, he’s cheesy, he’s just so ridiculous that it works.  I imagine this character wouldn’t be the kind of person to take himself seriously.  I enjoyed Carrey in this role and I’m not a fan of his.  He combines comedy and a sinister persona very well.  I liked him but that’s really about it.  I could have done without it.

7. Batman and Robin (1997)

Honestly, who didn’t see this one coming?  It’s so bad that it’s ranked as one of the top ten worst superhero movies of all time.  There were two sequels planned for Joel Schumacher to direct but this movie killed them.  If you’ve seen this, you know exactly why.  I’ve tried to justify the reason this film sucks so hard, but there is no possible way.  I even tried the “maybe they’re paying homage to the 1966 movie” but even that one is better than this.  This might as well be a live action cartoon.  The characters are terrible, the actors were miscast and the plot was thinner than a sheet of paper.  It’s cheesy and not in a good way.  The script is deplorable, with tons of bad puns and innuendo in it.  Seriously, count how many cold, ice, winter or similar jokes are made by Arnold Schwarzenegger makes as Mr. Freeze.  Uma Thurman disappoints as Poison Ivy and once again, Chris O’Donnell plays Dick Grayson, the most irritating sidekick ever.  

While I’m ranting, who’s brilliant idea was it to cast George Clooney?  He was terrible playing an action hero.  Not to mention the opening scene of them suiting up was borderline obscene.  Did those suits need have everything…like butt cracks, oversized codpieces and nipples?  That was one of the things that made Batman so intriguing!  He was mysterious!  Oh yes, the ruined Bane!  He was portrayed as a mindless moron who does whatever Ivy tells him to do.  Even Schumacher and Clooney have apologized for this movie. 

Ok, here’s what really gets me about Batman and Robin.  Had the movie not sucked, there would have been another sequel.  The next film would have had Scarecrow and Harley Quinn.  For those of you who don’t know, Harley Quinn is my all time favorite Batman character.  But no…Schumacher had to create something that bombed so bad that its famous for being terrible.  No one can look at it seriously.  There aren’t even words to express how amazingly bad this movie is.  It’s like…Crossroads meets Green Lantern to create a bastard child of an action movie.

However, Christopher Nolan managed to successfully revive the franchise and so far, has not disappointed.  Batman Begins and The Dark Knight have been phenomenal successes.  The Dark Knight Rises is already highly anticipated and has hordes of fanboys and fangirls drooling over it.  The trailer is already out there and sucks you in.  I’m super excited to see Bane on the big screen because honestly, he looks amazing.  Like…I don’t see him as that horrible character in Batman and Robin.  He’s been redesigned   I’m not thrilled with Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle because she does not embody Catwoman like Michelle Pfeiffer did.  I will see it and I do plan on reviewing it.

So there you have it, my Batman preferences.  If you want to see Mumford’s take on it (remember…the blogger I mentioned before the rant?), here’s a link to his list:

http://aslanhollier.blogspot.com/2012/01/batman-saga-review.html?zx=9fd88e3ac110fd6a

I have not read it, but once I have posted this I will.  I look forward to it.  Read his blogs.  He has some great opinions and I may sound a little stalkerish, but I really do look forward to his posts.  

Well, that’s all I’ve got to say for now.  I’m cold and for some reason, my fingers are communicating with my brain.  Please to enjoy my Batman rant.

I’m TheCinemaChick and I have yet to see a movie in 2012…in theaters or on TV.